Howdy.
Thanks Jane! ...but really all I did was compliment Tyler. You're a doll.
Stinging, as the thorn, is the splinter. From a seedling born...works itself under my skin.
"You are an insolent cuntface. If that happened to you, the UK would refuse to foot the bill on account of your fuckheadery."-tom9d
"Does fuckheadery count as a pre-existing condition?"-Fano
"Hunger is the best mustard"-Xec8
"i wanna see what a slutty shark looks like. i bet it loses a lot more teeth.-"BloodSugar1308
Ask me anything.
What's a "dress down" thread? Should I wear a cup for this?
I apologize in advance. Welcome to the Cult!
You should apologize to the rest of us, Tit!
Once Tyler finds his way in there, it's all over for the rest of us.
This is why we can't have nice things.
...cuz it just ain't a party until there's porno cock involved...
"Plus, if I go too long without writing I start to turn into a real asshole." -misterwoe
"She'll like what she's told to like." -Mo'Don
I can't hold it in anymore...everyone is so caught up on him being a porn star but seriously no one has mentioned that he's black!?
Derek look! A real black person here at the cult!
by the way it really doesn't matter that youre black youre a freaking porn star that isn't illiterate!!!
I hope no one finds this offensive because I'm only kidding
Heh.
When Tyler first posted, I totally skimmed over the first line, "Hi, I'm Tyler Knight, the pornstar..." and was excited that we finally had another black dude on here again.
You know, other than Ritt.
This is why we can't have nice things.
And that other guy...with the cowboy hat.
Derek look! A real black person here at the cult!
by the way it really doesn't matter that youre black youre a freaking porn star that isn't illiterate!!!
I hope no one finds this offensive because I'm only kidding
Tyler is awesome, he may just get some candy from me soon!
Member07! I remember that guy.
I hope this guy stays, he's great.
Welcome.
Member07! I remember that guy.
Not that one, this one:
I'm late to the game, but when I saw how many posts were on this thread (112 at the time), I was sure this was another flaming, shit-storm thread. I am pleasantly surprised.
Welcome, sir. You seem like an interesting fellow.
Too, I enjoy porn from time to time. :]
Fino will always have my heart.
Tyler is cool beans, though.
Member07! I remember that guy.
Yeah! He went to orgies and didn't afraid of anything.
What's funny is, yesterday I made an off-hand comment on Twitter about how my line of sex toys (penis and blow-up doll) are kinda shitty. They are. Since I've no vested interest in how well they sell, I was honest when asked. Not ten minutes later, a sex-toy tester/critic (yes, this is an actual profession) blasted the "Tyler Knight Inflatable Doll" for its lifeless penis. I'd link it here but it's very NSFW.
Since it hit the market, my email inbox is now filled with complaints from pissed consumers. Do they send the demands for their money back to the company that made it? No. They email me! "Your shitty doll ruined my party!"
A Google search tells me the consensus is, my line of sex toys are the worst bachelorette party items ever conceived by man or beast.
Thanks to those cheap, cost cutting idiots at the toy factory, people are staring at a lifeless doll of a pornstar that can't get it up. I fail at porn by proxy. Excuse me while I commit seppuku on my doppelgänger's penis. It's flaccid so this may take a while.
HAhahahhaha You really should make other threads tyler. You are definitely a cultie keeper but you need to spread your seed(what's left of it) here at the cult.
Do not buy my product for your party. You will be pissed!
http://www.amazon.com/California-Exotics-Tyler-Knight-Doll/product-revie...
Oh man, what a hoot.
Haha!
"I'm going to love you like no other. Climb on and I'll drive you all night long." is this your quote?
This review is funny:
http://www.discount-sex-toys-dildos-vibrators.com/item.asp?cID=0&PID=703...
Review On Oct 6, 2008by Anonymous
Rating :
Title : It sucks!
Comments : When I got it I couldn''t wait to try it. When I did I couldn''t get is penis in me because it was not hard enough to do so. I would never tell anybody to get it.
Here's another:
Average Rating: (1 out of 5 stars)
A joke!!!
This is only for humor at girl parties, I guarenteee you. The dick is all vynal and forget it being able to go inside you. Rip off. xD Should barely be half the price it is.
Submitted by Tona (MD,USA)
Was This Review Helpful? Yes No 2 of 2 found this helpful.
Very funny, huh? Well, I'll be long dead and my shrived penis effigy will enjoy a half-life of herpes! Archeologists digging in Porn Valley will uncover my shitty product and laugh at me 1,000 years from now.
Oh Boy you really are the gift that keeps on giving!
I just have one thing to say Next week you should be getting post from me. With what I sent you have two choices, Dress Down or Fashion Parade.
Wait wait what!? Tyler gets candy post! I'm so jealous.
They took the time to screen print my face but the penis just hangs there. Pathetic!
I wish I had a four-color face... 
As the first Cultie with a lifelike sex doll* modeled upon your actual personage, I hereby declare you the winner forever.
* Sex doll not lifelike.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Yeah can someone put him in the Cult hall of fame already?
No one will give a straight answer. What's a "dress down"? Is this one of those things we do not talk about? Should I be afraid?
I should write a script in iambic pentameter with a soliloquy and shit. Maybe a couplet about vaginae and rainbows, just to hear porn actors do it. Hmmm... *opens Final Draft*
Oh please, please do this.
You know in all the years I've been here I've never been sigged?
Time to use the wonderful search function...
Oops. Forget it.
http://chuckpalahniuk.net/forum/1000026/dress-down-thread?page=59#new
Don't be afraid ...shhh... just go with it.
Now I want to know if you've read Snuff.
http://www.discount-sex-toys-dildos-vibrators.com/item.asp?cID=0&PID=703...
Review On Oct 6, 2008by Anonymous
Rating :
Title : It sucks!
Comments : When I got it I couldn''t wait to try it. When I did I couldn''t get is penis in me because it was not hard enough to do so. I would never tell anybody to get it.
Here's another:
Average Rating: (1 out of 5 stars)
A joke!!!
This is only for humor at girl parties, I guarenteee you. The dick is all vynal and forget it being able to go inside you. Rip off. xD Should barely be half the price it is.
Submitted by Tona (MD,USA)
Was This Review Helpful? Yes No 2 of 2 found this helpful.
I love the fact that if it was half price it would be worth the ding dong not going in.
also, this isn't you is it?
NSFW
"I'm going to love you like no other. Climb on and I'll drive you all night long." is this your quote?
Christ, no! Some idiot copy editor's words, not mine but I took the money so...
Nope.
http://www.discount-sex-toys-dildos-vibrators.com/item.asp?cID=0&PID=703...
Review On Oct 6, 2008by Anonymous
Rating :
Title : It sucks!
Comments : When I got it I couldn''t wait to try it. When I did I couldn''t get is penis in me because it was not hard enough to do so. I would never tell anybody to get it.
Here's another:
Average Rating: (1 out of 5 stars)
A joke!!!
This is only for humor at girl parties, I guarenteee you. The dick is all vynal and forget it being able to go inside you. Rip off. xD Should barely be half the price it is.
Submitted by Tona (MD,USA)
Was This Review Helpful? Yes No 2 of 2 found this helpful.
I love the fact that if it was half price it would be worth the ding dong not going in.
also, this isn't you is it?
NSFW
No. That would be Lex, The Impaler, aka Lexington Steele. His penis warps space/time around it.
I am truly frightened. Too much so to clicky.
"Now I am become Death, destroyer of worlds."
This is why we can't have nice things.
I got interviewed by a feminist porn (oxymoron?) website last night.
The link to the interview itself is pretty innocuous. There are other links on the page that I can not vouch for. They may take you to the Second Circle of Lust, then the First Circle of Limbo (unemployment line)so use discretion regarding NSFW.
www.ladieznight.com/1645/tyler-knight-i-fuck-i-write-exclusive-interview...
Awesome. Porn, literature, and Martial Arts!
Feminist porn isn't necessarily an oxymoron, but it sure is dumb.
Also:
(time is the one commodity I can never get back)
Props for this. One of the rules I (try to) live by is something that was said by another Cultie, Cassun: "You can always get more money. You can never get more time."
There is hope, but not for us.
I don't know about that. The two tenets of so-called "feminist porn" are:
- "Can two people knock boots without one demeaning, degrading, and/or dehumanizing the other?"
and
- "Can I watch?"
I find nothing at all wrong with the concept.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Concept, no. Execution, yes. In my admittedly limited experience.
There is hope, but not for us.
Make some research, Janers!
This is why we can't have nice things.
Best newbie thread EVER. Future threads included.
There is hope, but not for us.