whats the worst movie you ever saw?

Worst as in wow this is so bad it's fun low-budget Ed Wood MST3K type stuff?

Or worst an in major Hollywood so boring I rented it twice on consecutive weekends because it left zero impression?

'Cause I've done that. Can't remember what it was though. That movie is like a cypher to me; I need to tattoo it on my arm like in Memento, "Don't watch XXXXXX XXX". Now if I could just remember what it is long enough to write it down.

I actually enjoy a lot of old bad films. It's the new, non-entity ones that really suck.

worst as in JESUS-H-TITTY-FUCKING-CHRIST that was an awful goddamn movie. anything which is cinema (and not straight to home theater medium)
-foreign
-domestic
-indie
-hollywood bullshit

its up to you, really. all i know is for the love of god mst3k could only help the chung-king express, but so would ad-lib english dialogue of any sort.

Comic Book Adaptation Blockbusters then.

X-Men 2 was bad. 3 was downright awful.

All the Batman movies after Tim Burton until the two new ones which were decent.

All the Spiderman films and both the Fantastic Four films. Hulk. Hulk II: The Do-Over (haven't actually seen that. Don't need to.)

They will keep making these and I will keep watching them waiting for another decent one like Iron Man.

I actually went into Punisher expecting the worst so I was able to enjoy it on a certain level.

There are more, but these are easy.

Oliver Stone's Alexander

I wouldn't know about the worst movie I ever saw, but there are some that I didn't enjoy at all. People won't like this, but one of them was Sin City. I fell asleep.

ARMAGEDDON!!!!!! worst movie ever. i get so angry just thinking that anyone enjoyed this movie on any level, and i want to open up their heads (very delicately, not like with a hammer but with a stryker saw) and look in there to see what part somehow jerked and fluked and made it possible for them to enjoy it - AND THEN CUT THAT PART OUT (of course afterwards i would carefully and gently put them back together in much better condition than before).

maybe this was more suited to the rage thread. but i seriously hate Armageddon.

*Anything that has ever been touched by Michael Bay (though I kind of liked The Island, even if it was a shameless, CGI-reamed ripoff of Logan's Run)
*W Network made for TV movies
*88 Minutes was pretty god awful
And then, there's this fantastic looking piece of shit, which I will inevitably wind up seeing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1-cK5P4EDE

Is Jerry Bruckheimer even trying anymore?

yeah, transformers was just embarrassing.

Gerry.

House of Blood comes in second while also being the BEST movie ever.

...permission to shake the hand of the mother of the daughter whose mother really hates bad Michael Bay movies...

THIS! Perfect answer! When you think about the time, efforts, and huge fucking pile of money that went into making a movie that looked like shit, sounded like shit, and had a shit plot, THIS above all others is the worst movie of all time.

You remember that supposed Transformers test animation that appeared online a couple years ago? The one where the truck turns into O'Prime?

That little clip was in every way superior to the Transformers movie.

PUT THE CUBE IN MY CHEST, SAM

Vertical Limit, I fell asleep.

My answer forever&always will be Vanilla Sky.

Brown Bunny is a close second, but fails on the grandiose scale.

Joshua! With our good friend Sam Rockwell. The entire movie was nothing but a baby screaming and dull piano music.

ruined the entire series, which was such a great series

The Charlie's Angels movie was on TV and I turned it off halfway thru.

I'm sure there's far worse that I had the insight to avoid.

Spacemonkey, ugh, that's one of the other movies I hated! Indiana Jones... I can't believe my boyfriend managed to talk me into watching that one. The worst part is, he didn't like it either.

From 2002, Gus Van Zant's Gerry has far and away surpassed the absolute worst of the worst films I have ever seen. This movie makes Ed Wood look like Orson Welles, Uwe Boll is Kurasawa.

Saw this coming on late one night and decided to DVR it. Gus van zant directs, with Casey Affleck and Matt Damon. Sounded interesting enough to check out. The biggest mistake of my lifelong movie watching career!

This movie is 1 hour and 50 minutes long. Emphasis on the LONG. The synopsis: two men get out of there car and after walking about 20 feet, become hopelessly lost in the desert. They spend the entire movie walking. AND THAT"S IT! Nothing happens. There's no talking between them. No music. Nothing!

In the entire movie there is less than 15 minutes of dialogue. That is not a pissed off viewers exaggeration. That is a timed by the clock fact! 29 minutes in, Matt Damon starts piling dirt for Affleck to jump off a rock. He does this for 15 minutes! until 42 minutes into the movie! The entire time there is a minute and a half of dialogue spread throughout!

Now you might be thinking with a wide open desert as the setting maybe there's some breathtaking panoramic shots of a beautiful horizon. Nope. Everything is a grey and sandy brown blur.

Finally, after 1 hour and 12 minutes of hearing nothing but feet shuffle through dirt, there is a little 5 minute somber musical number as we watch the two guys look around in contemplation. Without speaking one word to each other!

1 hour, 29 minute mark begins the action packed watch them lay down on the ground and not say or do anything for 6 more minutes. This makes all the boring walking parts of Lord of the Rings look like the car chase from French Connection!

Now this whole time I'm thinking, "OK, atthe end they'll probably go into some big to do philosophical dialogue about some bullshit or whatever." Nope. Nothing is said or done in the entire last 30 minutes and then it goes to a plain blue screen and credits roll.

I am convinced this movie was made as a joke. It's the only explanation I can come up with that doesn't make my brain implode from it's stupidity. Van Zant put this piece of shit out there just to get a laugh at all the pretentious "film afficiandos" to start dissecting it and finding all this [i]meaning[/i] and subtext and whatever and he's just gigling his ass off knowing there isn't any. it's got to be that! If not, than there truly is no God in heaven!

I think you put too much emphasis and dialogue into how shitty of a movie it was. You're right, it was pretty bad, but I can't see it being worse than Ed Woods movies.....

spacemonkey1888 wrote:

ruined the entire series, which was such a great series

Maybe if you'd watched it in English...

I feel the same way about Psycho Beach Party

monkeywright, no. no, spanish would not bother me. There is no language on the planet that could make it better. Except maybe Klingon

I gotta say, In Bruges, was the worst movie i've seen that I thought would actually be good. I still think it was a good movie, but it just felt like it was directed by two completely different people from beginning to end. Just off-kilter.

The Cube, and Cube Zero.

Yeah.

you forgetting Cube Squared......yeah

I never made it that far.....

Only movie I ever walked out of was that Howard Stern movie. I don't even know why I went. The other movie that I have to say sucked that I paid to go see was mafia (?) starring jay Mohr. I was on a date and she wanted to see it. Had I not got some later I would've called this a bad night.

I really liked In Bruges. It was a bit uneven, but nothing that for me would force it into any kind of "worst" category...

that reminded me of my previous worst movie ever. Sleepers! God what a trainwreck. Such a good cast too. The joke was Sleepers was the only movie that I've ever actually fallen asleep in it was so boring.

The Arrival with Charlie Sheen. The worst X-Files episode is more compelling and interesting then that piece of trash. It made me so angry I wanted to punch nuns.

the little black kid with the backwards knees was the best thing in that movie.

I'm sure that I've seen far worse movies, but one huge disappointment that spring to mind is IDIOCRACY. There was really nothing I liked about it.

whilst on the topic of bad movies, everyone oughta check out Cinematic Titanic if you haven't already. Bunch of the guys from MST3K new gig.
RiffTrax is good too, but there's just something that makes it especially funny with the little silhouettes there.

also, other movies with the same effect:
-sideways, which i believe won some award for comedy, was the most droll thing i have ever seen. the characters were despicable, the plot wasnt even serviceable, and there was nothing comedic about it. all that film did was cement that i would never ever like paul giamonti in anything. he is forever some crybaby wine snob in my brain now.

speaking of paul giamatti. Lady in The Water was one that I thought could have been incredible, if it had been written better and had a different director.

But then I guess that could be said about anything...

Sideways was a bore, I don't get what all the fuss was about.

I can't really think of anything, very bad films seem to vanish from my memory and I have trouble remembering them, but I watched one a few days ago that was quite terrible, especially coming from the director. Kitano's first American film, Brother.

Talking of Gerry, I found Sant's Paranoid Park extremely boring and I nodded off quite a lot. So if you want to put yourself through film hell again NP, watch this.

Noooooooooooo!

I didn't like In Bruges the first time around but I think it gets better with each viewing. I think it was HIGHLY misleading that they considered this a "dark comedy" when it was actually very depressing with very few funny moments.

Indiana Jones - Kingdom of the crystal skull is actually worse than Temple of doom...which I never thought that would be possible. But I wouldn't say that it ruined the series. I just like to pretend those 2 don't exist.

The Notebook. awful movie.

Dude, Mafia was worthwhile...that scene where he's squeezing oil out of the olives one by one, and at the end of the day, his boss cuts a penny in half with scissors and says, "You do a very good job, I give you the big half."

Also, Rosemary's Baby was a major mofuggin letdown. I didn't much like Chinatown either, but I was watching it while doing homework so perhaps I shouldn't mention it. I was waiting for Rosemary's Baby to end the entire time, and with 5 minutes left, it gets interesting. For a second I wished it would continue, but no. Maybe not the worst, but very likely the most overrated film ever.

And if anyone actually found that trippy old people rape scene scary, then your threshold for fear is that of an eight year old.

Eight year olds, Dude.

HAIL SATAN!

i don't think the naked old people rape scene was SCARY - but old people satanic orgies are not something i like to think about before falling asleep, just the same.

So for a while I thought "Freddy Got Fingered" was the worst movie ever. It was the only movie I couldn't sit all the way through.

But then I watched Trauma's "War", and I remembered that I hate Trauma movies, and it was even worse.

Then I watched "House of the Dead" and realized that even for a videogame to movie adaptation, it was the worst movie ever. And I was content with that for many years.

But just last week I watched about ten minutes of "Poultry Giest: Night of the Chicken Dead" and I remembered that I HATE Trauma movies.

Of course, this thread would not be complete if someone didn't mention "Manos: Hands of Fate".

I was just thinking of that one. It's terrible!!

I loved Idiocracy it reminds me of my life at work.