"I Steal From Chuck" or "Hello, World"
I am not a thief.
However, I have stolen more from Mr. Palahniuk than any other person or store, etcetera, in my collected life. I don't buy his books. I read them in (insert book chain) in a sitting. And then leave. Like a bandit.
I joined this community as a kind of confessional booth--Mr. Palahniuk at least deserves some mindless pea-soup-style spamming from me.
My name is Sunday. Talk to me, I'm lonely.