CSI, Law and Order, Criminal Minds....

you should watch The Shield!

I used to watch CSI Las Vegas, but then Gil left, and that one guy died, so the show began to suck.
Now I watch NCIS, it's safe to say I'm addicted.

I have a pretend person crush on Dr. Reid.

CSI infuriates me a little, because having worked as a photoshop retoucher I know you can't just infinitely enhance an image if you keep zooming into it and expecting it to remain at perfect resolution. Unless they've got some zillion pixels per inch resolution images, it just ain't happening.

Law and Order original and SVU are both pretty watchable, particularly if there's nothing else on TV if I'm just chilling out/eating dinner or whatever. Law and Order Criminal Intent is the worst though.

did he eventually lose his hearing or whatever?

CSI infuriates me because no one ever lawyers up!

I get all pissy and start yelling at the TV, ranting and spouting the bill of rights and whatnot.

Having also worked in a similar field that too gets me. Also I've been in and around the legal system and the people I speak to at the police departments and such tell me that there's no way they could devote that much time and effort to a single case each time. They normally have a hundred pressing cases at any given time and most of them sadly go unsolved.
We also have one of the lowest (If not THE lowest) conviction rates of any other country. So them nailing the bad guy each time just ain't plausible.
Plus don't get me started on how they magically seem to skip all the paperwork and bureaucracy that goes into being a forensic detective. Hell even a normal run of the mill cop has ten pages to fill out if he even nabs a jay walker!

So why do I watch these shows even though they present logistical problems that hurt my head whenever I think about it? I dunno... They're just fun time wasters and I love to guess who dunnnit. :-P

Plus I love it how they portray all civil service workers as tall handsome men with lighting sharp wits and charisma up the yin yang! ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOWR!!!

That's the thing that bugs me about Law and Order: CI. Half the reason I like L&O is for the courtroom drama, but on CI they tend to basically just psychologically manipulate the dude into confessing. Every episode. Can it really be that easy??

Ahhh, the regular complaints about these kinds of shows. I only ever liked the original CSI, before Gil left. That's about it. I'm a bit of an apologist, but here we go.

When it comes to enhancing resolution, there ARE programs that can enhance the resolution to a certain degree. Plus, security cams can have pretty amazing resolution, so much that the image isn't fully defined on the TVs they have on the show, so when they zoom in, they WILL get a better image. Did you ever watch "The World's Most Amazing Videos" or some other knock-off of that? The robbery clips usually never give you a clear enough resolution to make out the face of the perp, even when they're not blurred out, but they're still caught due to their faces being on tape. I remember a case on the show where they simply couldn't get a good enough resolution on the guy, so the writers aren't stupid enough to think there's no limit.

When it comes to the paperwork, what do you expect? They do do paperwork, as is evidenced by the fact that they usually walk in on each other working at their desks with some paper in front of them. But OF COURSE they're not going to actually show the process of doing the paperwork. What would be the point of that if all they're writing down is the info you already got from when they got it in the field/lab? Plus, it's boring.

When it comes to solving a particular case at a time, yeah, it may be a little far-fetched for a big city like Las Vegas, but it's not TOO bad, considering every murder they solve is a high-profile case. The reason they solve a lot of them is because this is TV, and these characters are simply badass at what they do, much better than any real-life CSI guy.

My apologist rant is concluded.

This is my problem with CI as well.

Well, he was losing it toward the end, but I don't think he completely lost his hearing, but I'm not sure.
There's talk of having him back on the show, but I'm over it now.

I used to watch CI when that one dude, the guy from Full Metal Jacket, was still on it... his character was such a freak you couldn't help but want to watch, haven't ever really watched it since.

Does it bug you guys too that the people they interveiw, in any Law and Order, never stop what they are doing to be questioned? I can't stand that... If the cops were asking me what I knew about some dead person I think I could give it five minutes out of my day, anyone waiting would understand.

is Gil the William Peterson guy?
I've never watched any of these shows, but I'm downloading the CSI finale from Thursday solely because Bill Irwin was in it.

I like NCIS most! I watch Criminal Minds from time to time and that's about it. Oh, and Bones.

I think about that all the time. They'll be questioning some girl and practically in midsentence she'll say, "Can this wait? I have class." Bitch, class can wait.

I think the writers must be afraid that a lack of movement would make the story boring. Or that the actors arn't good enoug to feign nervous fidgeting and concern, so they keep everyone walking around and doing menial tasks.

I watch Lie to Me, but it's getting more and more annoying.

My all-time favourite TV cop is Columbo.

I hate procedural dramas for the mechanical writing style. EVERYTHING is exposition, disguised as conversation.

There is a murder.
Cops go around questioning everyone, and through that questioning, reveal things about the main suspects lives and motivations. It's all too formulaic. And then they always find ways to work the topic du jour into conversations. Everything is just interrupted q&a, really stilted, and almost completely soulless.

Although, if they made CSI:ICP Unit, I would watch that.

"Detective 2 Dope, what did you find at the scene of the crime?"
"A dead body, yo, covered in Faygo--"
"Faygo?"
"It's a type of inexpensive soda, favored by fans called juggalos--"
"Juggalos?"
"They're fans of ours."
"I see. Well, it appears this man was wearing a vest made of iron that somehow attracted this knife magnetically..."
And then the episode is dedicated not to resolving a murder, but to figuring out how fuckin' magnets work.

I like Monk because he relies on good old fashioned sleuthing to get the job done. Half of the procedures on CSI are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay exaggerated.

I remember talking to a CSI agent (Don't ask me how I got into contact with one) and he said that Law and Order SVU has it pretty close. Just like when I talked to numerous doctors they surprisingly all said that House was a crock and Scrubs was closer to real life.

I've heard that about Scrubs, too. Mostly because the levels of what doctors, nurses, techs, etc. do on the show is about the same way it is in real life. Do they even show nurses on House?

That's another thing about House that gets me. The doctors do all the work. Doctors in real life wouldn't be caught dead doing something that a nurse could do for them.
Lazy bastards...

I like House, but I don't really watch it for any of the medical stuff. They could all be architects for all I care.

House is actually one of my favorite shows. I get too caught up in details sometimes but all in all I know when to shut my brain down and just enjoy something.

Unless it's a Michael Bay film. Even I have my limits...