ZOMBIES! omgwtfbbq?

More sex with zombies discussion please.

Ok. So anyway, I was chillen with Schlotsky and I figured I rough him up a little bit, so I strapped him down to the examination table and put on my rubber gloves. I wanted to check his reaction time when sexually stimulated. So, I lubed up my rubber glove and proceeded to investigate Schlotskys rectal cavity, locating his A spot and rubbing it vigorously. Schlotsky shrieked and had an explosion all the way into the ceiling fan. As the fan spun, it flung zombie semen all over the room. I wonder of the sperm of zombies are undead. I will have to get a microscope to figure it out.

The next day, I was feeding Schlotsky some baby food when he started screaming and such. He got out of his chains and ran to my kitchen counter, picked up a knife and sliced off his penis and continued to eat it. I tied down Schlotsky and disemboweled him for his wrongdoing. I tore out his large / small intestine as well as puncturing his prostate with my finger and cutting off his testicals with a pair of shears. Schlotsky died that day, but I have yet another baby zombie in a cage down stairs, I will name him Chauncy.

A new legend is born today. Chauncy!

R.I.P. Schlotsky, you were the most sexually responsive zombie ever had. I will never forget you. Too bad you had to eat your penis.

Does that fulfill your sexual hungers for today, Nightrious?

Okay, enough sex with zombies talk thanks.

sure, I wasn't planning on doing any more from last night, but you requested it.

It coud be zombies are just a tired subject altogether.

Anyone else think Dan is taking over Ironman duties?

Hey!, it was requested!

I am not hitting on anyone else either.

I'm not like "omg put my cock in (some female from the cult) pussiez."

I am not doing that.

That talk is condemed to this thread only.

... A better-at-speaking-English Ironman?

heh

[QUOTE=DAN9108;1021360]Zombies have an organ inside of thier large intestine call the specifix aveoulux. It powers their brain/sex drive. I located once while giving Schlotsky a rectal exam.[/QUOTE]
This is a good time to point out that Dan does not believe in using his hands when giving out anal exams. Dont ask how i know.

If it's slow zombies like on shaun of the dead, shit, it would be borderline fun.

Trust me, its fun

I love zombies so much.
My zombie hunting husband knows this and thats why we are such a perfect match. He rides shotty in my ZombieMobile.

Weve made a list of which of our friends are expendable.

semen hitting the ceiling fan. HMM... that sounds familiar. BITER.

Is Schlotsky a reference to poetry critic Victor Schlovsky?

Frankenstein was more of a monster than his monster. And he animated clay, like Gawd did, so technically speaking, Frankenstein's monster was not a zombie, because the clay wasn't previously alive.

Zombies woud be so sick for target practice. You can say 'that's mean' all you want, but admit it, it'd be fun.

Fuck "fun" It would be a necessity

... but yeah it would probably kick all ass...

HAhaha you made a list of expendable friends? thats awesome.

What would you all use as a weapon? my first thought was a baseball bat of some sort, but as anyone who's hit something big and hard with a baseball bat will tell you, your arms suffer pretty fast. Then i thought an axe, but shit its a pretty clumsy weapon. I dont really see it working very well in close contact... Maybe two really small & sharp ones, [URL=http://autoplachty.euweb.cz/jeep-small-axe.jpg]like so.[/URL].. the handle still seems a bit awkward though.

Throwing stars and double edged dual swords. = Zombie ownage.

[QUOTE=Fake Plstic Trees;1021570]HAhaha you made a list of expendable friends? thats awesome.

What would you all use as a weapon? my first thought was a baseball bat of some sort, but as anyone who's hit something big and hard with a baseball bat will tell you, your arms suffer pretty fast. Then i thought an axe, but shit its a pretty clumsy weapon. I dont really see it working very well in close contact... Maybe two really small & sharp ones, [URL=http://autoplachty.euweb.cz/jeep-small-axe.jpg]like so.[/URL].. the handle still seems a bit awkward though.[/QUOTE]
For a hand to hand type weapon Id go with the [URL=http://www.prosupplydepot.com/catalog/images/QPIDrainShovelD92535.gif]drain spade[/URL] Its long, light, and sturdy with a sharp edge. Its benefits are decapitation of the enemy and one can dig with it. You dont have to swing it either, you can kinda stab with it.

If I didnt have one of those Id use a fireplace poker.

If I had to choose a gun, like Ive said before, Id take the MP5 smg for its high rate of fire and acuracy, low recoil and quick reload. It can also be silenced for when you dont want to draw attention to yourself.

(thats a quote from PA)

[QUOTE=DAN9108;1021575]Throwing stars and double edged dual swords. = Zombie ownage.[/QUOTE]

If you're twelve.

Get serious, dude. (lol, irony lol)

This [I]thread[/I] is like a fucking zombie.

Everybody get in Pointless Announcements and board up the quick reply box!

is this within the guidelines?
[IMG]http://calibercomics.com/DEADWORLD/zombie1.GIF[/IMG]

Are YOU within the guidelines?

probably not
i love colors

I'm not but I do it anyway.

The height is off by 20 pixels...

*Twitch*

OHMYGOD What the fuck was THAT?!

I think I just got posessed by Frank for like three seconds!!!

Shush. You don't get a say in matters...

[QUOTE=TheJudasCow;1021645]For a hand to hand type weapon Id go with the [URL=http://www.prosupplydepot.com/catalog/images/QPIDrainShovelD92535.gif]drain spade[/URL] Its long, light, and sturdy with a sharp edge. Its benefits are decapitation of the enemy and one can dig with it. You dont have to swing it either, you can kinda stab with it.

If I didnt have one of those Id use a fireplace poker.

If I had to choose a gun, like Ive said before, Id take the MP5 smg for its high rate of fire and acuracy, low recoil and quick reload. It can also be silenced for when you dont want to draw attention to yourself.

(thats a quote from PA)[/QUOTE]

Good call on the fireplace poker, its fast & light weight...

Next time I see my cousins Im going to tell them

Remember, aim for the head no matter what daddy says. Dont let them [I]touch[/I] you. Lock and board all the doors and forget about the chickens, theyll be fine. Do NOT go outside.

Youll understand in time.

[QUOTE=Jill's Tit;1021651]If you're twelve.

Get serious, dude. (lol, irony lol)[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=TheJudasCow;1021731]Next time I see my cousins Im going to tell them

Remember, aim for the head no matter what daddy says. Dont let them [I]touch[/I] you. Lock and board all the doors and forget about the chickens, theyll be fine. Do NOT go outside.

Youll understand in time.[/QUOTE]
Youd make a pretty useful gal to have around in case zombies come out. Since when do you have such a fascination for zombies anyway? I kindda recall it since forever but never really understood it.

It has been forever. I dont remember a time when I wasnt enthralled with them. No one understands it, least of all me. Its like a subconscious thing. Im drawn to all aspects of zombiedom.

I had another dream about them last night.
I was making a movie about them. We had modified a garbage truck. There was a driver and two seats on the outside in front of the windshield. The hubby was on the right, I was on the left with a chaingun. Since it was a movie I had no bullets but that didnt stop me from shooting. Zombies were falling down left and right. They were spilling out of the doors of the building we were outside of. It was a huge lab. There were zombie turtles and frogs and we were running them all over.

Then the hubby picked me up and fireman carried me into a school. It was safe... we werent filming anymore but he still carried me. There was a party and I was hailed as Queen of the Zombies.

This is my man. My equal in most ways:
[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v223/xpreciousdeceitx/hubby.jpg[/IMG]

What the hell is that on his shirt?

Its a squid, I think.

It looked like either a mushroom, or a penis.

Yeah...

*swoon*

At least it's not as bad as I thought it could have been........

He's cute, Judas.

Hes awesome. We been friends since fourth grade. I think he was the first to feed my zombie lovin fire.

Wow Six that is so awesome!

Zombie girlfriends must give awesome hickies.

The best kind of Zombie.......

1/2 oz Bacardi® 151 rum
1 oz pineapple juice
1 oz orange juice
1/2 oz apricot brandy
1 tsp sugar
2 oz light rum
1 oz dark rum
1 oz lime juice

MMMmmmmmMMMmmmm bitch!

When choosing a firearm, think praticality. MP5 in 9mm works, as 9mm ammo is everywhere. .357s can load .38s, and they're rugged. Bury em in the mud, dig em up and they're still fire. ar-15s or AKs in .223 or 7.62 you'd find anywhere.

Then again, no one's gonna grab 10mm ammo at the store, so maybe packing a glock 20 with your kit ain't a bad idea.

Had our first fight last night. Whether or not zombie hair and fingernails continue to grow. I chained him out in the front yard and he saw my point of view.