very short story

scott6676
Posts: 2
Joined: 2008-01-12
From:

If anybody wants to review this , it would be greatly appreciated. First thing I've written, so any feedback would be really useful, as I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Cheers



JKabol
At the house of Sol
JKabol's picture
Posts: 3540
Joined: 2003-12-03
From: Little Rock, AR
Re: very short story

 

 

nice.  new blood around here.

 

 

scott, i'll get to this later today.  i have to buy tickets, call moms, dig a ditch for a french drain.. you know, all the fun sunday stuff.  i'll be back later, though

 

-kabol

 

 

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__________________________

They caught me because of the blood on my fingers and between my teeth. I looked up from my meal on the tile of the kitchen floor and dropped her cold limb with a thud and minor splash and told them it wasn't me.



BandrMechanics101
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Posts: 210
Joined: 2007-08-24
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Re: very short story

The "this is what people are like" line sounds strangely familiar.  Maybe not the trains part, but the building up of what people are like in a certain context, and then pushing it outward: "not just on trains."



scott6676
Posts: 2
Joined: 2008-01-12
From:
Re: very short story

Sounds familiar? I hope not. While I don't see myself as being a brilliant mind with completely original thoughts, it would still be a bummer. Please let me know if you remember the story/book you're thinking of.Thanks dude.



BandrMechanics101
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Posts: 210
Joined: 2007-08-24
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Re: very short story

Well, don't get down.  It was really good for a first, or so I think.  Something about it just felt generally familiar.  Sorry for being unspecific.