Chuck: 1 Science: 0

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EDIT_ Don't mind me.

Oh, burn. Where's that gif when you need it?

And why is it always "top scientists"? Who decides who the top scientists are? Is the ranking on a point system, like NASCAR?

And what about the middle-of-the-road scientists? Do they never discover anything at all? Or are they relegated to scrubbing out the Erlenmeyer flasks and swabbing the rats' behinds for e-coli?

The most interesting part of the article was this:

Feeding the active ingredient—a peptide called PnTx2-6—to a bunch of erection-challenged rats (with high blood pressure to boot), she discovered that it did indeed perk up these poor flaccid fellows.

How can you find out if a rat is "erection-challenged"?

and

This must be one hell of a job.

If Jr. High school taught me anything, slow dance with him.

Hasn't priapism been known by scientists for, like, hundreds of years?

So it's not bad enough that some poor guy has this problem, now he's gotta let a spider chow-down on his man gear in the hope that it fixes it?

Just for the record - Did it really make Toby Maguire a man?

Or as a hacker might put it:

spidezr nad penis3z r two things most od0dz want to keep far, fsr apatr~~~~~ until nnow neW reasearch suggestz that the bvenom of one aggreSsive arcahnid coul be used in futrure treat/\/\ents fro arEctile dysfunctoon (that is, if it doesn’t kill u first)... say hello to teh br4xiliam wanderin soider( phoneutr1a nigriventer), also knosn sa rteh ar/\/\eD spid3r,o r as the banan4 spdiar~~~~ with an ovar four-i|\|ch leg spoan, this south anmd centr4l amarican native normmally creeps around banaan plantation, although some ahve wound up in americans upermarketz an dcanad1an grocary stroes,,, flaccid fellows b3War: 0N topof sevafep aIn, a sing7e bite rfom this 13ght-legged foe cajn cuz u to Lse contor7 0 fur musckleas—and if it’s n0t tre8d, the bit3 canscr3\\\\////\\\\//// up ur aBi71ty to breateh so much so that ypou sl0wly dei of oxygen deprivation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~ witha sip of teh anti-\/Eonm, though, YoUd’ recobvrr in a week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 and truth b3 tolD, oNly 10 d00dez 0ut of&,O000 are knosnt 0 ahve catuall ydeid from a bite~~~~ LLOLOLO~ survivors tell of expeReincing PaiNfu7 erections that l4st for mor3 than dfour hours—a medical ailm3nt nkown as priaop1sm LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLO!!!!!!!! IT’S THIS LAST SIDE EFDFECT THTA INT3RESTA K3NIA NUNES, A PHSYIOLOGIST AT THE MEDICAL COLLEG3 OF GER0GIA, WH0 THINKZ TH1S VEN0M CA|\| B3 USED TOTREAT SEXUAL DYSFUJNCTIOn In BoTH MEN AND HTO CHIXORZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~ az outlinnde in herjk0utnal of sexual jedIcine study, shwe fIrst ahd to isolaT3 teh toxin to blmae. “teh eNiom of teh po!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~ llool!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~~~~~ nigriv3nter spieder is a \/ey rich moixture of seera lmolecules,” nunes told msnbc~ u sUck feedin geth activei ngRedeint—a pepTide cal73d pntx2-6—to a bnch of ereCtion-challeNged ratz (with high bllood presSure to boot), she d1scoverewd tHaqti t did indeeed perk up t3she opoR flaccid fleklowx!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 LLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL asode from 4che1viNg side-edfect-free erections, The rat’z new-found pot3ncY si much differet ffrom drugz such az viagra: nunes discvered that the banan4 spidars’toxin f0lolwzd fifarent pathways To cReAte 3erctoons, which has a majro advantage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~~~~ nnEs told /\/\snbc: “this si Go0d becaue we know that some pat3intz odn’t respond ro teh c0nventional ther4py,” she sayz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~ “this could be an optuional treatmen tfro Them!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~~~~ ” nm wahe wantx to see if this Toxin can 4lso help babe sexu47 dysfunction lololololo~~ 4nd if eb3ryth1ng goes to lan, in the coming eyars, this spider toxin could wind up onm druog store shelvez and bEdorom across tHE natrion, causing shRotn3s of brEath of a very dfiferent kind

Chuck: 1
Science: literally everything else.

Too.