New!

The population of Andorra is 6,000,000000,000,230. Most of the people there are really small, though.

Lights...

Camera...

ACHTUNG!

Kevin's mother, who doesn't immediately realize that Kevin isn't there but faints upon doing so.

Andorra is a very beautiful place. You should visit sometime, when you stop being so fucking god damn fat.

The film ends with Kevin running. Nothing can be done.

Your penis
= The length, the texture, the curvature and the smell of a prawn.

GIANT ORANGE LOBSTER COCK

Are lobsters just really big prawn?

Damn right, we're hijacking this here thread with our hijinx!

I am the Cervix Nemesis!

Says the person who is sleeping on their friends floor.
(;

And who desperately seeks input on their art on an internet forum.

So true.

what the hell phil and roommate.

Reading this thread is the most fun I've had all day.

Do I have to join the workshop before I can eat lunch at the cool table? Because I don't write. I just read and I think this place is just the TOPS!

Oh-no..... a homeless person with an 'tude. What shall we do?

I really liked Jurassic Park II the first time i saw it, when it was called King Kong!

I just....feel...all warm and fuzzy right now. I am now holding you and telling you that it will all be okay

Someone woke up on the wrong side of the street feeling all icky.

Hah, this thread got funny!
___

Man, n00bs are on repeat. You try to help, but they don't listen. Then they start with the insults. Are you really that immature? My god.

So, in the mean time- you can all kiss my ass. I don't rely on anyone for my self-worth, epically not a bunch of whiny little spoiled brats on an internet forum.

You really don't know what the hell you're talking about. You totally let yourself go and you look like a fool. Good luck getting any constructive criticism around here now!

Now wait... was he being all noble and suffering for his "art", or was he being all "pity,pity me". besimple (my buttcheeks):"amazing how much self pity exists in the world"

You love it, really.

I know I do!

Jack and I have killed over 300 children!

Sticky!

If you had a DISGUSTING MINIMUM WAGE JOB you could afford to survive off more than your "art," but obviously as you state you need your funds to survive, I don't think you've turned that fish into fourty loaves yet, so don't be so damned lofty.

Find someone who cares about you enough to read your writing at all, try it. I don't think telling people to kiss your ass and acting like the be all and end all in a forum full of established, published, and talented writers is going to get you any fucking imput, or establish you or have your writing recognized as anything but drivel in the wrong place by the wrong person with a shitty attitude.

None of these whiny, spoiled brats is going to sponsor you now, I'd bet my ass on it. Don't hold your breath.

Our cat actually has a hat like this, we got it in the States. Coming back across the border to Canada my wife was all nervous about all the stuff we bought. When asked if we had anything to declare she goes "a few groceries... and a cat costume!"

More cat costumes. Less complaining.

Actual conversation:

Phil: Jack, don't hate me just because I'm beautiful.
Jack: I hate you for many reasons.

I just googled "lobster cat" and that came up. If I'm honest, I was hoping for a some kind of hybrid between the two creatures. Pincer Cat, that would yowl when dropped in the boiling water kind of thing.
The internet does not yet cater to ALL needs.

Hey, hey! I have a name!

But if you like, you can call me "Prometheus" or "Kublai Khan".
"Jack" is acceptable.

i don't understand where you think being homeless is equivalent to living on the street? i have friends where i am couch surfing while i await my apartment to be set up. sheltered lives must be amazing lives to lead. why don't you put your books down, and turn off your internet and go live for once?

you're my new favorite person.

post spammed twice, i apologize.

You're doing it wrong.

Don't like me. You'll give me a bad reputation.

And reading this thread was fun because I was laughing at what an idiot you are. Seriously dude, you don't know anybody here. Get a life.

why would I want to know people here? I don't understand. Are you guys that deprived of human contact you are convinced a forum is a life?

Im sorry let me cook you dinner and get to know eachother?

POWER LOLZ!!

Our cat Roshi, one of the dumbest impulse purchases of all time. It is a Devon Rex costing $1200 including neutering. We had to sign the most unbelievable contract where we agreed to give him only reverse osmosis water the rest of his life or the breeder has the right to take him back.

Moose here wearing a hijab (in a reinactment of Not Without My Daughter) is completely shell shocked from his previous life with a korean family living in a milk crate on the front porch with a brick on top of it. He goes into sudden screaming fits when he is left alone in room as if bombs were falling all around him. About a month ago I let him off the leash and he attacked and bit a seeing eye dog complete with accompanying blind guy.

I am.

I think that you and I would be good for each other. Just putting that out there.

Please stop calling it your art. It's not art, it's not even exactly in English. It's shapeless and silly. It is, in a word, the anti-art.

I am SO confused.

MANDEMZ BIN FED 2 DA DAWGZ!!!!

I think besimple is the fucking antichrist.

I don't recall saying you lived on the street. I just think it's idiotic to whine about being homeless, having medical bills, and not being able to get a job, but you're on the internet.

Who here is sheltered? Perhaps we should all have our own individual threads about how shitty our lives are, and that'll make us as experienced as you? And maybe we'll get even more cool points added on if we write shitty poetry in website blogs that no one will ever see or give two shits about? Yeah, maybe that's the way to do it. It's obviously working so well for you.

Speaking of turning off the internet and putting down the books, I think you should take you're own advice. You're an example of a person I wish would have never found an interest in writing, because you soil it so!

just don't talk to him anymore. It is so dumb, it blows my mind that he can be all like, "You people are dumb, why would I ever want to get to know any of you, you think this forum is a life?"

Yet he comes back in here, defending his 'honor' like we're going to be like, well, ok, we DO like you after all!!

And, he has no clue how close knit a lot of us are. Like jane said in some other newb's thread like this, lots of the relationships on here have definitely transcended just a normal forum relationship. Hell, we have a couple that is married!!

Hey! Let's see if I can write a besimple-type post in less than two minutes and call it my art!

You wake up alone in a field of inhibitions. The stench of human conformity surround's you're nostrils. Without the whiskey it's all dredgery... When, you wonder to yourself, will people wake up and realize there not free? Like the static of an old stereophone, like the crackling at the end of a telephone line: that is what we are. And you, my dear, will never be like them, for you, my dear, are one of a kind. One in a million. Once in a lifetime. You feast upon there flesh like a lions. You have the power of thinking for yourself. And that is why when you awaken in a battlefield of uniformity, you will have the gun of individuality to shoot dead the elephant of mediocrity. Only you. Only us.

I did it! I BECAME YOU!

Phil does it better.

It's a metaphor.

I'd elaborate but I don't want to ruin my own amusement.

Write all you want but keep but away from me.