Having a miscarriage

Check out Clown Girl. There's a lot about miscarriages there. At least in the second chapter. (I didn't get past that due to the rescheduling of my [B]To Read[/B] list.)

My aunt had a miscarriage. It can happen at any stage in the pregnancy for a number of reasons and the physical complications really depend on both the reason and how far into the pregnancy. Really I think it's all about how it happened before you could go into details on pain and the sort. I'd assume it'd be different to pass a four-day foetus during menstruation that it would a car accident terminating an eight-month long pregnany.

Two words: still birth.

[QUOTE=chad orr;1010930]Two words: still birth.[/QUOTE]

Please be more specific.

I don't really want to talk much about it. It's sick, birthing a dead baby.

Here's a story:

A slutty friend of mine makes sweet love to his girlfriend. Six months pass and she's having unbearable stomach cramps. She goes to the doctor to find that she's had a miscarriage but the fetus didn't pass out of her. Lodged up under her ribs was a five month old fetus--little fingers, tiny toes...

They had to go in and surgically remove it.

well, thers not much info i can ffer that has not been covered already, i supose.
you can iscarry at any pont during preganancy for any number of reasns, and yes, some tend to be more painful than others. during my first round of chemo, i became preggers, and lost the baby in the first month due to the poisons that were pumping through me. it wasnt very painful, and i suffered little etional damage because of it.
that said:
i had a friend who was pregnant with twins and miscarried ONE in her seventh month. it seemed to be very painful and bloody. the other twin was removed via c-section and lived in an incubator for several months. he is now three and very happy. his mom was unable to walk or do anything for a coul eweeks, until her body healed.

so, yeah ,i guess this probably was not all that helpful, huh?
i cant magine that any sort of passing a body through your vag feels good.

Speaking of still births, I think the oft-overlooked suicidal poet, Enjamin Structure, said it best:

[QUOTE]
What to charge this delicate customer
Who took a room and never checked out?
The bed was made, the blinds pulled down,
The thermostat at maximum; yet
No one answers reception’s calls
And the bathrobe still hangs on the wall.
What to tell the sleeping host,
To whom this visitor means the most,
Whose sleep will soon be ruptured
By cold equipment and the sorry news?
Let’s hope our stillborn guest,
Whose name was not yet worn,
At least enjoyed the dream.[/QUOTE]

I can honestly say I don't know much about miscarriages except that they seem to be relatively common. My mom had one, well two really. There are some random diseases, like trisomy (sp?) 18 I think it is...I might be off on the number that can cause a still birth.

From what I have read the pain is like really really bad period pain.

I know someone who has had two now, the last one was very recent.

Turns out her womb is actually on the small side, so she goes into labor prematurely and then there are complications and bleeding and you know the story from there. I don't have a ton of those details, since I don't know them to well.

The reason I post this is because what they are going to try with attempt #3 sounds really fucking crazy.

[I][U][B]When she gets pregnant again, after a few weeks, they will literally sew her shut. [/B][/U][/I]

Yes. That's right, they are going to sew the vag or labia or something shut, to keep the baby from coming out. I'm honestly not making this up. We were out drinking one night when the husband confessed all of this to me. I figured he was drunk, but it came up the next day .. a totally sober conversation, with the husband and a nurse friend we both know. The nurse said this was not super common, but it happens.

I mean, wow.

[QUOTE=jane s.;1010924]Has anyone here ever had one, or had a partner that's had one?

My specific questions are more about the physical process and less about the emotional effects...like, how far along would one normally happen? What is the pain like? Did you go to a doctor? Etc.

I realize that this is a very sensitive topic, so if you have information that you don't really want to share in the public forum, you can PM me or catch me in the chat room sometime.[/QUOTE]
My wife and I miscarried but she was only seven or eight weeks along so it wasn't too bad. She basically had some cramps and bleeding and the doctor told us that she had a miscarriage. I'm not trying to down play it but it didn't seem too bad for her. Now I will say that for a woman to have one later in pregnancy would be a really bad situation and I feel for all of those who have.

I would also like to say that a few months after we miscarried we got pregnant again...with twins. They will be six months old on the 19th. Two of the cutest boys you'll ever see. I guess my point is, if you or someone you know has a miscarriage, all is not lost. Just get back on it and things will be fine.

I had a miscarriage once. I was only about ~3 months along. It felt like my stomach was all twisted up in knots. Very painful cramps. Lots of bleeding. Emotionally it wasn't that bad for me because I wasn't ready to be a parent. I was actually a little relived.
PM me if you need anymore information. I really don't mind talking about it.

Both of my sisters have had miscarriages.

I think it is 1 in 4 women have miscarriages.

My first sister had a 12 week old in her tummy and it died, since it was party developed, she had to go to the doctor and get some shit scraped out of her, I didn't ask questions. My other sister just had a miscarriage but the baby was barely developed. Of course its tough having a miscarraige, but it is somewhat common.

As a sidenote, my sisters are 30, from my dads previous marriage. They aren't 16 year-old sluts.

I'd like to think they happen for a reason.

[QUOTE=DAN9108;1020106]Both of my sisters have had miscarriages.

I think it is 1 in 4 women have miscarriages.

My first sister had a 12 week old in her tummy and it died, since it was party developed, she had to go to the doctor and get some shit scraped out of her, I didn't ask questions. My other sister just had a miscarriage but the baby was barely developed. Of course its tough having a miscarraige, but it is somewhat common.

As a sidenote, my sisters are 30, from my dads previous marriage. They aren't 16 year-old sluts.

I'd like to think they happen for a reason.[/QUOTE]

Sorry, Dan, I'm really not trying to be funny but I'm a little confused. Do you mean you'd like to think miscarriages happen for a reason? Or ... sluts? Seriously, because don't most 'sluts' come from homes where they don't get enough attention? Sorry again, I'm just dumb.

My mom had a miscarriage. Well, more than one but I was only alive for one. She had a procedure, I believe it's called a D & C? I'm not sure, but like many others; she said she had what felt like intense menstrual cramps. Technically, miscarriages should not affect the ability to carry in the future, but my mom has been pregnant at two different times in her life, by two different men. They said, with the first man, it wasn't her fault but it was likely his sperm wasn't going to attach again - low sperm count. (Sorry if I'm offending anyone - although I seriously doubt it on these boards.) The second time both she and the man were fine but she's never been able to carry a baby to term. But she's never been diagnosed as barren either. Sorry, maybe that doesn't make any sense, basically the doctors weren't able to give her a reason why she didn't seem to make it past the first trimester. Maybe that's common, I'm not sure.

My wife had a miscarriage I think it was 5-6 weeks into a pregnancy, the fetus just looked like a small dot on the ultrasound, no distinguishing features at that resolution. But she had problems with blood clots, lots of cramping, bleeding, they ended up having to do a D&C to remove the blood clots and stop the bleeding. I think the farther it is along, the more likely there are to be complications and pain associated with it. Overall, it is a lot more common than you might think, because people don't usually tell you the odds are 25% beforehand. Medical professionals seemed to me to be kind of blase about it, like "Yeah, it happens a lot, get over it." People who have been through it themselves maybe it's too uncomfortable to talk about it.

I'm not sure what the cut off is, but up to some point it is medically referred to as a "spontaneous abortion" can be nature's way of stopping a pregnancy where there is some serious genetic problem, like missing key enzyme, or problem with internal organs. It's possible to have one of those that just seems like your regular menses.

There is a book you might check out for research, I think it's called "Preventing Miscarriage" not sure how useful it is for what you need.

I can talk about this now, but before it was tough.
My wife had a miscarriage in Jan 2006. She was right at 3 months. She had some spotting a week before, and we went to the doctor right after that and everything was fine. The next weeks appointment, which was the normal appointment, thats when everything was wrong. She had the DNC two days later and it was tough for us emotionally. But from what I was told and the literature they gave us (dont they always have some type of literature to give) actually three out of four women have miscarriges at some point, but most dont even know because they didnt know they were pregnant so they think they are having a heavier than normal menstraul cycle.
Three months tends to run on the late side of a miscarrige because most happen at around 4 weeks. What the doctors also say is that from their studies, the miscarrige occurs more than likely because the child had some sort of defect and would'nt have made it to term anyways. Its like the bodies way saying the baby wasnt healthy.

Well, I honestly know too many women who have had miscarriages. Like Ross just said, it's 3 in 4 who have one at some point. There are many reasons, but my sister in law just miscarried because the fetus was missing the 19th and ...6th maybe.. chromosomes and would therefore not be able to survive anyway. Miscarriage is nature's form of abortion when the child would not have been able to develop to it's potential. Like people have said, there's either full chromosomes missing, or an organ like the liver doesn't develop, well a woman's body is really attuned to those things I guess because it makes it "easier" on her by releasing the fetus before it develops even further possibly endangering her life as well. Some of the stories told sound horrible though, when the woman was in late term. I can't even imagine that.

I think the worst story I heard about was what people typically refer to as a "stillbirth" rather than miscarriage. The husband and wife were co-workers and the husband told me the story. His wife wasn't full term, but it was close enough like 7 months that the baby could have survived if they had done a C-section, and the baby was perfectly healthy up to that point based on the ultrasound. The baby got strangled by the umbilical cord and died.

My own daughter was delivered by emergency C-section because they were concerned about the potential for that very thing. Around 8 months, my wife didn't have enough amniotic fluid aka. "oligo" so they tried to induce then ended up just going to C-section when that wasn't working. Fortunately, my wife and daughter were being monitored very closely because my wife has Sjogren's syndrome with antinuclear antibodies, so from the start they were concerned about the potential for blood clots in the umbilical cord, or that our daughter could have a "heart block" due to the antibodies. Luckily, our healthcare provided coverage for this "high risk" pregnancy, so we were also seeing a "high risk" ob-gyn, and also a pediatric cardiologist who monitored the baby's heart in utero, plus by the end they were doing ultrasounds every week, then every other day. And my wife was giving herself (painful!) heparin injections every day and later taking steroids for this very nasty rash and to speed the baby's lung development.

People don't understand why we haven't had another baby, can't imagine how nerve racking those final weeks and days were.

my girlfriend had a miscarriage last year.. she was 7 weeks pregnant and hadn't told me she was pregnant on account that we'd just broke up 2 weeks prior...

i only found out the day after the miscarriage when she came into work looking white as a ghost.
we got back together and i evenually found out that it was because she'd slept with another guy at work... apaprently sex within the first 6-12 weeks (to the best of my memory) can bring on a miscarriage.
that's not something i ever wanted to hear.

My wife had a miscarriage. She was around 3 months in and she was scheduled for OB/GYN visit. It was our second child. As always, I went to the appointment, and the doctor could not find a heartbeat. He assured us everything was okay, but my wife took on a very somber expression. He referred us to an ultrasound office. We went there the next day before both of us had to report for work. They did their thing and told us to check with our OB/GYN within the week.

I tried to write the rest of the story, but I could not. In a nutshell - she bled and I drove her to the hospital - DNC - released.

IM me if you want to hear details - I just can't post it here. BTW a dentist is involved.