Fight bullets with fat
So AOL forced me to stumble upon this news story about some fat bitch who got shot and her fat "saved her life". Apparently she was thinking about losing weight (how many fat people aren't?), but now she says "I want to be as big as I can if it's going to stop a bullet."
WTF?! Is this the new Superman McDonald's invented? Have vegetables and exercise become America's kryptonite? (probably not, judging by our current medal count..USA, USA, USA).
And this is the link:
http://www.bvblackspin.com/2010/02/24/love-handles-save-womans-life/?ici...
I also heard a similar story where a girl's weave saved her from a gunshot to the head. So now I wear a weave.
It's so lovely when the worlds collide, and the ship spins out of control.
There was also that episode of Seinfeld where Kramer was saved from crazy Joe's deadly kick. Now I wear a helmet everywhere.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
I'm going to need someone to make all of the above into a photoshop. Thanks.
I think this chick is missing the big picture here. I mean, how many more times do you plan on being shot? Really? Is it going to happen many more times before she develops heart disease? Wouldn't it just be easier to avoid a gunshot wound by say, not going out to sleazy bars?
I'm telling you, right now, an advertising executive for Burger King is smiling.
"Life isn’t divided into genres. It’s a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel. You know, with a bit of pornography if you're lucky."
-Alan Moore
I was just thinking that. (Well, more along the lines of "pics or it didn't happen.)
I saw an interview with Jon Stewart and Ricky Gervais, when Gervais told the story of a man who was in a car accident and claimed that his fat saved his life. A piece of wood penetrated his stomach but because he was so fat it missed all of his vital organs. If he wasn't so fat, it would have missed him completely. But that's not the point.
I was thinking the same thing.
It's slightly off topic but I just read about a 7-month-old Argentinian girl who survived 3 days with a bullet in her chest, after her parents shot her.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,587667,00.html?test=latestnews
Police discovered an apparent suicide note by the girl's parents in which they outlined their fears over global warming.
I also recall a woman who survived being shot because her underwire bra deflected the bullet.
What I have shown you is reality. What you remember... that is the illusion.
Oh America, you amaze me more and more everyday. But at least I'm comforted in the fact that if I pack on a few pounds I can withstand a gunman. Although wearing a bullet-proof vest all the time would give me the same amount of coverage. I just think America is so sick of trying to fight the obesity epidemic, they're promoting it now, hoping we all get heart attacks early on. I'm assuming it's a population control tactic, because our budget wouldn't allow a Battle Royale.
It's so lovely when the worlds collide, and the ship spins out of control.