Da Vinci Code

woops. Sorry I realized just when I pressed the post button. I had both windows open.

You shoulda put other books on the table.

Ones you felt were more worthy of a table spot.

No-one would have stopped you.

I got that book as a present from some deranged relative. I'm considering reading it, my dad said it was good, but then again he likes Tom Clancy.

ahahahaha. i came here because i can never resist a good crack at the code. i thought this was yet another, i read this da vinci code book and it's pretty good guys - huh? huh?

it's a veritable garden of mockery opportunities (mockertunities?). needless to say, layp, you have warmed the cockles of my heart.

also - mikandrewz, your avatar is making me laugh.

[QUOTE=vidalia]also - mikandrewz, your avatar is making me laugh.[/QUOTE]

Because it's amusing or because it's so crap?

because it's amusing. they're little tiny dancers! and they're kind of good!

one of the downfalls to being a sarcastic clod all the time is that no one believes you when you're being sincere.

my mom bought it.....

i guess she read it i do not know...

i ripped out a good 8 or 9 pages to mess her up....

she mentioned something about it, i just shurgged.

[I]
fucking hating this phenomenon[/I]

[QUOTE=vidalia]because it's amusing. they're little tiny dancers! and they're kind of good!

one of the downfalls to being a sarcastic clod all the time is that no one believes you when you're being sincere.[/QUOTE]
also.... one of them is spider man...

its so new kids on the block...

"My first measure of a writer is how he or she handles language, and the level of writing in Code is clearly no better than pulp novel pornography." [I]-- Craig Clevenger[/I]

Dan Brown should just sit in the Vatican church and write a book describing the architecture and put in stochastic science fiction factoids with a couple characters and he'll make millions.

I never heard of it but I'm sick of seeing this beige thing for £4.99 in Supermarkets. Has anyone read it? What's it all about this thing has passed me by completely.

[QUOTE=Vendetta]I never heard of it but I'm sick of seeing this beige thing for £4.99 in Supermarkets. Has anyone read it? What's it all about this thing has passed me by completely.[/QUOTE]

I read the first third of it on remmendation from my ex-girlfriend, who I bought it for when she wouldn't shut up about it. She liked it, and from what I read of it, the story itself was a bit of an intrigue, but I kept telling her, and she agreed, that the guy's writing was bad. It was drab. It was...just blah.

I never got around to finishing the book as she handed it off to her parents. Not that heartbroken, although I did pick up a different book by him to see if his writing was indeed that bad, and within two pages of reading it, it was proven, it was. I set the book back down and kept on walking.

Hes just bad. I think most of us in the shop can do alot better.

For example, from a copy of the horrendous and icky Deception Point by Dan Brown *shudders*....(a anything in brackets is from me)

"Seeing how effortlessly he lied (adverb to much..ewww), Gabrielle realized ( an abstract.. woo hoo) that Senator Sexton was indeed a dangerous man (Easy cope out on writing a charater)."

THATS JUST ONE LINE!!!!

UGH!

Dan Brown is just a testosterone ridden Nora Roberts/Tom Clancy breeding expeiment throwback.

He also took a 1st year survey class at his local community college HIS1301 - The History of the Western World from Genesis to impending Armegeddon. 16 one-hour lectures. He is obviouly an expert on his themes, come on guys.

[QUOTE=MockyMockins]Hes just bad. I think most of us in the shop can do alot better.

For example, from a copy of the horrendous and icky Deception Point by Dan Brown *shudders*....(a anything in brackets is from me)

"Seeing how effortlessly he lied (adverb to much..ewww), Gabrielle realized ( an abstract.. woo hoo) that Senator Sexton was indeed a dangerous man (Easy cope out on writing a charater)."

THATS JUST ONE LINE!!!!

UGH![/QUOTE]

From what I've read of his books, they were FULL of adverbs, like trying to turn on the television and finding a television station without a reality show amount of adverbs. It killed me.

I like you guys.

And a message to Vendetta, the table was overflowing! No space. Besides if there was people who assume it also had something to the with Dan Brown and his hackory.

Laughing man Brown? Excellent! Haha!

[QUOTE=Jeebus]
Dan Brown should just sit in the Vatican church and write a book describing the architecture and put in stochastic science fiction factoids with a couple characters and he'll make millions.[/QUOTE]
what? you mean do the same thing again ?

[QUOTE=Layp]Here I was, standing inside the book store in Amsterdam. Where I see on table, solely reserved for all things Dan Brown and Da Vinci Code. They had the original book, they had the hardcover art book. They had the "cracking da Vinci code" books aplenty, they had his other fucking novels laying about.

I had a lighter in my pocket.

I don't know how, but I managed to resist burning it all. What would you have done?
[/QUOTE]
I have ripped into that piece of shit hack of a wipe my ass book in more posts than I can remember. That sloppy infected semen sends me into a rage everytime I here the name. Jay said some funny shit when I responded to the code movie. You might want to check it out. The link is below.
[URL=http://www.chuckpalahniuk.net/community/showthread.php?t=18961]http://www.chuckpalahniuk.net/community/showthread.php?t=18961[/URL]

this thread should be a poll
do you hate this book because its written shittlily
or
do you hate this book because its pledgariazed from "Daughter of God" ?

[QUOTE=karbunkle]this thread should be a poll
do you hate this book because its written shittlily
or
do you hate this book because its pledgariazed from "Daughter of God" ?[/QUOTE]
Oh man,,, where do i start..

I hate it for the absolute SHIT WRITING!
I HATE it because it plagiarizes not only from "Daughter of God" but also "Holy Blood holy Grail."
I LOATH THE fucking thing because i read quality prose in the workshops, and this dung is translated into twenty languges.

When they make the movie: I'll be on the front lines leading a riot.

[QUOTE=karbunkle]what? you mean do the same thing again ?[/QUOTE]

Yep. The same exact fucking thing, you know, just different characters, different lifestyles, different shit for brains, and different slanted science concepts. Overall, mix it up a little and he'll hear a publication writ within hours. [i]Guaranteed[/i].

Thank fucking god this shit is recognized as shit. cherry vanilla I feel your pain. You know everytime you see a dan 'shit' brown lying about just kick it, hard.

My mom read [i]Angels and Demons[/i] and [i]The Davinci Code[/i] but she said that she hated Davinci Code and loved Angels. I thought that was interesting.

May I talk to your mom about it?

I read it a long time ago, before all the hype. I've got a friend who's usually a pretty good source for recomendations and he said to give it a whirl. So I read it...it was interesting....nuthin special....pissed off a bunch of catholics. It's just pulp, and average pulp at that. It's easy enough to follow and moves pretty fast. A bunch of people who don't read on a regular basis read it and that's why it makes the news. Now in about 2 years we'll get a bunch of copycat writters and we'll be even more sick of it. I don't hate the book as bad as I hate all the undeserved press. Spiderman 2 makes hundreds of millions while Momento is only in theaters for a couple of weeks. Same difference.

Memento**************

[QUOTE=MockyMockins]Memento**************[/QUOTE]
To get off topic, [I]Memento [/I] is one of my favorites.

"You'll be amazed at what a little brain damage can do to your credibility."

[QUOTE=urmynme]Spiderman 2 .[/QUOTE]

I quite liked Spiderman 2.

[QUOTE=Riddlegimp]I quite liked Spiderman 2.[/QUOTE]

Well you're wrong.

There was a two hour documentary about it last week, two hours! It was about how it was basically all made up by a bunch of French weirdo's.

It is annoying that it's just pulp that gets people's attention, the Harry Potter thing really pissed me off, adults everywhere were reading that like it was something to be proud of, they were kids books goddammit!

There's millions of americans out there that like to pretend like they are "well read". Once in a blue moon, all of them band together and read some random peice of shit. Then they talk about it to everyone they know to perpetuate their carefully crafted image. You ask them what else they've read.....you'll get a blank stare. "Uh.....I read some Tom Clancy back in college". Bastards! The lot of em'....

Hey lets burn them all!

Not just me being tempted in a store out of annoyance, but lets rounds up all the people who according to 'us' as an elected council read crap books, we will send them off to labor camps were we will supply the 'proper' reading material. All that we deem unfit gets thrown in the big pile.

[QUOTE=mikandrewz]Well you're wrong.

There was a two hour documentary about it last week, two hours! It was about how it was basically all made up by a bunch of French weirdo's.

It is annoying that it's just pulp that gets people's attention, the Harry Potter thing really pissed me off, adults everywhere were reading that like it was something to be proud of, they were kids books goddammit![/QUOTE]

I quite liked French Weirdos.

I've just read it, I got given it and I just couldn't not read it. The story is pretty average, its kind of interesting except I know that it's considered very badly researched and therefore not true. The writing is just horrendous, a lot of the dialogue sound like a cheesy Hollywood action movie. He repeatedly discribes things in the same way over and over.

"She gunned the car in the other direction"
"She gunned the car onto the roundabout"

"Above the hum of the bulletproof tires" pops up twice in the same sequence.

He keeps using adverbs, "he turned and walked angrily in the opposite direction", what is that?

And sometimes his sentance structure is just plain gash, my favourite line in the book

"He too appeared to be just now coming to."

This isn't burnt tongue, its hung, drawn and quartered, removed, burnt to a crisp in a pottery oven, ashes fired by giant catapult onto a pacific atoll before the french test their nuclear weapons on it tongue.

May all that is good and true in the realms of quality writing bless and keep you, mckandrewz. So glad I'm not alone. I couldn't make it through the second page, the writing was such a crap fest. Where was this guy's editor? I mean first paragraph, a curator--a CURATOR--at the Louvre reaches for a painting to set off an alarm and summon security. Fine. But the character of the freaking curator (we're in his POV) calls it [I]a[/I] Caravaggio. No way this character would not know and name the precise Caravaggio he was grabbing. Talk about NOT establishing authority.

You think it can't get any worse and then, it does. I'm glad I did not get as far in the reading as you did.

And yet, at the store where I work, we still are selling 5 to 8 copies of that monster, in hard cover, every single freaking day.

I haven't been this depressed over a commercially successful book since Bridges of Madison County. And man, that was depressing.

Oh yeah, and Bravo on the Harry Potter comments as well.

You'll find that the Da Vinci Code occupies a special place for ridicule/ire/general flabbergastedness-at-its-continuing-success at the Cult. You know, with us all being so darned enlightened and all.

[QUOTE=Riddlegimp]You'll find that the Da Vinci Code occupies a special place for ridicule/ire/general flabbergastedness-at-its-continuing-success at the Cult. You know, with us all being so darned enlightened and all.[/QUOTE]

And that's how I knew I'd found a home....it is dang enlightened around here.

[QUOTE=mikandrewz]I've just read it, I got given it and I just couldn't not read it. The story is pretty average, its kind of interesting except I know that it's considered very badly researched and therefore not true. The writing is just horrendous, a lot of the dialogue sound like a cheesy Hollywood action movie. He repeatedly discribes things in the same way over and over.

"She gunned the car in the other direction"
"She gunned the car onto the roundabout"

"Above the hum of the bulletproof tires" pops up twice in the same sequence.

He keeps using adverbs, "he turned and walked angrily in the opposite direction", what is that?

And sometimes his sentance structure is just plain gash, my favourite line in the book

"He too appeared to be just now coming to."

This isn't burnt tongue, its hung, drawn and quartered, removed, burnt to a crisp in a pottery oven, ashes fired by giant catapult onto a pacific atoll before the french test their nuclear weapons on it tongue.[/QUOTE]

Whats even worse is when someone writes somehthing like "she strode purposefully" or whatever purposefully. You see that fucking word in a book--close it right away.
If a book is as popular as "the davinci code" you know its crap. Flat out. If all these mainstream motherfuckers of all ages and no imagination all like the same book you just know it sucks. And you know that shit is in 3rd person. If my dad gave me a book I would keep it under my sink just in case I ran out of toiler paper after a taco bell binge.

-K

What is wrong with third person?

Everything doesnt have to be written minimalist.

I do agree the book is badly written, though I did find it interesting until I read "Holy Blood, Holy Grail"(sp?). Than I realized he basically just copy and pasted it.

What I really hate in writing is when people try to sneak out of giving us real characters or describing them and showing us them.. instead they say stuff like:

"He had a confident chin."

"She had devious eyes."

"I had an aristocratic nose."

UGH

I agree with Mocky on the latter, but even that is not an absolute rule. Lots of medieval works (or works inspired by the period and style, like Tolkien) strongly associate physical appearance with moral nature. In more modern form it's just ridiculous.

[QUOTE=MockyMockins]What is wrong with third person?

Everything doesnt have to be written minimalist.

I do agree the book is badly written, though I did find it interesting until I read "Holy Blood, Holy Grail"(sp?). Than I realized he basically just copy and pasted it.

What I really hate in writing is when people try to sneak out of giving us real characters or describing them and showing us them.. instead they say stuff like:

"He had a confident chin."

"She had devious eyes."

"I had an aristocratic nose."

UGH[/QUOTE]
I'm toooooo puissed offfffff to go on anothr COde rant,
fuck it,

those fucking stupid Americans are at the louve buying French copies of a book my [I]dead decaying dog's tape worm's shit [/I] could write. i saw that sOb getting interviewed and i've never wanted to bite some one's head off soo bad. screwit i needsomething to drink

mm, i happen to like third person

My brother bought THE DA VINCI CODE, he says it's pretty okay.

Well, at least he's reading.

[QUOTE=Mr. Brown]My brother bought THE DA VINCI CODE, he says it's pretty okay.

Well, at least he's reading.[/QUOTE]
He'd get more from shel silverstien, dr. suess even harry potter or Stephen king. All he's going to take from that book is sloppy information and how not to write.

It's his second book he ever bought man, his first was THE 25TH HOUR. I was suprised too, I said, dude, I'da picked something for you if you were unsure what to get and he shrugged and said, meh, I just wanted to see what it was like.

Well then, the book isn't all bad seeing that it got somebody to read. Now once he starts reading it, slip him some Palahniuk and he won't want to finish it. He'll realize just how bad "The Code" is.

I'm so proud of you guys and your hatred for Dan Brown. When I saw a guest viewing this I thought you guys were all turning into assholes.

[QUOTE=Mr. Brown]It's his second book he ever bought man, his first was THE 25TH HOUR. I was suprised too, I said, dude, I'da picked something for you if you were unsure what to get and he shrugged and said, meh, I just wanted to see what it was like.[/QUOTE]
fair enough, new day, and I'm not itching as much :mad: . But I like PGoutis01 idea, slip some chuck.