Author needs OUTSPOKEN male feedback for book research
I'm looking for male volunteers interested in helping with research regarding "Everything Every Man Should Ever Know".
Requirements I'm looking for:
Sex: Male
Age: 18 - 100
Marital Status: Any
Children: With or without kids
Residence: Any
Race: Any
Volunteers MUST:
1. Be willing to fill out detailed research surveys.
2. Be interviewed by phone.
3. Give examples from their own life.
4. Be truthful and honest.
5. Be opinionated
6. Be outspoken.
7. Be unfiltered.
Please take a look at the "Sample/Teaser" survey for the project posted below. If this sounds like something you would enjoy participating in, email me for more info.
“Life Lessons of a Single Father to Be”
Research Survey
I'm a happily married, stay at home dad with two sons. We always deal with "guy stuff" the best we can while still staying inside "Mom's Guidelines". So I've decided to break the rules and write a book for every man told through the eyes of a single father-to-be. I'm doing research for my new book. I need A LOT of straightforward input from only men. I'm hoping for tons of testosterone fueled, unapologetic, chauvinistic male views and ideas on the subjects. I want you to pretend that your wife/girlfriend isn't holding your testicles hostage in her purse right next to her lipstick and tampons. Just answer these as if you and your son are the only two people around... it's the only way to get the honest answers and input I need. As soon as you can get this info to me the faster I can start working on the book, "Life Lessons of a Single Father to Be".
1. If you have or might have a son, what advice would you give him if your significant other couldn't stop you.
2. What do you wish someone would have told you growing up? (if you talk about it you can start to heal)
3. What personal hygiene help/advice would have helped you avoid embarrassment?
4. What sex advice? (good, bad and coyote ugly)
5. What knowledge can you pass along about the "fairer" sex? (shouldn't our sons benefit from the decades of trial and ERROR we suffered through for thinking that women actually think, act and respond like the ones in porn?)
These are just a few questions to let you know what I’m looking for. The book will be a complete manual filled with the untold “secrets” for every man, not just the unborn child in the book. So I would love to hear all of your stories, ideas, opinions and nightmares that will help turn this into the FIRST & ONLY handbook/manual needed for every single guy. All information gathered will be kept anonymous so you can feel free to unburden it all.
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This topic just about embodies every single thing that is wrong with families (society) today.
I disagree completely. I think the quality of parenting, or rather the lack thereof is more to blame. You can look at this in a positive light or a negative light. It's up to you. Either way this isn't relevant to the topic at hand.
If you're a guy, there's probably some point in your adolescent years where dad took you aside and had a 'don't tell your mother' moment, if not several. I don't see this as a bad thing, if done right. PM me and I'll give you my views.
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.
~The Zen of Sarcasm
If you're a guy, there's probably some point in your adolescent years where dad took you aside and had a 'don't tell your mother' moment, if not several. I don't see this as a bad thing, if done right. PM me and I'll give you my views.
I disagree with this. There's no reason to have a "Don't Tell Your Mother/Father" conversations at all. It suggests that men and women are at odds with each in some kind of essential way. It also suggests lying to one parent is okay or keeping secrets from your husband/wife is natural in marriage.
I think it's healthier if a parent speaks candidly to their child about anything privately without the condition that they don't tell the other parent. It doesn't matter which parent or what the subject. I think a child should feel comfortable speaking with either parent about any subject and shouldn't have the pressure of keeping a secret from one of them on behalf of the other.
In my experience that type of thing is more to "protect" the mother from worry.
It's things like "Here, don't tell your mother I let a 9 year old drive the car in this field." or "Don't tell your mom that we were picking up snakes by their tails and tossing them at each other."
If you're a guy, there's probably some point in your adolescent years where dad took you aside and had a 'don't tell your mother' moment, if not several. I don't see this as a bad thing, if done right. PM me and I'll give you my views.
I disagree with this. There's no reason to have a "Don't Tell Your Mother/Father" conversations at all. It suggests that men and women are at odds with each in some kind of essential way. It also suggests lying to one parent is okay or keeping secrets from your husband/wife is natural in marriage.
I think it's healthier if a parent speaks candidly to their child about anything privately without the condition that they don't tell the other parent. It doesn't matter which parent or what the subject. I think a child should feel comfortable speaking with either parent about any subject and shouldn't have the pressure of keeping a secret from one of them on behalf of the other.
I disagree with THIS. I don't talk to my mother about certain things. It's not that he's suggesting that you keep secrets, because mom will most likely know that it was talked about. Point is, there are some things that men talk about, and there are some things that women talk about. I don't give a fuck about your periods and menopause. That's a lady thing. I don't talk to my mom about periods or menopause, or taking a poop. Keep that to yourself. And I don't talk to her about sex. Comfort talking about ANY subject is not going to happen, and it's sill to think it will.
It's not about opposition, it's about decency. A 'don't tell your mother' moment is not necessarily about something as simple as sex. It could be more than that.
What I meant probably didn't come out correctly in that statement.
I fully expect my husband to have more than one of those talks with all three of our sons (he has already had a few with the oldest), as I will have the female versions of the talks with our daughter- the what it means to be woman talk.
But the idea that there would be things he wouldn't be willing to tell me that he told our sons is disturbing. I'd hope he is teaching them respect for themselves and others, the only reason he couldn't tell me is if he was telling them detrimental things.
It is the idea in this topic that if a man isn't chauvanistic about his manhood than his woman has emasculated him. And the idea that every wife is
holding [her husbands] testicles hostage in her purse right next to her lipstick and tampons
You don't have to be a dick to be a strong man, neither does a woman have to be a bitch to be a strong woman.
anyway, I'll stay out of the topic now, as I have nothing actually on subject to add.
If you're a guy, there's probably some point in your adolescent years where dad took you aside and had a 'don't tell your mother' moment, if not several. I don't see this as a bad thing, if done right. PM me and I'll give you my views.
I disagree with this. There's no reason to have a "Don't Tell Your Mother/Father" conversations at all. It suggests that men and women are at odds with each in some kind of essential way. It also suggests lying to one parent is okay or keeping secrets from your husband/wife is natural in marriage.
I think it's healthier if a parent speaks candidly to their child about anything privately without the condition that they don't tell the other parent. It doesn't matter which parent or what the subject. I think a child should feel comfortable speaking with either parent about any subject and shouldn't have the pressure of keeping a secret from one of them on behalf of the other.
I disagree with THIS. I don't talk to my mother about certain things. It's not that he's suggesting that you keep secrets, because mom will most likely know that it was talked about. Point is, there are some things that men talk about, and there are some things that women talk about. I don't give a fuck about your periods and menopause. That's a lady thing. I don't talk to my mom about periods or menopause, or taking a poop. Keep that to yourself. And I don't talk to her about sex. Comfort talking about ANY subject is not going to happen, and it's sill to think it will.
It's not about opposition, it's about decency. A 'don't tell your mother' moment is not necessarily about something as simple as sex. It could be more than that.
"Don't tell your mother" means keeping a secret from your mother.
Just because you don't feel that you can talk to your mother about certain things doesn't mean that other guys feel the same and it's silly for you to claim that as a fact.
"Don't tell your mother" means keeping a secret from your mother.
I can agree with that, but I think you take it too seriously.
Just because you don't feel that you can talk to your mother about certain things doesn't mean that other guys feel the same and it's silly for you to claim that as a fact.
I was hardly claiming it as fact, but I'll keep in mind that you know more about being a man than a man does. Just in case this ever comes up again.
And Pepper, I agree with you that lack of overbearing macho = powerless and pussy whipped
And Pepper, I agree with you that lack of overbearing macho = powerless and pussy whipped
Hey!! That's not what I said! 
"Don't tell your mother" means keeping a secret from your mother.
I can agree with that, but I think you take it too seriously.
Just because you don't feel that you can talk to your mother about certain things doesn't mean that other guys feel the same and it's silly for you to claim that as a fact.
I was hardly claiming it as fact, but I'll keep in mind that you know more about being a man than a man does. Just in case this ever comes up again.
And Pepper, I agree with you that lack of overbearing macho = powerless and pussy whipped
I think it is serious in that parents teach their kids what a healthy relationship should be, and to me that's a respectful, open relationship without lying.
It's curious that you think I'm claiming to know more than you do about being a man. Where did that come from? You're telling me my opinion is silly because I think that children ideally should be able to speak candidly to either parent about anything. Your experience is not the last word just because you can't talk to your mother about certain things.
And Pepper, I agree with you that lack of overbearing macho = powerless and pussy whipped
Hey!! That's not what I said! :P
WAIT! I know that's not what you said. haha, I forgot to put the / in there!
lack of overbearing macho =/= powerless and pussy whipped. Fix'd
"Don't tell your mother" means keeping a secret from your mother.
I can agree with that, but I think you take it too seriously.
Just because you don't feel that you can talk to your mother about certain things doesn't mean that other guys feel the same and it's silly for you to claim that as a fact.
I was hardly claiming it as fact, but I'll keep in mind that you know more about being a man than a man does. Just in case this ever comes up again.
And Pepper, I agree with you that lack of overbearing macho = powerless and pussy whipped
I think it is serious in that parents teach their kids what a healthy relationship should be, and to me that's a respectful, open relationship without lying.
It's curious that you think I'm claiming to know more than you do about being a man. Where did that come from? You're telling me my opinion is silly because I think that children ideally should be able to speak candidly to either parent about anything. Your experience is not the last word just because you can't talk to your mother about certain things.
Don't worry about it. It makes sense in my head.
They are, really, and there's no way to sugarcoat it. Are there exceptions? Yes, but few and far between.
Any singular group dynamic (it's a ____ thing, you wouldn't understand) exists. The sooner people learn about it, the better.
Unless the dad in question is saying "don't tell mom you just saw me giving it to my secretary over my desk", "Don't tell your mom about this" usually means "here's a guy's take on life. You can get her opinion on this, but I know your she'll probably throw a shit fit and make a huge deal out of nothing, so let's just not bring it up". Is it keeping a secret? Yeah. Is it teaching your son that sometimes there are things you might feel like telling the world about, things your guy friends would laugh about, but probably shouldn't mention to the significant woman in your life? Yeah.
They are, really, and there's no way to sugarcoat it. Are there exceptions? Yes, but few and far between.
Any singular group dynamic (it's a ____ thing, you wouldn't understand) exists. The sooner people learn about it, the better.
Unless the dad in question is saying "don't tell mom you just saw me giving it to my secretary over my desk", "Don't tell your mom about this" usually means "here's a guy's take on life. You can get her opinion on this, but I know your she'll probably throw a shit fit and make a huge deal out of nothing, so let's just not bring it up". Is it keeping a secret? Yeah. Is it teaching your son that sometimes there are things you might feel like telling the world about, things your guy friends would laugh about, but probably shouldn't mention to the significant woman in your life? Yeah.
I don't think they are are at odds. People are people and making a fuss over supposed differences just perpetuates them.
Men can have special bonding type experiences with their male children without undermining their wives and vice-versa. The "don't tell" aspect of it is what undermines the other parent and teaches a child that lying in a relationship is okay. It's not. I don't believe in brutal honesty at all costs, and I think that knowing when not to share is a valuable skill, but it's not taught by creating distrust.
They are, really, and there's no way to sugarcoat it. Are there exceptions? Yes, but few and far between.
Any singular group dynamic (it's a ____ thing, you wouldn't understand) exists. The sooner people learn about it, the better.
Unless the dad in question is saying "don't tell mom you just saw me giving it to my secretary over my desk", "Don't tell your mom about this" usually means "here's a guy's take on life. You can get her opinion on this, but I know your she'll probably throw a shit fit and make a huge deal out of nothing, so let's just not bring it up". Is it keeping a secret? Yeah. Is it teaching your son that sometimes there are things you might feel like telling the world about, things your guy friends would laugh about, but probably shouldn't mention to the significant woman in your life? Yeah.
I don't think they are are at odds. People are people and making a fuss over supposed differences just perpetuates them.
Men can have special bonding type experiences with their male children without undermining their wives and vice-versa. The "don't tell" aspect of it is what undermines the other parent and teaches a child that lying in a relationship is okay. It's not. I don't believe in brutal honesty at all costs, and I think that knowing when not to share is a valuable skill, but it's not taught by creating distrust.
I understand what you are saying about the whole undermining aspect of keeping a secret but honestly there are always going to be things that you will share with your significant other. It's unrealistic to tell someone everything that has happened in your life. Sure there are certain things that you shouldn't keep from the other but there are always going to be secrets or certain truths kept from each other. Sometimes it can be as simple as a man going out to eat at his favorite fast food joint when he's supposed to be on a diet. He's not gonna tell his wife because for some reason she gets really upset about shit like that, which is silly, but it happens. Now if these little secrets start building up into bigger out of control lies than yeah it can be a problem but if it is something harmless it shouldn't be a big deal. Also secrets can also be a way to still have some sense of individuality. You hold on to certain wild moments or inner fantasies that you could never fully share with anyone else. I mean you could but you want them to be yours and yours alone, and it's not hurting anyone.
Realistically we all have secrets and we always will. It is impossible to be fully exposed. Sure you can be open a majority of the time but a lot of the times people really don't want to hear it and are appalled by said honesty.I think Fano has the right idea that there is a certain decency that comes with keeping secrets. Sure it may seem disrespectful to hide things from someone that cares about you but it's not necessarily respectful to be fully open about certain things with that person either.
This book I'm working on isn't about the guy undermining the other parent. It's about a guy who has a one night stand and finds out she gets pregnant. She doesn't want him to be a part of the child's life so he decides to write a manual about everything that every guy should know since it's the only way to help raise his son. Yes, it's going to be funny and controversial, but I think everybody is missing the point. It's a book about a funny and controversial subject.
I will do it. It sounds like an enjoyable read, but also an important book. A lot of boys don't have fathers around to teach them things and straight forward talk is the best. That's how I dish it out. Straight up, no chaser!
We are people, just like you.
http://www.amazon.com/Stuff-Every-Man-Should-Know/dp/1594744149/ref=pd_y...
http://www.amazon.com/Maxims-Manhood-Rules-Every-Real/dp/1605506613/ref=...
http://www.amazon.com/Rules-Unborn-Son-Walker-Lamond/dp/0312608950/ref=p...
http://www.amazon.com/Art-Manliness-Classic-Skills-Manners/dp/1600614620...
http://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Gentleman-Timeless-Manners/dp/1401603351/re...
http://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Knowledge-Things-Everyone-Should/dp/1598...
http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Guys-Extremely-Useful-Manual/dp/1402763158/r...
http://www.amazon.com/Man-Book-Otto-DeFay/dp/0312383126/ref=pd_sim_b_17
Just sayin'...
http://www.amazon.com/Maxims-Manhood-Rules-Every-Real/dp/1605506613/ref=...
http://www.amazon.com/Rules-Unborn-Son-Walker-Lamond/dp/0312608950/ref=p...
http://www.amazon.com/Art-Manliness-Classic-Skills-Manners/dp/1600614620...
http://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Gentleman-Timeless-Manners/dp/1401603351/re...
http://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Knowledge-Things-Everyone-Should/dp/1598...
http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Guys-Extremely-Useful-Manual/dp/1402763158/r...
http://www.amazon.com/Man-Book-Otto-DeFay/dp/0312383126/ref=pd_sim_b_17
Just sayin'...
I know there's a ton of books on the subject of what guys think and should know. But if you look at my last post you'll see that this book has a story., and an important one. It's about a father's rights.
They are, really, and there's no way to sugarcoat it. Are there exceptions? Yes, but few and far between.
Any singular group dynamic (it's a ____ thing, you wouldn't understand) exists. The sooner people learn about it, the better.
Unless the dad in question is saying "don't tell mom you just saw me giving it to my secretary over my desk", "Don't tell your mom about this" usually means "here's a guy's take on life. You can get her opinion on this, but I know your she'll probably throw a shit fit and make a huge deal out of nothing, so let's just not bring it up". Is it keeping a secret? Yeah. Is it teaching your son that sometimes there are things you might feel like telling the world about, things your guy friends would laugh about, but probably shouldn't mention to the significant woman in your life? Yeah.
I don't think they are are at odds. People are people and making a fuss over supposed differences just perpetuates them.
Men can have special bonding type experiences with their male children without undermining their wives and vice-versa. The "don't tell" aspect of it is what undermines the other parent and teaches a child that lying in a relationship is okay. It's not. I don't believe in brutal honesty at all costs, and I think that knowing when not to share is a valuable skill, but it's not taught by creating distrust.
I understand what you are saying about the whole undermining aspect of keeping a secret but honestly there are always going to be things that you will share with your significant other. It's unrealistic to tell someone everything that has happened in your life. Sure there are certain things that you shouldn't keep from the other but there are always going to be secrets or certain truths kept from each other. Sometimes it can be as simple as a man going out to eat at his favorite fast food joint when he's supposed to be on a diet. He's not gonna tell his wife because for some reason she gets really upset about shit like that, which is silly, but it happens. Now if these little secrets start building up into bigger out of control lies than yeah it can be a problem but if it is something harmless it shouldn't be a big deal. Also secrets can also be a way to still have some sense of individuality. You hold on to certain wild moments or inner fantasies that you could never fully share with anyone else. I mean you could but you want them to be yours and yours alone, and it's not hurting anyone.
Realistically we all have secrets and we always will. It is impossible to be fully exposed. Sure you can be open a majority of the time but a lot of the times people really don't want to hear it and are appalled by said honesty.I think Fano has the right idea that there is a certain decency that comes with keeping secrets. Sure it may seem disrespectful to hide things from someone that cares about you but it's not necessarily respectful to be fully open about certain things with that person either.
Well said Jaz... I don't really have much to say on this. Sure I keep secrets but mainly ones that would hurt the others feelings if they were disclosed. Stupid stuff like certain girls on my Facebook I dated in High School and stupid crap like that. No one needs to totally know everything about you.
“The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
The only sex advice I've ever gotten or will ever give: When you're doing it, pull her hair, slap her around a little, give her one of those little choke things, maybe burn her with a table lamp.
You may not be very good at the sex, but she will remember you!