A SHORT POEM-- PLEASE READ

Since nobody except for me has posted anything to be reviewed, I'm putting up another piece.  PLEASE PLEASE comment on it.  EVEN if you don't know much about poetry, or don't know quite what to say.  Your opinion matters!  If you like it, say so.  If you don't really like it, but can't figure out why, do your best to explain (do you feel like there is not enough there?).

JKabol, if you want ot put something up I'd be happy to review it for y ou since you're the only one that's gave this thing a shot so far.

This one is about people I know, with a projection into the future.

Oedipal Perversion

Mark was hooked on junk, and his girlfriend, who he called his wife,

was hooked on junk.  And when they shot the clinic money in their blood

they had a child who was also hooked on junk.

Mark Jr.

So the doctors weaned little Mark off junk with methadone,

a weaker form of junk, until he was hooked on that.

big Mark  weaned himself off with booze and his wife,

she disappeared, insane or dead.

little Mark had frail eyes and a rail thin body

hypersensitive to pain, a reject, he was beaten up at school

and beaten up at home by big Mark, by now hooked on booze.

The first time he took her in, he said it was like crawling back inside the womb.

So he rode the horse, chasing down his mother.