mistress of haiku: / "y'all got tiny cocks... /

give me a chance, man.
i've only got two arms, and
you're pretty damn fat.

my shirt is too tight!
it doesn't matter to the
garbage collector

je sais que vous etes
les pommes de l'internet.
oui... nous sommes les pommes.

I'm terrified of
leaving flecks of nail polish
inside your sweet ass.

I've read some Kafka...
just for the dirty parts, you know? He's so filthy

look at my boyshorts
I have no other clothes on
I have a web cam
[IMG]http://www.chuckpalahniuk.net/community/attachment.php?attachmentid=2094[/IMG]

"bull in the heather"
is a fucking kick-ass song
too bad you're so lame.

Um, no. This is wrong.

It's a minimalistic haiku; I'm fucking cutting edge.

why cant we all just
get along just like they all do
in the nice movies?

Attention craver
It's not that I'm against porn
Cam-whores make me mad

i think technic'ly
i'd have to be charging you
to be a cam whore

***

back up off my grill
this thread is about haikus
don't be a lame-ass

i love the nightlife
i love to boog-ey
on the disco high

refrigerator
refrigerators are cold
refrigerator

what say you?
ill trade my doona
for your cat

You should clean that dress
well, that or avoid dance clubs
They've got black lights too

strangers in the night
meeting on the highway
let me off this bus

Heels give me blisters.
I still wear them, though... because
I like to please men.

There's no way she can
run as fast as the cab that
her coat is caught in.

if a bear attacks you
i hope it doesnt get your face
cos i think youre cute

bitches wanna front
don't make me take mah nails off
tear your whack weave off

elaborate in your head
and yet, so ordinary
when you stay the night

ho, back that ass up
and i might buy you some cris
work that booty right

Do Not Even Talk
To Him, Girl, That Is My Man
Bitch, I Will Cut You

clash of the titans
transformers vs. GoBots
(you get the GoBots)

you know what he said -
bitches aint shit
suck my dick, kiss my ass

what IS this? the group FannyPack, mid-free-style?

thug life forever.
street war with no prisoners

...i live in the burbs.

we might be girls
we might be freestylin

but we aint got no,
cameltoe

Ho, No You Di-in't
I Will Beat You Down Like What.
Hell Naw. Snap Snap Snap

it just aint right -
people painting their houses
the colour of vomit.

so then he was all
"oh my god" and then she was
all "oh my god", too

i wish you could see
how terrible you look
in that hat

i thought you were cute
but you don't laugh at my jokes
so go fuck yourself

would you walk all
over me if
i asked you nicely?

five/ seven/ five, Kit.
Learn the structure of haiku.
You keep messing it.

my tool is so miniscule
so miniscule, its no tool at all
im gonna go cry now

Blah(1st syllable) blah(2nd) blah(3rd) blah(4th) blah(5th)
Blah(1st) blah(2nd) blah(3rd) blah(4th) blah(5th) blah(6th) blah(7th)
Blah(1st) blah(2nd) blah(3rd) blah(4th) blah(5th)

How hard is it guys!
Stick to the struc-ture of it.
Re-spect Hai-ku rules

i may not haiku
like a professional you
but it makes me grin

[QUOTE=Fiberoptic Jesus]five/ seven/ five, Kit.
Learn the structure of haiku.
You keep messing it.[/QUOTE]

She is an Aussie.
With her accent, "Hello" may
Have four syllables.

[QUOTE=Tuffy the Dump Truck]She is an Aussie.
With her accent, "Hello" may
Have four syllables.[/QUOTE]

we invented the word 'hello'
i think we know how it should be said

...with four syllables?

if thats what it takes
to make a proper haiku
hello can have four

i dont care
we invented it
we have dibs on
how it is said

You invented hello? I thought Alexander Graham Bell invented it.

Someone is lying here...

[QUOTE=jane s.]You invented hello? I thought Alexander Graham Bell invented it.

Someone is lying here...[/QUOTE]

phone operators in Australia invented it
that fag, just made the actual machine.

C'mon, you gotta give the Aussies [u]something[/u], I mean, what else have they got? A massive island paradise, gnarly surf, exotic fauna... fuck it, [b]I[/b] invented "Hello".

i do hope you arent being sarcastic, tuffster.
its not our fault your country sucks

[QUOTE=Tuffy the Dump Truck]C'mon, you gotta give the Aussies [u]something[/u], I mean, what else have they got? A massive island paradise, gnarly surf, exotic fauna... fuck it, [b]I[/b] invented "Hello".[/QUOTE]

youd like it if you came here

There's some comedian or other here - I fergit who... but he's got this whole routine about 18th century British criminal justice... [i]"These 'oodlums are incorrigable! We've got to punish them! Right! Off to paradise you go!"[/i] Miles and miles of virgin beach, green green grass, enormous friendly fieldmice with built-in six-pack stashbags, Abboriginies comin up to the pale Brit bread-theives as they sloshed ashore, sayin', "Here, mang, take a hit off dis..."

Yeah, everyone knows how lucky your ancestors got with [b]that[/b] lottery. What'd [i]my[/i] ancestors get? [i]"What's the native name for this place again?" "Ken-tuh-keh." "What's it mean?" "Hills where we dig privy." "Dang."[/i]

[QUOTE=Tuffy the Dump Truck]There's some comedian or other here - I fergit who... but he's got this whole routine about 18th century British criminal justice... [i]"These 'oodlums are incorrigable! We've got to punish them! Right! Off to paradise you go!"[/i] Miles and miles of virgin beach, green green grass, enormous friendly fieldmice with built-in six-pack stashbags, Abboriginies comin up to the pale Brit bread-theives as they sloshed ashore, sayin', "Here, mang, take a hit off dis..."

Yeah, everyone knows how lucky your ancestors got with [b]that[/b] lottery. What'd [i]my[/i] ancestors get? [i]"What's the native name for this place again?" "Ken-tuh-keh." "What's it mean?" "Hills where we dig privy." "Dang."[/i][/QUOTE]

im not of the ancestors.

were those damned immigants
and its still all good.