Essay Four: Submerging the I

[size=4]Topic Four:
Submerging the I[/size]
[B]Recap of Chuck's Fourth Assignment by Vigorous Puppy[/B]

The fourth technique in Chuck’s Workshop is called Submerging the “I.” For all the immediacy and power of first-person narrative, one of the usual drawbacks is continually hitting your reader over the head with the word “I.” A narrator who goes on and on with “[B]I[/B] did this, then [B]I[/B] did that…” is likely to seem egocentric and to alienate the reader.

The alternative is simple. Keep the first-person immediacy, but eliminate most occurrences of the word “I” -- especially those that appear early in the narrative or that lead sentences and paragraphs. For a great example of a first-person narrative that holds back on revealing the “I,” check out a copy of Chuck’s story [B][i]Guts[/i][/B], which appeared in the March 2004 issue of Playboy magazine and also in a recent issue of the Guardian U.K.

For homework, dig up some of your own recent first-person writing. Go through and circle every occurrence of the word "I." Then, find a way to eliminate [i]most[/i] of them. Can you find a long paragraph that starts with "I" and has another "I" in almost every sentence? Chop it up. Find a way to present your narrative that is direct and immediate, without hitting the reader with a thousand little "I's"--those "I's" that keep saying: "this is not [i]your[/i] adventure, it’s [i]mine[/i]."

Remember, you don’t have to eliminate the “I’s” completely. If you do, it’s not first-person narrative anymore. So, it’s fine to have an “I” show up, say, once or twice in a long paragraph--especially near the end of it--as a sort of anchor. But somewhere floating above that anchor, there needs to be a sound and sea-worthy ship.

The challenge is always to invite the reader inside, first. Allow him or her to identify with your character and sail along with you. Make the narrator an interesting but, in a way, impartial character--a window onto the world of your story--instead of a lone egocentric little “I,” ranting at the world. When you submit your re-written passages as a workshop assignment, be clear in your summary about any points of comparison to your previous work. Write a clear, concise agenda for the kind of feedback that you wish to receive.