Greetings and Salutations....

Is that you in your avatar? If so,you're pretty

Do you have any asian in you by any chance?

Welcome too! I'm still sort of new also so we might be friends soon.

Yes, that is me in the picture, thank you. If I had a dime for every time someone asked me if I was part Asian I'd be a gazillionaire. Irish heritage all the way. And thanks for the warm welcome!!

Hello and Welcome!

Im Irish 100% from Galway, cead mile failte cailin deas.

Are the other nights excitemnet I have retired the CUJO question but Heloo anywyas.

Derek

Hello sexydeathsoda. I like you already.

Gracias Barca Boy and pepper. Got my Stella chilling in the fridge (Yes. This is how my Saturday nights generally go. Movies, music, a barley pop or 2. NOT missing the bar scene. AT ALL). May lurk for a bit before posting, but that's how I roll as a newbie. Thanks again, guys!

great moniker. and great intro. you have a way with words. can I pop your bubble wrap?

Good luck and don't let the fiends break your spirit.

Me too. See, ideally you would had responded with "Yes,I have some asian in me" and I would had responded with a smooth line like "would you like a little caucasion in you as well?" then you'd be charmed or completely disgusted. Most likely the latter

Anyway,I hope you stick around.

Or you could be woo'd by Allen's wonderful grammar. Because I would had been if I was you.

Sowwy, Charlie. Some people bite pillows, meditate, masturbate; or like my sad tourette/OCD plagued neighbor upstairs scream at the walls and slam doors to relieve stress. Bubble popping is my way of unleashing frustration....I can check and see if there are a few I may have left unpopped...but I'm not making any promises.

Disgusted? Never. Remember, I'm an Irish lass with a rather unladylike sense of humour who has been known on many an occasion to let the expletives fly and generally offend almost everyone in my presence. It's kinda like a defense mechanism to keep the Stepford folks at bay. And, it's who I am.

No worries, I'm not going anywhere, unless of course this adhesive tape that's confining me to my recliner is cheap...

I like poking fun. But it's just fun.

If I meant it, I'd have called you low brooowwwww.

Never, for I myself am rather fiendish. Hmmmmmm...Nathaniel Parker? Why am I thinking of the movie Wide Sargasso Sea?

You don't seem shy...

Has to be the Stella, because at first glance I thought you said "you could be woo'd by Woody Allen". It would never work. I'm too old for him.

Welcome. Seeing as other's have already started in with the sexual innuendos, I'll just see myself out of this thread now.

I have a few friends by the name of Stella who have stopped by to visit. Maybe that's why. Or more than likely it's due to the fact that those whom I've encountered thus far have been rather interesting and very welcoming. But I expect nothing less from the members of a forum for Chucky P.

Inspector Lynley? Is that really you? Please do NOT pull my leg. By the way, loved you in Beverly Hills Ninja (ducks). No. Seriously. I truly am a fan of his, yours, Edward, Laertes...whoever you REALLY are..

Oh yeah, welcome new girl.

We can't have nice things!

No. Trust me, I have my moments. It's not always 72 degrees in my head all the time.

Gleemonex!

It's made from monkey cum, you know.

i think someone knocked over a hotdog trolley. your welcome thread has become sausage fest!

I to hope you are not always happy. It's so rare we get someone around here who's a miserable sad sack spraying negative diarrhea everywhere and picking fights online. It's always so happy,candycanes,and sunshine here! I blame the sudden wave of newbs and the depletion of the ozone layer.

{sarcasm font}

TAYLOR'S GONNA RAPE YOU WITH RAINBOWS YOU CUTE ASSHOLES.

No Homo is supposed to be what a hetero exclaims after saying something innocuous, like "Brad Pitt's a good looking guy, huh? No Homo".

It's yet another way that homophobes make themselves feel better about being straight while simultaneously looking more gayer. (there is no good superlative for gay. Gayer? Increasingly gay? Richard Simmons-ish?)

Anyhoo, welcome. Which armpit of Canada do you live in? Left or right?

Yeah,monkeywrite is probably right. Like I said,I didn't ask and never looked it up. No homo!

so "no homo" is the sex-related form of "I'm no racist, but..."

Thank you. The one that's not shaved daily. The right. Province of Ontario to be exact. Thanks also for offering another explanation of No Homo. Still eagerly awaiting a response as to what "bubblegum in your dimple" and the whole clean heroine means. Have you any theories?

Tony (Blood sugar) is always full of weird statements he only understands.

It's like white people justifying their use of "Nigga". "I didn't say it with the e-r, so it's o-k!" Hehe...heh.

I love you Niggas. No homo.

ninja please!

Classic.

wait. Isn't that some sort of ICP thing? It's role as greatest post in the history of the Cult is now sullied!

Ok,"bubblegum in your dimple" this is just a wild shot in the dark and makes me feel like a psychopath for having to look at your avatar so long but I think it has to do with maybe your tongue in your cheek. Someone who might be insecure about having dimples(God knows why, because dimples are cute,hella cute, no homo:) ) might do a cute tongue and cheek pose to smooth it out. That's my guess,I like slang because you can almost speak in code around the elderally. Shizzle Nizzel talk is nothing but clicks and whistles to gramps.

Now "Clean Heroin" I have not a clue not even a guess. I know what "heroin sheik" is but that's old news.

Protip: Junkies can keep their syringes clean with bleach!

chic, not sheik.

Ok, this might run a little long so you can't say I didn't warn you just click click down.

Fano wrote:

Or you could be woo'd by Allen's wonderful grammar. Because I would had been if I was you.
I like poking fun. But it's just fun.

If I meant it, I'd have called you low brooowwwww.

THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE ALLEN WAYNE PIMPOLOGY METHOD. THIS FORUM DOES NOT ENDORSE OR REPRESENT THE OPINIONS OF MR. WAYNE. THIS POST IS NOT PAID FOR BY MR.WAYNE. MR.WAYNE IS PROBABLY BORED.

Fano,Fano,Fano have I got a special offer for you but first let's ask ourselves why after the advice I tried to give you in the PAs, out of concern, you insist on doubting me? I'll let it go my young friend because I like you. You have a virginal spirit and a certain untainted moxy that warms my heart. I see you day after day around the forums and in the shoutbox bleeding like a menstruating church girl in a white dress, running through a feild of wildflowers. The world is as confusing as those wildflowers and you just want a girl to hold you...I understand. You will touch your first boob if you follow my method!

Ok,I wanted to say this last night but whatever. See the new girl? The one who "could be woo'd by my wonderful grammar" as you so sarcastically and scathingly put it?(everyone had a good laugh at ole' newbie Allen's expense,I got a chuckle myself) After I posted those first two posts complete with misspelled words and general rudeness frosted by the lamest jokes this side of the internet. I got a friend request. "Well who the heck would want to add me? This must be a prank or something" I thought. After all the hours of reading all of your little shots to my ego and those hilarious quips, my confidence was a little low I admit. But it was her! No lie! No homo! She's a super pretty, older- mature lady too,come to find out,and she's really nice and funny! What could she had possibly been thinking to add someone like me? This immature, borderline illterate jackass? Why would I be the first she added out of all you handsome princes with your mastery typing skills,and mature swagggers? I'm a toad! Why? The answer is simple...

I'm a badass! :)And I can teach you Fano to be a badass too, follow these 3 simple directions and you'll be struggling to unhook your first bra in no time!

1.Ok, I-flirting is beyond L-A-M-E! However, it's a start in your journey. MSN,Yahoo,and AIM have great free instant messengers just sitting there for download that usually come equipped with chatrooms. You go in there and say the rudest stuff possible, use language that's so vulgar Red Foxx would blush in his grave. If a girl(and this can get iffy it could be a man) ever IMs you with A/S/L don't use any wit or charm,obviously that has not worked,that's why you're here. You straight up ask for titty pics! If she dances around even a step,about sending titty pics X her ass out! Move on! You're at the lowest ranks of the relationship world(chat dating) you don't have time for I-teases. It's pretty safe to bet these bitches should not be teasing and take what they can get. Eventually, after you become a regular in these rooms the girls will find your filthy mouth charming. Do this right and a couple of emoticons in a few chat sessions will have your hard drive busting open with pics of titties! Sweet sweet webcam mammaries. You have built enough confidence now to move on...

2. Fat-uggo-practice- humping! This will pull you out of being a ninja of the mastabatory arts and become the Sexual Tyrannosaurus you are about to be in step three. These girl's self-esteem is so low...what do you do? That's right, become the dude in the chat! Have his same rude swagger. These girls are so grateful you're with them,sexually,they'll probably let you perform sexual acts considered a felony in some US states. Take advantage of this and practice,practice,practice. You are about to actually start humping girls that YOU actually want to hump,instead of just imagining those girls heads and certain body parts on the Uggies and Chubbies. Imagination Land is overpopulated and you're stepping into the realm of real, deal, hot, poon-tang..goodluck and Godspeed..

Step 3 Final: You are trained now young pimp. You went from skeezing on girls in chats,pounding the biggest slabs of bacon,to hitting the streets. By now you should be a big enough asshole with enough rudeness and confidence to pull just about any hottie you want! (TIP: The cute ones are at the mall dont tell ) You have the power,use it as you wish. Bang a redhead for me...*tear* ..I'm so proud.

If you're looking for feelings and stuff read my PA. I care man..I care.. Oh, SexyDeathSoda does live up to the first part of her name! Best believe Sure she lives in Canada and the chances of meeting are slim but it's something..it's something. But mostly I like proving little jokes wrong. Welcome SexyDeathsoda! once again

Allen Wayne wrote:

Ok, this might run a little long so you can't say I didn't warn you just click click down.

Fano wrote:

Or you could be woo'd by Allen's wonderful grammar. Because I would had been if I was you.
I like poking fun. But it's just fun.

If I meant it, I'd have called you low brooowwwww.

I poke a little fun myself,lemme' see if I can conjur up a poke or two....

THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE ALLEN WAYNE PIMPOLOGY METHOD. THIS FORUM DOES NOT ENDORSE OR REPRESENT THE OPINIONS OF MR. WAYNE. THIS POST IS NOT PAID FOR BY MR.WAYNE. MR.WAYNE IS PROBABLY BORED.

Fano,Fano,Fano have I got a special offer for you but first let's ask ourselves why after the advice I tried to give you in the PAs, out of concern, you insist on doubting me? I'll let it go my young friend because I like you. You have a virginal spirit and a certain untainted moxy that warms my heart. I see you day after day around the forums and in the shoutbox bleeding like a menstruating church girl in a white dress, running through a feild of wildflowers. The world is as confusing as those wildflowers and you just want a girl to hold you...I understand. You will touch your first boob if you follow my method!

Ok,I wanted to say this last night but whatever. See the new girl? The one who "could be woo'd by my wonderful grammar" as you so sarcastically and scathingly put it?(everyone had a good laugh at ole' newbie Allen's expense,I got a chuckle myself) After I posted those first two posts complete with misspelled words and general rudeness frosted by the lamest jokes this side of the internet. I got a friend request. "Well who the heck would want to add me? This must be a prank or something" I thought. After all the hours of reading all of your little shots to my ego and those hilarious quips, my confidence was a little low I admit. But it was her! No lie! No homo! She's a super pretty, older- mature lady too,come to find out,and she's really nice and funny! What could she had possibly been thinking to add someone like me? This immature, borderline illterate jackass? Why would I be the first she added out of all you handsome princes with your mastery typing skills,and mature swagggers? I'm a toad! Why? The answer is simple...

I'm a badass! :)And I can teach you Fano to be a badass too, follow these 3 simple directions and you'll be struggling to unhook your first bra in no time!

1.Ok, I-flirting is beyond L-A-M-E! However, it's a start in your journey. MSN,Yahoo,and AIM have great free instant messengers just sitting there for download that usually come equipped with chatrooms. You go in there and say the rudest stuff possible, use language that's so vulgar Red Foxx would blush in his grave. If a girl(and this can get iffy it could be a man) ever IMs you with A/S/L don't use any wit or charm,obviously that has not worked,that's why you're here. You straight up ask for titty pics! If she dances around even a step,about sending titty pics X her ass out! Move on! You're at the lowest ranks of the relationship world(chat dating) you don't have time for I-teases. It's pretty safe to bet these bitches should not be teasing and take what they can get. Eventually, after you become a regular in these rooms the girls will find your filthy mouth charming. Do this right and a couple of emoticons in a few chat sessions will have your hard drive busting open with pics of titties! Sweet sweet webcam mammaries. You have built enough confidence now to move on...

2. Fat-uggo-practice- humping! This will pull you out of being a ninja of the mastabatory arts and become the Sexual Tyrannosaurus you are about to be in step three. These girl's self-esteem is so low...what do you do? That's right, become the dude in the chat! Have his same rude swagger. These girls are so grateful you're with them,sexually,they'll probably let you perform sexual acts considered a felony in some US states. Take advantage of this and practice,practice,practice. You are about to actually start humping girls that YOU actually want to hump,instead of just imagining those girls heads and certain body parts on the Uggies and Chubbies. Imagination Land is overpopulated and you're stepping into the realm of real, deal, hot, poon-tang..goodluck and Godspeed..

Step 3 Final: You are trained now young pimp. You went from skeezing on girls in chats,pounding the biggest slabs of bacon,to hitting the streets. By now you should be a big enough asshole with enough rudeness and confidence to pull just about any hottie you want! (TIP: The cute ones are at the mall dont tell ) You have the power,use it as you wish. Bang a redhead for me...*tear* ..I'm so proud.

If you're looking for feelings and stuff read my PA. I care man..I care.. Oh, SexyDeathSoda does live up to the first part of her name! Best believe Sure she lives in Canada and the chances of meeting are slim but it's something..it's something. But mostly I like proving little jokes wrong. Welcome SexyDeathsoda! once again

Wow. Well dear Allen, *looks at clock*, how long do you figure it will take you to drive from your location to Ontario? Better yet, make you a deal. What say you, that if in...oooooh...5 years, neither one of us is married we make it official?

But I gotta meet your mom first. And take you for the requisite test drive before I make the final purchase

Thanks...you just made me smile....

Huge.

Shit. My quoting skills suck.

Alriiiiight well all I can really say is that I didn't mean to make a joke at your expense Allen. Would have made that joke for anyone. Sorry.

And I'll take your words and remember them. Thanks.