1600s Carribean Gangstas
Hello Cult.
Instead of telling you all about how I found Chuck and accepted him as my personal savior, I'm going to tell you a true story about pirates.
One night I decided to order Thai food. I have an apartment in one of those really old buildings from the 20s that necessitates I wait outside for any deliveries of this nature. No intercoms and what not, y'know? It was late at night, proll'y after midnight, and pretty cold out. The street I live on - narrow, crowded and old - was filled with fog. I could smell the ocean - that combination of salt, water and decaying organic matter. I like that smell.
My Thai food is running late, but that's okay - I don't mind being outside. Kinda like it, actually. I was just waiting on the step, trying hard not too look like a thug, when I saw the pirates. There were about five of 'em, decked out in fully pirate regalia. Long coats with gold accents, tri-corner hats, swords, billowing shirts. These men had eye patches, metal cups, and were flush with plunder. The mass of them staggered up the street, singing and carousing, groping their pirate ladies in a scandalous display of skullduggery. A hundred times more authentic than what's-his-name from 21st jump street, these guys were straight 1600s Carribean gangstas, G. The whole lot of 'em stopped at the corner, and went into my favorite bar. A couple minutes later one of 'em comes out and raises the Jolly Roger over the entrance.
Pirates, for really-real pirates, took over the bar. True story.
Now, in leui of narrative exposition, I'll provide a list of eight random things about me.
1) I test video games for a living, at night, but not every night.
2) I thumb wrestle at the drop of a hat. It's like my idle animation.
3) My favorite artist is Basquiat, and painting is Untitled (Red Man).
4) Chances are I am significantly taller than you.
5) When the drive spins, my iPod feels like it has a heartbeat and I like that.
6) I live in Long Beach, near downtown.
7) I invented pants.
8) One of these statements is a lie.
-Randolph
Thanks for the coffee. It's early and I need it.
Testing video games isn't such a bad gig. The actual testing process is pretty dependant on the developer and production team, but all in all it's usually a good deal. The pay is miserable to start, but I've been at it long enough to make decent wages. The hours can be rough, with 72 hour weeks not being all that rare.
Having done this five years, I don't play games outside of work too often anymore. In fact, I sold all my consoles and will be selling my PC pretty soon. Most of the people here keep playin' 'em in and out of work though, so I guess I'm the exception.
What else do you want to know?
[QUOTE=Randolph]What else do you want to know?[/QUOTE]
what's the worst gam you ever tested and why was it so bad?
Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines. The end product isn't bad, but it's nowhere near as good as I think it could have been. The hours were miserable, the test facility poorly equipped, and we had some real idiots working on it. None of the horror stories would seem that horrible without the context of the full test environment, so I won't elaborate. Suffice to say, it was rough.
A little more about pirates.
A few months after my initial encounter I learned the pirates I’d seen were part of a band that played old sea shanties. They dress up as pirates, as do their fans, and they all get drunk and sing these old songs.
The next time they played I went to see them with my friend Tim. We split a couple pitchers, smoked some cigarettes, and tried really hard to pretend the band was any good. Mostly, we smoked a lot of cigarettes.
A couple hours and a couple pitchers into the night, one of the local crack heads came over and asked Tim for change. Tim gave him a cigarette instead, and the guy says “Sure are a lot of pirates out tonight.” He says this all matter-of-fact like, the way you imagine some guy from Maine sayin’ “Gonna be a hot one, this summer” or some other colloquialism.
Tim says, “They’re back form shore leave.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. They were on assignment in Spain. Scouting for a new pirate island. The last one got taken over by the Navy.”
“I heard about that.”
“Yeah. Y’know, they hit some Dutch merchant ships on the way back. I hear these guys are loaded with [i]pesos de ochas[/i]. Maybe they could help you out with some change?”
“Good idea, man. Thanks!”
The last we saw of that guy he was literally running after two drunk pirates trying to get into their Camry.
Later that night Tim disappeared and I had a one-night stand with some really crazy girl named Wendy. That was the first time I heard pirate music, and the first time I got picked up in a bar by a stranger.
Snuffy - you mentioned Buk's in one of your posts. Were you referring to the Bukowski's in Boston?
[QUOTE=Randolph]Snuffy - you mentioned Buk's in one of your posts. Were you referring to the Bukowski's in Boston?[/QUOTE]
Well, there is two that I know of. One Bukowski's is in Downtown Boston near Berklee, the other is in Inman Square in Cambridge. I was referring to the one in Cambridge, but I have been to the one in Boston many times.
The Boston one is pretty cool, but it gets damn loud in there, so it's hard to have a conversation. and, they only serve beer and wine.
The cambridge one is completely different, more friendly service, less prestige.
YOu been to the one in boston?
I have never been farther east than Wisconsin. I have a friend who's a regular at Buk's, I think Inman Square, though I'm not positive. I was just curious.
[QUOTE=Randolph]I have never been farther east than Wisconsin. I have a friend who's a regular at Buk's, I think Inman Square, though I'm not positive. I was just curious.[/QUOTE]
I've only been there twice. It is directly next to the best restaurant EVER, The East Coast Grill. Ask your friend about that place. It's soooooo goooooood, if you like seafood.
I do like the seafood, and I'll conceed the north east likely has great crabs and lobstrosities, but California ranks pretty high there too. I challenge your best-restaurant ever claim.
What's great and sad at the same time, Randolph, is that your conversational posts are worded so well. Some people can't write that well no matter what depended on it, and you seem to just write like this naturally.
Nice to meet you.
Yar!
| adj | facebook | an american atheist| warmed and bound |
[QUOTE=Randolph]I do like the seafood, and I'll conceed the north east likely has great crabs and lobstrosities, but California ranks pretty high there too. I challenge your best-restaurant ever claim.[/QUOTE]
It's pretty damn good, dude, i don't know. Really good raw bar, if your into breaking the bank to pay for it!
Thank you, Ire. Now that I've been complimented I'll have to live up to it. There goes my plan of single-word posts where I misspell "fucker". [i]C'est la vie.[/i] To be honest, the principal reason I joined the Cult was the generally high quality of communicative skills folks seem to have.
There are signs hanging at the beach warning people not to eat various fish they catch due to high levels of mercury and gas additives. I'm conceeding seafood to you, and more specifically the northeast. You win this round, Snuffy.
How does one get a job beta-testing video games? And you can live off of it?
I was here. Then I wasn't. Then I was again.
The game industry is basically split into two categories, publishers and developers. Publishers are usually large companies responsible for handling customer support, QA testing, marketing, replication and all the other business elements of a games creation. Publishers tend to have large QA teams working year round, or close to it. The bigger ones have QA teams running twenty-four hours a day, every day. Most publishers are located in or around Los Angeles.
Developers go about the business of actually making the game. They tend to be small companies, with very limited staffing. Some do have their own internal QA teams, but not all of them. Developers are spread across the planet.
If you're lucky enough to have a local publisher, getting a QA job is usually as simple as just sending a resume to their HR department. Some companies will give you tests to check your technical and observational skills, but not all of 'em. The pay isn't great, but it's typically enough to live on. Most publishers hire on as temps without benefits, though most also convert their better testers to full-time employees.
Getting work at a development company is a little more complex. They will typically want someone with experience, or at least skills they can apply to other aspects of their operations. I'd still send in a resume, but it's a much harder world to get into. Most people start with a publisher.
If you want to tell me what city you live in, I can give you an idea of what companies are around.
8) One of these statements is a lie.
It's this one, isn't it?
There is hope, but not for us.
It's number eight, Jane. You figured it out, so I owe you a prize.
Wait, number eight or number seven?
There is hope, but not for us.
My subtle ruse failed. It was number seven, the thing about the pants. Now I guess I owe you two prizes.
Can one of the prizes be made of chocolate?
There is hope, but not for us.
Sure. I suppose they both could, if you like.
Whenever I think of pirates, I imagine the band Mötley Crüe circa 1987. Bunch a hooligans, they are. Blasted pirates. Can't be trusted.
You get a free cup of coffee because you used the word "skullduggery."
[img]http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/images/300/coffee.jpg[/img]
Welcome to The Cult!
I wanna hear more about this video game job. Is working for video games like working for porn, as in, do you become desensitized and it loses it's fun?