Zombie Apocalypse: Cultie Style
I think a lot of people have had the "where would you go in the event of a zombie apocalypse" conversation. Lets take it a bit further.
Assuming we are talking about the original, low motor skill, moaning, sluggish zombies, not the new Dawn of the Dead or Land of the Dead style zombies; I know where I would go. There is a Wal-mart that is part of a connected shopping center here. Also in the center are Burlington coat factory, Big Lots, and a furniture store. Though they all have glass doors, none of them have full glass fronts. That makes me feel a little safer. So we start out in the Wal-Mart and knock down sections of the walls to make doorways between the stores (assuming this can be done without heavy machinary). Between wal-mart and the furniture store, there should be sufficient means to block the glass doors. I think it would work quite nicely.
Which culties would I take with me? Well first I need to make sure there is sufficient muscle for the knocking down of walls. The first though I have there is Rossthefireman, cause firemen have to knock down doors and stuff, right? After that I have to guess because I don't know that much about the strength of my fellow culties, so Ill just hope all of the other guys I pick aren't pussies.
For defense reasons I'd take Nightrious, the nun-chuck skills could definitely come in handy. And I'm pretty sure he does body building as well. I would also take Frank because I know that he must know how to shoot a gun.. even if he doesn't have one...
For culinary skill and mom abilities I would take Prensa and Synnove.
For their brains filled with random, useful information I would take Spike and Jase.
To add a bit of cultural divercity I would take Derek and Mr. Brown.
For comic relief I would take Monkeywright.
I'd take Jane, Tom9d and myshotgunface just because it wouldn't be right without them.
Because they have good genes and we might need that in the future for breeding reasons, I'd take bigshrimpn, Levi, essga, and alex pallix.
And because its a package deal I'd take Jill's Tit.
To fill the role of the red headed step child, I'd take Corellion
To keep everyone in line in the event of mass chaos, I'd take mirka.
And for no particular reason I'd take Phil.
EDIT: Oh man, I forgot moonie! She would be there to just exist and be awesome.
In the event of a food shortage who would I eat first? Thats a hard one. I guess it'd have to be Nightrious cause he's the one I know the least. Not a very good reason I know. I hope there are no hard feelings.
What about you?
1. In the event of a zombie apocalypse, where would you take shelter?
2. Which culties would you want to join you in your shelter?
3. In the event of a food shortage, which cultie would you eat first?
"I'm glad I live in the GPS era. In a different century, I would've set off to visit the other side of the village and wandered off into the mountains and been eaten by a carnivorous plant. Or discovered the Americas."
-LaJessica
[QUOTE=my shotgunface;1127260]wow, that was awesome...and i agree, nothing is right without tom, jane, and myself haha[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=tom9d;1127263]:D
I'm glad I am being taken despite serving no practical purpose. It makes me feel good to know that I'm not needed, just wanted.[/QUOTE]
Thanks alissa 
Both of you would also fall into the good genes category, but you were more importantly included because I <3 you both.
"I'm glad I live in the GPS era. In a different century, I would've set off to visit the other side of the village and wandered off into the mountains and been eaten by a carnivorous plant. Or discovered the Americas."
-LaJessica
Im a Junky alcoholic, does that mean Im not in the good gene pool?
In the event of an outbreak Id probrably hole up in an offshore oil rig.
If anybody feels left out dont worry, Its not that we dont like you, its just that the zombies got to you before we could.
1. In the event of a zombie apocalypse, where would you take shelter?
Well, I would take Shelter somwhere high up, probably a hotel because there'll be plenty of space and i can watch the little zombies below. Also there'll be a big dining room we can have as a communal hall, and there'll be stock piles of food too. Not to mention everyone gets their own room.
2. Which culties would you want to join you in your shelter?
Interesting one.
Say what you like the first one on my list is Ironman. I know he'd keep me sane by constantly challenging me in the face of total solitude as everyone becomes a zombie.
Alex Pallix would be next because she's an 80's throwback bless her and I just know shse's seen enough horror films to make her an [B]expert[/B] on zombies.
I'd want Jane cos she seems motherly (in a fashion) and i think she'd be a good person to be in charge of things... we'll need someone to bring a little order.
If i'm having Ironman for entertainment then I couldn't overlook JT and BigShrimpin so they're in too.
For culture and intelligent debate, I'd have Des, Phil and Franc Tireur.
For safety and also guidance I'd have Frank.
Zombie updates and current affairs... step forward Spike.
And we'll still need fashion parades because we'll have to make our own clothes so we'll need succotash, Synnove, Alissa.
I'd have tom because he's the only guy i know who shares my enthusiam for good ol' fashioned toga parties, gentlemanly dress and, hopefully, capes too.
For the sake of the future I'd take Corellion and Jessica, they'll be the building blocks of the next generation.
3. In the event of a food shortage, which cultie would you eat first?
There will be no food shortage, we're in a hotel. We're [I]fine[/I].
After seeing Dawn of the Dead, how many other people do you think would hole up in some shopping center? And how many of those people do you think wouldnt have the sense to be picky about who they bring along? Youd never make it.
And how exactly are you going to get there? Get in?
In the event of Zombacalypse I'll be staying put right here. In my living room. Barred doors and canned soup galore. I'll be waiting for it to calm down- for survivors to get their bearings and whatnot. Then Ill maybe venture out after a month or so- at which time I would also restock, reload, and notice.
If I could have any Cultie Id take Nightrious. He seems... able. And that would only be if he were sitting the fuck next to me at the start. So this is really a stupid question. Cause its not like Id fucking go out in search of you. Its every man for himself and I really dont have enough food. If you really want to come, youve got to bring something to the table- be it weapons, food, or transportation.
In the event of a food shortage, Id also eat Night. Cause he'd be the only Cultist around.
Im prepared. Are you?
Comic relief? But that means I'd be among the first to die when salvation was oh so close...
I'm pretty sure you named almost everybody, Des.
[QUOTE=Jill's Tit;1127298]I'm pretty sure you named almost everybody, Des.[/QUOTE]
Haha, I'm pretty sure you just insulted all the people she [I]didn't[/I] name 
...Well, you know. It happens.
Also, I'd like to share my amusement in the fact that I won't ever be chosen for myself, but because I'm "part of the deal" with Shrimp. While this is kind of sad, hey, I have my foot in the door, and as long as I'm in... heh heh heh.
she didnt name me
[QUOTE=bearchaser;1127306]she didnt name me.[/QUOTE]
Me too, but that's what I get for being under 1,000 posts. I'm still a Cult boy-child.
[QUOTE=TheJudasCow;1127289]After seeing Dawn of the Dead, how many other people do you think would hole up in some shopping center? [/QUOTE]
That's why my pick would be to go to Juvy. It's fortified, has everything you need, and is somewhat remote. And there's no movies about holding up in Juvy during a zombie apocalypse.
I wouldn't pick people per say...I'll take anyone who's around, even if its people I don't like, which is really no one in particular.
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I protest not getting a signature by writing this after each post.
"They sold you hippies grunge, hip hop, now liberty activism."
Oh man, I forgot moonie! She would be there to just exist and be awesome.
"I'm glad I live in the GPS era. In a different century, I would've set off to visit the other side of the village and wandered off into the mountains and been eaten by a carnivorous plant. Or discovered the Americas."
-LaJessica
[QUOTE=Barca Boy;1127271]Im a Junky alcoholic, does that mean Im not in the good gene pool?[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=monkeywright;1127295]Comic relief? But that means I'd be among the first to die when salvation was oh so close...[/QUOTE]
The reasons I listed for people being chosen weren't the [I]only[/I] reasons. Pretty much everyone there is worthy of breeding. And monkey, you wouldn't be the first to die. The comic relief always sticks around through a good chunk of the movie. And besides, its not a movie! THIS IS REAL!
"I'm glad I live in the GPS era. In a different century, I would've set off to visit the other side of the village and wandered off into the mountains and been eaten by a carnivorous plant. Or discovered the Americas."
-LaJessica
So, anyway:
1. In the event of a zombie apocalypse, where would you take shelter?
Assuming that "zombie apocalypse" means that they're everywhere, and to be able to take shelter somewhere, we'd have to kill all of them in said place first, I'd take refuge on a ship. It provides both shelter [I]and [/I]transportation, which is very important in such an event. A lot of people say they'd hang out at the mall or some building... I think that's really fucking stupid. [I]Especially [/I]if you've watched old zombie flicks. You never, [I]ever[/I], want to be trapped. No matter how good your defenses are. Someone will get sloppy or they zombies will just get more numbers or figure out a way to break in over time. Any animal, no matter how stupid, will find another way [I]eventually[/I]. Barricading yourself somewhere is like sitting on a time bomb. A ship is perfect for a number of reasons: Zombies can't swim. You get to move around. If you find more survivors, you've got room. If your run out of resources in a certain area, you can move to the next one. For anyone saying how we're gonna need gas... well then we'll have to carefully dock, and get some. We would need to do that for food anyway. This would probably be a military ship. Not a very huge one, but one big enough. I'd say a submarine, if I wasn't deadly afraid of them. A sub would be a better choice, after all.
2. Which culties would you want to join you in your shelter?
This isn't a realistic question, as it's all chance (who survives and who doesn't).
3. In the event of a food shortage, which cultie would you eat first?
Not that we'd have a shortage, but hypothetically: whoever's fattest.
[QUOTE=TheJudasCow;1127289]After seeing Dawn of the Dead, how many other people do you think would hole up in some shopping center? And how many of those people do you think wouldnt have the sense to be picky about who they bring along? Youd never make it.
And how exactly are you going to get there? Get in?
In the event of Zombacalypse I'll be staying put right here. In my living room. Barred doors and canned soup galore. I'll be waiting for it to calm down- for survivors to get their bearings and whatnot. Then Ill maybe venture out after a month or so- at which time I would also restock, reload, and notice.
If I could have any Cultie Id take Nightrious. He seems... able. And that would only be if he were sitting the fuck next to me at the start. So this is really a stupid question. Cause its not like Id fucking go out in search of you. Its every man for himself and I really dont have enough food. If you really want to come, youve got to bring something to the table- be it weapons, food, or transportation.
In the event of a food shortage, Id also eat Night. Cause he'd be the only Cultist around.
Im prepared. Are you?[/QUOTE]
The fact that you would stay in your living room completely negates your argument against my shopping center. didn't you see Night of the Living Dead? also, I find the shopping center to be more secure than a mall. There are far less entrances and exits and the stores are basically giant warehouses, there are less confined areas. as far as getting there thats what Nightrious and Frank are for. But the getting there isn't really important, you just have to believe we would all make it there. That is no less believable than the likelihood of an actual zombie apocalypse. Also, thats why wal-mart is great, they have guns and ammo.
As far as it being a stupid question, its not supposed to be serious, its supposed to be FUN.
"I'm glad I live in the GPS era. In a different century, I would've set off to visit the other side of the village and wandered off into the mountains and been eaten by a carnivorous plant. Or discovered the Americas."
-LaJessica
[QUOTE=Jill's Tit;1127319]So, anyway:
1. In the event of a zombie apocalypse, where would you take shelter?
Assuming that "zombie apocalypse" means that they're everywhere, and to be able to take shelter somewhere, we'd have to kill all of them in said place first, I'd take refuge on a ship. It provides both shelter [I]and [/I]transportation, which is very important in such an event. A lot of people say they'd hang out at the mall or some building... I think that's really fucking stupid. [I]Especially [/I]if you've watched old zombie flicks. You never, [I]ever[/I], want to be trapped. No matter how good your defenses are. Someone will get sloppy or they zombies will just get more numbers or figure out a way to break in over time. Any animal, no matter how stupid, will find another way [I]eventually[/I]. Barricading yourself somewhere is like sitting on a time bomb. A ship is perfect for a number of reasons: Zombies can't swim. You get to move around. If you find more survivors, you've got room. If your run out of resources in a certain area, you can move to the next one. For anyone saying how we're gonna need gas... well then we'll have to carefully dock, and get some. We would need to do that for food anyway. This would probably be a military ship. Not a very huge one, but one big enough. I'd say a submarine, if I wasn't deadly afraid of them. A sub would be a better choice, after all.
2. Which culties would you want to join you in your shelter?
This isn't a realistic question, as it's all chance (who survives and who doesn't).
3. In the event of a food shortage, which cultie would you eat first?
Not that we'd have a shortage, but hypothetically: whoever's fattest.[/QUOTE]
A ship is a good idea, but how much more trapped can you be when you are surrounded by miles of ocean?
Again, its not supposed to be realistic. Zombies aren't realistic.
"I'm glad I live in the GPS era. In a different century, I would've set off to visit the other side of the village and wandered off into the mountains and been eaten by a carnivorous plant. Or discovered the Americas."
-LaJessica
Zombies are [I]very [/I]realistic, love.
well then lets just assume we all have the ability to teleport too, cause that is also realistic.
"I'm glad I live in the GPS era. In a different century, I would've set off to visit the other side of the village and wandered off into the mountains and been eaten by a carnivorous plant. Or discovered the Americas."
-LaJessica
Surrounded by miles of ocean isn't exactly trapped, as the ocean has no desire, per se, to eat your brain.
[QUOTE=Jill's Tit;1127332]Surrounded by miles of ocean isn't exactly trapped, as the ocean has no desire, per se, to eat your brain.[/QUOTE]
Can zombies swim? Has that question ever been broached in a zombie film?
Yes, it has. They learn to swim after like a bazillion years.
So we're safe for a bazillion years? I'll take those odds. Boat it is.
[QUOTE=Jill's Tit;1127332]Surrounded by miles of ocean isn't exactly trapped, as the ocean has no desire, per se, to eat your brain.[/QUOTE]
well if we are going with the teleportation idea, then neither one of us is more trapped than the other :nana:
"I'm glad I live in the GPS era. In a different century, I would've set off to visit the other side of the village and wandered off into the mountains and been eaten by a carnivorous plant. Or discovered the Americas."
-LaJessica
Besides, they're still only human. How fucking far can they swim? And, assume that they do learn. And do swim out to my battle-fucking-ship. What're they gonna do then, bang their heads against it? Battleship/submarine for me.
I like to think that the zombies would eventually die out, so it wouldn't be forever.
"I'm glad I live in the GPS era. In a different century, I would've set off to visit the other side of the village and wandered off into the mountains and been eaten by a carnivorous plant. Or discovered the Americas."
-LaJessica
[QUOTE=Jill's Tit;1127341]Besides, they're still only human. How fucking far can they swim? And, assume that they do learn. And do swim out to my battle-fucking-ship. What're they gonna do then, bang their heads against it? Battleship/submarine for me.[/QUOTE]
I really like the idea, but thats when the food supply becomes a major issue.
"I'm glad I live in the GPS era. In a different century, I would've set off to visit the other side of the village and wandered off into the mountains and been eaten by a carnivorous plant. Or discovered the Americas."
-LaJessica
[QUOTE=ScribblingDes;1127339]well if we are going with the teleportation idea, then neither one of us is more trapped than the other :nana:[/QUOTE]
Logically speaking, if we're so advanced in the future that we have teleportation devices, we'd probably be able to find a cure for whatever the hell is making people zombies anyway.
That, or we could teleport them into the sun.
[QUOTE=elegantly_bitter;1127335]Can zombies swim? Has that question ever been broached in a zombie film?[/QUOTE]
Well dead bodies float to the extent of my knowledge, and I think a zombie is just a glorified dead body so if they can't swim, they could at least float, so in conclusion, I don't know.
[QUOTE=ScribblingDes;1127344]I really like the idea, but thats when the food supply becomes a major issue.[/QUOTE]
That's right, but there's a risk in any place you're in if there's a zombie apocalypse. A ship is the most practical, I think, because you're safe out in the ocean, and when you need to dock for food and supplies, there's really only like one major entrance, which would not only be heavily guarded at the time of port, but only open in general when the supplies team goes and comes. And - in a worst case scenario - if they do start to break through, you could always just leave the port.
Ok, I have another question: Is the entire world suffering from the zombie apocalypse, or just whichever country you happen to reside in?
[QUOTE=elegantly_bitter;1127353]Ok, I have another question: Is the entire world suffering from the zombie apocalypse, or just whichever country you happen to reside in?[/QUOTE]
It depends. In your case, I would say just your country because it's a big ass island so it's logical it might be restricted to just you. For most people, it would probably spread all over the place, because their is no difference to zombies between america and canada.
[QUOTE=Mricpx;1127356]It depends. In your case, I would say just your country because it's a big ass island so it's logical it might be restricted to just you. For most people, it would probably spread all over the place, because their is no difference to zombies between america and canada.[/QUOTE]
So its every continent or island out for themselves.
In that case, I'd jump on an airplane, and fly over to wherever is still safe.
[QUOTE=elegantly_bitter;1127358]So its every continent or island out for themselves.
In that case, I'd jump on an airplane, and fly over to wherever is still safe.[/QUOTE]
Ya know what, nevermind. A zombie or two is bound to slip by and get to other parts my boat or plane, and then we're all screwed.
[QUOTE=elegantly_bitter;1127353]Ok, I have another question: Is the entire world suffering from the zombie apocalypse, or just whichever country you happen to reside in?[/QUOTE]
I think it would spread.
"I'm glad I live in the GPS era. In a different century, I would've set off to visit the other side of the village and wandered off into the mountains and been eaten by a carnivorous plant. Or discovered the Americas."
-LaJessica
[QUOTE=ScribblingDes;1127326]A ship is a good idea, but how much more trapped can you be when you are surrounded by miles of ocean?
Again, its not supposed to be realistic. Zombies aren't realistic.[/QUOTE]
The fact that youve never seen my living room or house- and that you dont know how insane I am when it comes to undead survival and defense means that you dont know that I would probably be the last surviving woman on the planet.
Also, theres nothing fun about zombies. I dont know why I have to take it so seriously... but it starting to have an effect on my life.
Judas and I have very similar (and serious) feelings about the zombie apocalypse.
I would become the leader of the zombie resistance and lead them to the extermination of every male in that group. Except Jill's Tit. I would keep him had pet. We will have the bloodiest battle know in Zombie History, So be It!
Attack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol
Some friends of mine from school have a detailed plan as to what they want to do in the event of a zombie apocalypse. It involves camping out in our local hardware store. They spent many hours explaining the logistics of it to me, so I'd probably end up with them. It's a good plan.
[QUOTE=elegantly_bitter;1127446]Some friends of mine from school have a detailed plan as to what they want to do in the event of a zombie apocalypse. It involves camping out in our local hardware store. They spent many hours explaining the logistics of it to me, so I'd probably end up with them. It's a good plan.[/QUOTE]
I once saw a book about it. I pick it up, look at the wepons and put it down.
Hardware store = no food.
[QUOTE=Mricpx;1127450]Hardware store = no food.[/QUOTE]
That was my first criticism...
BUT
My friends then informed me that the hardware store in question has a cafe, which sells a whole variety of foods and drinks. The store also sells water in bulk, 10 litre jugs of bottled water, so there would be no risk of dehydration. The store has a garden section, filled with fruit and vegetable plants, as well as seeds for every plant under the sun, so we would be able to regrow everything after all the zombies are dead.
I think a hardware store would be a good place to go. Not one that has a cafe....
what kind of fucking hardware store has a cafe? A pansy fucking hardware store, if you ask me.
I think though, if you brought your own supply of food that a hardware store could be a good place to go. Small and secure. First floor, two entrances, and supplies galore.
[QUOTE=TheJudasCow;1127465]I think a hardware store would be a good place to go. Not one that has a cafe....
what kind of fucking hardware store has a cafe? A pansy fucking hardware store, if you ask me. [/QUOTE]
A hardware store that is so huge they reason that people will need refreshments after walking through all the aisles. Your hardware stores are a bit behind the times, aren't they?
Oh, I justy remembered that the Home Depot near my house is directly connected to a BJ's. We could just put a hole in one of the connecting walls and it'd be a perfect place to stay forever.
edit: It's actually Lowes, but they're practically the same place. This also seems like such a good plan I'm half looking forward to it.
A lot of your plans are only good for a very short while, guys.
[QUOTE=Jill's Tit;1127471]A lot of your plans are only good for a very short while, guys.[/QUOTE]
What brings you to that conclusion?
[QUOTE=Jill's Tit;1127471]A lot of your plans are only good for a very short while, guys.[/QUOTE]
I don't think you're boat plan is that great. Seems like you'll be putting yourself in danger alot whenever you have to dock.
Simply the fact that eventually, stuff runs out. All that water that's stocked will be gone within a week. The seeds take time to grow, more time than you have. I'd say you'd have about a week before you need to go out. And don't forget, not one other place will have an infinite stock, either. So each time you venture out, you'll have to go further and further. Also, without energy, what the hell are you gonna be doing, sitting in a hardware store? You accidentally knock something down in the knight because you can't see, and zombies will be flocking the buildings like dirty soldiers on a viet-cong whore.
The most important factor is, how long is this zombie outbreak going to last? You have to assume and prepare for the worst.
I'm glad I am being taken despite serving no practical purpose. It makes me feel good to know that I'm not needed, just wanted.