Books I hated
i have the Crucible, too. love it.
Girls should not write books for men!
Are you serious?
Get the sugar. Get the sugar. Get the sugar.
i don't think he's still around.
and hey did you know the lamaze technique was invented BY A MAN? if that isn't some bullshit i don't know what is. "i don't have a vagina, but let me instruct you on how to push a human being through yours - you just have to BREATHE."
Girls should not write books for men!
Are you serious?
"how do you write women so well?"
"I think of a man. Then I take away reason and accountability."
come on! As Good As it Gets, anyone? hilarious
"I thought I had mono once for an entire year. Turns out I was just really bored."
Wayne Campbell
Girls should not write books for men!
Are you serious?
I wish he was still around because he would surely respond to this callout in the most hilarious of ways.
The IRONMAN is an endless legend of the boards. Never question his posts and never ever ever think about actually thinking about what they say.
RIP IRONMAN.
anything by Mitch Albom.
"It is true, that which I have revealed to you; there is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream - a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought - a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities."
and hey did you know the lamaze technique was invented BY A MAN? if that isn't some bullshit i don't know what is. "i don't have a vagina, but let me instruct you on how to push a human being through yours - you just have to BREATHE."
That's some funny shit there.
But, they sure knew what they were doing when they invented the vibrator. Did you know it was invented as a medical device and that women used to go their doctors to have them apply the device? Now, I want to go back to those days.
Oh, oh doctor, my head hurts. It hurts so bad!
No problem, Miss. Your uterus must be congested from not birthing any babies in the last two months. And, I've got just the thing. Shzzzzzz ... nyurrrr nyurrr nyurrr ... shzzzzzz ... okay, now I'm just going to adjust the angle; you might feel a bit of pressure against your rectum. Do you feel my fingers? Good. Shzzzzzz ... nrurrr nyurrr nyurrr ....
Get the sugar. Get the sugar. Get the sugar.
Girls should not write books for men!
Are you serious?
"how do you write women so well?"
"I think of a man. Then I take away reason and accountability."
come on! As Good As it Gets, anyone? hilarious
Those are some good lines.
Get the sugar. Get the sugar. Get the sugar.
THE MANIPULATOR!
http://everything2.com/?node_id=1467020
See also:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/vniow/sets/72157617413089233/ (sfw)
and hey did you know the lamaze technique was invented BY A MAN? if that isn't some bullshit i don't know what is. "i don't have a vagina, but let me instruct you on how to push a human being through yours - you just have to BREATHE."
That's some funny shit there.
But, they sure knew what they were doing when they invented the vibrator. Did you know it was invented as a medical device and that women used to go their doctors to have them apply the device? Now, I want to go back to those days.
Oh, oh doctor, my head hurts. It hurts so bad!
No problem, Miss. Your uterus must be congested from not birthing any babies in the last two months. And, I've got just the thing. Shzzzzzz ... nyurrrr nyurrr nyurrr ... shzzzzzz ... okay, now I'm just going to adjust the angle; you might feel a bit of pressure against your rectum. Do you feel my fingers? Good. Shzzzzzz ... nrurrr nyurrr nyurrr ....
hilarious!! you want a return to patient/doctor vibrating sessions?? Ugh... I can't think of anything less sexy than a sterile docs office and those stirrups are terrible.
NOW, if you saddled up and the doc hit a button and suddenly you were in like the Austin Power's plane with the rotating bed and velvet wall hangings then yes! bring on the uterine congestion!
Oh and for a bit of history... docs for a long time believed that the contractions during female orgasm helped 'suck up' the sperm so if you wanted to conceive, it was best to give your lady that cookie.
"I thought I had mono once for an entire year. Turns out I was just really bored."
Wayne Campbell
On The Beach... Been complaining about it already. Damn that book! *Shakes fist*
Also, Twilight. Yesh, I read it.
I staunchly oppose this proposition. If you want to read a good version of Dickens, read Honore de Balzac.
I've never agreed with any single statement more in my entire life.
http://everything2.com/?node_id=1467020
See also:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/vniow/sets/72157617413089233/ (sfw)
that second link for the steampunk vibrator even has a Tesla Turbine in it. How cool is that?
Thanks for the links 
Get the sugar. Get the sugar. Get the sugar.
Girls should not write books for men!
Are you serious?
1234567890
I hate most books that I pick up. I can usually tell just by reading the jacket if I'm going to hate a book. When I'm in the library or the bookstore it's more than ninety-five percent of them. But if I had to choose any book/books to single out it would be the Twilight books. I have only read the jacket of one book, and while you might think that makes this unfair, I still fucking hate these books and the pasty suburban tween veal they represent. Fuck Twilight.
I'm lying.
How can you possibly hate 95% of books? And didn't anyone ever tell you not to judge a book by its cover?
The only reason Twilight bothers me in the least is because it'll take at least fifteen years to get rid of that stigma surrounding vampires she made. I really, truly love vampires. Love werewolves even more, kind of wish i was one, could be one. But now, there's this and it saddens me to know that kids growing up now think vampires sparkle.
Interesting vampire fact! Did you know it wasn't a part of the vampire myth for sunlight to harm them until Nosferatu!?
How can you possibly hate 95% of books? And didn't anyone ever tell you not to judge a book by its cover?
The only reason Twilight bothers me in the least is because it'll take at least fifteen years to get rid of that stigma surrounding vampires she made. I really, truly love vampires. Love werewolves even more, kind of wish i was one, could be one. But now, there's this and it saddens me to know that kids growing up now think vampires sparkle.
Interesting vampire fact! Did you know it wasn't a part of the vampire myth for sunlight to harm them until Nosferatu!?
Alright, maybe it's not the books themselves that I hate, it's just the way their written. It has more to do with the way people are taught to write and what they think is worth six hundred pages. I know it sounds harsh put I've learned to trust my gut. If they can't keep my interest for the first page or at least keep from disgusting me they're usually not going to be worth the time. And maybe 95% is a bit of an exaggeration, it's probably more like 90%.
I'm lying.
You're doing it wrong.
How can you possibly hate 95% of books? And didn't anyone ever tell you not to judge a book by its cover?
The only reason Twilight bothers me in the least is because it'll take at least fifteen years to get rid of that stigma surrounding vampires she made. I really, truly love vampires. Love werewolves even more, kind of wish i was one, could be one. But now, there's this and it saddens me to know that kids growing up now think vampires sparkle.
Interesting vampire fact! Did you know it wasn't a part of the vampire myth for sunlight to harm them until Nosferatu!?
Alright, maybe it's not the books themselves that I hate, it's just the way their written. It has more to do with the way people are taught to write and what they think is worth six hundred pages. I know it sounds harsh put I've learned to trust my gut. If they can't keep my interest for the first page or at least keep from disgusting me they're usually not going to be worth the time. And maybe 95% is a bit of an exaggeration, it's probably more like 90%.
This is highly absurd. If you're so derisive of 90% of the books written in the history of the world, maybe you should write a book and show humanity how it's done.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
I never finished Naked Lunch (I had to give it back when I moved) but I wholeheartedly agree with the other ones.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
I hated Gatsby...but you all knew that already.
It's the great American novel, dude!
Nope.
Moron.
I hated Gatsby...but you all knew that already.
It's the great American novel, dude!
Nope.
Yep.
I understand the import of the book, but I didn't much care for it either.
It's like Less Than Zero a hundred years earlier. Which I hated even worse. You can totally tell he was just out of high school when he wrote that steaming pile. I have never read any Bret Ellis book that didn't make me want to gag. That should make me real popular 'round these parts.
Moron.
I hated Gatsby...but you all knew that already.
It's the great American novel, dude!
Nope.
Yep.
Nope.
Moron.
Moron.
Of Mice and Men.
Moron.
It's not easy having a good time.
Even smiling makes my face ache.
Thanks for sharing!
The Lovely Bones. Took me 2 weeks to struggle through it; NOT because I'm a slow reader either.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
etc
Wow you really have no personality at all, do you?
!
i think i just stop reading something if i begin hating it.
why sit through the whole thing? to see if something descent happens? more likely than not, it won't. you'll be left pissed off that you wasted 2 weeks trudging through a reading of it, instead of reading something good for the second time.
i just don't see the point. unless of course, it's for school, or it's one of those things, where it's so incredibly cool to have read the book that if you don't read the whole thing, and are not able to discuss the ending with your friends, then they will hate you. i get it.
i read "Emma" in one sitting to get a girl to like me.
i read "Emma" in one sitting to get a girl to like me.
Everyone knows that if you want a girl to like you, you have to tell her she's fat and nobody will ever love her except you.
Allen Wayne told me so!
thanks for sharing.blackhawk tactical pants.
— Spambot
"I could have done worse!" exultantly cried the murderer Lebret, sentenced at Rouen to hard labor for life. — Félix Fénéon
ahhh. fuck. all these years i've wasted telling girls they look and smell good. fuck. why did Allen Wayne not come into my life sooner? whyyyyy!?
or at the very least just lie to them and tell them you read the book when you didn't bother.
but then they want to discuss it. and talk about how the people in the story are like the two of you blah blah.
anyway, i was fucking about, i haven't read Emma. i was meant to in school, but i didn't, then i wrote my essay with pure waffle, based only on the synopsis on the back. suckers!
1234567890
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
haha,you sound extremly intelligent,please enlighten us, oh wise one
1234567890
I really didn't like Confederacy of Dunces. Ignatius just drove me absolutely insane.
And I never made it past the Fellowship either. Too dry.
"I'm glad I live in the GPS era. In a different century, I would've set off to visit the other side of the village and wandered off into the mountains and been eaten by a carnivorous plant. Or discovered the Americas."
-LaJessica
Glamorama by Bret Easton Ellis
UUUGGHHH!!! This guy takes the cake as far as useless information is concerned. Never again will another Ellis fiasco finds itself in my hands... Never.
"Spend the afternoon, you can't take it with you" Annie Dilard
Ah yes, the 'specks'. I enjoy his books though, I think all the little details really help set the scene.
!
UUUGGHHH!!! This guy takes the cake as far as useless information is concerned. Never again will another Ellis fiasco finds itself in my hands... Never.
I'd say American Psycho is worth a read. It's not great and has that insufferable use of useless information and whatnot, but the useless information kind of works for the story.
Just something to lock back in the brain somewhere, if you ever do get some kind of itch to read one of his books again, get that one.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
etc
Wow you really have no personality at all, do you?
Judging by your join date and number of posts I should probably remember who you are.
And yet.
It's not easy having a good time.
Even smiling makes my face ache.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
etc
Wow you really have no personality at all, do you?
Judging by your join date and number of posts I should probably remember who you are.
And yet.
I could say the same about you, but the only thing memorable you've done is say moron a lot.
"I'm glad I live in the GPS era. In a different century, I would've set off to visit the other side of the village and wandered off into the mountains and been eaten by a carnivorous plant. Or discovered the Americas."
-LaJessica
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
haha,you sound extremly intelligent,please enlighten us, oh wise one
Well for starters, a space comes after every punctuation mark.
Comma, space.
Comma, space.
Comma, space.
You dig?
Also, the first letter of each sentence should always be capitalized. What's more, every sentence needs to end in a punctuation mark.
It's not easy having a good time.
Even smiling makes my face ache.
See how easy?
It's not easy having a good time.
Even smiling makes my face ache.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
haha,you sound extremly intelligent,please enlighten us, oh wise one
Well for starters, a space comes after every punctuation mark.
Comma, space.
Comma, space.
Comma, space.
You dig?
Also, the first letter of each sentence should always be capitalized. What's more, every sentence needs to end in a punctuation mark.
<3
It's not easy having a good time.
Even smiling makes my face ache.
Moron.
Moron.
Moron.
etc
Wow you really have no personality at all, do you?
Judging by your join date and number of posts I should probably remember who you are.
And yet.
I could say the same about you, but the only thing memorable you've done is say moron a lot.
Except that before this Summer I'd barely posted for the entire time you've been here.
But aside from that it's totally the same.
It's not easy having a good time.
Even smiling makes my face ache.
I haven't busted this baby out in five years or so. You should feel special. In both senses of the word.
It's not easy having a good time.
Even smiling makes my face ache.
Who is this guy and why is he so angry at everyone?
Yeah, I'm pretty curious about that myself.
"I'm glad I live in the GPS era. In a different century, I would've set off to visit the other side of the village and wandered off into the mountains and been eaten by a carnivorous plant. Or discovered the Americas."
-LaJessica
UUUGGHHH!!! This guy takes the cake as far as useless information is concerned. Never again will another Ellis fiasco finds itself in my hands... Never.
Let me clear my throat...
It's not easy having a good time.
Even smiling makes my face ache.
I can't stop watching this. Michael Bay is this generation's Ed Wood.
It's not easy having a good time.
Even smiling makes my face ache.
He's angry so that we don't have to be!
thanks for sharing.blackhawk tactical pants.
— Spambot
"I could have done worse!" exultantly cried the murderer Lebret, sentenced at Rouen to hard labor for life. — Félix Fénéon
He's angry so that we don't have to be!
i'm angry at your new avatar.
"I'm glad I live in the GPS era. In a different century, I would've set off to visit the other side of the village and wandered off into the mountains and been eaten by a carnivorous plant. Or discovered the Americas."
-LaJessica
Why? It's just a signature!
WHAT DID A SIGNATURE EVER DO TO YOU?
thanks for sharing.blackhawk tactical pants.
— Spambot
"I could have done worse!" exultantly cried the murderer Lebret, sentenced at Rouen to hard labor for life. — Félix Fénéon
I just bought two Arthur Miller plays yesterday, Death of a Salesman and The Crucible.