Ahoy-hoy
Umm hey there, I'm new
James Josiah' the name but you can call me JJ.
33, male, likes music, books, films same shit as everyone else.
I do however run a Flash Fiction Project but now isn't the time to spam that on you ... yet
Do you have a spare 500 Words in you?
T.J.J.F.P
1. that is pretty much my job but replace "internet" with forklift parts, I spend all my working life talking about engines and shit but don't know how to mend my own car.
I don't eat breakfast, I'm pretty much down to one meal a day but fill my calorie allowance with beer so I'm still a fat fuck and no one realises I don't really eat.
My boss wore a blue striped tie today he also wore grey pin striped trousers so it looked fucking stupid.
As for favourite sandwich its got to be the classic BLT
2. I punched a Swan once, Swans are dicks.
Do you have a spare 500 Words in you?
T.J.J.F.P
Didn't you know that this place was a swan appreciation society too?
Fuck, you're mean!
No swans are dicks its true. But thats why I appreciate them. When you look that good and are that big of a dick life has to be good.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
I was there by the river, minding my own business and these white fancy duck bitches come floating by and get all antsy just because they have chicks.
The big one gets out of the water and starts flapping its wings at me and I remembered that thing they say about them being able to break a mans arm and there is no way I was going into work the next in plaster and being the one who had his arm broken by a goose
So I hit it
Do you have a spare 500 Words in you?
T.J.J.F.P
...And probably maimed it for life. You could've just walked away.
...holly shit, you are a dick. You actually punched it? I have some duck and geese friends. If they catch wind of this you are fucked. They are vengefull.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
It's true, geese are dicks.
This is why Pepper is my hero.
She mindfucks 'em.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Pepper is a true hero.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
What's your novel about?
Yeah be careful buddy, I've got a seriously lonely goose out there with mommy issues just waiting to do my bidding.
Build an army, Pep. Build an army.
This is why we can't have nice things.
An army of Giant Fish and Abandoned Water Fowl!
I have a gaggle of geese and ducks that I am good friends with, a few blue herrings and some nutria palls that. With our forces imagine what we could do.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
Think this guy will ever come back?
His Intro thread went south pretty fast.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Mother fucker punched a goose. We like geese around here. He can come back but only if the goose gets an open shot.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
Dude, geese are violent, random, and mean.
This is why we can't have nice things.
So are children.
And those things are also sticky and slobbery.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
Children are sticky, slobbery, violent, mean. But not random. Kids are very methodical. And if ya think they are random, they have already won.
That, my friend, is where geese and children differ.
I'm not too fond of children either, even my own.
Do you have a spare 500 Words in you?
T.J.J.F.P
Oh, I love kids. I work in a drop-off day care center (still waiting around for teaching job).
But, it's like working with tigers. You love them, but you have to know their nature or they will rip your mutherflippin' head off.
This.
Hey JJ!
Conquer all the Rivers! if nothing else. ha
Dominate the ponds. Take control of the world's breadcrumb supply.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Conquer all the Rivers! if nothing else. ha
I have all sorts of bird friends. We will run the skies and the wetlands.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
The skys and the wetlands and all who wish to bake meat loaf or bread chicken breasts or make a holiday stuffing must make homage and beg the use of our bread crumbs!
I got chased by a goose on my way home from school once and it was biting my heel, in front of other people who already mocked me, and for a little while they stopped calling me a dyke and started honking at me instead. I wouldn't hit a bird though, come on.
I've depressed myself.
A goose yelled at me when I walked passed it's family once. No attack though. It just watched me walk away and went MBAHK!
MBAHK!
MBAHK!
MBAHK!
MBAHK!
MBAHK!
MBAHK!
MBAHK!
MBAHK!
MBAHK!
MBAHK!
MBAHK!
MBAHK!
MBAHK!
MBAHK!
MBAHK!
MBAHK!
MBAHK!
MBAHK!
And then it stopped after some distance, so I turned back to look at it and it was still staring at me and went
MBAHK!
MBAHK!
MBAHK!
MBAHK!
MBAHK!
MBAHK!
Until I was completely out of it's sight.
I had a goose come at me ready for battle. So I gave it a slice of bread. Then it just got confused and ran off.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
Hi everybody......i am Jayden Tyler. How are you..?
I am new here.
Okay so hear we all go. These are important questions that need real truthfull responses.
1) You just get a job working for a phone company, inbound calls having something to do with internet. Nothing to fancy but your stuck at a desk with limite internet access. Your direct Manager comes over to you and says he wants to have a meeting with you and his boss. You walk into one of the side rooms and a horse is sitting there wearing a really nice tie and cufflinks. What did you have for breakfast? What color is your boss's tie? And how what is your favorite sandwitch. Be as specific as possible.
2) If you could punch any animal and get away wioth it what animal would it be and why?
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy