3:10 to The Cult
I guess I owe this to Kirk. You see. I mistook my commenting on another's Introduction thread as starting my own. Oops.
You're right. I should get involved in those things... and maybe a little down the line I actually will. But that is not the definition of my character. I'm not one to sit back and idly wait. Today... I just want to fuck... so screw all the foreplay involved in welcome centers and getting involved. I'm a new member, and I have already made a few quick stabs at them, but I'm just exploiting my current emotions here... I don't want to be a line in the bottom of a group meeting pamphlet. I want to be the neon billboard screaming at you from Times Square.
So parts of the quoted text is false, and since it seems things around this site are punishable by death I better right my wrongs before I am black bagged by Creedy's men.
Hello All,
I'm Johnny ______. If I told you my last name you'd A) laugh, 
swear I was lying, C) call my mother and ask her why, D) all of the above. I'm an older than average student, at 28, who's still trying to hunt down a degree. I have one certificate from the U.S. Air Force that says I'm could at reading manuals and connecting wires. I live in a nice area outside of Philadelphia, but am quickly moving into the ghetto so I can make things interesting. My friends, family, and peers throughout work and school exhibit a flippant love/hate relationship with me because I can be one of the funniest and yet most intolerable people you have ever met. My girlfriend loves my jokes and my cooking, and I love crazy redheads.. so it all works out.
I will probably be a great go to person if you want something read with honest critique, but you have to realize I am not the person to hold back my opinions. I'm looking to validate some of my past work and gain insight for the direction of my current projects. So if you want some kind of healthy interchange about ideas and Palahniuk still isn't returning your calls... I could be a good interim counselor.
I'm not sure what else to say to you. Right now researching Suit-Up Scene while listening to Circa Survive. Later I have to write a research paper about the failings of higher education and try to catch up in a college math course. My stomach is grumbling so maybe I should eat. Maybe I need to take a shit.
So grab a roll of TP and lets exchange some playful banter. Maybe we can even play a game of BattleShits. Time to play spacedock with the porcelain goddess.
Bowels Away,
-J.
Hey welcome. Now you know you've just made people want to know your last name. Is it amusingly evil naming like Johnny Johnson? Or Johnny Rubber?
As for
Time to play spacedock with the porcelain goddess.
Spacedocking means something way different in the UK. To my filthy mind anyway!
"What cha readin' fer??"
It has the same (slang) meaning here in the states. Though I don't think it is well known.
Bingo Thessilian on your first guess of my last name. It is amusingly evil, but also pretty endearing. It's as if my name precedes me in the form of some comedic vehicle. You should hear how often, "Ayyy! Johnny Johnson!!" is shouted when I enter a room. It's like I'm always riding piggy-back on Arthur Herbert Fonzarelli. I hated it as a child, but I love it now.
As for my military career Kirk, I was an avionics technician specializing in what was called electronic warfare. Strip away the glory in that name and I was not like Q from Bond, but rather a technician working on radar jamming systems and electronic countermeasures (aka chaff & flare systems). It wasn't too bad a gig, but nothing like working in a missile defense bunker. And I did admire your site. Your work? Design? I just wandered around a bit, but I didn't get into the design/ownership credits.
oh an just to abuse Urban Dictionary, here's spacedock in a nutshell:
spacedock
v. spacedocked, spacedock·ing, spacedocks1. An activity performed in space during which two seperate vehicles or stations form an airtight attachment to each other, temporatily or permanantly.
2. A sexual activity performed before or after sexual intercourse, during which a man voids the contents of his bowels (feces) into a woman's vulva. Experts are unsure as to whether the act of spacedocking has ever been successfully completed, due to its extreme and lewd nature.
1. Shut up, I need to study this spacedocking manual if I'm ever going to be an astronaut.2. Hey baby, wanna spacedock?
just one of the strange things you hear daily in my college.
One of the things I loved in Catch 22 was the character Major Major Major Major. (3 names, 1 army rank). It almost made me want to find a suitably surnamed bloke then spawn children, just to see how creative I could be.
Kudos on your name, it is indeed a good one.
"What cha readin' fer??"
I'll get this party started.
What sort of stuff did you do in the Air Force? I had a pal who was a real physics nerd. Last I talked to him he was one of those guys that sits in a missile defense bunker, which actually seemed like a decent gig. He made a good living and from what I gather, worked fireman-hours, 2 days on 2 days off.
And I insist that I'm not posting simply because you mentioned my website.