Bust down the door and eat all the chickens?

It's my absurdist lit mag.

[QUOTE=bradley sands;1021809]It's my absurdist lit mag.[/QUOTE]

Have you been sitting here waiting this whole time for someone to ask that? Cause that was a pretty quick response.

It should publish more-than-a-thousand-word stories, cause mine is too big!

No, just logged on to see if the ad was up (it probably went up at midnight) and the title of this thread caught my eye.

Jill's Tit - We'll be accepting longer stories for the print mag around the end of the year. The word count is so low because we're doing an online-only issue and I hate reading long stories on a computer monitor.

[QUOTE=bradley sands;1021818]Jill's Tit - We'll be accepting longer stories for the print mag around the end of the year. The word count is so low because we're doing an online-only issue and I hate reading long stories on a computer monitor.[/QUOTE]
How did he know your word count regulations? Is there a thread about your mag around here or should I just know these things?

There's submission guidelines on my website.

[QUOTE=bigshrimpn;1021823]How did he know your word count regulations? Is there a thread about your mag around here or should I just know these things?[/QUOTE]

Yeah, dude. Synnove recommended that I submit something and sent me their site.

[QUOTE=bradley sands;1021825]There's submission guidelines on my website.[/QUOTE]

Thank you kindly sir. I see you have a low post count which means that you haven't been here too long. If this is true, I think that you'll find that you chose one of the best sites on the web to advertise for a lit mag. Some good writers here man. Good writers.

I can't wait until the word count goes up. I have something that I think will fit gingerly...

[QUOTE=bigshrimpn;1021837]Thank you kindly sir. I see you have a low post count which means that you haven't been here too long. If this is true, I think that you'll find that you chose one of the best sites on the web to advertise for a lit mag. Some good writers here man. Good writers.[/QUOTE]

Bradley's been around for a fair while. His site's been pimped around here by many people, and I'm in the process of making my way to the bank to get a cheque to him for a subscription (hindered by laziness). I would advise, Shrimpleton, to go and read the thread on [URL=http://www.welcometothevelvet.com/showthread.php?t=2169]Bizarro[/URL] over at The Velvet. Also, of note, is mentioning that Bradley, and another Bizarro author around these parts, Jeremy Robert Johnson, have some (reportedly - I've yet to read them, which sucks) great Bizarro books out. [URL=http://www.amazon.com/Angel-Apocalypse-Jeremy-Robert-Johnson/dp/0976249839]Angel Dust Apocalypse[/URL] has come up a few times in the Book Club forum, and [URL=http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0976631040]It Came From Below The Belt[/URL], Sands' debut, looks absoloutely delicious from what Amazon shows me of the inside. I mean, I'm not meant to be buying any more books this year, but on my next visit to Amazon I'm half tempted to pick those two up, along with Baer's new book and two of Stephen Graham Jones's.

i just submitted a short there about a month ago

Cor: Baer's new novel? Are you talking about GODSPEED? I don't think that is out until the fall maybe. Have you heard something different? And are they publishing it in the UK too?

[QUOTE=corellion;1022045]Bradley's been around for a fair while. His site's been pimped around here by many people, and I'm in the process of making my way to the bank to get a cheque to him for a subscription (hindered by laziness). I would advise, Shrimpleton, to go and read the thread on [URL=http://www.welcometothevelvet.com/showthread.php?t=2169]Bizarro[/URL] over at The Velvet. Also, of note, is mentioning that Bradley, and another Bizarro author around these parts, Jeremy Robert Johnson, have some (reportedly - I've yet to read them, which sucks) great Bizarro books out. [URL=http://www.amazon.com/Angel-Apocalypse-Jeremy-Robert-Johnson/dp/0976249839]Angel Dust Apocalypse[/URL] has come up a few times in the Book Club forum, and [URL=http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0976631040]It Came From Below The Belt[/URL], Sands' debut, looks absoloutely delicious from what Amazon shows me of the inside. I mean, I'm not meant to be buying any more books this year, but on my next visit to Amazon I'm half tempted to pick those two up, along with Baer's new book and two of Stephen Graham Jones's.[/QUOTE]Thanks for the heads up. This is kinda what I was looking for.

life seems so overwhelming sometimes. am i just afraid of responsibility. being responsible of someone elses feelings, security, or my own future. why do people seem to be able to deal with life so much more easily. i can barely keep up with my phone bill. i feel like if everyone is like me, society would crumble and nothing would get done about it.-

[QUOTE=loveme;1022194]life seems so overwhelming sometimes. am i just afraid of responsibility. being responsible of someone elses feelings, security, or my own future. why do people seem to be able to deal with life so much more easily. i can barely keep up with my phone bill. i feel like if everyone is like me, society would crumble and nothing would get done about it.-[/QUOTE]

You're posting in the wrong place. There's an emo thread somewhere around here.

[QUOTE=wickerkat;1022184]i just submitted a short there about a month ago

Cor: Baer's new novel? Are you talking about GODSPEED? I don't think that is out until the fall maybe. Have you heard something different? And are they publishing it in the UK too?[/QUOTE]
Amazon! Read the post dammit. I'm preordering it. And it's only three months until it's out. I don't have a credit card and don't get to order shit that regularly.
[QUOTE=bigshrimpn;1022185]Thanks for the heads up. This is kinda what I was looking for.[/QUOTE]No problemo.

[QUOTE=bigshrimpn;1022196]You're posting in the wrong place. There's an emo thread somewhere around here.[/QUOTE]Heheh.

[QUOTE=corellion;1022233]Amazon! Read the post dammit. I'm preordering it. And it's only three months until it's out. I don't have a credit card and don't get to order shit that regularly.
[/QUOTE]

my bad...didn't read your post...you are correct sir :wiggle: :madfawk: :wiggle:

Also go here:
[URL=http://www.bizarrocentral.com/][IMG]http://a210.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/97/l_06cd4c8f0f9400cb31d57e1a27839e21.gif[/IMG]
[/URL]
And get a hold of [URL=http://www.absurdistjournal.net/current.htm]chickens[/URL], or a chicken. I've just passed my copy on. The cover art itself is enough to salivate. And the stories are diverse in style. You probably know Jones is in there.

It's the kind of literary journal bookstores go out of their way to hide, saying it eats at the optic nerve. It's a collection of stories you'd normally have to grow tumors in mice through winter in order to find, in one place.

Bradley lives a throw from me actually, and at some point I'd like to have him for a book reading. I could publicized [I]It Came From Below the Belt[/I] as a touching coming of age story: One of growth, acceptance, and love.
[I][B]
Meet Grover Goldstein: Twenty-First Century rascal, trainee provocateur, boy next door who won't stop snickering at you from behind the lawn gnome. Swallowed by a giraffe and regurgitated oodles of years into the future, Grover must satisfy his urge to go home--even if it means going back to high school and helping his severed, and sentient, penis win the presidential election. Come along to Assumption High as Grover tries to answer the age-old question, "What if I had forgotten then what I don't know now?"[/B][/I]

A cult writer that could get published in Chickens in a flick is Spike. And probably Nightrious.

Dr.Jekyll&Mr.Hyde: I would love to do a reading.

It seems really interesting, If I had the chance I will get them, Hyde is right, the cover art are awesome! The banner is very eye catching too.

Issue 7 is out. It is free. It is online. It is a PDF. It begins with a letter from a dog and ends with a bag of gold. It is very good. It contains two stories from forum members: Caleb Ross ("thirstygerbil") and Jason M. Heim ("jase"). At least I think jase is on this forum. He may just be on The Velvet.

It includes stories (Rhys Hughes, D. Harlan Wilson, John Edward Lawson, Sean Kilpatrick, Mike Young, Corey Mesler, Andersen Prunty, Cameron Pierce, Amelia Gray, Caleb Ross, Forrest Armstrong, Stefani Nellen, Erik Williams, Jason M. Heim, and Matt Doyle), books reviews (John Edward Lawson's Discouraging At Best and Jeremy C. Shipp's Vacation), and cover art (Jase Daniels).

We're also selling the last print issue (#6) for half price. It contains a short story by Stephen Graham Jones, a novelette-sized story from Joey Goebel, and stories from a whole buncha other authors.

Click here to read/buy the issues: http://www.absurdistjournal.com/current.htm

And since people mentioned it, submissions for the next print issue are now open. We're looking for stories between 2000 and 5000 words.

This is a really useful thread...glad I found it.  Thanks, bradley.

Bradley Sands, your book It Came From Below the Belt is so great.  Thanks.

Bizarro fiction has become a sort of addiction for me lately.

Thanks for the compliment.

I like Sleepytime Gorilla Museum too. The frontman is very funny. I saw them a while back at a venue that usually only has dull neo-hippy, folky bands.

I have a novella in the next Bizarro Starter Kit anthology.  It should be out in a week or so. Here is a thread about it: www.bizarrocentral.com/forum/topic.asp

Oh my.  That was quite a surprise to talk to someone that likes SGM.  But I mean, considering the material you've written, I guess it makes sense for you of all people to like them.

And yeah, I've been investigating that anthology since last week.  I plan on ordering it as soon as it's possible for me to.  Will this have new material from you and the other contributing authors?  When I'm finished with my book of poetry, I plan on writing something in this field. 

New from me and most others. Steve Aylett's novella has already been published on its own. Some if not all of Ray Fracalossy's stories have been online.

Okay thanks again.  I'm off to check out Ray Fracalossy's material now.

He has some stories in his myspace blog: blog.myspace.com/index.cfm

He used to have a lot at the New Absurdist website, but the site is dead.

The new issue has been available for a while. It's my last issue as the editor.

Includes stories by Laird Hunt, D. Harlan Wilson, Cameron Pierce, Amanda Billings, Kirk Jones, Andrew W. Adams, Amber Sparks, and a novella by Kirsten Alene. Contains book reviews of Steve Lowe’s Muscle Memory and Shane Jones’s A Cake Appeared.

AVAILABLE HERE

Sad to read posts here that are discussing when Godspeed is coming out... in 2007. WE'RE STILL WAITING!

He's waiting until I've read the others.

Get on it then!

I think I started and finished reading Baer's other books in 2008 or 2009... I remember seeing the release date and thinking... "Yeahhh! That must mean it's going to come out sooo soon, like probably tomorrow! Good thing I didn't have to wait like these dorks."

I gave you something to pass the time while you're waiting for Godspeed. I still haven't finished reading it myself, though.

Also, this is my 3000th post

I know, you're awesome!

Was it Sometimes Rachel and Bloodporn? Because that's like one sittings worth of reading. Not a 1000 page brick like Godspeed must be at this point.

It was all his short stories and the novella. Matt compiled them some time ago, sent me a copy, and I sent one to Jessica.

Yeah, about an afternoon's worth of reading. I wish Baer would at least surface with some more short stories.

Maybe. I only read Sometimes Rachel, Valentine the Destroyer and Deception of the Thrush. I think I'm being sensible in not reading them all at once.

Probably. I don't think I have Deception of the Thrush. That one is in San Francisco Noir.

I can email you the pdf or the Nook version, but it's not formatted right for ebooks. It's readable, though.

Cool. I PM'ed you. Thanks!

Sent.

I have Sometimes Rachel somewhere.

I'm currently reading "The Good Soldier Svejk" by Jaroslav Hasek. It is highly entertaining!

I posted this in the wrong thread.