Penguins!
This may be a bit old news but still amusing...
[QUOTE][B]Zoo Uses Aversion Therapy 'To Cure' Gay Penguins[/B]
(Bremen, Germany) A German zoo is trying "to cure" three gay penguin couples using a form of aversion therapy. The Bremerhaven Zoo is splitting up the couples, and has imported four female penguins from Sweden which it will use to try to "turn" the penguins "straight".
The three gay couples are part of the zoo's 10 penguin exhibit. The others are apparently straight and coupled. But, for more than a year zookeepers were mystified why the three couples didn't have any offspring.
They did the usual courting dances, built nests together, appeared to have sex, and still no little penguins. Finally they did a DNA test to see if there was something genetically wrong. That is when they discovered the three couples were all male.
Zoo director Heike Kueck said each of the males will be given special secluded separate quarters and a female will be introduced. They will rotate the females to see which pairings "click".
Gay penguins are not unusual. New York's Central Park Zoo, has Roy and Silo, who have been together for several years. As with one of the couples in Germany Roy and Silo put a rock simulating an egg in their nest and sat on it, keeping it warm in the folds of their abdomens. (story)
Gay penguins have also been found in Japan. Scientists at Rikkyo University in Tokyo, found about 20 same-sex pairs at 16 major aquariums and zoos in Japan. (story)
Aversion therapy "to cure" homosexuality in human has run the gambit from shock therapy to isolation with females and has never worked.
Even Kueck is skeptical it will work in her penguins. But, she said that the attempt has the support of the European Endangered Species Program because the penguins, which are native to South America, are an endangered species.
In New York, attempts to introduce females to Roy and Silo failed although the two no longer spend time together. Roy for a while spent time with another penguin, this time a female, but that too has apparently ended.[/QUOTE]
and the follow-up...
[QUOTE][B]Zoo ditches gay penguin plan[/B]
A German zoo has abandoned a plan to break up homosexual penguin couples after protests from gay rights groups.
The Bremerhaven Zoo in northern Germany had earlier flown in four female Humboldt penguins in an attempt to encourage three all-male couples to reproduce.
The zoo originally defended the experiment on the grounds that the birds were an endangered species. But after protests from gay rights groups, director Heike Kueck said the zoo was abandoning the plan.
"Everyone can live here as they please," Ms Kueck said.
She said it was not her intention, nor was it possible, to separate the gay couples by force and interest them in their new female companions.
She added that the gay penguins had shown little interest in the females, but this could have been because the program was started too late in the year.
Gay groups had protested against "the organised and forced harassment through female seductresses" in an open letter to Bremerhaven Mayor Joerg Schulz and called on him to stop the program.
Zoo keepers discovered that the homosexual couples had gathered rocks that they coveted like eggs and fooled their keepers for years into thinking they were boy-and-girl duos.
The zoo came up with the ingenious idea of trying to convert the males by flying in some exotic birds from Scandinavia. But the boys haven't exactly been fighting for a slice of the female action. On the contrary, they have shown their suitors the cold shoulder.
"The relationships were obviously too serious," Ms Kueck said of the same-sex penguin couples. Instead of flirting with the opposite sex, they seemed to prefer sitting on the stones, which substitute for the eggs they will never be able to lay.
The zoo, which promotes itself with the slogan "encounters of a special kind", initially wanted to wait until spring 2006 to see if their international matchmaking efforts spawned results.
Now the gay penguins are being allowed to live the way they want.
As for the Swedish females - new male penguins have been drafted in to attend to their heterosexual needs.[/QUOTE]
gay penguins. but of course!
Funniest part, "Gay groups had protested against "the organised and forced harassment through female seductresses"
For the love of Gawd.
I hate hate groups!
hahahhahah you gotta love penguins. meh, maybe they acted gay so they ddint have to mate with the female penguins, maybe they were butt ugly and fat.
douche
no matter who you are, just because you are considered endangered doesn't mean that you should be required to produce offspring...
in my opinion
[QUOTE=Prensa Taladradora]no matter who you are, just because you are considered endangered doesn't mean that you should be required to produce offspring...
in my opinion[/QUOTE]
but the animal can tell if they are endangered, so wouldnt they want to produce offspring, or just not care.
douche
to me it sounds like they were happy with their rock babies
hey...if life is survival of the fittest, and if they would rather be gay, let them play with their rock babies...
those enviornMENTAL people fire me up. save something worth saving, like jobs, or lowering gas prices, or college tuition rates, or by feeding homeless people.
Nature has a way of wiping itself out. Let them if that's what they want.
Yeah, I think if all the money that different organizations and governments spend on keeping certain useless species alive were rather used to help people in need, the world would be a better place.
[QUOTE=stoyan]Yeah, I think if all the money that different organizations and governments spend on keeping certain useless species alive were rather used to help people in need, the world would be a better place.[/QUOTE]
damn right.
[QUOTE=stoyan]Yeah, I think if all the money that different organizations and governments spend on keeping certain useless species alive were rather used to help people in need, the world would be a better place.[/QUOTE]
"people in need" pah!
I honestly think that the last thing this planet needs is more people.
survival of the fittest you say? If "people in need" can't take care of their own damn selves then screw em!
"Useless species" double pah!
based on what criteria? they don't make for delicious burgers or serve mankind in some other stupid way?
[QUOTE=Prensa Taladradora]
survival of the fittest you say? If "people in need" can't take care of their own damn selves then screw em!
based on what criteria? they don't make for delicious burgers or serve mankind in some other stupid way?[/QUOTE]
your first point is well taken.
and your second, point, well, yeah, if they don't taste good, what is the use?
(jk)
[QUOTE=Prensa Taladradora]"people in need" pah!
I honestly think that the last thing this planet needs is more people.
survival of the fittest you say? If "people in need" can't take care of their own damn selves then screw em!
"Useless species" double pah!
based on what criteria? they don't make for delicious burgers or serve mankind in some other stupid way?[/QUOTE]
I just meant the disproportion between the money spent on saving a few dolphins and that on saving a few nations from draught or whatever.
I hate to be a meanie, but drought cannot be fixed with money.
Its natural.
If you live in an area that never gets any water, it might be time to consider moving somewhere wetter.
Yeah alright then not draught but war or an evil evil totalitarian ruler or an epidemic for which medicine could be provided or something like that,
I think you [I]can[/I] throw a little money at a draught. I remember hearing about these rockets that fly up and explode in the sky, causing rain clouds to form. I'm not too sure of the science behind it.
yup, go right ahead and mess with the weather, I'm sure there won't be any negative consequences... :rolleyes:
epidemics are good for the planet, think of it as a forest fire, cleaning out all the dead brush and fertilizing the soil for the next generation.
Hmm that's a great philosophy. Very... humane. I wonder whether you'll be thinking the same way when an epidemic comes to your city. And btw, that tsunami - wonderful.
Fook it...just let the penguins die. If nature says they should go, and if they don't want to do anything about it--ie reproduce--then bye, bye.
All of this preservation money could be spent on better things. As could war money. As could money used to cart around politicians in limos. As could campaign money. As could a lot of other money that is wasted everyday.
How about putting that money into communities where school roofs are falling down around the kids? How about putting that money into afterschool programs to give the kids something else other than drugs to do. How about lowering the tuition rate so everyone really does have a fair chance of going to school, without spending the rest of their life paying back for it.
A pengiun has a choice, to fuck or not to fuck. A kid living in a certain area of the country where the economy, or lackthereof, is dictated for him doesn't have that choice.
Hell...if you're going to waste money like that, throw a giant pizza party, or something.
[QUOTE=JustinHolt]Fook it...just let the penguins die. If nature says they should go, and if they don't want to do anything about it--ie reproduce--then bye, bye.
All of this preservation money could be spent on better things. As could war money. As could money used to cart around politicians in limos. As could campaign money. As could a lot of other money that is wasted everyday.
How about putting that money into communities where school roofs are falling down around the kids? How about putting that money into afterschool programs to give the kids something else other than drugs to do. How about lowering the tuition rate so everyone really does have a fair chance of going to school, without spending the rest of their life paying back for it.
A pengiun has a choice, to fuck or not to fuck. A kid living in a certain area of the country where the economy, or lackthereof, is dictated for him doesn't have that choice.
Hell...if you're going to waste money like that, throw a giant pizza party, or something.[/QUOTE]
can i get an amen?
...amen
I never claimed to be a humanitarian, I thought I made that clear when I said that the [B]last[/B] thing I think this planet needs is [B]more humans[/B].
and yeah, if only money was well spent then we could have prevented that tsunami thingy... :rolleyes:
I am, however, a strong advocate of pizza parties. BRING IT ON!
So are you guys mad about the money that was spent trying to get the penguins to breed or mad about the money that was spent trying to get the zoo to stop trying to force the penguins to breed?
and while we're at it, do you think that no money should be spent on zoos ever since their main purpose is to preserve species and educate the people about animal life?
I like pizza parties.
[QUOTE=Prensa Taladradora]
So are you guys mad about the money that was spent trying to get the penguins to breed or mad about the money that was spent trying to get the zoo to stop trying to force the penguins to breed?
and while we're at it, do you think that no money should be spent on zoos ever since their main purpose is to preserve species and educate the people about animal life?[/QUOTE]
I am a humanitarian...or more so one than one who believes in spending on preservation of animals that we can't get them to care about preservating themselves...
Personally, I think zoo's are fine. There are far worse things to spend good government money on. (ie, examples given before). But the whole bringing in special 'ho' penguins to liven things up and reproduce, that's like an expensive example of getting a kid to each his vegtables. It's not going to happen. Just let them be gay. From what I see, and hear, there are a lot of zoo's out there who have dyer financial strains on them. Share some of that pimpin' money with some other zoo who could really use it to stay open...
are zoos really funded by the government?
[QUOTE=Prensa Taladradora]are zoos really funded by the government?[/QUOTE]
I belive they are part funded by government/part donation/part revenue they take in, not neccesarily in that order.
[QUOTE]Zoo keepers discovered that the homosexual couples had gathered rocks that they coveted like eggs and fooled their keepers for years into thinking they were boy-and-girl duos.[/QUOTE]
Those tricksters...
[QUOTE=Prensa Taladradora]yup, go right ahead and mess with the weather, I'm sure there won't be any negative consequences... :rolleyes:
epidemics are good for the planet, think of it as a forest fire, cleaning out all the dead brush and fertilizing the soil for the next generation.[/QUOTE]
until its your house...
then we get this thread...
"OMG FIRE BURNED MY HOUSE I AM AT A LIBRARY RIGHT NOW O GOD THE WORLD SUCKS"
FUN TIMES!
SUNTORY TIMES!
FUN TIMES!
[QUOTE]In New York, attempts to introduce females to Roy and Silo failed although the two no longer spend time together. Roy for a while spent time with another penguin, this time a female, but that too has apparently ended. [/QUOTE]
......
sounds like all those tabloids they sell in the grocery store....
WHERE I HAVE TO WORK AND WALK BY EVERYDAY!
FUCK!
[IMG]http://www.chuckpalahniuk.net/fan/workshop/topdogs/Junior_copy_editor_MockyMockins.gif[/IMG][URL=http://chuckpalahniuk.net/community/forumdisplay.php?f=210][IMG]http://img68.exs.cx/img68/5013/stanzasociety6iw.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
"... got this store bought way of saying I'm ok..."
[QUOTE]The zoo came up with the ingenious idea of trying to convert the males by flying in some exotic birds from Scandinavia.[/QUOTE]
Hot Swedish penguins! Va va voom!!!
Two fuckin' pages about gay penguins...
Jesus Christ, people.
(Oh, and don't note the irony that I posted in it just now... it's duly noted. [I]Believe me.[/I])
I was here. Then I wasn't. Then I was again.
[QUOTE=Parkaboy]Two fuckin' pages about gay penguins...
Jesus Christ, people.
(Oh, and don't note the irony that I posted in it just now... it's duly noted. [I]Believe me.[/I])[/QUOTE]
Hey man, 4000 posts later, and you just can't save us from ourselves. Thanks for trying.
[QUOTE=mirkah]Hey man, 4000 posts later, and you just can't save us from ourselves. Thanks for trying.[/QUOTE]
God damned failed messiah is what I am...
Well then...
Enlightened Despot it is!!
I was here. Then I wasn't. Then I was again.
[QUOTE=JustinHolt]I belive they are part funded by government/part donation/part revenue they take in, not neccesarily in that order.[/QUOTE]
They are completed funded by the government so that they might more easily and inconspicuously begin to retrofit them for human detention....
But you didn't hear that from me.
I was here. Then I wasn't. Then I was again.
As if penguins aren't silly enough.
Ducks kick penguins asses.
The strange case of the homosexual necrophiliac duck pushed out the boundaries of knowledge in a rather improbable way when it was recorded by Dutch researcher Kees Moeliker.
It may have ruffled a few feathers, but it earned him the coveted Ig Nobel prize for biology awarded for improbable research, and next week he will be recounting his findings to UK audiences on the Ig Nobel tour.
Ducks behave pretty badly, it seems. It is not so much that up to one in 10 of mallard couples are homosexual - no one would raise an eyebrow in the liberal Netherlands - but they regularly indulge in "attempted rape flights" when they pursue other ducks with a view to forcible mating. "Rape is a normal reproductive strategy in mallards," explains Mr Moeliker.
As he recounts in his seminal paper, The first case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard anas platyrhynchos, he was in his office in the Natuurmuseum Rotterdam, when he was alerted by a bang to the fact a bird had crashed into the glass facade of the building. "I went downstairs immediately to see if the window was damaged, and saw a drake mallard (anas platyrhynchos) lying motionless on its belly in the sand, two metres outside the facade. The unfortunate duck apparently had hit the building in full flight at a height of about three metres from the ground. Next to the obviously dead duck, another male mallard (in full adult plumage without any visible traces of moult) was present. He forcibly picked into the back, the base of the bill and mostly into the back of the head of the dead mallard for about two minutes, then mounted the corpse and started to copulate, with great force, almost continuously picking the side of the head.
"Rather startled, I watched this scene from close quarters behind the window until 19.10 hours during which time (75 minutes) I made some photographs and the mallard almost continuously copulated his dead congener. He dismounted only twice, stayed near the dead duck and picked the neck and the side of the head before mounting again. The first break (at 18.29 hours) lasted three minutes and the second break (at 18.45 hours) lasted less than a minute. At 19.12 hours, I disturbed this cruel scene. The necrophilic mallard only reluctantly left his 'mate': when I had approached him to about five metres, he did not fly away but simply walked off a few metres, weakly uttering a series of two-note 'raeb-raeb' calls (the 'conversation-call' of Lorentz 1953). I secured the dead duck and left the museum at 19.25 hours. The mallard was still present at the site, calling 'raeb-raeb' and apparently looking for his victim (who, by then, was in the freezer)."
Mr Moeliker suggests the pair were engaged in a rape flight attempt. "When one died the other one just went for it and didn't get any negative feedback - well, didn't get any feedback," he said.
His findings have provoked a lot of interest - especially in Britain for some reason - but no other recorded cases of duck necrophilia. However, Mr Moeliker was informed of an American case involving a squirrel and a dead partner, although in this case it is not known whether the necrophilia observed was homosexual or not as the victim had been run over by a truck shortly before the incident.
Jesus Christ. First of all, I can't even imagine standing and watching a dead duck get raped for 75 minutes. Second, I just about died when it said the Brits were especially interested in this. Last, as fucked up as that duck is, I think it's even more fucked up that some squirrel was humping roadkill.
[QUOTE=random internet news source]The City of Slagelse is cracking down on aggressive hoards of amorous drakes that practice gang rapes against the few female ducks surviving in the city park
Normally, Slagelse's park is a peaceful oasis where small children and old ladies go to feed the ducks on the park's lake.
But all winter the park's visitors have witnessed violent and gruesome scenes, as gangs of 6-7 aggressive drakes attack the few female ducks that live on the lake, raping them and often drowning them in the havoc.
'This is simply gang rape,' Slagelse project leader Peter Johansen told daily newspaper Politiken, adding that the sexual abuse had escalated as spring approached and the drakes became even more randy.
Johansen said the lake's many drakes also showed aggressive behavior towards humans trying to feed them, and their sheer numbers posed an environmental problem in the Western Zealand town.
'All those ducks are ruining the lake with their excrements,' he said. 'It gives too much algae, which ruin the plant and animal habitat.'
Of the park's 150 ducks, only one in five is female. Johansen said it was natural that more male than female ducks were hatched, to ensure that every female could mate and lay eggs.
'The problem is that many females drown when the drakes fight over them, and that creates a bigger unbalance in the gender distribution,' Johansen said.
Despite the natural explanations, the city has had enough of the rapist hoards. A number of drakes will be trapped and shipped to other, bigger lakes, to find more females and space, and mend their ways.[/QUOTE]These birds are getting out of control. I blame it on the spread of terrorism and I vote we go after them with all the firepower God has bestowed upon us.
[QUOTE=alex cassun]These birds are getting out of control. I blame it on the spread of terrorism and I vote we go after them with all the firepower God has bestowed upon us.[/QUOTE]
Hear! Hear! Animals are the enemy of nature!
(is that the right hear?)
I was here. Then I wasn't. Then I was again.
well fuck a duck...
Wtf... gay right groups should have better places to spend their money. Penguins...