Rant: Hilariously Bad Trash.
Hello kiddiewinkles. I am about 50 or 60 pages from the end of the hilariously bad Rant, and just thought I'd weigh in here with a few of my own Palahniuk-fan-annoying thoughts on its thoughlessness.
Now. I confess, I have never before in my life read a book on purpose that I knew I (probably) wasn't going to enjoy. But after reading the shitty, worthless Haunted...I was sorta drawn almost against my will to this book when it came out and snagged a copy from the library. I knew it was gonnae be shite, cos Palahniuk is long past his peak, and is just churning out hackwork shite every year now like clockwork, but little did I know how ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HILARIOUS it would turn out to be. And not purposefully funny either which, of course, makes it ways, WAY funnier.
I mean...old ladies getting bitten by black widow spiders and eaten by packs of wild dogs? A main character who is addicted to animal venom(!) and who gets priapic erections through spider bites? Rabies transmission through a whole town by oral-genital intercourse or kissing? I could go on and on about how EVERY SINGLE aspect of this book is COMPLETE AND UTTER HILARIOUS BULLSHIT...but why bother? I suspect, to a degree, that wee Poloneck KNOWS that this is garbage...but I think he STILL thinks some of it has some actual honestagod MERIT (maybe listening to you fawning sycophants too much)...which makes the loon even crazier that I thought before.
And this book is a patchwork of plagiarism in a way that I have not encountered in a Palahniuk book (read 'em all except Diary and that travelogue one - used to be a fan until Haunted) and the author should be paying out royalties left, right and center to:
JG Ballard for ripping off the novel Crash (people crashing into each other fun fun/death).
David Cronenberg for ripping off the 1976 movie Rabid (in which a plague of rabies takes over a city - wonder why a gay writer would write a novel about a pandemic, eh?I KNEW AIDS would turn up in there somewhere!).
The director of the 1995 Ralph Fiennes movie Strange Days with its riff about boosting, virtual reality, etc.
Patrick Suskind for ripping off the novel Perfume with a LUDICROUS protagonist (LOVED the line on page 75: "A sexually conflicted thirteen-year-old rattlesnake-venom junkie with rabies - well, it's safe to say that's every father's worst nightmare.") with an over-developed sense of smell.
There was one other Cronenberg thing I was gonnae mention but I can't remember it right now. Now. As I said, pasticheur Palahniuk does some of this with a nod and a wink, but I suspect he STILL believes that this UTTERLY LUDICROUS stuff is actually (choke) good writing. But I mean, shit,...constructing a character (Neddy Nelson) just to spew conspiracy theories and pseudoscientific theories...what's with THAT? I mean, it totally fits with the writer's obsession with clinical facts a la William S Burroughs (as does his OBSESSION with 13-year-old boys and their cocks, as Haunted demonstrated in such weird disturbing fashion...but devoting an ENTIRE CREEPY CHAPTER to it? Fuck off and join NAMBLA, Chuck!)...but it's just TOTALLY lazy writing and just allows him to regurgitate page after page of facts gleaned from the net to save him actually having to use his IMAGINATION and write something INTERESTING. Total pish.
Another thing. The 'different voices' speaking in this book are nothing of the sort - ALL the characters in this book, give or take a phrase or two, speak with EXACTLY the same voice, just like the writers wrote the same in Haunted, which would, of course, be IMPOSSIBLE, especially as they are from different intelligence levels and walks of life. Terrible, lazy writing he just slings out every year because he knows it will sell regardless...and you fawning sycophantic psycho fan tic fans will lap it up unquestioningly. What UTTER SHIT.
Learn some humanity, Chuck, or learn to fucking write PERIOD - take a few years off, come back with something you have actually taken some TIME over and THEN you might write something worth reading and not laughing at. I realize you have a teenybop reading audience who idolize you, don't read anybody else's work and think you're a genius...but are you really such a TOTAL HACK (I personally know the answer to that one) that you wouldn't consider actually taking a bit of time and effort and energy and actually producing something GREAT like Survivor again? You seem to think you're a capital-w Writer, and hold seminars here on the subject...and yet you write such yellow journalism SHITE that you should be ASHAMED to publish it.
Just my opinion though. And you have a millon sycophants to counter it.
Fire away, Cultists...cos you know I take your opinions VERY seriously...or am I the liar behind the liar behind the liar...
"Maybe we can sell it as a snuff movie" - Meet The Feebles.