British Slang?

About the whole "apples and pears" thing...

You do get a lot of Cockney slang flinging about the place, but you're unlikely to hear that phrase anywhere other than on Eastenders (dour British soap) or deep in the heart of Bermondsey where the old Cockney sparras are still chirping and keepin it real. Awright!

Basically - don't use it in a story if you want to sound at all convincing as a Londoner.

But then, you might be writing a character as a "Mockney Twat" - and that's a different kettle of fish, as the saying goes.

she has a face like a slapped arse he he love that one.(shes ugly)
she has the skin of her arse on her forehead(shes angry)
her mouth was as dry as an arabs dap lol lol lol daps are sneakers by the way aka trainers

My friend's grandmother always used to say 'Shittin' Arabs!!' whenever she dropped something, heh.

my gran (the one that speaks english) she always says funny things like shit a brick, and fuck a duck, when she messes up.

On this last trip to England I heard, [COLOR=Orange]“really creased me up,” [/COLOR]a lot, which I took to mean laughed hard, or found really funny. If that’s the case, Gimp is all about creasing and folding, crumpling and crimpling, chewing pulp and spitting out parchment.

[QUOTE=Dr.Jekyll&Mr.Hyde]On this last trip to England I heard, [COLOR=Orange]“really creased me up,” [/COLOR]a lot, which I took to mean laughed hard, or found really funny. If that’s the case, Gimp is all about creasing and folding, crumpling and crimpling, chewing pulp and spitting out parchment.[/QUOTE]

Yup. Though gimp is a general insult for anyone deemed to be inferior like.

Use the word cunt a lot.
Because unless you're some upper-middle class girl who enjoys horse riding, then you're going to use the word every day, or hear it be used anyway.

And I'm pretty sure bloody doesn't mean fuck.
It depends alot of what region you want the woman to come from though. Is she from down south or up north?

[QUOTE=corellion]Yup. Though [B][I]gimp [/I][/B]is a general insult for anyone deemed to be inferior like.
Use the word cunt a lot.
Because unless you're some upper-middle class girl who enjoys horse riding, then you're going to use the word every day, or hear it be used anyway.

And I'm pretty sure bloody doesn't mean fuck.
It depends alot of what region you want the woman to come from though. Is she from down south or up north?[/QUOTE]
HEHEEHhehehe.. i was talking about RiddleGimp:D My way of saying he's one funny bastard.

I don't know if this has been mentioned or if the americans around here know this but in Britain the word "yank" or "yankie" refers to any american, regardless of whether they're from the north or the south.

[QUOTE=Dr.Jekyll&Mr.Hyde;733981]I’m writing a play. In one scene an American man and English woman are having a row. I need some gritty uncensored British slang or dialect. I remember some stuff, but I’m sure there’s much better material from the many sarcastic wise cracking brits we have here. Please give the meaning if it’s really cryptic. Better yet, use it in a sentence or piece of dialogue. thankyouthankyou...[/QUOTE]
Go to a British website with forums like NME and talk to them. I got confused after five minutes. They're so much fun and I think you will find what you are looking for.

what you really need to bring out some authenticity is to decide which area of britain the character comes from, then you'll need to pick up on the accents. although it would be a great risk with american audiences (it'll sound really wierd) brits would love it because they would see that you've done your homework.

anyway less preaching (sorry) here's my two pence in yorkshire slang

scrat end - dickhead "give it back you fucking scrat end!"
boshtie - wicked/great "it were proper boshtie"
boshed - punched ". . . and then he just boshed him right there!"
a up - hello
now then - hello (usually to someone you know)
gripper - hard man "i tried to get away but he were a fucking gripper"
owt - anything "hello mate, are you up to owt?"
nowt - nothing "nowt at the moment"

thats all i can think of right now, but if you need more northen slang then i'd suggest you look for the works of patrick stewart, he's made a living out of being a yorkshireman in hollywood haha

Benji

[QUOTE=Vendetta;734674]Here are some good ones:

Miffler - One who steals from fruit stalls, very offensive.
Gingham - slang for someone who likes to welch on bets and such.
Bathtub - slang for a woman's secret area
Extractor fan - A gentleman's throbbing appendage[/QUOTE]

No offense to anyone, but that last one had me rolling, lol.
Am I missing something?
:wtf1:

I made those up.

Some of the ones that Benji guy mentioned made me rofl because I never hear anyone who's not someone's grandad saying them. You gotta get the phonetic spellings in there so's people know how to pronounce them, like "naaaah then" or "Ey up"

[QUOTE=harlaquin_girl;837795]my gran (the one that speaks english) she always says funny things like shit a brick, and fuck a duck, when she messes up.[/QUOTE]

I've heard terms like these all my life: "Shit a brick" and "fuck a duck." Also, "Built like a brick shit house." These cliches might all have British origin, but they've traveled well and far. The regional dialects of the Appalachian mountains probably preserve some old Britishisms better than any other region in the United States. People of my grandparents generation regularly used phrases like "over yonder" (for 'over there') and exclamations like, "'pon my honor!" ('Upon my honour' - swearing an oath).

Christian and dignified, hesitant to curse, especially in front of youngsters, some of their choicer slang is probably lost to time, but one of my grandmothers was known to call someone she had especial contempt for an "egg-sucking dog." I can't imagine the Brits doing any better than that. Of course, it's a rural expression and harkens back to farm life, where a contemptible mutt might actually raid the chicken coup and get caught in the sucking.