Rant essay? anyone?

yea bro

its a long shot but worth a try right lol

This is a Rant essay by Dennis Miller:

Prohibition

"Maybe he deserves a second chance, I mean who did he really hurt
besides himself? Maybe it's time that we as a nation start staying out
of people's personal problems and vices. What are we doing spending
billions of dollars trying to keep people's private lives in order?
And I'm talking about legal age consenting adults here, not kids, we
obviously have to take special precautions to protect kids. But what is
this Orwellian hang-up of ours of sticking our nose into other
grown-up's affairs? What concern is it of ours if some mindless stoner
wants to spend his his life hooked up to a Turkish skull bong? Now,
I'm not pro-drug, they obviously cause a lot of damage, but I am
pro-logic and you're never going to stop the human need for release
through altered consciousness. The government can take away all the
drugs in the world and people will just spin around on their lawn until
they fell down and saw God.

"Now I don't want to get off on a rant here, but it seems to really
enrage the vast cheese dog and beer quaffing nation out there when someone
decides to waste his own life chasing down chemical euphoria and I'm not
sure why. Our displeasure with someone hell-bent on self-ruination
through drug use seems really disproportionate to its direct impact on
us. And as a matter of fact, I believe we amplify that impact when we
attempt to enforce unenforceable laws. It not only costs us billions of
dollars, but it puts us in harms way as addicts are driven to crime as a
means to an end. Why do we chase druggies down like villagers after
Karlov? Let them legally have what they already have and defuse the
bomb. You know, I think the hysteria about drugs is often times baseless.
And this comes from me, a man who has never done cocaine in his life,
although I did smoke dope upon occasion during my stint as a student at
Oxford in the late 60s. And you know, the war on drugs is more often than
not fruitless and patently hypocritical, be honest with yourselves now.
What drugs are the most dangerous to the most Americans? Its a no
brainer: cigarettes and alcohol. Those are the statistical champions by
hundreds of thousands of deaths. And wouldn't you rather shoot a game
of pool with a guy smoking a joint than a guy drinking whisky and beer?
Someone smoking a joint doesn't all of the sudden rear back and stab his
partner in the eye socket with a cue stick, ok? He's too busy laughing
at the balls.

"And you know as far as harder drugs go, if somebody wants to shoot
up and die right in front of you, more power to him, you know? It's his
call. And you know the herd always has a way of thinning itself out.
We aren't stupid people here in America, no more than anyone else in
the world, so why are we obsessing on habits that harm no one but the
habitual, while we let real problems slip ever further out of reach. We
seem to be willfully turning away from reality, and from logic might I
add, to punish people, who in many instances are doing an extremely fine
job of punishing themselves, thank you. And in some cases they're not
even punishing themselves, but rather just following age old spawning
instincts that are as woven as deeply into their brain as their need to
watch Home Improvement.

"Is their anything more fruitless than trying to legislate sexual
behavior? You know according to the law, you can't even get a blow
job in Georgia? No wonder Sherman hustled through there. And really if
you stop to think about it, who is hurt by the time honored unavoidable
trade of prostitution? Only the guys who pay extra to be hurt. There
is no sane reason to cling to this archaic legal attempt to curtail an
activity that will be around until the end of time. You know, you could
come back to this planet ten thousand years from now and man could have
evolved to the point where he doesn't even take in nutrition from a
hole in head anymore, but I guarantee you that he'll still be cruising
ninth avenue trying to get a knob-shine from somebody named Desiree.

"What sort of perfect harried experiment society are we striving for
folks? One where you will be forced by the puritanical mentality of
your pin-headed Gladys Kravitz neighbors into a tightly constricted,
over-regimented existence? A life safe from the temptations and rewards
of the flesh? If that's your kink - go for it. But for the rest of
us, let's save the money we're wasting trying to regulate other people's
private lives. If an individual wants to smoke a joint, or shoot up, or
munch blotter like tic-tacs and drop out, let them. All right? Let's
put the billions we're wasting on a drug war, fought by fitness fanatics
on steroids and three-martini senators rolling in pork, let's put it
back in the educational system. Let's free the courts and jails of
lonely men and broken women who feel the need to buy and sell sex.
Let's let hookers and their johns have a safe building somewhere off the
streets, inspected medically and taxed up the wazoo. Let's go on from
there to tax liquor and cigarettes so that those industries can pay for
safe one-lane drunk-proof highways and air purification systems. Most
importantly, let's stop pretending that people are going to lead the
lives that we tell them to lead. Let's stop pretending that a few
simple prohibitions on substances and activities will yield up a nation
of Beaver Cleavers: polite, clean, sexless, and ready to serve their
fellow man, no questions asked. People are people. They're going to
with their lives what they want to do, whether you like it or not.
There is nothing you can do about them that won't break the bank,
overcrowd the prisons, or corrode an already oxidized judicial system.
People are perennially going to get fucked up and fucked, and we will
continue to get fucked over if we don't concede the fact that there
is absolutely fuck-all we can do about it.

"Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong."

In all the years that people have been doing this, I wonder if it's ever worked even once.

I also don't understand why someone would come here for a completed essay. While there is a lot of information here that can be used for an essay on Chuck or one of his books, I'm fairly certain almost no members have ever written a paper on any of his work.

I have, but I doubt anyone else has.

Come on, Phil! He said Thanks twice! Don't be so cruel!

If there isn't a completed essay here for you in this post, someone must have gone back in time and erased it...

Gadzooks!