Relationship stories

I met a girlfriend at an art gallery opening. She worked at the gallery. At first I thought she was amazing but she turned out to be a litte too methodical.

In college I had a girlfriend for a short time. We went for some drunken bowling and ended up wrestling in the lane. It was great. I miss her. I gave her a VD.

my ex wouldn't give me flowers cause I neglect them and they die
he gave me a cactus instead

i thought that was sweet, cause it showed that he knew me

yeah, i'm easy to impress

i once had a stalker at school, he came to my work (computer labs) and asked me out on valentine's day. he had figured out my name from when I answered the phones, which kind of creeped me out. when i politely rejected him he caused a huge scene, yelling at me, and stomped out of the room.

he returned almost every day after that for two months and asked me out almost every day after that, he even wrote a note "why won't you let me take you to dinner? am i ugly or something? circle: yes or no" EDIT: note - i attend and work at a university, not an elementary school

One day, he asked to borrow a pair of scissors... when he came to return them he violently snapped them in my face asking me if i wanted a haircut - adrenaline kicked it and i knocked the scissors out of his hand and they went flying. he stomped away yelling at me, and later popped his head in and said "sorry about the scissor incident, i'll know better next time" and he hasn't returned since.
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i also had a boyfriend with a bad habit of smoking weed. now, i'm a very liberal person, but i say this is a bad habit because he was graduated frmo highschool, living with his parents, without a job, not going to college, and buying at least 40 dollars of it a day, smoking at least 8 bowls a day. as i type this out, i think, wow... how did i ever stay with him that long - he was a manipulative son of a bitch.

my brother had this girlfriend for like 3 weeks. then she just stopped talking to him. and all of a sudden her friend started calling him drunk and talking about all kinds of crazy kinky sex shit. if he didnt pick up it, she left messages on his phone. it got to the point where he almost called the cops on her because she wouldnt leave him alone. she made a myspace account for him. she like found out where he works and shit. it was really stalkerish. it went on for about 4 months. now she calls my brothers friend every once in a while. fucking weird ass girl.

I had a girlfriend who always used to ask me what words meant. She would call in the middle of the day and say, "What does "haughty" mean?" or "Is it "I drank a lot last night," or "I drunk a lot last night."
She slept with someone else while she was on a trip in Mexico, so that was pretty much the end of that. But we were sort of still friends and one time she called me up and asked what promiscuous meant.
"What?" I said
"Promiscuous."
I said, "Are you serious?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"No reason. It means you sleep around."
"Oh," she said. "Okay."

I don't know how much that story will help, but maybe there'll be some element. You never know.

How early in their lives do these people meet? If they're but kids, a fellow I recently dumped and I used to walk down the street creating these characters for people we encountered. For example, Misty the Fishnet Escapee who ran away from her cage at city hall, lived underground and sang Tom Waits songs with an organ. Or Ray, the dynamite-fishing paramedic. There were lots of others. We could go on for hours about these people. Then it turned out I didn't actually like the guy...at all, really, I just liked making up the stories.