Your technique/going in for the kill.

Well i'm the kind of girl...oh wait i'm a guy, I'm the kind of guy who doesn't have to do shit cause girls think i'm fun and i dress good.

i hate girls like you.
i'm done with the whole pickup thing. if someone's interested, you can tell with body communication. then i just go over and introduce myself.

the feeling is mutual.
Was it you that used the first joke on me last new year then? Sorry for laughing in your face in that case.

no, i live in the land of dental hygene.

Best pickup line ever: "What would you say to a night of hot sex?"

[QUOTE=NeilFarted]no, i live in the land of dental hygene.[/QUOTE]
and fatasses.

I think it's pretty lame of girls to laugh at unsuccessful hitting attempts. Like, do it yourself if you think it's so easypie. All that girls ever do is just sitting there and smiling and looking good or bad respectively. I mean, it's okay, that's how things work, hunter and hunted, but then the least girls can do is stop complaining. Girls complain about guys much more than guys complain about girls.

Personally, I just smile and introduce myself or ask her for a dance. But that's when I'm sober. When I'm drunk I'm much more direct, using body language and all. Although that hasn't been the case for quite some time now, being drunk and hitting on girls, that is.

the last time I tried to do...kind of what you are talking about, was when I was really drunk.
I took to aside and said "so, I really like you. a lot." "OK." "do you like me?" "I like you a lot."

or something like that...it's a little fuzzy. I passed out directly after it happened. but there's the basic conversation. I thought that I was being all bold and shit.

Best pick up line ever:

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it.

[QUOTE=stoyan]I think it's pretty lame of girls to laugh at unsuccessful hitting attempts. Like, do it yourself if you think it's so easypie. All that girls ever do is just sitting there and smiling and looking good or bad respectively. I mean, it's okay, that's how things work, hunter and hunted, but then the least girls can do is stop complaining. Girls complain about guys much more than guys complain about girls.[/QUOTE]
Agreed. But, when people are so incredibly un-natural, it is rather funny. i.e. the jokes. The guessing of your perfume, 'your eyes are so beautiful. You remind me of this greek statue of Persephone that I saw in my holiday in Athens...'

[QUOTE=stoyan]Personally, I just smile and introduce myself or ask her for a dance. But that's when I'm sober. When I'm drunk I'm much more direct, using body language and all. Although that hasn't been the case for quite some time now, being drunk and hitting on girls, that is.[/QUOTE]
That's natural.

ugh. no....scratch that.

what I did that more relates to the topic was far less cool. it was with the same girl though.
she was about to take a shower and without even thinking, I go "want me to join you!?"

oh yes. feel how smooth I am.

"What do you say we go back to my place? I'll cook you a steak and give you a blowjob..."

I used the 'come here often?' one as a joke on two gay businessmen. Good times.
'I almost had sex with another girl' works wonders for a free pint too.

[QUOTE=9.10.84]ugh. no....scratch that.

what I did that more relates to the topic was far less cool. it was with the same girl though.
she was about to take a shower and without even thinking, I go "want me to join you!?"

oh yes. feel how smooth I am.[/QUOTE]
Indeed, very smooth.

I can't really think of actualy pick-up lines I've used...

Really, now that I thin of it, like, 90% of the time when I make out with some girl at a party I'm drunk. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but drunk. And this really helps. Then I just skip the words and go straight for what I want. Of course it doesn't work out always, but sometimes it does.

One advice: Never, ever, try to get a girl drunk. At this one party, we thought about getting some girls drunk. We asked them if they want a bloody mary. They said yes and we went to the kitchen. Well, the alcohol/juice ration in our glasses was 1:3 while theirs was rather vice versa. What happened wasn't nice at all. They got really drunk and fucked up and made out with other guys and were later really really messed up.

this is also me going in for the kill:
setting: driving in the car.

"do you like this music?"
"Rollins Band? oh yea I really like them."
"oh my god we have to get married!!"
"ohhhkay."

Oh, are we supposed to give ones _we've_ used?

I once stood in the hall on the way to the Ladies' room, asking every passerby, "You're a Capricorn, aren't you? I can totally tell!"

I was pretty loaded.

Got a couple phone numbers and a date for the rest of the evening.

I don't know why there needs to be lines at all. We both know what is going on, so basically when we indulge in this dance, we are mutually agreeing to play games. Like, the model line - I get that all the time. I can accept that some men might find me cute, but let's just be honest here. I am not a friggin' model, never would be never will be. And if you think crap like that is going to work on me, that means you automatically assume that I am an idiot. That isn't a good way to get into my pants.

I like the way you think. Next time a guy says that, my retort will be sorted.

[QUOTE=alene]I don't know why there needs to be lines at all. We both know what is going on, so basically when we indulge in this dance, we are mutually agreeing to play games. Like, the model line - I get that all the time. I can accept that some men might find me cute, but let's just be honest here. I am not a friggin' model, never would be never will be. And if you think crap like that is going to work on me, that means you automatically assume that I am an idiot. That isn't a good way to get into my pants.[/QUOTE]

How about, "Hey horse face, mind if I strap a saddle on ya?"
(runs and ducks for cover)

[QUOTE=Tuffy the Dump Truck]Oh, are we supposed to give ones _we've_ used?

I once stood in the hall on the way to the Ladies' room, asking every passerby, "You're a Capricorn, aren't you? I can totally tell!"

I was pretty loaded.

Got a couple phone numbers and a date for the rest of the evening.[/QUOTE]
Did you try that on Gwen Stefani?

[QUOTE=meatthinker]How about, "Hey horse face, mind if I strap a saddle on ya?"
(runs and ducks for cover)[/QUOTE]
Really nice one.

[QUOTE=alene]I don't know why there needs to be lines at all.[/QUOTE]
Some conversation has to take place. In order to start, someone has to break through the invisible wall of unfamiliarity. Most men, admittedly, are really bad at this.

[QUOTE=SnowWhite]Did you try that on Gwen Stefani?[/QUOTE]
No, this was years later.

[QUOTE=Tuffy the Dump Truck]Some conversation has to take place. In order to start, someone has to break through the invisible wall of unfamiliarity. Most men, admittedly, are really bad at this.[/QUOTE]
I think dancing does this best. Cause after one or two dances you sit down and get your drink and can talk about anything you like.

I wait for girls to come to me.

I'm still waiting...

I really like the starsigns thing.

A friend and I saw this hot guy and pretended to know him. We asked if he was called 'Nathan' and oddly enough, it was. It did fuel the conversation for about an hour.

the trick is being approachable... i find dancing like a retard usually does it.

[QUOTE=Tuffy the Dump Truck]Some conversation has to take place. In order to start, someone has to break through the invisible wall of unfamiliarity. Most men, admittedly, are really bad at this.[/QUOTE]

Ok, but conversation isn't "Hey, are you a model? You have nice tits!"

If guys want my advise, try to pretend like you are just striking up a conversation with a girl that you do not find attractive at all. What would you say then? Just starting a conversation with someone that seems interesting but you don't want to sack. The conversation is going to be more natural and isn't going to come across as a game, you know, even though it still is.

Or you can always offer to buy her a drink and let her start the conversation. That works best with me.

[QUOTE=lofivinyl]the trick is being approachable... i find dancing like a retard usually does it.[/QUOTE]
It is for this reason that I avoid dancing if at all possible.

[QUOTE=alene]try to pretend like you are just striking up a conversation with a girl that you do not find attractive at all.[/QUOTE]
You're kidding yourself, Alene. Guys do [b]not[/b] strike up conversations with girls that they do not find attractive.

[QUOTE=9.10.84]the last time I tried to do...kind of what you are talking about, was when I was really drunk.
I took to aside and said "so, I really like you. a lot." "OK." "do you like me?" "I like you a lot."

or something like that...it's a little fuzzy. I passed out directly after it happened. but there's the basic conversation. I thought that I was being all bold and shit.[/QUOTE]

I think that kind of bumbling is endearing.

[QUOTE=Tuffy the Dump Truck]You're kidding yourself, Alene. Guys do [b]not[/b] strike up conversations with girls that they do not find attractive.[/QUOTE]

Sure they do. At school, at work, lots of non-sexual places. Guys aren't THAT shallow. Right guys! Um... guys? Right? Guys....?

[QUOTE=fullmetalbrak]I think that kind of bumbling is endearing.[/QUOTE]
me too. I bet Autumn would be King Pimp round these parts: giving Hugh Grant a run for his money I'm sure!

[QUOTE=alene]Sure they do. At school, at work, lots of non-sexual places. Guys aren't THAT shallow. Right guys! Um... guys? Right? Guys....?[/QUOTE]

*crickets*

[QUOTE=Tuffy the Dump Truck]You're kidding yourself, Alene. Guys do [b]not[/b] strike up conversations with girls that they do not find attractive.[/QUOTE]

Girls don't necessarily know what guys think is attractive either, or what they're going to attract. I think most women think they are fatter than they really are. A lot dress to young or too old.

Also, for me "attractive" involves a lot of other things besides just physical appearance. I think Gwen Stefani has a nice body, but I'd go limp the second she opens her mouth and something stupid comes out, some chicks are just like that for me. Give me Kate Winslet or even Rene Russo, age isn't that important either, within limits anyway.

[QUOTE]I think that kind of bumbling is endearing.[/QUOTE][QUOTE]me too. I bet Autumn would be King Pimp round these parts: giving Hugh Grant a run for his money I'm sure![/QUOTE]

this is another effective pick-up tool, I have found. be so much of a lame that it's like...too cute.

girls are weird like that. this girl I am with now! we were having food and stuff one day. and I can't remember if I was talking, with a lot of hand gestures, or just fidgiting a lot. but I ended up knocking a cup of coffee over all over the place. on the table, on the booth, all over her. her pants. her....white...pants.
so I was like "god you are going to get tired of dating such a spastic klutz." and she said that no, she would much rather date a me that knocked over shit all the time, than a me who didn't do that kind of stuff.

[QUOTE=meatthinker]Girls don't necessarily know what guys think is attractive either, or what they're going to attract. I think most women think they are fatter than they really are. A lot dress to young or too old.

Also, for me "attractive" involves a lot of other things besides just physical appearance. I think Gwen Stefani has a nice body, but I'd go limp the second she opens her mouth and something stupid comes out, some chicks are just like that for me. Give me Kate Winslet or even Rene Russo, age isn't that important either, within limits anyway.[/QUOTE]

I know that you are right. But it is the same for guys, they have no idea what a girl finds attractive. This might be because what a girl finds attractive is a mystery to them, too. As much as I hate to reference Sex in the City, they had a really great episode where the girls talk about a guy. Charolette knew he was no good because he brought carnations, so she would never date him. But Carrie loves carnations and would date a guy that buys them anytime. But Charolette admits that she would date a guy that buys her carnations if it was the right guy. That pretty much sums it up. Any rules that girls have are totally irrelevant when you meet the right guy. That is why magazines that tell you what girls really find hot are nothing more than fire starter material. Someone is guaranteed to find you attractive. And someone is guaranteed to not.

I can't stand long hair on guys, it just doesn't ever ever look good. I have not gone out with guys because of the fact that they have long hair. Guys that were otherwise just fine. But the guy I live with now has long hair... go figure.

[QUOTE=9.10.84]this is another effective pick-up tool, I have found. be so much of a lame that it's like...too cute.

girls are weird like that. this girl I am with now! we were having food and stuff one day. and I can't remember if I was talking, with a lot of hand gestures, or just fidgiting a lot. but I ended up knocking a cup of coffee over all over the place. on the table, on the booth, all over her. her pants. her....white...pants.
so I was like "god you are going to get tired of dating such a spastic klutz." and she said that no, she would much rather date a me that knocked over shit all the time, than a me who didn't do that kind of stuff.[/QUOTE]
That's so cute. Is this the one you're living with?

[QUOTE=SnowWhite]That's so cute. Is this the one you're living with?[/QUOTE]
sure is. I always thought that that was one of the coolest things anybody had ever said to me. it was one of those "oh my god we have to get married!!" moments.

[QUOTE=alene]Any rules that girls have are totally irrelevant when you meet the right guy. That is why magazines that tell you what girls really find hot are nothing more than fire starter material. Someone is guaranteed to find you attractive. And someone is guaranteed to not.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, my wife knew that I was [I]the right guy[/I] very early on even though I didn't fit the picture of the kind of guy that she would go out with. I wrote her this goofy note on the noteboard on her dorm room door, and somehow she knew at that instant. She didn't fit the picture of the kind of girl I would go out with either, because I'd go for self-absorbed bitches with big boobs who hated my guts kind of thing, or something like that, god I was soooo stupid. But the fact that we weren't the type that we'd normally go out with has a lot to do with our relationship lasting, like the type of people we were normally attracted to was exactly the opposite of what we really needed.

[QUOTE=9.10.84]this is another effective pick-up tool, I have found. be so much of a lame that it's like...too cute.

girls are weird like that. this girl I am with now! we were having food and stuff one day. and I can't remember if I was talking, with a lot of hand gestures, or just fidgiting a lot. but I ended up knocking a cup of coffee over all over the place. on the table, on the booth, all over her. her pants. her....white...pants.
so I was like "god you are going to get tired of dating such a spastic klutz." and she said that no, she would much rather date a me that knocked over shit all the time, than a me who didn't do that kind of stuff.[/QUOTE]

Sounds like a gay guy, like John Liguizamo.

Guys aren't pathetic with this, we have practise.
Girls, now they're pathetic. They have the old, "Pretend to be an idiot" routine, where they ask questions with obvious answers to pretend they're interested. Some girl came into the gas bar, and I was reading a book. You could tell she has never read a thing in her life, other than the "Please turn off engine before installaiton" warnings written on fan belts, which were written with her type in mind.
So she asks what I'm reading, and I say it's a book called The Vampire Lestat. She asks if it's scary, and then she asks what I do all night in such a boring job, then she asks a couple of questions about how the gas pumps work, knowing she doesn't care, and thinking I work at a gas station because I have an interest in fucking petrolium.

Then there's the "look how much I suck at everything" routine. This, is truely pathetic. This is where they ask to play basketball with you, and then they play extra horribly and laugh as if it's cute, doing the stereotypical granny throws and yelling with high pitched screaches when you try to take the ball from them. Really, they ruin the game, annoy the hell out of you, and make you feel like a jerk when you tell them to piss off. But for some reason they think they're being cute and friendly.
The worst has to be the "accidental ass/tit showing", this is where they'll be walking by the television, and they'll stop directly in front of you, show you their ass, and then ask what you're watching. Then they look at you like, "Oh you little pervent" for taking a peak at the ass that was served in front of you. The purposefull drop and pick up with a low cut shirt, the accidental brush under the table, the "feel this fabric, it's really soft," this is all grand slut material.

I think the reason rude bitches turn me on is because they aren't being pathetic in trying to.

[QUOTE=meatthinker]I'd go for self-absorbed bitches with big boobs who hated my guts kind of thing, or something like that, god I was soooo stupid.[/QUOTE]

Yes, that [I]is[/I] rather stupid. Other than the big tits, what the heck was the attraction to this kind of woman?

And Night, if I ever shot hoops with you, I'd totally try and smoke ya.

Nightrous has it right, this is the only tactic we women have. He is such an untapped source of knowledge.

still waiting...

Well, to make you feel better, you and disx were naked in my dream the other night...to be crude.

^Yowza!

While you're waiting Fino, wanna share a box of Hot Tamales or bag of jellybeans perhaps?

Yes, it was rather creepy!

I don't approach strangers. I do, however, find it flattering and baffling when a stranger approaches me. The other night at a bar I was sitting at a table watching my friends play a game of pool, sort of spaced out. Just keeping to myself when this girl sits down across from me at this little two top table and says hi. She said it like she knew me. Like we had made prior plans to meet there and she was just running a little late. It was nice.
but for the most part I keep to myself. I frequent plenty of bars, and the game of pick up is just very unappealing to me. I don't mind meeting new people, it's just not how I would go about finding a companion or whatever.

[QUOTE=SnowWhite]Well, to make you feel better, you and disx were naked in my dream the other night...to be crude.[/QUOTE]

I hope you werent talking about me.

[QUOTE=fullmetalbrak]
While you're waiting Fino, wanna share a box of Hot Tamales or bag of jellybeans perhaps?[/QUOTE]

To hell with your devil's candy! How about some steaks?