Rico Slade Will Give You a Big Sloppy Kiss

Hmm the "stars" were supposed to be in bold... Oh well. I think going in that direction will make an a pretty good review though. That was my point.

PDFs of my book and Cameron Pierce's Abortion Arcade will be available for free download from now until the end of the month. Go here for the info: http://bizarrocentral.com/2011/05/23/may-23rd-is-free-abortion-day/

We've got a new interview up with Mr. Sands: http://wearevespertine.com/interviews/bradley-sands/

There's also a link to download a free e-version of Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You! I imagine that's going to last for a limited time, so get on it.

Awesome.

Read it. Dug it. Still have throat.

Guise. If you don't get RSWSKY while it's free then I don't know what to say other than you deserve to have your throat smurfing ripped out. It's a quick, fun, goofy read, most-likely unlike anything you've ever read before, so grab it. Then maybe email Bradley a buck or something.

Thanks, guys. Here's an interview with another cultie (Valmont), although it covers some of the same material: http://jayslaytonjoslin.com/2011/04/23/bradley-sands-the-man-who-created...

I've been reading this at work. I'm about half done.

I'm really enjoying it. This is one of the most fun books I've read. I think this is what would happen if I would ever just let myself go. Let myself write whatever the fuck I want. It would be something like this.

Glad you're liking it, Pete.

The synopsis for Rico Slade does not do Rico Slade justice. But granted, if the synopsis was written "right" it would ruin the story. The story really doesn't reveal itself until a few chapters in. And that's kind of when the story stops being, just a funny goofy read, and starts to have some substance. There's a reason Rico Slade is running around town ripping throats out and it's not what you think.

This is The Last Action Hero meets A Beautiful Mind.

The end was a little bit abrupt, but other than that I really liked this book. I liked it a lot more than I thought I would. I can see giving this to your friends who say they don't read. I think they'd absolutely love this book.

I mean, how can you not like passages like this:

You’ve got Rico Slade on the line and I’m gonna stop you from destroying the world by punching you in the fucking face a bunch of fucking times.

“You’ve got a filthy mouth,” Rico Slade says. “I’m gonna wash it out with my foot.” With a single, continuous kick, he shatters the car windshield and puts his foot in the driver’s mouth, then waits a few minutes until the driver chokes to death.
He stretches his leg and walks over to the next car. He does this again and again. There are no further complaints.

Thanks.

Yeah, the synopsis that I wrote was more accurate, but the publisher preferred the one that he ended up using.

So this book seems to be getting a lot of attention -everyone's enjoying it and after reading all the positive feedback from Pete, I decided to go ahead and order this from amazon -Plus you seem like an all around cool dude, Bradley. Not to mention you're bald, and I'm fucking bald -so there's that.

And yeah I know it's free right now, but I can't get to it right now/not until June/would rather have the book on the beach I'm going to than the pdf pages to carry around. But hey it's actually on Sale right now -I got it for a Great price if anyone's pondering the purchase.

Thanks a lot, Nathan.

I've been reading this at work. Good times.

Might buy a physical copy as well...

What up, bro? This is Rico Slade. I just hacked into Bradley's account by guessing his password (Iamadork). But don't bother trying to get in here cause I just changed it to ifuckingrule.

I’m making Bradley donate all of July’s royalties from his book, Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You, to the American Decency Association. Cause Rico Slade is all about decency and family values and shit. America is the greatest nation in the world! And decency fucking rules! Rico Slade and the American Decency Association are for the children. We’re gonna have a team up and beat the crap out of pornography and indecent media. And if Bradley Sands doesn’t like it, he can just suck it! His book is about me. He’s gotta do what I tell him. Or else he’ll get a flying elbow to his nutsack. Listen up, Sands. Try to mess with me and use his royalties to pay off your cell phone bill and your testicles are gonna be so big that if you ever have children, they’ll be giant monster babies with testicles bigger than Godzilla’s. I kicked that lizard’s ass and I can take down your babies too.

So listen up. Buy Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You and help support a very kick-ass cause.

Rico Slade out!

best thread bump ever.

HEY GUYS IT'S RICOO SLADE!

Rico Loves Baron 4 Ever!

Rico Slade - Winner of 3 Goldren Razzie awards

Is that an award for saving the president from being punched in the arm really hard by a twelve-year-old? Cause I've done that three different times.

Awe. Some.

I know, right? I like having Rico around.

What would it be like if Rico Slade wrote a book about Bradley Sands?

I'd be alright until the part where Rico Slade writes himself into the book as a deus ex machine of throat-ripping... (I'd wager, three pages in.) Then it would be awesome.

I WOULD READ THAT BOOKS!

Suggested title: BRADLEY SANDS WRITES LIKE A LITTLE CRYING GIRL SO I HAD TO KICK HIS PANSY ASS UNTIL HE WROTE A RETRACTION FOR THAT NUTSUCK FULL OF LIES AND SLANDER THAT HE SCRIBBLED ABOUT ME, RICO FUCKING SLADE!

Illustrations would be full-color conte' renderings of self-portraits of Rico Slade, oiled-up in the nude. First hundred copies would include a tasteful rendering in Crisco-on-parchment of Rico's taint.

MAKE IT HAPPEN!

Dude, I drank two cases of Neurogasm and MADE IT HAPPEN in like an hour. Here's the info:

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11921768-bradley-sands-writes-like-a-...

It's not on Amazon yet, but you can order it via paypal if you can find the super secret page on my website.

Let the record show that I have submitted 5-star reviews of RSWFKY to Goodreas and Amazon.

I utilized chunks from my comments here, but they get the point across.

I told Bradley and he said mumumumum cause I got him gagged.

How does Rico feel that Bradley said that some pigcops murdered him?

Huh? That fucker said what?

Yeah if you got past page 2 in the book, at the end it has some tragic end. Perhaps beat it out of him?

I'll get to the end eventually. He'd just lie if I removed his gag and waterboarded him.

What else did you accomplish? I love Neurogasm.

Fireworks shot out of my cock

For the 4th! Rico Slade is nothing if not patriotic!

Dude, can't believe no one has found the page yet. It's so freakin obvious.

Nope. Can't find it.

Hi Bradley.

I've been a bit late to this party on purpose because I wanted to trim my 'to be read' pile a little before I started adding more to it.

But I got here. I am trying to slowly but surely read all the stuff that people on the cult have had published. Have yet to be disapointed. This one sounds like great fun. I shall be starting on the book later today.

You won't be disappointed here, for sure.

And if I am, Rico will fucking kill me, right?

Yeah, totally win/win.

Yeah I managed about 45 pages before I had to leave for work. It's getting a laugh out loud at least once every few pages. Love it.

The scene with the autograph hunters in the toilet - Top quality.

Okay, I just bought this one and Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy. Here I go...

I really enjoyed that one, some great stuff in there.

Dude, it's so easy! You're like my grandma. She's always calling me with computer problems. And I'm always like, "Shit, grandma. Have you tried turning the computer on?" And she puts the phone down for like two hours. When she comes back, she says, "Yes, that fixed out. Thank you so much for helping, my darling boy." And I'm thinking, "Suck it!" But I don't say it out loud cause she's my grandma and that would be indecent.

I'd tell him, but his publisher told him that he had until the end of the month to finish his next month and he tore off his legs to escape. Don't know where he is. He's posting on Google+ though. I'd break into his account but I don't really give a shit since no one is using the site. Probably just a bunch of dudes who don't got any legs.

I found the secret page!