Master Classes Relaunch with Zen Mind Beginners' Workshop - CLASS NOW SOLD OUT
Dear Unknown Cult Writer,
We understand that you're something more than a Palahniuk fan, that your literary tastes are wide and varied, and you habituate The Cult for the company of equally articulate souls. Sometime curmudgeon, sometime enthusiast, and sometimes both, you entertain with your forum posts and make friends well. Your generosity isn't obscured by the occasional dark turn of mood or minor topical quibbling. Maybe you’ve endeared yourself to the community here with casual posting, or maybe you’ve only lurked and read things and admired or disputed silently against this multiplicity of voices. But you've hesitated to take that additional step toward our Workshop and the many writing intensives and master classes we've offered in recent years, and this is something that gnaws at you a bit. If it doesn't, then go directly to General Discussion and read or post anything. But if I've piqued your curiosity at all, then I'm talking directly to you. This letter is dedicated explicitly to those who've felt the urge but not the readiness to join our Writing Community.
What's been holding you back? We would like to see a book with your name on it, or a short story--maybe a whole collection of them. Get cracking.
It’s possible that you've done the Premium Membership thing for awhile and taken a peek at our Workshop submissions. If so, then maybe you have some hint that it can be hardball in there, especially for the beginner; the critiques can be fairly harsh or hard to take. Maybe you've felt that your work isn't yet ready to stand up to that level of scrutiny. No one wants to be the stringbean video game geek or the bacony donut muncher on his very first day at Gold's Gym. Peeking into our everyday Workshop can feel just like peering into that gym window when you've never worked out a day in your life.
Conversely, maybe writing that’s a little weak isn’t the issue. Maybe you haven't been making any pages to bring to a workshop at all. Maybe your brain is a pinball machine of great if somewhat erratic story ideas that assault you whenever you're away from the computer, but never seem to fit in any organized fashion once you sit down. I know how that feels. Perhaps you need to discover how to follow and capture those wild ideas in the first place.
And once those ideas do start flowing onto paper in a way that makes some kind of sense, well, what then? Almost every writer who taps into good material does a certain amount of writing as self-therapy. There's a danger in rushing to show others that early work. There's a danger in seeking approval for very personal work. Everyday real-world writers’ workshops, when they don’t turn into viscous in-group politics, often turn into a kind of group therapy session, where a skillful moderator makes sure that everyone is heard and no one gets trounced. This is very good for the self-esteem and also the integrity and longevity of the group, but what if you're ready to bolt past the sharing of mutual not-publishable journal writing? What if you're ready to write for an audience, to write for publication, and you're stuck in a mollycoddling writers group that shuns hard-hitting feedback at all costs?
This next part gets really scary. You might be the intermediate writer who is completely unsure whether you're still just doing therapy on yourself or whether the personal material you use and tap into has, in fact, been artistically rendered to serve an audience. What if you just don’t know? Would anyone in your workshop group, if you had one, exercise the sensitivity and discernment to treat you well as a person and simultaneously supply the kind of hard-hitting feedback that actually helps you improve? Loads of good writing teachers with a masterful knowledge of language and literature are only marginally good at striking this right balance.
I've seen it for years, both inside and outside the university. And of course I've learned more in seven years as Writers Workshop Administrator for ChuckPalahniuk.net than I ever could have learned in a cloistered academic setting alone. In particular, I've had the experience of recruiting instructors and facilitating all the big multi-week writing intensives we've done in the past. Those who have participated can attest to the ridiculous amount of knowledge you can scurry away with at the end of a multi-week session with the likes of Clevenger, Baer, or Max Barry. It's a common reaction to feel you've gained more in just a few weeks than afforded by several years of institutional learning. Of course, we have our addicts, too. Those who have participated in virtually every Cult Master Class I've organized. Among this class of character, we have names that everyone will soon know. We also have those who can attest to my regular presence as a co-learner and journeyman of the trade.
But let me bring this back to you, the guy or girl who's stood at the edge of the party for far too long—the wallflower. Your secret wellspring of hidden talents covered, perhaps, by a winter's blanket of insecurities. Winter is over, my friend. I'm organizing a special class right now that's just for you. Within this class, I'm going to distill everything I've learned in 20 years of adult study in creative writing. We'll delve into key principles and practices that develop the core skills you'll need, not only to improve your craft in foundational ways, but to go on improving it in any setting. Need a primer that makes every future workshop opportunity vastly more profitable? This is it. Together, we will tackle all the basic fears and practical obstacles to your productivity and to finding your voice as a writer. I welcome you to a kind place that celebrates your quirks without granting admission to your excuses. With an invitation like that, how could you refuse? Your procrastination ends here.
The Details
Beginning Fiction Workshop with Mark Vanderpool
Where: only online @ chuckpalahniuk.net
When: July 5th - July 31st
Cost: $250
Early Registration Discount
through June 28th save $50
Best,
VP
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Comments
Is this done on our time or do we have to "chat" or "forum" together at certain times....
I understand deadlines and such - thats no problem - it's just that my writing schedule is usually when others are sleeping...
I am very intrigued and have been looking for something just like this....in fact I think you were inside my brain when you wrote the description...how did you do that?
I understand deadlines and such - thats no problem - it's just that my writing schedule is usually when others are sleeping...
I get this ... completely. Not only can my own schedule run a little bit odd, but we often play host to one or two Australians or New Zealanders, along with lots of Americans and Brits. With students occupying just about every time zone on the map, we favor asynchronous, respond-when-you-can> private forum posting over real-time chat sessions.
I can offer some real time chats or even phone time, if desired, but the bulk of the class activity will be deliberately set up to accommodate every possible schedule. I consider it the chief advantage of teaching online that neither time nor distance can create any obstacles for us. Working an odd schedule or being a night owl shouldn't hinder your ability to participate, any more than not buying a plane ticket for a far-away physical destination where we're not going to meet.
I am very intrigued and have been looking for something just like this....in fact I think you were inside my brain when you wrote the description...how did you do that?
Ninja mind secrets, of course.
..
I've got my student loan refund money burnin' a hole....I'll be in when sign up opens up....thx
So very glad to see this up and running, Mark.
I just hope I can pay my electricity and water bill and still have the cash left over to participate. There's not that much time to get the funds together, but I will be trying.
What's the maximum class size?
You know, I haven't set a hard limit on it, but if it starts to fill-up fast we'll have to cut registration at some point, to make sure everyone gets in-depth critique and guidance.
This Registration Link is Live !!
I just hope I can pay my electricity and water bill and still have the cash left over to participate. There's not that much time to get the funds together, but I will be trying.
What's the maximum class size?
What he said, minus you know... the question you answered.
Help! I'm logged in, I'm a member and the site is telling me I that I'm not either one and that I can't register.
Okay, don't panic. You're able to post here, so we know you're logged in. Click around to a few different pages on the site and make sure you're still logged in when you click back to this thread. If you're getting booted out as you navigate to various pages, and you find that you must log yourself back in often and unexpectedly, then you need to lower your browser's privacy or security settings; in particular, choose medium and not high privacy settings, and tick to allow permissioned third-party cookies. Only by allowing cookies from trusted sites can The Cult know it's still you as you navigate from one page to the next.
If it's not this thing I've just described, post here and let me know. We'll sort it out.
I'm experiencing the same problem. I know for sure I've got premium membership, just posted two weeks ago and reviewed a story a week back, got a good depo of points, but when I click on the Registration link I get redirected onto a page that says I'm neither a member nor premium.
Also, when I click there on the link that says login or become a member, I get redirected to the very same page.
My browser's set to accept third party cookies and I have no trouble navigating the site anywhere else, when I click away from the broken page I'm still logged in.
Please help - I don't want to miss registration because of this!
I should add a couple of points before I surrender to sleep for a few hours:
1. Privacy and security settings are generally found in the Tools menu at the top of your browser.
2. Attempt to complete registration using a different Browser, if necessary. For example, if you've been surfing through IE (Internet Explorer) try using Firefox or Safari instead.
Please post and let us know if this helps. I'll be attending to these matters after I catch a bit of sleep. We have other admins and technicians who may step in to help, as well.
Also, when I click there on the link that says login or become a member, I get redirected to the very same page.
My browser's set to accept third party cookies and I have no trouble navigating the site anywhere else, when I click away from the broken page I'm still logged in.
Please help - I don't want to miss registration because of this!
Okay, I posted again before seeing this. There's obviously a larger technical issue that Kirk or Clayton will have to solve for us as fast as they're awake and back on the site. No worries, if no one can get registered right now then all seats remain available until the problem is solved. Just keep checking back. And thanks for your patience and determination.
Hold the phone, I think I just solved this problem all by myself. I opened up the registration page with the Edit tab and looked it over. It appears that Dennis didn't tick "published" under the publishing options. I activated the link without realizing the page itself was not yet live. Being an admin, I could access it fine in its unpublished state, so I didn't have a true view of the user end.
It should work for you now.
Next problem: now I can open the register and put the course in my shopping cart. But when I want to checkout using PayPal I'm getting blocked every time being told that my international shipping cannot be verified and I need to choose a shiping option (there not being any option to chose from). I cannot continue checkout, browser always returns that message about no international shipment option.
Help?
Yep, I'm having almost the same problem as paper-crane. It's telling me there is no weight for the selected package and won't accept the order.
How much does this shit weigh man!!!!!
It won't let me continue otherwise......
Does knowledge have mass? Who knew.....
I will be awaiting your reply and solution to this problem patiently - thank you -
Ditto on the shipping weight option thingy. And I thought it was me.
Anyone figure out how to checkout yet?
Good luck, VP. All I can say to the writers out there is that Mark has been here for a long time, studying with the masters, and he's a great resource. If the price seems steep, check out your local university or college, heck, even a local community college. One class could run you easily $500-2000. Plus, Mark has studied with authors that you no doubt know (and possibly love) and has gleaned a ton of information from them. He's one of our best authors here, and a generous and kind man to boot. This will be worth every penny. Have fun.
Peace,
Richard
Workshop Mod
You guys should be good to go now, it was mistakenly set as a shippable item, which requires a weight to calculate shipping. Let me know if it doesn't seem to be working.
Works like a champ now, just tried it.
Thanks for getting on it so quick!
Peace,
Richard
Workshop Mod
So very true.....I just signed up and actually have butterflies b/c of the anticipation......The levelof critiques in the workshop is awesome, so I can not wait to get some even better feedback and attention.....I have always wanted to do one of these, but never felt experinced enough....This place was good before the compilation thing w/Chuck, but it has gone to a whole new level now.....nothing can compare anywhere - just research it.....no where will you find the level of professionalism, relevant advice, and fun.....can you tell I'm hyped????
I'm so glad I don't have to weigh my brain for shipping purposes. It's probably just the usual 3 to 3.5 pounds, but the extraction process makes dentistry seem like fun.
Just sent in my payment... very nervous/excited for this to start.
went through this time no probs. thanks for the help. looking forward to the class.
Thank you, Mark, for the opportunity. I hope this is more a regular offering; I have the will and the want, but not the funding. My student loans won't renew until fall, and my unemployment is, erm, not exactly awe-inspiring.
So unless we have a scholarship program here in the cult, I'll have to sit this one out. If, however, you do feel so inspired to run one this fall, I'm in. This is far more reasonably priced than any class I've taken, and eleventy-seven times as worthwhile.
Thanks for helping to keep the workshop alive, and connecting.
DP
Mozilla tool bar. I must admit has bookmarks for face book, ESPN, Funny or Die and The Cult, among others. I often visit the later late at night especially when I have imbibed, in shall we say more than a few. Looking for inspiration, whether it be a an article, review or the unexpected,... whatever. I wonder through life with doubt. Not sure what my career should be. I am disappointed that I have only finished a couple years of college... Shit!! Trying to finish my thought and the only thing I can really focus on is my inept spelling, punctuation and general lack of grammar. I have gone over the outline of the work shop but can't convince myself that I would have a real talent as a writer. Especially, when all I can think about is how I have misused the word "wonder". This latest post seems like an add. Join the workshop, for only a few bucks, before time runs out and I am lost forever. I guess my question is (if I have to have one is) will practice make up for my perceived lack of talent? Just because I day dream, and can never really focus on the task at hand, telling myself "I could be a great story teller if only someone would listen". All I need is someone to tell me "you can do it", and for the low, low price of 9.95 you can be that guy. Can you? Maybe, I'm just drunk.
Hi Stacy. Thanks for signing on. I'm jazzed myself. This class is going to be ... "intense" isn't exactly the right word, too much damage through casual overuse. But you get the idea - engrossing, enveloping and fun. You'll be amazed at how much we can do in just a few weeks.
Awesome. Thanks for your persistence through those minor hick-ups with the registration page.
I'm hoping that yours went through before Stacy's, because she is the most recent order I can see.
Also, I'm seeing all Anglo-sounding names on the list. Are you an American or Brit in Japan?
Click my user name up above my picture on the left and send me a private message. (You'll see a link from my profile that says PM vigorous puppy.) Tell me your legal name so I can make sure your registration is showing on my list.
Thanks,
VP
Having spent a good portion of my own life as an adult student, I understand your position completely. I'll definitely consider offering this class again in the Fall. And thanks for your interest and your vote of confidence.
Keep your 9.95. Just make your decision and complete the registration after you're sober. And please, do your writing sober. Drunk feels good but isn't nearly as creative as it considers itself. We'll find other ways to diffuse your inhibitions. You can do it.
I just signed up. My worry is I'll quit half way. Hopefully the price of the class will keep me focused, it's time to get more serious about my writing.
Is this somehting you will be doing again in the near future? I'm too bogged down with college classes to enroll right now. But i would definitely sit out on a few college classes in order take this class in the future.
Quitting is a valuable skill. But it should only be used for things that deserve quitting. Try to focus your quit power on things like:
1. A job that you deplore. If your boss is an ogre who likes to keep you nervous and under constant, needless pressure, you should smile and say: "I was looking for a job when I found this one."
2. A spouse or significant other who treats you poorly and makes you feel weak.
I won't expect anyone here to stay employed or married. But you must believe in yourself enough to pursue your art.
I can't say with certainty, but I would like to offer this again sometime in the Fall.
Registered, paid, stoked and really hoping to get my home internet fixed by the 5th.
Pirate writing at the workplace can be risky--kids, don't try this at home.
Thank you for the advice. I'm feeling better.
I'd like to think there's an 80% chance I quit my job by the end of July and 0% chance I leave the woman who high-fived me for signing up to this class while also telling me it's okay to leave my lucrative and soul crushing job.
Quitting is a valuable skill. But it should only be used for things that deserve quitting. Try to focus your quit power on things like:
1. A job that you deplore. If your boss is an ogre who likes to keep you nervous and under constant, needless pressure, you should smile and say: "I was looking for a job when I found this one."
2. A spouse or significant other who treats you poorly and makes you feel weak.
I won't expect anyone here to stay employed or married. But you must believe in yourself enough to pursue your art.
I'd like to think there's an 80% chance I quit my job by the end of July and 0% chance I leave the woman who high-fived me for signing up to this class while also telling me it's okay to leave my lucrative and soul crushing job.
Welcome, Dread Pirate Hatch, and Cheers Sneaky Pete. Your discernment appears sound.
..
Order went through today.
I have a day job very determined to eat me alive plus a time-lag of about 6-7 hours to the east coast of the States (London / Berlin Time here). Just hope we can figure a way to work around all that, first Intensive I signed up for.
I have a day job very determined to eat me alive plus a time-lag of about 6-7 hours to the east coast of the States (London / Berlin Time here). Just hope we can figure a way to work around all that, first Intensive I signed up for.
Where are you?
Don't worry about the time lag. As per
this post
I won't be expecting regular synchronous meetings. The main thing will be making the time to do assignments and respond whenever you can. If the deadline on a certain assignment is a week away, nothing in that deadline dictates the clock time when you work on it. I wouldn't build the class around Eastern U.S. time just because that happens to be my own zone. You'll have classmates from all over.
A simple strategy: If the deadline hour falls at an awkward time for you, be sure to submit early.
Question:
Is there a sponsorship program for people interested in donating for others to take these classes?
I for one recognize that I don't have the interest anymore in writing as I once did, but it would piss me off If couldn't set aside $50 for someone else who does have the will and ways to do this but not the cash.
Maybe others feel the same way and could complete at least whatever someone is missing to take the class.
Is there a sponsorship program for people interested in donating for others to take these classes?
We don't have anything like that officially set up, but it sounds reasonable enough. I guess we could fund a paypal account for that purpose... or it might be simpler and better for people who want to sponsor to just say so here and work out the details informally. Let me think on the options and also run it past the other administrative staff. I'm sure it could entail some accounting questions that are beyond my scope.
This is what makes this place such a kickass community: So many genorous, genuine people.
Well here I go again... I don't have the best track record for making it to the end of these classes...I tend to hate myself and my writing more and more as the weeks progress. But I'm trying to have a much better attitude about this format... so let's give it another go!
Thanks as always to VP and the rest of the staff... it's appreciated, even by us invisible lurkers. I look forward to seeing you all in the forums.
PS - My wedding date is August 7th... I haven't yet confessed to the fiance what I'll now be doing during the month of July instead of working on any wedding plans. That should be exciting!
Just an FYI if you're on the fence... Class is just about full and we are now in the last day of the early-bird discount. If you were considering getting in on this, do so right away!
Thanks for adding that alert, Kirk. I would hate for anyone to miss out. And Dave, welcome. It seems like old times. Good to have you back and I'm ready to help your stick-to-it-ive-ness anyway I can.
I've been lurking around, reading the occasional article. Now it's time to get serious. Can't wait for the class.
I'm having trouble figuring out whether or not I'm actually signed up for the workshop or not. Can someone help me out?