Happy Birthday, Bill Murray !
I ever tell you the story about the time I got taken-out by Bill Murray?
This is why we can't have nice things.
This is a true story. My uncle had a liquor store in Orange County when I was younger. Next door was a Perry’s Pizza and across the street was a sporting complex with a skate park, hockey rinks, soccer fields, tennis courts and the such so we used to get a lot of punk kids coming in and trying to steal candy and porno mags all the time. I was working there alone one night at about 10pm on a weekday, it was kind of slow and I was just watching some COPS on the piece of shit TV behind the counter when I hear the doorbell ring. I look up and in walks a 16-or-so year old kid hunched over with his hands in a blue hoodie pulled over his head, eyes darting nervously between me and the beverage coolers at the opposite end of the store. I’m sitting here thinking to myself this kid looks shady but decide he probably doesn’t have the nuts to try and steal something so I forget about him and go back to watching the Las Vegas police beat up on crackheads.
About thirty seconds later I hear the clamoring of footsteps and look up to see the kid with two forties of Mickey’s in his hands almost out the door. He looks back at me with a mocking, I-told-you-so smirk and I stand up to give chase but just as he is about to cross the threshold a man steps out from behind the hostess rack and clotheslines the little punk right across the throat; his feet went straight up in the air as he emitted an audible “unggh!” right before gravity body slammed him to the tile floor. The kid was out. The man looked at me stoic-faced, like nothing had happened, and i’ll be damned if it wasn’t Bill-fucking-Murray! I stand there with my mouth agape looking dumbfounded, still trying to figure out what just happened and not believing Dr. Venkman is standing right in front of me. With no emotion he walks over to me, throws a twenty dollar bill on the counter and says, “no one will ever believe you” before stepping over the kid and walking out. Weirdest night ever.
So... I guess I don't need to tell the story about the time I got taken-out by Bill Murray then....
This is why we can't have nice things.
Where's Jason? He needs to see this!
"I hope you realise the story you're telling yourself, because every day you die for it."
I love you bill murrey but you are died!
About thirty seconds later I hear the clamoring of footsteps and look up to see the kid with two forties of Mickey’s in his hands almost out the door. He looks back at me with a mocking, I-told-you-so smirk and I stand up to give chase but just as he is about to cross the threshold a man steps out from behind the hostess rack and clotheslines the little punk right across the throat; his feet went straight up in the air as he emitted an audible “unggh!” right before gravity body slammed him to the tile floor. The kid was out. The man looked at me stoic-faced, like nothing had happened, and i’ll be damned if it wasn’t Bill-fucking-Murray! I stand there with my mouth agape looking dumbfounded, still trying to figure out what just happened and not believing Dr. Venkman is standing right in front of me. With no emotion he walks over to me, throws a twenty dollar bill on the counter and says, “no one will ever believe you” before stepping over the kid and walking out. Weirdest night ever.
lol that was great
Still think he was an awesome Hunter Thompson 
Happy birthday Mr. Murray!
"For most of this century, scientists have worshiped the hardware of the brain and the software of the mind; the messy powers of the heart were left to the poets."
Say it's his birthday all you want.
Nobody will ever believe you.