germany/german/germans

Do you love David Hasselhoff?
[img]http://www.melemarce.com/Miti_passati/Immagini/davhasselhoff_dave13.jpg[/img]

i visited heidelberg years ago, even venturing so far as charlottenburg schloss and the big wine vat. do you folks still go up into the hills in fruhlinszeit and deflower your women?

Germany, jee. I'm really good at German, the damn germans just don't seem to understand me...

Dog is Barkenpantensniffer and a Doctor is Chestergethumpenpulsentooker, right?

Speaking German is easy.

A piano is of course Plinkenplankenplunkenbox.

I just can't decide if the language is ugly or genious... I should put German language on the disgusting and appealing thread.

??????????????????????
wow, whole new words i've never heard of before!

and: .... well, i don't even know what to say about the beach-thing!

My favorite German is KOMPRESSOR, from Bremen.

[url]http://www.kompressormusic.com/pics/k/k-sing.jpg[/url]

I assume he is a typical example of a German male.

[QUOTE=evie.leavesofgrass]??????????????????????
wow, whole new words i've never heard of before!

and: .... well, i don't even know what to say about the beach-thing![/QUOTE]
Ioota Rhoo is my laugh of the day!

Please, do comment on the beach thing! Why do you fill up our roads each summer and crowd our beaches and dig holes for the entire family? Why not keep our beaches nice and flat like the rest of my country?

german food is wunderbar
i rmember my grandmother sauerbraten, schnitzel and rouladen; then the dumplings with caraway seeds.
i lived in travemunde in schleswig holstein, near lubeck. very lovely up there even if the weather changed three times a day.

gruss gott in ewikeit, fraulein!

at first: sorry i have been in heidelberg all week and as i have a speech to prepare for monday i didn't have much of a time to answer!!!!

@framstedt: oh travemünde!!!! i love the north of germany with the beaches and all! i've always went there with my family when i was little! it's wonderful up there!!!!

@capo: yeah, guys look all like that around here!!! we just love em like that!!!

@suicidal maniac: well, i didn't think we would do that (fill up roads and crowd beaches i mean)! i thought we were more present in mallorca and ibiza!!! hm.........

Awesome. I knew it. It's just the guys though, right? German girls are haute.

german girls are all hot, yeah!!!!

now, besides that, are there any serious questions?

What is the political climate like? I know some parts of Europe are very liberal - at least from a U.S. perspective - while others have had some really scary neo-fascist types gaining popularity.

Also, what is the public perception of media violence like? I work in the video game buisness, and we have to go through tons of screening to submit games for release in Germany. Some of the things they don't like are really mild (blood), while others are creepily specific, such as impaling a woman on a spike after raping her. What's the deal?

Finally, how is WWII remembered and thought of by the German people? Most U.S. impressions I see are of the German people almost denying it ever happened, never talking about it, etc. Is WWII really treated like a drunken uncle at a Christmas party?

the political climate is really liberal i think! there is alot that's accepted here which might be problematic in the u.s.! like drinking and smoking and also stuff that has to do with sex! i guess there are a lot of things we don't take to serious!
but yes, we have that problem with neo-fascists gaining popularity! we have this 5% border in election, which means a party has to get at least 5% of the votes to be allowed to be present in the "bundestag", "landtag" or "kreistag" (which are the parlaments of the regions or, in case of the "bundestag" of whole germany... although i don't know if parlament is the right translation). now, in sachsen, which is in the eastern part of germany, a fascist party got 9% of the votes in an election and allied with another, even more radical, party for the upcoming "bundestags"-election. most of us are really shocked by that, you know! it very often happens that when the economy is very weak that there is a radicalisation in election, but we all hope it's gonna change, because we didn't have that since the 60s i think!!!
now, we have a few young people in this country who believe that this is a good thing, those who claim to be fascist but most "normal" people are ashamed and i personally always hope that i'm not identified with these kind of guys!

as for the video game business: i can not tell you much about that, because i'm not really playing video games! but i think it has become alot stricter since this guy in erfurt got kicked out of school and then went back with a gun and shot all his teachers and a few students aswell! they said that he was playing video-games all day and that that was the reason for everything! they got stricter then about games that seemed to violent!.... as if that has been the reason!!!

well, WWII is certainly NOT treated like a drunken uncle on a christmas party.... not at all! people are actually very sensitive about it here! they react to anything that might have a little bit of antisemitism in it in such an extreme way! i know that one politician said something (which i forgot) and they even thought about kicking him out and all! then you talk about it a lot at school! i believe that there's no one here who hasn't seen "schindler's list" yet! the concentration camps have become museums now!
and of course we still have people here who experienced all this, i mean it was my grandparents childhood! and my boyfriend's grandfather was imprisoned in russia in WWII! he told us how glad he is now that he was never even holding a gun, that he just took care of the horses and how he ate raw onions out of pure hunger!!! there's hardly any way to avoid thinking about it!!!
and most people, except for those assholes i described earlier, are really sad that this ever happened and..... i don't know how to explain that but this fear that something like this might happen again ist still there, even in my generation, although we grew up in peace!

I'm taking german next year, plan on moving to switzerland after collage. is it a tough language to learn?

Thank you Evie, that was very detailed and exactly what I wanted to know. German girls are apparently as thorough as they are hot. Oh, so hot. Hot.

Hey, is it true you can buy a Mercedes over there on the cheap? I know they're used as Taxis - they are here too - but friends who have spent some time in Germany tell me that to Germans, the idea of a $100,000 ultra-luxury Mercedes seems ridiculous.

Yes, german girls are hot. Especially if you like hairy legs.

[QUOTE=Capo]Thank you Evie, that was very detailed and exactly what I wanted to know. German girls are apparently as thorough as they are hot. Oh, so hot. Hot.

Hey, is it true you can buy a Mercedes over there on the cheap? I know they're used as Taxis - they are here too - but friends who have spent some time in Germany tell me that to Germans, the idea of a $100,000 ultra-luxury Mercedes seems ridiculous.[/QUOTE]

You propably get two ultra-luxury Mercedes for $100,000, in Germany. 100,000€ is what they cost in Finland. Well, okay, probably not 2 but 1,5 maybe. With EU rules, people are now driving around Europe shopping for cheap cars.

[QUOTE=franc tireur]Yes, german girls are hot. Especially if you like hairy legs.[/QUOTE]

That may be, but French girls have flowing, braided armpit hair, smoke Gauloises and eat smelly cheeses.

Brit girls of course have terrible teeth and complexions akin to day old pancake batter.

Greek girls are, in fact, Greek guys looking for some "greek."

American girls are bitchy, needy and fat. They all drive SUVs and aspire to dump a load of birth-turds out so they can be soccer moms.

Swedish girls are former French guys. Spanish and Portugeuse girls are all lesbians, Russian girls look like weasels, Italian girls have curly mustaches, and Ukrainian girls are just like Russian girls without cosmetics or a hope of escape. Austrian and Hungarian girls don't have chins, because every person in Austria or Hungary is a bastard descendant of the Hapsburgs.

Japanese girls like poop and tentacles. Korean girls are always being mailed off as brides. Thai girls do unladylike things with ping pong balls at the drop of a hat and cannot be trusted. Chinese girls have little feet. Cambodian girls are just fucked, though that's not their fault.

So.... where does this leave us?

The only girls worthwhile are those from Luxembourg. As always, Luxembourg shows us the way.

Hooray Luxembourg!

You wish they all could be California Giiiiiiiiiirls !

Not lately. Southern California girls have recently been puffing up to get that oh-so-chic "baby fat" look. They also wear a lot of soft athletic clothes and those terrible Ugg boots (as an aside to all the Aussies, your country should be nuked for those fucking things).

End result - Blood haired, blue eyed Eskimos.

[QUOTE=Capo]That may be, but French girls have flowing, braided armpit hair, smoke Gauloises and eat smelly cheeses.

Brit girls of course have terrible teeth and complexions akin to day old pancake batter.

Greek girls are, in fact, Greek guys looking for some "greek."

American girls are bitchy, needy and fat. They all drive SUVs and aspire to dump a load of birth-turds out so they can be soccer moms.

Swedish girls are former French guys. Spanish and Portugeuse girls are all lesbians, Russian girls look like weasels, Italian girls have curly mustaches, and Ukrainian girls are just like Russian girls without cosmetics or a hope of escape. Austrian and Hungarian girls don't have chins, because every person in Austria or Hungary is a bastard descendant of the Hapsburgs.

Japanese girls like poop and tentacles. Korean girls are always being mailed off as brides. Thai girls do unladylike things with ping pong balls at the drop of a hat and cannot be trusted. Chinese girls have little feet. Cambodian girls are just fucked, though that's not their fault.

So.... where does this leave us?

The only girls worthwhile are those from Luxembourg. As always, Luxembourg shows us the way.

Hooray Luxembourg![/QUOTE]
And may I ask what's your professional opinion of Dutch girls? :confused:

well..... i dunno!
i would say it's not as easy as english!

and, you're not allowed to pick edelweiss... that's all i know!!!

i don't know about the mercedes! but 100 000 is alot of money

[QUOTE=Suicidal maniac]And may I ask what's your professional opinion of Dutch girls? :confused:[/QUOTE]
Ever had your neck stepped on by a stoner in wooden shoes?

ganz einsam und verlassen an einer felsenwand
stolz unter blauem himmel ein kleines blumlein stand
ich konnt nicht wiederstehen ich brach das blumelein
und schenkte es dem schonsten herzliebsten magdelein
es war ein edelweiss
ein kleines edelweiss
oh la ee dee oh la la
oh la ee dee oh

[QUOTE=Capo]Ever had your neck stepped on by a stoner in wooden shoes?[/QUOTE]
That doesn't sound very attrictive

[QUOTE=Suicidal maniac]That doesn't sound very attrictive :)[/QUOTE]
It's dead sexy if you do it right.

All stereotypes have some truth in them, but which bias about Germany or Germans do you think is most wrong?

we don't have any humor, we only eat bratwurst and we all wear these ugly leather pants.....

I can speak some German... I've always wanted to visit there... although most of the German I can speak would probly get me in trouble...

One of my favorite bands is Wizo... have you ever heard of them? They are German but come to the states every once in awhile to do shows with NOFX... infact I think they put a few records out on Fat Wreck, but they reside somewhere in Germany I'm sure...

The no-humour cliché is true.

nooooo, trust me it's not!!!!!

[QUOTE=walkingcontradiction]I'm taking german next year, plan on moving to switzerland after collage. is it a tough language to learn?[/QUOTE]
i took german in highschool for two years, i remember it all, pretty well. though im rusty at speaking it, i can read it and translate it when spoken to. and it was certainly a fun class to take.
as with any new language, of course its hard...at first. i think german is one of the coolest languages in the world. aside from learning sanskrit.. thats loads of fun. but they dont teach that in Higschool.
you'll do fine.

[QUOTE=evie.leavesofgrass]nooooo, trust me it's not!!!!![/QUOTE]
Well, give me an example of german humour, then.

And invading your neighbours doesn't count, thank you.

[QUOTE=franc tireur]Well, give me an example of german humour, then.

And invading your neighbours doesn't count, thank you.[/QUOTE]

My best friend is German and certainly has a sense of humour - but it's a fact that I can't think of any internationally-famous German comedy or comedians.
But then the same is true of most countries... Spain, Italy ... I know a few French ones because my girl is French, but they aren't internationally famous... Can't think of any famous Australian humour either, or Japanese, etc. - doesn't mean they don't have a sense of humour.
The stereotype seems to stick to Germans in particular because they do have a very practical, utilitarian approach to many things which seems very ...tense and focused, therefore making them seem not relaxed and in need of a good laugh.

A Germany-related fact which alarmed me was, last time I was in California, a group of people I was having a conversation with - they all thought Hitler was German.

@franc tireur: wow, are you guys still pissed because of all this? man, i thought we'd both be done with this finally! i mean ok, alot of shit has happened between our countries since 1871 and all this fighting about the elsass! but come on, that's over.... OVER! i'm not saying it never happenedor that it doesn't mean anything you know but i actually hoped we'd left it behind!!!

and: what kind of example do you especially want? names of german comidians, or do you wanna know which movies or shows make me laugh? or do you wanna hear a joke (god, i hope not! i'm lousy at telling jokes!!!)
i like those comedians alot that are very sarcastic like oliver pocher or stefan raab (if these names are familiar for you!). and i love monty python although that's british! especially "life of brian"!!!!

Evie, did you hear that the BBC is suing a german TV channel because it has made a replica of the BBC sitcom 'The Office' without paying any fees or royalties or anything - they just copied it?
I think the fact Germany would have the good taste to steal 'The Office' is proof enough of a sense of humour.

[QUOTE=evie.leavesofgrass]@franc tireur: wow, are you guys still pissed because of all this? man, i thought we'd both be done with this finally! i mean ok, alot of shit has happened between our countries since 1871 and all this fighting about the elsass! but come on, that's over.... OVER! i'm not saying it never happenedor that it doesn't mean anything you know but i actually hoped we'd left it behind!!![/QUOTE]
You see ? You didn't realise I wasn't serious !
[QUOTE=evie.leavesofgrass]or do you wanna hear a joke (god, i hope not! i'm lousy at telling jokes!!!). i like those comedians alot that are very sarcastic like oliver pocher or stefan raab (if these names are familiar for you!)!!![/QUOTE]
A typically german joke or an example of these comedians' work would be a good start.

franc - how about you lead the way and do the same for france?

evie - it should be obvious a frenchman is joking when he talks about germany 'invading'

erm.... well, i would have realised if i had seen your face while you were saying that... or a smily!
and you sounded kinda annoyed, so how was i supposed to know!
anyway.... that just means i'm slow not that i have no sense of humor!

as for the comedians (i don't know any typical german joke, sooooo...):
oliver pocher is a guy who's really really sarcastic! he lloks like he's just turned fourteen and then he keeps talking....
right now he's doing commercials for "media markt" (cds, dvds, computers and the like...).
it's probably not funny if i try to make you understand what it's like....

example: he's behind the pay-desk (?) and a woman with really big breast is coming over to pay. and he's just like! "you gotta weigh the melons before you pay them! or am I supposed to walk through the whole store with them now?"

stefan raab is doing a show on tv called "tv-total". he started just showing things out of other tv-shows that were really funny..... or just stupid!
and he sang "rabigramme": he played and sang a special song to certain celebrities! some showed humor and laughed about it others were just pissed!
i remember that he arranged an interview with britney spears and they told him in advance not to curse and in the end his song contained the phrases "and i love your silikon tits" and "you never fucked a boy"!!!
he also had george foreman in his show with his "lean mean fat reducing grilling machine" and they were cooking the way they do it on these "teleshopping channels".
"what have you got for us today george?"
"stefan, it's the lean mean fat reducing grilling machine!"
"that's AMAZING george!!!"
"let's make chicken! do you like chicken breast, stefan?"
"i like every kind of breast, george!!!"

@gobo_fraggle_uk: 1. germany invaded france about four times i think since 1870, and i know that a few frenchman are still pissed off! soooo, you NEVER know!
as for "the office": i know that we have a sitcom called "das büro" which might be an adaption, but it's a really really really bad sitcom! i mean the jokes are the worst i've ever heard and they're poorly told! i hope the original is better!
but: may it's another sitcom that you meant!!!

lieber gast,

dieser thread ist eigentlich nicht mal für deutsche interessant, oder?

schönen tag noch

pica

are australians always obnoxious idiots at oktoberfest ?

are you claudia schiffer ?

do people from cologne really smell any better than other german people?

ive heard german has more words than the english language, is this true ? does this mean you have a greater number of obsenities ?

as i´m the only remaining german round here i´m gonna answer this.

are australians always obnoxious idiots at oktoberfest ? yes

are you claudia schiffer ? no, but i met here once. she looked pretty pale.

do people from cologne really smell any better than other german people? the original "cologne" smells like a mixture of ammonia and moth-balls. but as cologne is the inofficial gay central of germany it might be true though.

ive heard german has more words than the english language, is this true ? does this mean you have a greater number of obsenities ? i´ve heard that actually the english language is estimated about 600 000 to 800 000 words compared to german 300 000 to 500 000 words. but we do have a nice amount of obsenities, du kleiner arschficker.

I'm a German, too.

Did you know that "Fight Club" is based of a german friend by Chuck Palahniuk? His name was Carsten.

hey, where you´re from exactly?

[QUOTE=scerpica]hey, where you´re from exactly?[/QUOTE]

Herzogenrath - Merkstein, Kreis Aachen. And you?

Lohr am Main, Unterfranken.

welcome on board.

Thank you.

(Ich dachte, ich wär jetzt auch ein Arschficker für dich)

Bochum

[QUOTE=scerpica]

some more germans and we could have our own little group! " the sauerkrauts" or something...[/QUOTE]
come on, its GOT to be The Sour Krauts
how could you resist that name !

anyways, I've always been told that our Oktoberfest here in cincinnati is the second largest one in the world only behind munichs, can you confirm if this is true or have i been lied to and filled with propaganda all these years
and if it is true are there any other german towns that are jealous of us?
and do you get sick and tired of any question retarded americans ask ALWAYS being about oktoberfest?