Cult Songs

on top of old [COLOR=Red][SIZE=3]Snuffy [/SIZE][/COLOR] all covered in blood,
he found his true lover with his face in the mud,
there was a big hatchet in the back of his head,
and that is the reason he took him for dead,
he rolled him right over and to his surprise,
his face was all covered with maggots and flies,
who could have done such a horrible deed,
it must have been [SIZE=3][COLOR=Purple]Quimby[/COLOR][/SIZE],
that dirty half breed!

[QUOTE=Parkaboy]on top of old [COLOR=Red][SIZE=3]Snuffy [/SIZE][/COLOR] all covered in blood,
he found his true lover with his face in the mud,
there was a big hatchet in the back of his head,
and that is the reason he took him for dead,
he rolled him right over and to his surprise,
his face was all covered with maggots and flies,
who could have done such a horrible deed,
it must have been [SIZE=3][COLOR=Purple]Quimby[/COLOR][/SIZE],
that dirty half breed![/QUOTE]
you are dead to me.

[QUOTE=vidalia]you are dead to me.[/QUOTE]

"Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds"

J. Robert Oppenheimer (quoting the Bhagavad Gita)

these little fuckers are adorable. they're huddling together in fear right now, so i'm playing belle & sebastian very softly and hoping they'll finish their apple slices.

[QUOTE=vidalia]these little fuckers are adorable. they're huddling together in fear right now, so i'm playing belle & sebastian very softly and hoping they'll finish their apple slices.[/QUOTE]

You girls and your belle & sebastian. What is this belle & sebastian anyway? It sounds like a Disney movie that got scrapped to me.

they're scottish and adorable. the bassist has a great side project called "looper." also good. give em a chance.

Dandy Warhols - Hard On for Jesus (great effing song)

[I]Oh yeah, [B]Jeebus[/B]
You got me going.
And I know, just like I know,
No way of knowing.

I gotta have faith,
I gotta believe
That the lord of lords and
The king of kings
Come and set me free.

[B]Jeebus[/B].
[B]Jeebus[/B].

That’s all folks....[/I]

[QUOTE=walkingcontradiction]Dandy Warhols - Hard On for Jesus (great effing song)

[I]Oh yeah, [B]Jeebus[/B]
You got me going.
And I know, just like I know,
No way of knowing.

I gotta have faith,
I gotta believe
That the lord of lords and
The king of kings
Come and set me free.

[B]Jeebus[/B].
[B]Jeebus[/B].

That’s all folks....[/I][/QUOTE]
that works so well. i love that song. good thinking. i had that on a mix tape with the onion's recording of the guy in confession talking about how hot he thinks jesus is - high-larious.

i'm serious, not sarcastic here, i swear on my new guinea pigs that everyone wants to eat.

[QUOTE=vidalia]that works so well. i love that song. good thinking. i had that on a mix tape with the onion's recording of the guy in confession talking about how hot he thinks jesus is - high-larious.

i'm serious, not sarcastic here, i swear on my new guinea pigs that everyone wants to eat.[/QUOTE]
Uh... [I]excuse me[/I]?

I wanted to see them commit homocide?

[QUOTE=vidalia]that works so well. i love that song. good thinking. [/QUOTE]

thank you
*curtsies and exits*

[QUOTE=walkingcontradiction]thank you
*curtsies and exits*[/QUOTE]
oh yeah and the Mr. Hashy - Santa baby thing was cute

[QUOTE=mr_hash]oh yeah and the Mr. Hashy - Santa baby thing was cute[/QUOTE]
*Comes back on stage...*

thank you *winks and exits*

[U]I want a hippopotamous for Christmas[/U]

[I]I want an [B]irelocus[/B] for Christmas
Only an [B]irelocus[/B] will do
Don't want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy
I want an [B]irelocus[/B] to play with and enjoy

I want an[B] irelocus[/B] for Christmas
I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won't have to use our dirty chimney flue
Just bring him through the front door,
that's the easy thing to do

I can see me now on Christmas morning,
creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise
when I open up my eyes
to see an [B]irelocus[/B] standing there

I want an [B]irelocus[/B] for Christmas
Only as [B]irelocus[/B] will do
No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses
I only like[B] irelocuses[/B]
And[B] irelocuses [/B] like me too

Mom says the [B]Ire[/B] would eat me up, but then
Teacher says an[B] Ire[/B] is a vegeterian[/I]

edit: parts of that now seem a bit wrong...

Your own personal [B]Jeebus[/B]
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own personal [B]Jeebus[/B]
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who’s there

Feeling unknown
And you’re all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I’ll make you a believer

Take second best
Put me to the test
Things on your chest
You need to confess
I will deliver
You know I’m a forgiver

Reach out and touch faith
Reach out and touch faith

Your own personal [B]Jeebus[/B]...

Feeling unknown
And you’re all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I’ll make you a believer

I will deliver
You know I’m a forgiver

Reach out and touch faith

Your own personal [B]Jeebus[/B]

Reach out and touch faith

i was gonna use that song, but i thought doing two songs for jeebus with in a matter of a day would be strange. i'm glad you did.

[QUOTE=walkingcontradiction]i was gonna use that song, but i thought doing two songs for jeebus with in a matter of a day would be strange. i'm glad you did.[/QUOTE]
I kept thinking about it, I was waiting for somebody else to do it, but then I figured with all the Jeebus songs going up it needed to be done

[B]Tool Undertow[/B]
I’m back down beneath the [B]undertow[/B].
I’m almost in all the way. I’m in the [B]undertow[/B].
Way down beneath the [B]undertow[/B].
There doesn’t seem no other way out of the [B]undertow[/B].

You’re a mean one [b]Mr Hash[/b]
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
And as charming as an eel,
[b]Mr Hash[/b]!
You're a bad banana,
With a greasy black peel!
You're a monster, [b]Mr Hash[/b]!
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders.
You've got garlic in your soul,
[b]Mr Hash[/b]!
I wouldn't touch you
With a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!
You're a vile one, [b]Mr Hash[/b]!
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile,
[b]Mr Hash[/b]!
Given the choice between the two of you,
I'd take the seasick crocodile!
You're a foul one, [b]Mr Hash[/b]!
You're a nasty, wasty skunk!
Your heart is full of unwashed socks.
Your soul is full of gunk,
[b]Mr Hash[/b]!
The three words that best describe you
Are as follows, and I quote,
"Stink, stank, stunk!"
You're a rotter, [b]Mr Hash[/b]!
You're the king of sinful sots!
Your heart's a dead tomato,
Splotched with moldy, purple spots,
[b]Mr Hash[/b]!
Your soul is an apalling dump-heap,
Overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled-up in tangled-up knots!
You nauseate me, [b]Mr Hash[/b]!
With a nauseous super naus!
You're a crooked jerky jockey,
And you drive a crooked hoss,
[b]Mr Hash[/b] !
You're a three-decker sauerkraut
and toadstool sandwich,
With arsenic sauce!

Oh my god I looooove the grinch who stole christmas (not the Jim Carry version)

cant believe no ones used that one yet

[QUOTE=walkingcontradiction][U]I want a hippopotamous for Christmas[/U]

[I]I want an [B]irelocus[/B] for Christmas
Only an [B]irelocus[/B] will do
Don't want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy
I want an [B]irelocus[/B] to play with and enjoy

I want an[B] irelocus[/B] for Christmas
I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won't have to use our dirty chimney flue
Just bring him through the front door,
that's the easy thing to do

I can see me now on Christmas morning,
creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise
when I open up my eyes
to see an [B]irelocus[/B] standing there

I want an [B]irelocus[/B] for Christmas
Only as [B]irelocus[/B] will do
No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses
I only like[B] irelocuses[/B]
And[B] irelocuses [/B] like me too

Mom says the [B]Ire[/B] would eat me up, but then
Teacher says an[B] Ire[/B] is a vegeterian[/I]

edit: parts of that now seem a bit wrong...[/QUOTE]

oh, I'm wanted. yay.

[b]Akiama[/b] got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog,
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she'd left her medication,
So she stumbled out the door into the snow.

When they found her Christmas mornin',
At the scene of the attack.
There were hoof prints on her forehead,
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.

[b]Akiama[/b] got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now were all so proud of Grandpa,
He's been takin' this so well.
See him in there watchin' football,
Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle.

It's not Christmas without [b]Akiama[/b].
All the family's dressed in black.
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?

[b]Akiama[/b] got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of fig.
And a blue and silver candle,
That would just have matched the hair in [b]Akiama[/b]'s wig.

I've warned all my friends and neighbours.
Better watch out for yourselves."
They should never give a license,
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.

[b]Akiama[/b] got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house, Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

[QUOTE=ireLocus]oh, I'm wanted. yay.[/QUOTE]
indeed.

isnt that song great?

I'm Mister Green Christmas
I'm Mister Sun
I'm Mister Heat Blister
I'm Mister Hundred and One
They call me [b]Parkaboy[/b],
What ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
I'm too much!

He's Mister Green Christmas
He's Mister Sun
He's Mister Heat Blister
He's Mister Hundred and One
[[b]Parkaboy[/b]]
They call me [b]Parkaboy[/b],
What ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch

He's too much!
[[b]Parkaboy[/b]]
Thank you!
I never want to see a day
That's under sixty degrees
I'd rather have it eighty,
Ninety, one hundred degrees!

Oh, some like it hot, but I like it really hot! Hee hee!

He's Mister Green Christmas
He's Mister Sun
[[b]Parkaboy[/b]]
Sing it!

He's Mister Heat Blister
He's Mister Hundred and One
[[b]Parkaboy[/b]]
They call me [b]Parkaboy[/b],
What ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
I'm too much!

Too Much!

I'm Mister White Christmas
I'm Mister Snow
I'm Mister Icicle
I'm Mister Ten Below
Friends call me [b]Brock Landers[/b]
What ever I touch
Turns to snow in my clutch
I'm too much!

He's Mister White Christmas
He's Mister Snow
[[b]Brock Landers[/b]]
That's right!

He's Mister Icicle
He's Mister Ten Below
[[b]Brock Landers[/b]]
Friends call me [b]Brock Landers[/b],
What ever I touch
Turns to snow in my clutch

He's too much!
[[b]Brock Landers[/b]]
I never want to see a day
That's over forty degrees
I'd rather have it thirty,
Twenty, ten, five and let it freeeeEEEEEEeeze!

He's Mister White Christmas
He's Mister Snow
[[b]Brock Landers[/b]]
That's right!

He's Mister Icicle
He's Mister Ten Below
[[b]Brock Landers[/b]]
Friends call me [b]Brock Landers[/b],
What ever I touch
Turns to snow in my clutch
... too much.

Too Much!

[QUOTE=walkingcontradiction]indeed.

isnt that song great?[/QUOTE]

Heck yes it is.

[QUOTE=ireLocus]Heck yes it is.[/QUOTE]
gooooshhh stop quoting that stuupid movie, shuut upp. I'm trying to practice some dance moves...

stop eating all of our steak...jeez

edit: that was lame of me

Ok, this one was bound to come up sooner or later.

[b]Jeebus Jeebus[/b] bo beebus
Bananna fanna fo feebus
Me my mo meebus
[b]Jeebus[/B]

[QUOTE=walkingcontradiction]gooooshhh stop quoting that stuupid movie, shuut upp. I'm trying to practice some dance moves...

stop eating all of our steak...jeez

edit: that was lame of me[/QUOTE]

ok, I rarely actually laugh out loud when people post stuff, but holy crap, I think I just went red in the face.

[QUOTE=ireLocus]ok, I rarely actually laugh out loud when people post stuff, but holy crap, I think I just went red in the face.[/QUOTE]
yessssssssssssssssssss

Do you remember a guy that's been
It's such an earthy song
I've heard a rumour from [B]Wesley Sonck[/B]
Oh no, don't say it's true

They got a message from the action man
"I'm happy, hope you're happy too
I've loved all I've needed love
Sordid details following"

The shrieking of nothing is killing
Just pictures of [B]Sick Girl[/B] (or [B]Jeebus[/B]) in synthesis and I
Ain't got no [B]Morey[/B] and I ain't got no hair
But I'm hoping to kick but the planet is glowing

CHORUS
Ashes to ashes, fun to funky
We know [B]Mr. Brown[/B]'s a junkie
Strung out in heaven's high
Hitting an all-time low

-- David Bowie, "Ashes To Ashes"

[QUOTE=karbunkle]I'm Mister Green Christmas
I'm Mister Sun
I'm Mister Heat Blister
I'm Mister Hundred and One
They call me [b]Parkaboy[/b],
What ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
I'm too much!

He's Mister Green Christmas
He's Mister Sun
He's Mister Heat Blister
He's Mister Hundred and One
[[b]Parkaboy[/b]]
They call me [b]Parkaboy[/b],
What ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch

............

He's Mister Icicle
He's Mister Ten Below
[[b]Brock Landers[/b]]
Friends call me [b]Brock Landers[/b],
What ever I touch
Turns to snow in my clutch
... too much.

Too Much![/QUOTE]

Yes, very clever and semi-apt, but you reversed them. I like the cold. You can judge the psychogeographci symbolism for yourself.

[QUOTE=Smartazboy][B]Loki [/B] was sharin' [B]Alex Cassun's [/B] outlook on the topic of the seas[/QUOTE]
Huh. I always thought it was 'topic of disease', you know, like the song was about STDs or something.

After reading this, and giving it more than three seconds of thought, I am thoroughly convinced vandamage is one of those words like purple or orange. (shameless plug).

Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man
[B]Ballerina[/B](actual word in song, hehe), you must have seen her dancing in the sand
And now she's in me, always with me, [B]Vandamage [/B](just to prove you wrong-sorta) in my hand

[B]Jeebus [/B] freaks out in the street
Handing tickets out for [B]Loki[/B]-God
Turning back she just laughs
The boulevard is not that bad

[B]Stoyan [/B] he makes his stand
In the auditorium
Looking on she sings the songs
The words she knows, the tune she hums

But oh how it feels so real
Lying here with no one near
Only you and you can't hear me
When I say softly, slowly

Hold me closer [B]Vandamage[/B]
Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen
you had a busy day today

Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man
[B]Ballerina[/B], you must have seen her dancing in the sand
And now she's in me, always with me, [B]Vandamage [/B] in my hand

^^^ that's pretty good.

? who performs that song?

[QUOTE=vandamage]^^^ that's pretty good.

? who performs that song?[/QUOTE]
Sir Elton John

[QUOTE=Smartazboy]Sir Elton John[/QUOTE]

Thanks!

[QUOTE=Parkaboy]"Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds"

J. Robert Oppenheimer (quoting the Bhagavad Gita)[/QUOTE]

That was on a helmet in FULL METAL JACKET (I am become death). Now I know where it's from and now I already forgot.

"Lay me down in sheets of linen"

THAT'S what he's saying?! I always sang along "Laying damn the sea's so blanded" which doesn't make any sense but I never knew what he was saying. This thread is straight retahded.

Golly!

[QUOTE=Maddetchke Malorkus]"Lay me down in sheets of linen"

This thread is straight retahded.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, well look who started it. What a spaz.

[QUOTE=Smartazboy]Yeah, well look who started it. What a spaz.[/QUOTE]

Spazatron 3000

on the twelfth day of Christmas, my cult friends gave to me:

12 [B]Mr. Browns[/B]
11 [B]Mocky Mockins[/B]
10 [B]Smartazboy's[/B]
9 [B]Owenwarlands[/B]
8 Flying [b]Izen's[/b]
7 [b]Mr. Hashs's[/b]
6 [b]Sixteentimes[/b]
5 [b]MIN-YOU-ETTTTS[/b]
4 [B]Undertows[/B]
3 [b]Parkaboys[/b]
2 [b]Fake Plstic Trees[/b]
and a [B]walkingcontradiction[/B]

I'm not sure what all this would mean... but it's Christmas. so there.

[QUOTE=ireLocus]on the twelfth day of Christmas, my cult friends gave to me:

12 [B]Mr. Browns[/B]
11 [B]Mocky Mockins[/B]
10 [B]Smartazboy's[/B]
9 [B]Owenwarlands[/B]
8 Flying [b]Izen's[/b]
7 [b]Mr. Hashs's[/b]
6 [b]Sixteentimes[/b]
5 [b]MIN-YOU-ETTTTS[/b]
4 [B]Undertows[/B]
3 [b]Parkaboys[/b]
2 [b]Fake Plstic Trees[/b]
and a [B]walkingcontradiction[/B]

I'm not sure what all this would mean... but it's Christmas. so there.[/QUOTE]

I just want one thing for post-Christmas.

[QUOTE=Mr. Brown]I just want one thing for post-Christmas.[/QUOTE]
a trip to Chicago?

[QUOTE=mr_hash]a trip to Chicago?[/QUOTE]

That's prolly my easter Present.

[QUOTE=Mr. Brown]I just want one thing for post-Christmas.[/QUOTE]

:rolleyes:

[QUOTE=Mr. Brown]I just want one thing for post-Christmas.[/QUOTE]

um... ok what?

[QUOTE=ireLocus]um... ok what?[/QUOTE]

Batman's head on a silver platter. Whadcha think?

[QUOTE=Mr. Brown]Batman's head on a silver platter. Whadcha think?[/QUOTE]

Flippin' sweet.