Still a newbie...

Can I be your myspace friend?

I totally am in love with you all of the days.

So? does marilyn manson wear yellow or not?

didn't you send me a kicking post card sometime back?

once there is interaction beyond the internet, mail or otherwise, you are bonafide !

yeah, you sent me a postcard during the pc xchange around the time of my birthday I believe. The patton picture on the back and wishing me a birthday. I really liked that.

I want to say something nice, but I don't have any idea, so I will just shut up.

Mary...?

Magdalene or Jesus' Mo?

Yeah, both of us having once a week delayed chats because I work at the videostore and you stamp envelopes.

You guys all rock big time!

First off Jane... you're awesome!

UbikRex... best mix cd ever!

Mr. Brown... i love the delayed chats.

Adelheid... i totally want to be your friend. And it's Mary as in Magadalene. My mother named me after her. I asked who she was when I was little. And my mother said she was a whore.

Karbunkle... meetup in SF, dude. I think my vote should count anyway.

p.s. It turns out yellow is actually one of Marilyn Manson's favorite colors.

[QUOTE=mary]

And it's Mary as in Magadalene. My mother named me after her. I asked who she was when I was little. And my mother said she was a whore.

[/QUOTE]

lovely explanation,

can I be your friend too?

Of course... I'm lonely.

[QUOTE=mary]Of course... I'm lonely.[/QUOTE]

If it's any help to you, your name makes me want to yell "MARY!" with an Italian accent.

welcome...even though it sounds like you've been here longer than me. You should consider sticking around this time

[QUOTE=Mr.Shadov]I want to say something nice, but I don't have any idea, so I will just shut up.[/QUOTE]
so why even make this post at all ? its completely wasteful
if your going to say something at least have something to say !

[QUOTE=karbunkle]so why even make this post at all ? its completely wasteful
if your going to say something at least have something to say ![/QUOTE]

it's the THOUGHT that counts, duh!

[QUOTE=natters]it's the THOUGHT that counts, duh![/QUOTE]
there was [i]thought[/i] put into it ?

[QUOTE=natters]it's the THOUGHT that counts, duh![/QUOTE]
A thought never put food on the table for my kids or kept my wife from cheating with the postman. Its all about action, baby, action!!!

[QUOTE=karbunkle]there was [i]thought[/i] put into it ?[/QUOTE]

he [I]wanted[/I] to say something nice but couldn't think of anything to say...

[QUOTE=Smartazboy]A thought never put food on the table for my kids or kept my wife from cheating with the postman. Its all about action, baby, action!!![/QUOTE]

how do you know your wife wasn't thinking about the postman before she did him, eh?

Because the guy we used to have had a lazy eye and a gimpy arm. Weird thing is that gimpy arm was probably stronger than his regular arm. He was quite punctual and always delivered "with care" or "this side up" as the packages asked. Anyways, when the new guy came around, our mail was always late and often found things open and even missing. Got my lady all bent out of shape. One day the old ball and chain confronts him about it and wouldn't you know it, I walked in on her treating his fragile package with care.

Punny!!!

[QUOTE=Smartazboy]Because the guy we used to have had a lazy eye and a gimpy arm. Weird thing is that gimpy arm was probably stronger than his regular arm. He was quite punctual and always delivered "with care" or "this side up" as the packages asked. Anyways, when the new guy came around, our mail was always late and often found things open and even missing. Got my lady all bent out of shape. One day the old ball and chain confronts him about it and wouldn't you know it, I walked in on her treating his fragile package with care.[/QUOTE]

so he stuck his package in her slot?

a [i]thought[/i] killed my father !
or maybe it was the rectal cancer

your post count is a palindrome karbunkle......awwwweesommeee

[QUOTE=natters]your post count is a palindrome karbunkle......awwwweesommeee[/QUOTE]
not anymore

[QUOTE=karbunkle]not anymore[/QUOTE]

then my reason for living is obliterated........

[QUOTE=natters]so he stuck his package in her slot?[/QUOTE]
Yep, even got her with a C.O.D.

[QUOTE=Smartazboy]Yep, even got her with a C.O.D.[/QUOTE]

hmmm....i'm in over my head with the post-office puns...so i'll just bow out gracefully....

[QUOTE=mary]UbikRex... best mix cd ever![/QUOTE]

That's right, you joined in on the mix cd late and I offered to send you one right? I liked the mix I put into that one. I believe there was some Tarwater, The Residents, Bungle, Fantomas, Lovage, Shatner in that one. I forget the rest. It was a nice bunch of tracks I cataloged into one giant ongoing cd.

Hey Mary! I've followed your Bradley story, very cool (well maybe not for you, but for the rest of us!). I wanted to read about how you scare people on your MySpace page, but can't read it as it's friends only and I don't have a MySpace page (I know, how behind am I?!)

I'm glad you like to hear about my Bradley story. Unfortunately I like to tell it too much to anyone who'll listen.

My next zine is going to be a comic book about me trying to seduce Bradley Weinburger. I was in this comedy competition where you had to do someone else's material... so I did him of course, but made him have the obsession with me. I read a letter on stage about him wanting me, but really it was all true things I've done... stalker-ish obsessed stuff. It was really funny... I'll post the letter on here later. Bradley was at the show so I was really nervous. And then my big finale was going up to this girl in the audience and asking "mary" out for my birthday. I then took off my Bradley wig and put it on her head and said, "Look, I know you're my friend Sara and I know Bradley's sitting over there. But I'm going to look at Sara but I'm really talking to Bradley. Bradley, would you take me out on my birthday? I'll leave it up to the audience. Audience, if you think Bradley Weinburger should take me out for my birthday make some noise." And then everyone went crazy. I ended up winning the competition. This guy taped it and I'll have it on youtube or something soon.

I was so embarassed though that I couldn't talk to him afterwards... so I don't even know what he thought about it. I have to get over this guy. But that was it, seriously, no more comedy acts about him. That's it.

p.s. get on myspace you lame-o. : )

That sounds awesome, you should definitely post that letter!

So, did he (or is he going to) take you out for your birthday? Hey, the man should give the audience what they want!

Damn right!!! When I won they asked if I had something to say... I said, "Bradley, my birthday is on Sept. 27."

We'll see. All I want is for him to take me out and I'll wear my red dress and heels and he'll wear a suit, because he looks good in a suit, and he'll open the door for me and pull out the chair for me, and play the piano for me and hold my hand and I just want him to pretend to like me for just one night. Is that too much to ask for my birthday?

So here's the letter I read as me in Bradley Weinburger costume, as Bradley Weinburger obsessed with me:

Dear Mary Van Note,

I don't know how much more obvious I could be. I call you every week and leave messages on your machine---asking your message machine out on a date. You call back and say, "I'm pretty busy."

I tell everyone I can about how I have a crush on you. You're all over my myspace page: in my top 8, in my heroes, in my influences, in my blogs. I'm the president of the Mary Van Note fan club. Your picture is even my desktop wallpaper. I did an entire comedy act on me giving you oral pleasure and you coming on my man titties. And yet, I feel consistently rejected by you. And I don't understand why?

How many men can relate to your social awkwardness or find the fact that you watch the Disney channel intriguing? I watch the Disney channel!!! And how many men could there actually be that like the fact that you take pictures of your poo? I take pictures of [B]my [/B]poo!!!!! Both you and I shit the most beautiful feces in the world. I think we belong together. Why don't you like me?

I love you.

Love,
Bradely Weinburger

Hahaha! I can NOT believe he won't date you after that!

that sounds bit scary

Shadov, you are a bit scary.

[QUOTE=UbikRex]Shadov, you are a bit scary.[/QUOTE]
tell me something that i don't know

that's ok Shadov... apparently I'm scary too... but in a cute innocent girl-y way.

p.s. everything in that letter is true, sadly enough. Except his picture isn't my desktop wallpaper anymore. He blew it when he didn't call me back in a reasonable amount of time.. I was like "Bradley Weinerburger... that's it... I'm putting Angelina back on there.... you loser!"

I also don't take pictures of my poo... he takes pictures of his poo and tries to sell them at art shows. He really does think his shit is art. (kind of full of himself, no?)

If you're interested, I work with a couple of guys who love to take and send pictures of their "poo" via cell phone. PM me your number and I'll have them forward a picture. Maybe you guys can set up a date.

[QUOTE=mary]

I also don't take pictures of my poo... [/QUOTE]
good to know

well i feel easier admitting taking pictures of my poop if someone else does and sells it for art.

I mean, that is great and everything. But for me, it is just a personal hobby.

My April catalog of pictures are downright spectacular, the imagery and colors and the multi angle progressions....they tell so many stories in them and they continue to be breathtaking and are so fucking good.

No I'm saving myself for Bradley's poo only. No other poo is the same.

maybe we should see some of these ubikrex.

I need to see this weinerberger poo you speak of. I doubt it will pass the ubikrex approval rating.

This one I was over at a house party and the bathroom line was amazingly large. The pinch was beginning to hurt so I ran around in all the rooms for a second toilet and found this beginners toilet and released myself. I borrowed a friend's camera as a joke and had a nice laugh afterwards when he got them developed.

[img]http://static.flickr.com/29/43401922_432b376ba8_m.jpg[/img]

that's hilarious... a beginner's toilet... could barely fit all that poo too.