Do you want to be a diamond after you die?
[URL=http://www.cio.com/archive/010103/18.html]http://www.cio.com/archive/010103/18.html[/URL]
[URL=http://www.wired.com/news/culture/0,1284,55231,00.html]http://www.wired.com/news/culture/0,1284,55231,00.html[/URL]
[URL=http://jewelry.about.com/cs/syntheticdiamonds/a/lifegem_diamond.htm]http://jewelry.about.com/cs/syntheticdiamonds/a/lifegem_diamond.htm[/URL]
I remember hearing about this process and was reminded of it in the wierdest way this morning: while making tea and toasting pop tarts, I open a cabinet to get honey and see some boxes in the cabinet labeled "Urn Cleaning." I thought, "Heh, urn cleaning. Get those ashes out of that thing!" Obviously it was a cleaning supply for the coffee maker, but that thought reminded me of this process to basically turn your ashes into a diamond.
I think that's one cool-as-hell transformation to take. Fuck burial. Wouldn't it be the ultimate gesture of love, too?
"Baby, if you love me....you'll wear me when I die."
Discuss.
Mmm... pickles.
I'm down with the diamond thing. There was a cheezy radio commercial that would always make me laugh. It was about how you should buy your girlfriend/wife a diamond...
"Women are LIKE diamonds. They're beautiful. And rare. And they sparkle."
hahaha
[img]http://www.chuckpalahniuk.net/fan/cw/allstars/malakaiiiGold.gif[/img]
"I'm not lying. I'm writing fiction with my mouth!" - Homer Simpson
.. dill, none of the sweet gerkin stuff ....
I could handle being Diamonded, but I think I'd prefer being a mineral supplement to a really neat potted plant like an orchid - that way I'd feed life, and a beautiful life at that ...
[QUOTE=Thag].. dill, none of the sweet gerkin stuff ....
I could handle being Diamonded, but I think I'd prefer being a mineral supplement to a really neat potted plant like an orchid - that way I'd feed life, and a beautiful life at that ...[/QUOTE]
You saying if the mob whacked you and buried you somewhere? I'd be down with worm food.
i would be blasted into space, totally.
[QUOTE=Undertow]You saying if the mob whacked you and buried you somewhere? I'd be down with worm food.[/QUOTE]
That would be okay, but not underneath a stripmall or anything, some place open and natural. The thing I like about a potted plant is that you can specifically associate me with a single living thing ... "Honey? Will you move Thag into the sunlight?" You know, they could sprinkle ashes into the soil from time to time ... water me ...
I think it would be great if the wife went through with it, making some kind of necklace or brooch out of it. Then she's at some kind of party and a random guy (probably older) asks (read this in a stuffy British accent), "Oh how lovely. Did your husband buy that for you?"
"My [I]husband[/I]? Why darling, it [I]is[/I] my husband!"
It'd be kinda cool to be turned into a diamond, but I don't think I would want to wear anyone's diamond cause then your just thinking about that person everyday, besides wearing jewelery always annoys my so I wind up taking it off somewear random and lossing it.
[QUOTE=Undertow]You saying if the mob whacked you and buried you somewhere? I'd be down with worm food.[/QUOTE]
This sparked another idea: the mob killing you, somehow have connections with the company involved in diamond-making from ash and then making the dead guy into a diamond and then selling off the body, hiding the evidence.
[QUOTE=Undertow]"My [I]husband[/I]? Why darling, it [I]is[/I] my husband!"[/QUOTE]
hah
"Kids have you seen your father I can't find him anywhere?"
"He's in the junk drawer"
that article in wired said you could be launched into space.
[QUOTE=Undertow]This sparked another idea: the mob killing you, somehow have connections with the company involved in diamond-making from ash and then making the dead guy into a diamond and then selling off the body, hiding the evidence.[/QUOTE]
but then what will I use the shovel in my trunk for?
[QUOTE=mr_hash]but then what will I use the shovel in my trunk for?[/QUOTE]
For smacking yourself upside the head for not thinking that idea first, silly!
clem snide says: you were a diamond.
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all it takes is $60 and a dream.
... and only if Cameron Fry made the diamond.
Clem Snide?
[QUOTE=Undertow]Clem Snide?[/QUOTE]
they're a band. it's the name of one of their albums.
[url=http://www.chuckpalahniuk.net/community/forumdisplay.php?s=&daysprune=&f=176][img]http://www.italiamia.info/immagini/banner468.gif[/img][/url]
all it takes is $60 and a dream.
[QUOTE=Undertow]I think it would be great if the wife went through with it, making some kind of necklace or brooch out of it. Then she's at some kind of party and a random guy (probably older) asks (read this in a stuffy British accent), "Oh how lovely. Did your husband buy that for you?"
"My [I]husband[/I]? Why darling, it [I]is[/I] my husband!"[/QUOTE]
[I]Hahahah![/I]
thats fucking great, man!
[IMG]http://img77.imageshack.us/img77/3760/rosinhighminsig3jo.gif[/IMG]
imagine being buried in space, how...romantic
My burial/ funeral will make CNN Headline news.
I have my casket picked out, it's behind my local Sears department store.
Once my body has been placed inside the empty refirgerator box, I will be burned to a mound of ashes.
Then comes the memorium. All my families and friends will take my ashes, roll them into a big ass joint, and they will smoke me, so that I may live on, in their hearts, minds, souls, lungs, blood vessels, liver...
[B]We were about to give up and call it a night when somebody dropped the girl off the bridge.[/B]--[I]Darker Than Amber[/I], John D. McDonald (Best opening sentence ever.)
[QUOTE=snuffy]that article in wired said you could be launched into space.[/QUOTE]
Seven grams of Timothy Leary was buried in space aboard a rocket with some 24 other people. Including Gene Roddenberry, Gerard O'Neill and Krafft Ehricke.
[IMG]http://img77.imageshack.us/img77/3760/rosinhighminsig3jo.gif[/IMG]
[QUOTE=vandamage]My burial/ funeral will make CNN Headline news.
I have my casket picked out, it's behind my local Sears department store.
Once my body has been placed inside the empty refirgerator box, I will be burned to a mound of ashes.
Then comes the memorium. All my families and friends will take my ashes, roll them into a big ass joint, and they will smoke me, so that I may live on, in their hearts, minds, souls, lungs, blood vessels, liver...[/QUOTE]
I don't know about Sears, but I know Costco sells caskets now.
But we're talkin' bout [I]diamonds[/I], man! Diamonds!
[QUOTE=Minuet][I]Hahahah![/I]
thats fucking great, man![/QUOTE]
You should actually hear me do the voices. I don't consider it below me, I do voices A LOT.
[QUOTE=Undertow]I don't know about Sears, but I know Costco sells caskets now.
But we're talkin' bout [I]diamonds[/I], man! Diamonds![/QUOTE]
I know, but you probably couldn't smoke a diamond.
[B]We were about to give up and call it a night when somebody dropped the girl off the bridge.[/B]--[I]Darker Than Amber[/I], John D. McDonald (Best opening sentence ever.)
[QUOTE=vandamage]I know, but you probably couldn't smoke a diamond.[/QUOTE]
You saying you can smoke ashes?
[QUOTE=Undertow]You saying you can smoke ashes?[/QUOTE]
Yes, that's what I said, but that's not a good idea now that I think about it.
Back to the drawing board concerning the ole' will.
[B]We were about to give up and call it a night when somebody dropped the girl off the bridge.[/B]--[I]Darker Than Amber[/I], John D. McDonald (Best opening sentence ever.)
[QUOTE=snuffy]imagine being buried in space, how...romantic[/QUOTE]
Remember Spock's funeral?
[QUOTE=Undertow]I think it would be great if the wife went through with it, making some kind of necklace or brooch out of it. Then she's at some kind of party and a random guy (probably older) asks (read this in a stuffy British accent), "Oh how lovely. Did your husband buy that for you?"
"My [I]husband[/I]? Why darling, it [I]is[/I] my husband!"[/QUOTE]
That is SO Haunted... 
Glad to be here.
it inspired my former sig, maybe that sig should make a comeback
[QUOTE=Minuet][I]Hahahah![/I]
thats fucking great, man![/QUOTE]
i was wondering where that quote came from. good times.
my initial reaction was that the whole diamond thing was kind of disturbing, but by the end, when i read that the average person can make 50 - 100 diamonds, i can totally get behind this--imagine, we can buy famous people on ebay and show them off to all our friends! and each diamond would come with a tiny little inscription to prove it's legit.
Don't those LifeGems end up as something cloudy and low-carat?
And while you can't smoke cremains, I think you could substitute them for cigarette ashes when you make a crackpipe from a beer can.
Yeah, I know it's cremated, but I imagine them stuffing the body in this trash compactor and squeezing out all the juices to start to get it down to a size where it will fit into the diamond thingy.
This is a really good idea.
Hmm, interesting. I thought it was just a vodka advert. Of course, I'm going to be pickled when I die.
!