Hi, my name is Amber...
And I'm a cultaholic.
I like poetry, long walks on the beach and poking dead things with a stick.
At least I have a sticker that says that, and it makes me laugh. I haven't found anything to stick it on yet.
People like to give me little signs that say things and I hang them around my house. Most recently, one that says "I'll be Perfect... Just as soon as I get that Walking on Water thing down." I hung it above my coffee maker. Motivation every morning!
I have another little sign that says "I AM wearing my Big Girl Panties! They're just starting to Bunch. OK."
An my favorite "What contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch!" Which I guess is a W.C. Fields quote. That is about all I know of the man, I am bad with remembering any facts about celebrities or notable people, you see, but I do feel I could be friends with him based on that quote. I empathize completely.
As far as all these little signs go, I guess this is how people have decided to wrap their heads around who I am. I wonder if they gift them to me more as reminders to themselves that they find me odd than anything else.
I'm really not that odd, however. I just like things that are amusing and it isn't my fault if the rest of the world does not get the joke.
One of these days I hope to make friends with some people who like books as much as I do, I've been looking for a while however, and I am beginning to lose faith in everybody about this. It seems books, too, are considered an eccentricity. If someone could explain this to me one day it would be nice.
I'm only introducing myself because I heard there was lobster but nobody will tell me where.
Welcome to the cult.
That is really too bad about the lobster.
I would hang that sign in my laundry room.
Welcome, Amber!
I can't offer you a lobster, what about a sammich?
They only give lobster to people who post in dress down.
Mmm. Sammich. Yes please.
I'll take something with cucumbers and brie and maybe some arugula and butter on a baguette. Please.
Also - would you post this sign by your bathroom?
Absolutely, right on the door.
You would have to cut the top 6 inches off the door to make it appropriate.
hhhmmm. I have to weigh my options here.
It would go on the inside of the door so as to worry any guests.
haha good thinking!
I'll take something with cucumbers and brie and maybe some arugula and butter on a baguette. Please.
We're fresh out of baguettes, this is the best I could do:
Nomnomnom.
Amber, I added you on Facebook. For some reason, only my phone recognized your friendship query. Now we're ACTUAL friends!
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Real Friends!
How the hell didn't I get some then?
Shipping costs.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
How the hell didn't I get some then?
It obviously didn't work, try again.
I'd just read Survivor when I joined and I mentioned that. Does ANYONE remember that Tender ate the motherfucking lobster while it was still alive? Because of this, Phil's offer of lobster made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. I always assumed that was the point.
Anyway, you seem alright Amber. Because of this, I'm not offering you lobster.
Your lobster is probably still being held at the post office! Dumb post office.
Maybe I should read survivor again.
I have pretty much no memory of Survivor, but I probably read it about ten years ago
Yeah, for fucking real.
tits or gtfo
Look at the balls on Fano.
Hi, Amber!
I am Tuffy, a dump truck. I am bright yellow and have a non-standard wheel size.
We are glad you are here.
This is why we can't have nice things.
My huevos are of a less than average size, and would therefore be unlikely to inspire any level of awe in the members of this community.
I saw a lobster book today and though of all of you.
A National Best Seller, no less!
This is why we can't have nice things.
I think I might get along with you lot.
That Fano guy seems a little pervey though...
Welcome, stick around!!!
Hi Amber. There are a lot of pervies around here, watch out. Not me though, I'm sweet and innocent and nice.
Welcome to the Cult.
It's a forum full of Pervey McPerversons.
Now,
This is why we can't have nice things.
But oddly, no Pervey McPervensteins.
I posted a story in there once, long ago, about the time my sisters co worker fell over and took my sisters skirt with her on the way down grabbing for something, anything, in front of all her workers and customers once. Left her standing in her panties.
Accidental dress down story.
that is the best I will post in there.
Welcome to the Cult.
Liar! Just because you're the tiniest cultie does not mean you're one of the biggest pervy out there
Welcome to the Cult.
Liar! Just because you're the tiniest cultie does not mean you're one of the biggest pervy out there :P
Strong essences come in small bottles.
It's true. The tiniest ones are always the perviest.
But I'm only tiny upwards, not outwards.
You are a twat. You are so not invited to my badass funeral.
YOU POST IN WRONG THREADS!
Newbie is so edgy.
if i didn't know anybetter I'd say he's got water between his ears. ;V>
anybetter:= its like better, but even better. ;A<>
Hi Amber. Welcome to this forum. I love lobsters. I'm new here also.
I love this site.
anybetter:= its like better, but even better. ;A<>
If I didn't know any better I would say you are due for 3 midols and a tampon change.
Everyone has water between their ears. Your body is like seventy percent water. Duh!
This crowd seems sort of odd. They are frightening me a bit. How are you doing with them so far?
They keep offering me flavor-aid. Seems far more suspicious than the typical kool-aid offering.
At all times, we are just ~~> <~~ this close to drowning!
The way lobster is prepared is kind of messed up. I can't bring myself to eat anything that was boiled alive. I don't know if you are still talking about lobsters, but I wanted to throw in my two cents.
Guyana Grape?
This joke would be funny, but the punchline is too long.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Hi Amber, welcome to the Cult!
I believe lobster is a lie, I haven't been offered any.