Slut

I can't remember the last time I called someone a slut. Don't think I'd ever say it about a girl either, but yeah, if I would, it would be because she's screwing every person she meets.

Yes, it's hurtful. Even when you're not a slut in any way, knowing somebody would say that to you in order to hurt you, would suck.

Can't imagine anyone calling a man a slut and being serious about it (and the man that's being called a slut to take it seriously).

I agree with Imke. (Sorry, I have no opinions of my own).

Personally, slut is a very loose term for me (no pun intended).

I don't find it very offensive as much anymore because me and my friends use it so often. I wouldn't say it is a term of endearment though. We use it casually and tease each other about ho'ing around but we really don't think much of what we are really saying to each other.

I've only found being called a slut offensive if I didn't know the person and the tone it is being said in is a huge factor if I will be offended or not. You can just tell when someone is being hateful or trying to get under you skin. Overall I can't say I get too offended when being called a slut because I know I am not.

Also I think the whole double standard thing is put to play in this as well. It's okay for a man to sleep around but not a woman. I don't think it's fair to call a girl a slut for sleeping around if it's just harmless safe and fun sex. I will call a girl a slut though if she is purposefully throwing herself at taken men, and sleeping with several taken men on a regular basis. It's no different for a man, if he's screwing around with unavailable women on a regular basis I would say he's a slut.

All and all we are only human and we all make mistakes but there's a certain point where you have to draw the line.

It's unfair to say all women who sleep around are sluts because that's not true.
Because then you would have to say guys who sleep around are sluts instead of pimps or players.

I think if people choose to sleep around and no one is getting hurt then no one is a slut in the matter.

When people choose to sleep around with the intentions of hurting others then yes you're a slut.

Shall I be more redundant?

I dig what you say, Jazzy.

I find the term is less offensive as I get older, because mostly it's thrown around when someone is angry, or trying to be offensive. It seems to be the "go to" word when a person is unknowingly jealous and has no real reason for the jealousy. If I get called a slut and someone actually means it, it's only people who don't know me, or have made harsh judgments about me without ever actually sitting down in a one-on-one conversation to see if they're right.

I say "Slut" when I'm kidding around, mostly. I do say "I hope I don't look like a slut" or "I'm sure this makes me look like a slut", but really what I mean is: Someone is going to judge me based on what I say, or wear. And, so I don't give much merit to the term. Because is mostly only used by people who don't know you, or towards people you don't know very well. (Not always)

I just genuinely want to know when, why, how everyone uses the term.

I don't find it offensive, but some people do.

To me, I hear the word "slut" come out of a guy's mouth, it says more to me about him than the person he is referencing.

It's more often than not a deflection.

A lot of derogatory words have lost their impact. I can't remember actually ever calling anyone a slut. I had an ex who was obsessed that other people might think she was one though, ugh. If I'm going to attack someone verbally, I prefer to dismantle them from the ground up and leave them emotionally and psychologically scarred for years. Name calling just doesn't cut it. It strikes me as something high school kids do. Heh

To me it's always been a fairly throwaway term. I've never been offended by it because anyone who has ever accused me of being a slut, because it's the name people like to call girls when they're trying to offend or upset them. It's a glancing blow, particularly when the person doesn't know you at all and you can tell they're just deflecting or retaliating, which is how it's generally used.

Also this thread reminded me of this:

An old roommate of mine claimed that women fall into two categories: bitches and sluts.

A slut fucks everyone.

A bitch fucks everyone but you.

Of course, it's not true, but humorous nonetheless.

I don't remember ever calling a female a slut. I have adjectivized a few females as slutty, but the number of times it occurred would definitely be in the single digits. And it likely wasn't in their presence, if that matters.

As for 'morals'... I guess that depends on what you mean by that. As far as interpersonal morals go, so long as people are interacting voluntarily, they are not causing harm to others, which is a start. That's not to say everything you can do with yourself is 'moral', it's just not immoral.

But then we gotta define immoral. What I'm saying is, morally, it's none of my business, personal morals are the business of the individual, whether or not they feel that they themselves are leading a moral life.

I don't use it, but I imagine it's a term a girl uses on close friends and bitter enemies.

It kinda sucks because sure it's shameful for guys to sleep around (we call them douchebags-see? even there, the term is feminine) but it is a lot more shameful in society's eyes for women.

The word "slut" and its consequences are the reason I don't get laid enough.

Z, you ignorant slut!* the research forum should be used for research stuff you're writing. You could have put this in GD and just kept in the part about how you want to keep it a serious topic. Then anyone acting out of line you could easily have their posts deleted and maybe gotten them banned. But it's here now and i don't see any big whoop on moving it.

That all being said. I've always used "slut" as a weapon.
It's frowned upon to physically fight someone anymore, so you gotta use words to fight. "Slut" is one of the good ones. It's a good quick jab that you can throw at any time. Then you can throw a "fucking" in there in front of it and that a good left-right jab, uppercut combination. "Faggot" is a good one to. Very multi-purpose.

* I really hope that reference isn't so out-dated that it's unknown.

I don't seriously call anyone a slut.
What they do is their business, so if they want to fuck around, go for it.
I don't really care.
I do say "What a hoe" though, but not for their sexual things. If someone does something bitchy I call them a hoe. So I don't use it in the correct context. (I do know what whores/hoes/sluts are, and their differences)
My friends and I call eachother sluts, whores, assholes, bitches, hoes, douche bags etc. but as a friendly kind of thing. It's just a joke.
I have been called a slut/whore, though, because I don't consider sex a bad thing, unlike some people I know. Plus, rumors have been spread about me.

If you go around sleeping with a bunch of people just because, I reserve the right to call you a slut.

What does "just because" mean?

Because you're attracted to them?

Because you want notches on your bedpost?

There are many factors in "just because". And if you don't know someone well enough, then you can only assume to know why they're seemingly sleeping around.

I assume just because means, when sex means nothing.

People have different views on sex, but one is that it is something special to be treasured and savored with one whom you love.

this is what I mean about 'slut' not having any meaning as an insult really. It's too easy, and too easily tossed around.

ps. I got the reference

Wow, that's a really good point. That really didn't factor in to my thoughts but it makes sense.

I think I have a different view on sex than ever before. During my high school years I really did cherish the whole finding the right one to lose your virginity too. Then I graduated and it was getting harder for me to even care about finding the right person to share that moment with. At this point I don't think it was such a moral issue. That didn't mean I just went and had sex with anyone but it did mean that it wasn't a big deal if I didn't feel like this person was the one.

I think it is important to share that special moment with someone you care about but it's not always necessary. I do think it's important to share it with someone you trust and feel comfortable with though.

Sex is an important part of a relationship so I agree it shouldn't be treated lightly but because of it's importance in a relationship I also think it is very imperative that you experience more than one partner. It's nice to know what you like in the bedroom as well as in other aspects of the relationship. I know if the sex wasn't good I wouldn't be able to carry on in that relationship. I guess that may seem a little shallow but sex is such an amazing thing and it's even better when you are emotionally,mentally connected with the person. But when you have that physical connection as well sex can just blow your mind.

So yes sex is something to be treasured but personally it's also something to be explored. That's fine if you don't want to have casual sex but I think it's fairly healthy to have sex before marriage and with people you have grown to care about.

What I love about SLUT:

It's a guttural, vowel-y word that screws your face up in a wonderful, nasty way if you really wrap your mouth around it. It's just so...slutty.

What I don't love about SLUT:

The male/female dichotomy, which has been touched on already. Men get a high five for being slutty, women are tainted by being slutty. However, being slut no matter what gender you happen to be carries consequences. Someone always gets hurt eventually, even if they never admit it to another living soul.

This, definitely.

When sex is just sex and it's nothing more, and a person has a whole lot of that, I consider them a slut. I don't like it when guys do it either.

I never really considered the gender dichotomy to really apply for the word "slut." I'm all for everyone having as much or as little sex as they want. "Slut", for me, is reserved for girls that have sex indiscriminately, usually out of a place of pain or lack of self-respect. If I call a girl a slut, I pity her, and it has little to do with sex.

Controversial opinions:

1. People who seriously call other people sluts need some self-esteem lessons.

2. There are good reasons for being discriminate in your choice of partners, but the moral aspect should not be one of them, because most likely the "morality" will have been imposed by someone else.

3. People should stop resenting each other for their sexual behaviors. There are many worse things about humanity to hate.

Phil, I agree!

I don't really use the terms "Slut" anymore as everyone has their own morals and reasons for doing whatever they want, and who am I to judge anyone else really? I prefer not to pass any judgment on others as I have been quite a "Slut" in the past. In fact myself and an old friend of mine used to refer to ourselves a "Sluts". The only time I really said it to anyone to hut them was because I was angry with them because they cheated on me. Other than that the word really gets thrown around so much these days that it has very little power anymore and most people use it jokingly.

to me a slut is a person who seeks to be desired to even fatal ends , they seek to be lusted in every aspect they do they are narcissistic and self-centered simply because they can abuse others sexual identity against them

to technicolorxxx:
"lunatics can't feel the cold"
i ran into that logic while reading a bio about Dorthea Dix several years ago now. you probably already know of her. anyway, i just wanted to say i like your line.

OPPS. forgot the point of this thread.
SLUT:
the last time i can remember being called a slut was by a girl (we both were then) who came by my house late one evening with friends, probably. i don't know. she screamed from the car in my drive way "SSSSLLLLUUUUTTTT!!!!!!!" i was sad. my mother came to my bedroom to ask me about it. i can't remember what i told her. but i do remember why that girl called me a slut. her boyfriend had raped me at a party a couple days before. obviously i needed calling out on my badness.

the story doesn't really end there. i ignored the act best i could and went to the high school dance drunk anyway. she actually came up to me with a girlfriend and told me i needed to go outside with them ALONE. that's when i punched her in the face.

Only ever called one girl that directly, and it was upon request (along with every other filthy name) because she had a humiliation fetish. Made me uncomfortable at first — though easier because I barely knew her — but got results, and didn't carry over outside closed doors. Though not much else did, either, and not for very long.

this is so late, but i want to share it because i think it's funny. in The Road Cormac McCarthy has the man and son using a "slutlamp" to light their way to a better life.

I only ever called girls sluts when I was in high school. Never to their faces, though. I wasn't that kind of high school girl. It was just an easy way to feel better about myself in comparison to all the popular girls. I was also pretty religious then, and I valued purity and all that shit. I was pretty into the ides of sex, too, though, so that ended with a lot of conflicting thoughts.

After high school, though, I really started to think about what sex meant to me. Sex isn't just a physical thing shared between people; it's also a personal thing. furleyguy mentioned in an above post about a woman with a humiliation fetish, and that is exactly what I'm talking about. And really, just because she enjoys being called a slut or a bitch or a whore in one situation doesn't mean that she'll enjoy being called the same thing while she's walking down the street. It's how your psychology relates the word to the moment. The word becomes a part of the act of sex. The word is just empowering during sex. Elsewhere, it's just a derogatory term again.

Literally, though, a slut is just somebody who fucks a lot of people. But there's really no way to judge what that slut-making number is. Usually, it just depends on how many people you've fucked. If anyone's fucked more people than you, then they're obviously a slut.

I'm glad this thread is still going. I really am curious to the ideas people, especially women, hold towards the term.

Sounds like me actually.

i would call my partner a slut (and a liar too while throwing him out the door) if we were in an exclusive relationship and he betrayed that by stepping out. and if the person they fucked knew we were exclusive and did it anyway, they are a slut too. if the other didn't know about the commitment, i wouldn't hold it against her.

The word itself doesn't mean anything. I've used it a million different ways.

What's up slut? (Greetings, friend.)
Is this too slutty? (Does this outfit make me look easy or cheap and easy?)
You're such a slut. (You have terrible decision making skills, but I love you anyway.)
You slut. (You are a person I detest but can't think of a better word to describe you at the moment. It's been since, like, highschool since I used it this way.)

It's all about connotation and inflection. Honestly, if my arch nemesis was to call me out and call me a slut, I wouldn't be upset. I wouldn't feel sorry for them, either. I would acknowledge that the absolute worst thing they could think of to say to me was just a giant lie.

I had a girl call me fat one time and I was like, "What? SERIOUSLY? You've known me how many years and the worst thing you can say is that I'm FAT?!? .... Well thank God for your powers of observance, because if you hadn't told me, I'd have never known!"

Fuckin' slut.

Right after this commercial.

I was, in my distant past, a slut.

And a whore, but that is a different story.

Literary slut?

I sometimes call good looking tall guys man whores or sluts but that is only because I have so much self hatred that I need to do something to bring these God like creatures down onto a level that makes sense to me.

I've never called a girl a slut though. I dunno, I don't think I've ever called a girl something hateful other than bitch. And that was a rare instance of hot white rage.

But yeah... I call guys sluts to tone down my own insecurities. They generally are straight and take it as a compliment.
I guess to a normal guy it is taken as having a normal sex life.

As far as me being called a slut, it is hurtful when I hear someone say it. Especially when a guy says it because it's generally being said in a possessive manner and I feel like I am being treated as a pass around boy.
Plus it brings up old feelings that I'd rather not discuss here.
But when a girl tells me it, I don't know why, but it really doesn't effect me much.

I am very much against the double standard that guys can do whomever they want whenever they want and when a girl exhibits this behavior she is looked down upon. Whenever I hear a girl openly talk about her sex life and unabashedly details the many men she has been with and has no fear about it, I dunno. I sort of admire that kind of honesty.
Like... I know girls like sex too other wise guys would never get lucky. And me being the person I am, I get privy to a lot of intimate discussions on the subject that goes on when girls get together. But it takes a strong woman to say that she is a human being with physical and emotional needs and she will get them by means on her own terms in a public setting.

I hope this post hasn't gone too far?

Not at all.

I was just having a discussion with my mom about the term "slut" actually. I was curious to know her take on it.

We discussed that it's a term mostly used by women to describe other women. The term is a derogatory term meant to shame. Everyone seems to say that a slut is a woman who sleeps around a lot, but then you have to ask yourself how much you've slept around and whether that can constitute sluttish behavior.

And, do you actually know another person has been sleeping around, or how many people they've been with? How do you know? Rumors? Assumptions? And who cares if someone spreads like peanut butter? Unless they fucked your boyfriend then there's no real reason to be offended by another persons sexual habits.

I just don't understand the need to call someone a slut once you're an adult, because it's only used to make a woman feel stupid and shamed into submission. It's a term coined to hurt someone you might feel intimidated by and once you get past feeling a sense of shame when the word is pointed in your direction then it loses all power and becomes null and void.

This post was too long, but that was the jist of the conversation with my mom. We both agreed that the term has no real meaning to us.

But, my mom did say she's been called a slut.

I used to be flattered when people called me a manwhore, and then I realized they weren't trying to flatter me, and now nobody calls me a manwhore anyway because I am neither man nor whore. Mostly not man, though.

Apparently everyone here is a "Slut" in some way, shape or form.

Life is too short not to enjoy your body. You only get one as far as I know so I say there is no harm in a little diddly dallying.

HAhaha you would diddly dally! haha

Ted Hughes is a slut.
i loved his Iron Giant.

Honestly, I don't think a slut exists. In our tight ass PC culture people think that if a girl has more than say five or six sexual partners or has a couple one night stands she would be considered a slut. But it's all puritanical bullshit in my eyes. It's not a secret that sex is fun. I don't believe any actions by a person could define them as a slut. It's more of what is acceptable for society and if you stray from that acceptability you are ostracized or criticized or both.

"Tralala was 15 the first time she was laid. There was no real passion. Just diversion. She hungout in the Greeks with the other neighborhood kids. Nothin to do. Sit and talk. Listen to the jukebox. Drink coffee. Bum cigarettes. Everything a drag. She said yes. In the park. 3 or 4 couples finding their own tree and grass. Actually she didn’t say yes. She said nothing. Tony or Vinnie or whoever it was just continued. They all met later at the exit. They grinned at each other. The guys felt real sharp. The girls walked in front and talked about it. They giggled and alluded. Tralala shrugged her shoulders. Getting laid was getting laid..."
last exit to brooklyn
selby

Me giving it up too early because I thought he'd like me better if I did so has just recently led to a mighty big hole in my heart...

Then you've learned your lesson. Only have sex using pre-existing holes. Creating new ones leaves you with a big ol' mess.