Interview with Tad R. fitzsimmions

[IMG]http://www.chuckpalahniuk.net/community/image.php?u=9899&dateline=1093829615[/IMG]
[URL=http://www.chuckpalahniuk.net/community/member.php?u=9899]Tads Profile[/URL]

We compiled this earlier in the day......

[B]Minuet[/B]: Ready for the interview, Tad?
[B]
Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: you can call me God or Tad or shitsist but thats a whole different story, but yea, ready as can be
[B]
Minuet[/B]: Where are you from, what is your name, and how old are you?
[B]
Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: well, i'm from Boston. It's one of those things where you were born there, you don't have any memories from there, but you have a weird bond with that city. i live in Kansas now. Wichita, Kansas. My name, real name is Brian H. i have several nick names. and i'm 17.

[B]Minuet[/B]: How old were you when your mother stopped dressing you like a girl?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: well i still do myself from time to time, by when she stoped i was i'd say about 14

[B]Minuet[/B]: Do your parents know you're gay?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: they don't believe anything i say anymore. i never met my dad till i was 16 then when i first did before we hugged or made-out or anything, I said, and i remember my exact words: "Hey come here and lick your father of a flaming homo, i love you old man!" it was sorta under my breathe though. it was in a prison where i met him at. other than that no they don't.
but there are plenty of clues, hon.

[B]Minuet[/B]: Do you have any other hobbies?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: public masturbation, hunting mice, the cult, writing. and reading the PentHouse forums. oh and what are they called again . . .. oh shit i know it . . . .BOOKS

[B]Minuet[/B]: Why do you suck so fucking much?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: well i really try hard at sucking so much. it was the way i was raised. when i didn't suck or did anything positive, i was beaten with a chair or really anything that my mother could find. that the 'go for the gold' type thing that was instilled in me

[B]Minuet[/B]: What do you have in your stereo right now?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: Interpol, Modest Mouse, NOFX, Anti-flag. and on top my copy of Wealth of Nations with a giant bug splatter on the cover, and Placebo is in there as well

[B]Minuet[/B]: Do you play any instruments?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: i play the bass. and with myself

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: i'm not very good at playing (with) myself. i always mess it up and hurt myself

[B]Minuet[/B]: ever sent yourself to the hospital?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: once or twice, steve-o stabbed me because he caught me jerking off once, stabbed me right through the hand

[B]Minuet[/B]: how long ago was this?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: a few years

[B]Minuet[/B]: What do you do in your spare time, beside masturbating to gay porn?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: well there's always masturbating to straight porn, and listening to Interpol in a well lit rooms, that really consumes most my time

[B]Minuet[/B]: Are you afraid of the Dark?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: no, i got used to the dark my mom made me sleep in the closet for . . . well lets be honest, i still do

[B]Minuet[/B]: Given the opportunity to go back in time, what would you change?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: i would've pushed Bryce off the back of the bleachers, in the 3rd grade. i fuckin' hated that kid. turned out he's a crack dealer now, you'd think a crack dealer could get coke, but nope, bastards.

[B]Minuet[/B]: So, drugs seem to be a part of your life, have you learned anything from them? what is it that you enjoy so much about them?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: i enjoy that they expand my mind. my mind couldn't do some of the things that they do on drugs, well non-stimulants, that's just an indulgences.

[B]Minuet[/B]: what can you do on drugs you cannot otherwise?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: i write some of my best stuff tweaked out of my mind though. i look for things during a trip like i would in a dream but nothing yet, still hoping. it's like fishing, except interesting.

[B]Minuet[/B]: so, youre a writer, what do you write? do you have any finished works?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: no finished works yet. i write most my story start as me writing down a experence, then it warps into something unexplainable and horrible

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: it's not a real genre that i know of it's like a kids books meets transgressive fiction

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: curious geogre ruins his life kind of thing

[B]Minuet[/B]: What, if anything, do you have in the writer's workshop?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: nothing yet but i'm trying to finish this weird ass piece that i started when i tweaking

[B]Minuet[/B]: Have you reviewed anything you particularly liked?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: no but i've read few on there that are sort-of intimidating.

[B]Minuet[/B]: Intimidating how?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: wow, they write simple things way better than i do. it took them 8 lines to do what i did in 20 and its was way better

[B]Minuet[/B]: I would'nt get so down about it, you have your own way of writing, that Im sure someone down the lines could find intimidating as well

[B]Minuet[/B]: where do you see yourself in 5 years?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: i can't see myself anywhere in five years it's scary think that far ahead. my future scares me

[B]Minuet[/B]: Why does it scare you?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: Because it's uncertain and it shapeS the person i'm gonna be

[B]Minuet[/B]: What brought you to the Cult?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: Conan O'brien i saw chuck on Conan with some slutty super model and a coke'd up quentin tartenbean-o. i had read fight club and choke before that and then sorta lost interest, then that forced me to go to the site and buy the rest of his books, it's been fun since then

[B]Minuet[/B]: What made you lose interest?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: other authors, you know better ones.

[B]Minuet[/B]: Who is your favorite Author?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: Mister Palahniuk. or Will Baer, he's fuckin' awesome.

[B]Minuet[/B]: what do you like most about Chucks books?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: i relate to the character, well just victor. the others are like people i would surround myself with, i do sort of, i can name friends and what character they're like.

[B]Minuet[/B]: What is your favorite book?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: either [I]Kiss Me, Judas[/I] or [I]Choke[/I]. but if i absolutely have to choose i would say: "fuck off, i like them both equally".

[B]Minuet[/B]: The cult Versus Real Life, any differences in how you approach things as Tad opposed to Brian?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: Brian is more caring and reserved, he wants others to be happy before he's happy. Tad does give a shit, he's arrogant, rude, mildly retarded. my friends hate me when i'm Tad instead of Brian. selfish bastards

[B]Minuet[/B]: What's your favorite forum to hang in?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: GD, but i mostly hit that damn new post button, or user control panel and look at my subscriptions

[B]Minuet[/B]: What do you think of the Cult, in general?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: i thought it was pretty shitty, then i learn not to let kl0pper and people of that sort get to me. after i got banned the first time. then i found out it was fun and semi-addictive

[B]Minuet[/B]: If you were a siamese twin, who would you want to be attached to?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: Brad Pitt or Big Bird, it's doesn't matter they both get a lot of pussy, cept Brads is the same everytime.
but on a serious note probably my step-bro Steve-o.
[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B] i wonder if circle jerks are awkward with your siamese twin?

[B]Minuet[/B]: ???

[B]Minuet[/B]: anything else to add?

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: don't smoke crack *cough*alex*cough*

[B]Minuet[/B]: Ok, thats it for the interview!

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: consider yourself lucky i wouldn't of done it for anyone else

[B]Tad Fitzsimmions[/B]: oh yea, and i guess your welcome