favorite quotes

"Anne Frank had it easy" comrade Snarky says, "she didn't have to tour for her book".

That one gave me a giggle.

One that sticks out in my mind, that made me laugh:

"Guys have listened to worse shit, trying to get a piece of ass."

"Mosses had to be an asshole."

[QUOTE=Nohero]"Anne Frank had it easy" comrade Snarky says, "she didn't have to tour for her book".

That one gave me a giggle.[/QUOTE]
I just finished Haunted and agree - this awful Anne Frank made me groan and laugh at the same time.

gee, what a surprise nothing comes to mind. it's almost as if haunted SUCKED or something.

It was a disappointing book overall, but it wasn't without good lines.

One that stuck with me was 'It's been fourteen weeks since I had that head cold, and you still have not kissed me.'

The 'Punch Drunk' story has some tasty lines, too. '...you never want to go into a charter place saying you only plan to fly the plane one way—talk about your red flags.' Also, 'As a fundraiser, our first idea was "Five Bucks to Punch a Mime."'

I liked many of the quotes like "Publicity is the new privacy" or somehting like that. "[i][x][/i] is the new anti[x]"

But this passage is catchy: "It's really not a matter of right and wrong," Mr. Whittier would say.
Really, there is no wrong. Not in our own minds. Our own reality.
You can never set off to do the wrong thing.
You can never say the wrong thing.
In your own mind, you are always right. Every action you take--what you do or say or how you choose to appear--is automatically right the moment you act.
Mr. Whittier says, "Even if you were to tell yourself, 'Today I'm going to drink coffee the wrong way...from a dirty boot.' Even that would be right, because you chose to drink coffee from that boot."
Because you can never do nothing wrong. You are always right.
Even when you say, "I'm such an idiot, I'm so wrong..." you're right. You're right about being wrong. You're right even when you're an idiot.
"No matter how stupid your idea," Mr. Whittier would say, "you're doomed to be right because it's yours."

"This is just what human beings do--turn objects into people, people into objects. Back and forth. Tit for tat."
-Exodus
Oh and I also like this one

"If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character...Would you slow down? Or speed up?"
-Proof

"I lost my virginiry,"comrade Snarky says "through my ear"
(too real sometimes)

“The difference between how you look and how you see yourself is enough to kill most people."

[QUOTE=the midas touch;815140]I liked many of the quotes like "Publicity is the new privacy" or somehting like that. "[i][x][/i] is the new anti[x]"

But this passage is catchy: "It's really not a matter of right and wrong," Mr. Whittier would say.
Really, there is no wrong. Not in our own minds. Our own reality.
You can never set off to do the wrong thing.
You can never say the wrong thing.
In your own mind, you are always right. Every action you take--what you do or say or how you choose to appear--is automatically right the moment you act.
Mr. Whittier says, "Even if you were to tell yourself, 'Today I'm going to drink coffee the wrong way...from a dirty boot.' Even that would be right, because you chose to drink coffee from that boot."
Because you can never do nothing wrong. You are always right.
Even when you say, "I'm such an idiot, I'm so wrong..." you're right. You're right about being wrong. You're right even when you're an idiot.
"No matter how stupid your idea," Mr. Whittier would say, "you're doomed to be right because it's yours."[/QUOTE]
THANK YOU I was trying to find this quote quickly for a paper! without having to reread the novel in one night.

What is the context and story of the quote that goes

"It's been fourteen weeks since I had that head cold and you still have not kissed me."
Anyone?

"If I told you what it tasted like, you would never eat calamari again."

"The difference between how people see themselves and how they really look is enough to kill most people."
-Mrs. Clark

[QUOTE][I]How sweet! You still believe in death... that's just so... quaint. Well, sorry to pop your death bubble, but there's no such thing. So make the best of things. Any real belief in death is just wishful thinking. Don't waste good drugs on killing yourself. Share them with friends and have a party. Or send them to me. [/I][/QUOTE]

-Chuck Palahniuk

"are you saying that the aliens can actually...smell color?"

One minute your just a kid getting off, and the next minute you'll never be a lawyer

"That cunt Nietzsche wis wide ay the mark whin he sais ah wis deid.Ah'm no deid;ah jist dinnae gie a fuck.It's no fir me tae sort every cunt's problems oot"---------GOD [The Acid House]

Page 7. From Whittier:

"The people you're sneaking away from, they don't want you to be enlightened. They want to know what to expect. You cannot be the person they know and the great, glorious person you want to become. Not at the same time."

Oops

"The trouble is, even the French don't have a phrase for the stupid things you actually do say under pressure.  Those stupid, desperate things you actually think or do.  Some deeds are too low to even get a name.  Too low to even get talked about."

"In the dark rooms behind rooms, the Matchmaker and the Missing Link are dead in the Italian Renaissance lounge.  In the subbasement below the basement, Mr. Whittier and Comrade Snarky and Lady Baglady and the Duke of Vandals are rotting-dead.  In their dressing rooms, backstage, are Miss America and Mrs Clark.  All of their cells digesting each other into runny yellow protein.  The bacteria in thier guts and lungs going wild with bloat."

"Our ears and toes and fingers fed to the cat.  Cora Reynolds fed to Miss America.  Miss America and her child fed to us.  That food chain, complete."

"I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find
them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious,
I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally
responsible for everything I do." - Professor Bernardo de la Paz

"TANSTAAFL" - Robert A. Heinlein

it's supposed to be quotes from Haunted.

Wait.  You mean that Heinlein didn't write Haunted?  Well, shit.  In that case, I can't remember any specific quotes.  But after I read it, I did go around for a little while "shouting" out my friends' sins, ala Olsen Read.

"Could you repeat the question? My IUD fell out..."

That's friggin' brilliant! Why have I not heard that before?

God forbid my folks see my dick

There are SO many great quotes, I would literally have to go through the entire book page by page to pick out all my favourites, I probably have at least one favourite per page. It's just such beautiful language and style Chuck has written this book in. So, I'll just go one that really stuck with me, from near the end. The very obviously awesome line:

"To save us all, please, tell someone. To create real peace on earth. Let us all be—haunted."

If you didn't believe I meant it when I said I had a favourite quote on every single page, well, it's completely true. I just flipped to a bunch of completely random pages, and on each one I found actually had at least one line that really stuck with me the first time I read it. Just a few:

"You can't be the victim, here. We've voted you the next villain."

"The Jet Set are the original homeless people. We may have a dozen different homes—each in a different city—but we still live out of a suitcase."

"Really, the problem was, Cora never sees a little kid, a freckle-faced, pigtailed little girl, unless somebody's fucked her."

"Miss America had written in lipstick on the bathroom mirror, smeared there for her boyfriend to find in the motel room they'd shared, for him to find before his morning television appearance: 'I am NOT fat.'"

"Mr. Whittier, our villain, our devil, whom we love and adore for torturing us, he sighs."

"No one calls Mozart a corporate whore because he worked for the Archbishop of Salzburg. After that, then wrote The Magic Flute, wrote Eine kleine Nachtmusik, paid by trickle-down cash from Giuseppe Bridi and his big-money silk industry."

"It's something that goes beyond life-after-death. What's in the box is proof that what we call life isn't. Our world is a dream. Infinitely fake. A nightmare. One look, Rand says, and your life—your preening and struggle and worry—it's all pointless. The grandson crawling with cockroaches, the antiques dealer, Cassandra with no eyelashes wandering off naked. All your problems and love affairs. They're an illusion."

"Some of us were molested. Some of us, raped. All of us, ogled, groped, undressed by male eyes. It's our turn, and we don't know where to begin."

"According to Claire, everything ever seen in a mirror is still there. Layered. Everything ever reflected in a Christmas ornament or a silver tray, she says she can still see it. Everything shiny is a psychic photo album or a home movie of the images that occurred around it. In an antique store, Claire can fondle objects all afternoon, reading them the way people read books. Looking for the past still reflected there."

"We love drama. We love conflict. We need a devil or we'll create one. None of that is bad. It's just the way human beings operate. Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly."

I googled that quote. It's from an interview with CP. I tried to make a link, but it didn't show up. So, Copy & Paste.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/profiles/chuck-palahniuk-you-as...

.

I've been trying to find a quote, but I dont think this is right, but it's something like "Hell is a place and we all live there".

bad quotes, all of them. BAD.

As the French would say: Who doesn't like getting their butt sucked?

"People need a monster they can believe in. A true and horrible enemy. A demon to define themselves against. Otherwise, it's just us versus us."
"We all need a doctor to yank us out of our perfect womb. We piss and moan, but we appreciate God kicking us out of Eden. We love our trials. Adore our enemies."
"Our world of only humans, a world without humanity."
"A sperm meets an egg, and your soul gets sucked back to live another tedious liftime, eating, sleeping, getting sunburned. On Earth: Planet Hurt. Planet Conflict. Planet Pain."

"It's us against us. You, the victim of yourself."

Dear people who say Haunted was disappointing,
No it wasn't. It was awesome.
-Everyone who loves it

I liked the majority of the stories, but the writers' retreat part of it really didn't work for me.

Well, this all goes back to it originally written to be two separate projects. I'd really like to see how that whole writers' retreat novel was before it had to be tailored to coincide with the short stories.

I was trying to find a quote online and the only google result was here and I found it amusing that it lead back to myself over two years earlier.

Her baby was the first course miss America the second. Third is anyones guess