Weirdest Breakup Ever.

i once had someone break up with me because they started dating a porn star with freakishly large breasts. you could even search for her on google, which as i'm sure you can imagine was just the best feeling in the world for me, haha.
not sure that that helps, but maybe it gave you something!
good luck : )

I was broken up with by a stripper I met in Las Vegas. She claimed to have stopped stripping and started prostuting and din't want me to have to deal with knowing she was fucking other guys and doing so for money.

I broke up with a guy I adored because my friends didn't like him. However I was only 16. I learned not to do that again...

My friend broke up with a gorgeous, intelligent girl he'd chased for months because she had hairy nipples. He told everyone he'd ever met why he broke up with her. He didn't say a word to her face. Lovely.

She had a single hair growing from her chin. Just one. But it was long, and black. There are imperfections that are cute, like a gap in teeth, and those that you simply cannot get over. Even after I plucked it and her ego recovered that phantom hair haunted my sexual thoughts. I thought I'd detected some on the nipple before in the dark, and at that point i simply couldn't gamble with the suspect hygiene habits of a woman who had an inch long black hair growing from her chin.

i broke up with one girl because i hated her apartment. it was always dirty, way to hot and smelled awful...
i broke up with another girl because she was really really weird, she started telling me about all these encounters she was having with ghosts and spirits- it was just to much for me...
i broke up with another girl just before christmas because i realized i didn't like her enough to buy her a gift, or i didn't like her enough anymore i should say.

these minor things could have been overlooked, but the relationships were failing anyway, sometimes u just need an excuse...
hope this helped.

Nothing weird about it, but my exit strategy in every re;ationship I've ever been in has been been unfaithfullness.

It's just so much easier. She doesn't get her heart broke. I don't have to feel guilty because of this. She gets the ego boost from having not stood for such infedeltity and standing up for herself and recognizing her worth. It hurts them at first, but they come out better for it in the end. This may sound very unselfish, but it's exactly the opposite.

There's nothing worse than a chick who's convinced herself that it's not over, a trial breakup or perhaps a mutual split. There's no successful breaks. There needs to be a definitive reason why a relationship is not going to work. Being cheated on is usually sufficient.

You play the bad guy, you hurt feelings, you may even gain a bad rep. But any of that beats the weeks or even months of a chick crying and begging for you back. You gotta really make them hate you, only then will they benefit.

So I'll drive so f*cking far away that I'll never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

The only ay this ends up fucking you is if the check is willing to give you another chance.

Ugh.

Have some respect for yourself.

i haven't had too many weird break-ups personally but my ex-boyfriend has had a slew of them. the most memorable would have to be this one girl he was dating who has some sort of disorder where characters in books & movies affected her, literally. for example, she could watch forest gump & then hallucinate tom hanks in the room with her & talking to her. & my ex is a huge horror movie geek & brought over the movie May to her house to watch. she said she doesn't deal well with horror movies but he insisted they watch it anyway. well apparently, after they watched the movie, she started seeing angela bettis everywhere trying to attack her & steal her limbs & she had a meltdown & ended up stabbing my ex in the leg with a letter opener by accident. the looney tunes got a restraining order against my ex.

I was dating a girl who said she didn't believe in sex before marriage: she broke up with me, as I found out from our mutual friend, because she was too tempted to sleep with me. I'll take that as a complement!! I, on the other hand, would have probably broken up with her shortly after getting some cutta.

as for your request, stephanie,

we live by rules that we model from a lifetime of learned lessons. my parents were seldom in the house at the same time when i was little, and when my dad would be home from overseas, theyd fuck once, and then they would fight for the next few days until he left again for a few months. they fought loudly and slammed shit and mom took off in the car for sometimes days at a time. one time, she didnt come back. (my sisters and i moved to live with her about a year later in a different state.)

anyway.

i have broken up with a few girls who couldnt control their outbursts. i have no problem fighting or debating, but i absolutely have a problem making it other peoples business.

other rules that have ended relationships:

never touch in vein. one morning, i made a small joke. we'd just waken up and she was cranky or something. dont really remember. we'd only know each other a few days. anyway, i made a joke not really at her expense or anything, and she aggressively kind of shoved my arm. i told her not to do that again. i wasnt aggressive about, just matteroffact and in soft speak. she did it again, i guess to prove a point or something. she dressed and left my house for work. i never saw her again. i am not the type to get slapped in the arm out of humor or spite. i'm a grown man. i wont beat a bitch, but i sure as hell wont be handled by one either.

sometimes--rarely, but it happens--a breakup is inevitable out of sexual incompatibility. i dont have to add anything to that.

respect is a must for a serious relationship.

and those are the important ones, in my book.
good luck
-kabol

..

oh, hey. i forgot about the emotional angle..

my woman and i have been together since january 2005. roughly, four years. one day, and this was approx. a year after we'd been a couple, she made it clear that she didnt want to continue dating exclusively. which any guy with common sense knows that when a woman wants to continue dating but also wants to date other people, it means she wants to stop dating you. it shocked me a bit. i knew she was a little withdrawn, but people go through that from time to time. i didnt know she was unhappy. turns out, she thought i wanted to get married and have kids, two things that were absolutely NOT in HER future. knowing that you cant talk a woman out of a made decision, i didnt even attempt to. i just let her know she seemed to have emotional issues to work out. that i'm not trying to make her my wife, or make her bare children for me. that i want her to be happy. we had a few drinks and talked about it. we were housesitting at the time as a favor to one of her aunts, and that weekend i was taking her to her mother's for christmas. i told her i'd still take her to her mom's and then when we'd get back the next week, we'd talk it out and see how she'd feel. she was excited about no pressure. we slept in different beds and kept our distance from each other. on the drive home, she turned to me and professed how much she loved me. that she was sorry but she had to work it out and she had and she wanted me and only me.

so, a year and a half ago, we bought a house. and shortly there after, she asked me when we were getting married. now, i'd always been adamant about not having any interest in marriage, but i know a threat when i hear one. we have the rings. we're still deciding on a location, but it will be this summer more than likely.

odd how the things that turn out almost went a complete other direction

also, emotional

when we were together a few months, jen got on birth control. after a few weeks, the pill made that woman neurotic. neurotic as fuck. i asked why she was tripping. she yelled at me and bitched. so i took the birthcontrol pills and threw them away and told her she wasnt taking them anymore. that we'd give it a few days and see if she would feel better. because the relationship we were turning into was not a healthy one. i was pretty close to leaving at that point. a few days later, she did calm. she became not as easily agitated.

..

ive also broken up with two girlfriends over heavy drug use. one of those two, i fucking adored. but i was the number four man in her life. the other three were meth coke and heroin, and their affairs were every single day.

Our relationship was ruining our friendship.

Nautical shit.

I broke up with someone in a mean way.. not really wierd. He had been cheating on me and I was tired of it. I went to his house while he was "out" and took all my things. I sat a letter on his bed explaining how I was better than him and couldn't stand to lower myself by being around him. Then I left. Shortly after, his mom went to his room and saw the letter. She called him and read it to him over the phone. As he was crying, his mom told him that she didn't blame me and that he was an asshole. That was my most memorable breakup. Not even his mother felt sorry for him....

I've broke up with guys who were too nice... couldn't stand the constant flowers, or how they were happy to do anything that I wanted to do, or the way they would jump if I told them. If I wanted a relationship like that I'd buy a puppy!

How about, the female is sitting in her neighbours house sorting out a secret gift for her bloke. The bloke knocks on the door and asks the female nicely if she'd come and cook him some beans on toast with cheese. The female agrees and tells him she'll be down in five minutes. Half-an-hour later, the female goes home. The bloke ain't happy, an argument starts and he walks out... I can't eat beans on toast with cheese anymore.

When I was younger I broke up with guys because it said in my horoscope that I was going to meet someone special that week.

I broke up with a girl I was dating because I saw her cry. It was incredibly unattractive. Beautiful girl but when she cried her face contorted in such a way it magnified any little flaw she had. Felt like a dick about that one, she was an exceptional woman.

Another breakup was the first serious relationship in my 20's, we were very destructive together but the sex was magic, like heroin, it just kept bringing us back together. She got herself into some legal trouble so we moved to the other side of the country to avoid the situation. After a month of struggling through a horrible relationship in a city where we only had each other, I knew it had to end. I went out for a pack of cigarettes, checked into a motel and jumped on a flight the next day.

I didn't see her or speak to her for a year after. It was easier to do in the days before cell phones, pagers and email. Nothing was ever said but we both knew the way we ended it was the only way it would have stayed ended.

I broke up with a guy 'cause I didn't like him to begin with.

ha, imke.

HA.

I was 14, had no sense of self worth and people told me I should date him. "Okay!" He was totally into me, I didn't really like him. He annoyed me so much, eventually I had the guts to just.. dump him.

Then he went psycho, threatened me for awhile. Also claimed I have an angel's face, but the personality of the devil.

I broke up with a girl for having bad taste...bad taste that I couldn't override or influence.

It went down something like, "Look, it's not that I think your a bad person or anything, but all the rap music and that fact that you think "White Chicks" is a good movie...I can't bring myself to respect you, so it's only fair that you date someone more...um...on your level."

Her: "So you're saying I'm dumb?"

Me: "I'm saying there's a reason why your longest relationship was with a drug dealer."

Since we are now discussing WHY we broke up with folks, I broke up with a longterm livein girlfriend because 1) I could no longer take the inane talk. She just wasn't that bright. And 2) she developed a severe disinterest in monogamy. She went on to become a dead pornstar.

I broke up with someone for the most cliche'd reason. To be with someone else. My ex-boyfriend.
Ack- i've just realised I've done this twice actually, for the same ex-boyfriend. Broken record or what?

I once dumped someone because he was a habitual bad speller.

You mean, habitually bad speller ?

and i thought tuffy broke this thread. i mean, how does one beat a dead pornstar..

so, anymore stories ?

That too.

I broke up with a hot guy because of a certain sex act. Also because his car had racing stripes and the gear shift was a toy grenade.

hahahahaha facepalm. sounds like a douche bag.

He slept with your mum?

Nooo! My eyes, oooh no, my eyes.

A friend of mine saw his boyfriend in a hallway and said "I'm breaking up with you." then he said "Okay." and that's it. They just resumed their friendship instantly after that. Like it was the most normal thing on Earth.