You Throw Good, FOR A GIRL!

Wow, Mirka! That's... wow!

That's when you say: "No I'm just a poor college student. Take me shopping old man."

Hahha, noooooooo. I replied: "I'm not interested in having dinner with you". He persisted and bought me a coat! Like what, I was gonna wear a coat over my shitty clothes at some swank dinner joint!? He was also my boss. I also quit later that week.

Hahaa! Holy shit, wow.

Were you his secretary?

I hope it was a nice coat. It'd be nice to have something as a reward for putting up with an asshole like that.

At least you got a coat out of the deal...

I didn't keep the coat!

I was an apartment cleaner, I cleaned apartments between tenants in an apartment building in London. I was an illegal alien in England at the time!

Ooh! Intrigue!

Nah, it was adventure! I overstayed my tourist visa and worked so I could stay in London. I also worked at a barmaid besides the cleaning.

Cool story Mirka. Also why haven't you posted Jimmy Stewart in my Classic Movie Stars thread! I was kind of hoping you would.

Jimmy, Greg and I are a hustling over as I type this!

How long were you there for?

I've never been anywhere outside the US before. It almost happened last year, but plans fell through and I wasn't able to make it. [sad face]

Eight months and when I left I was told that I couldn't return for 10 years for overstaying my visa. That was a major drag...I had no idea of the consequences when I decided to stay.

Where were you going last year? Do you still want to go?

I was going to Australia. Loooooong story! I would still like to go, but there's no way I could afford it right now. I still have a passport, but my visa just ran out, or is just about to run out. Wow, I just realized that.

Anyway. That sucks that you couldn't go back for 10 years! When will you be able to go back?

I've never been to Australia. I'd love to visit!
The 10 years went by really fast, too fast! :)I've been back a few times now.

I think I'd prefer going to England than I would Australia (no offense, Matty!) I do have quite a few friends in AU, though. Internet friends, but STILL! I actually never really wanted to go until the opportunity came up last year and I was gonna see kangaroos and koalas and experience a whole new life and I was looking forward to it a lot more than I thought I would be.

Eventually I'll go, but I'll make sure the circumstances for my visit to anywhere are more solid that way there's no chance of it falling through like it did.

Australia is still on my list. However Ireland is very inexpensive to go to these days. I just went to Dublin for 5 days last October. We loved it there so much it makes us want to move there. If it was economically viable that is.

My grandma was the queen of this. Examples:

Her to an enormous woman in a Sizzler. "I'd stick with the salad, if I were you. You have beautiful, dainty little ankles and it would be such a shame if the rest of you snapped them."

"Your skin is positively glowing! If you weren't rail thin, I'd say you looked pregnant!"

"Oh, you are so sweet! You remind me of the down syndrome girl at the grocery store. Of course, you are probably a bit smarter."

And so on.

HAHAHa! Those are great Mena. Why is it that older people come out with this brilliant wit? I feel like they say fuck it! I have nothing to lose might as well make all these backhanded comments while I still have time.

I feel like I just made a backhanded comment about old people.

Hahhahahahhaah. I laughed out loud. My favorite is the first one.

Speaking of old people, my friend Alex's grandmother never wants to leave her house because she's afraid that strangers might break in and use her toilet or make long distance phone calls.

I want more examples. Those are brilliant!

I'm pretty sure my grandma's always been that way, she just gets away with it more now.

Me: Grandma, I don't know what to do, I don't have the money for rent!
Grandma: Oh honey, I'm sure you'll figure something out. You are so smart. Say, did you know that it's not prostitution if it's only $100?

"Your husband is so handsome! He has Cary Grant's eyes! And Benji's smile."

"What an adorable little baby. It would be a shame to find it in a trash can."

"Wow, you did all this landscaping yourselves? I would have thought you paid the neighbor boys to do it!" (the boys were 6 and 8)

On my making the dean's list in college: I am so proud of you. I knew you could do it! (under her breath) Did you let 'em in the "back door"?

HAhahaha! those are amazing.

That reminds me of things my dad says about my school. In high school when he would read my essays, he would say things like, "That's almost as good as what I would have written when I was your age!"

Bastard.

I get these too. I've been told I look Spanish, European, British.. I'm not really sure what people are going for with that, whether it's just a conversation starter or what.

The funniest some guy at a bus stop one time:
"Hey, are you Polish?"
"No, I'm not"
"Oh.. you just have that arctic skin"
"!?!??"

Arctic skin. I suppose it just means I'm really pale. Which I am, but he had a funny way of saying it.

I love stories like that. I'm half-Indian (like the country) and half-white (Dutch, actually), and very few people can figure out what I am. So, people are constantly guessing. I've gotten Greek, Italian, Hispanic (a lot), Native American, French...I don't know what people haven't guessed I am. Probably Polish or Swedish, ha. I actually feel guilty when people approach me as if I'm Latina and ask if I speak Spanish. I don't.

Interesting.

Ha, thanks. I found out one of my coworker's last names is Van Niekirk, and I asked if she was Dutch. Yeah, she is, but through South Africa.

I found that really interesting.

That's cool. Do you have a Dutch last name, or?

"Youre the best litttle accident I ever made." -Mom

Imke wrote:

That's cool. Do you have a Dutch last name, or?

I feel a game of connect the dutch coming on...

Jesrad wrote:

Imke wrote:

That's cool. Do you have a Dutch last name, or?

I feel a game of connect the dutch coming on...

Ha. I don't, but my mom's maiden name is Van Duzer. It's her middle name now, because Tennessee is crazy. (If you don't have a middle name and get married there, your maiden name has to become your middle name.)

I get the following ALL the time:

Random Person: "You look like a friend of mine."

The following are responses I've used.

Me: I am him. (Serious looking stare while ominous music plays in my head)
Me: That's cause I ate him and absorbed his likeness.
Me: Great, give me your number and we'll hang out sometime.
Me: This friend... he's cool, right?
Me: I'm an average weight, brown haired white guy. I look like a lot of people.

Much like "You look English", I don't know whether this is a compliment or not.

Someone once said to me, "I'm gonna make a movie out of your life... and it's gonna suuuuuck!"

My grandmother told me that she doesn't think I'll ever get married.
Not because I wouldn't want to get married, but because I couldn't.

It's not back-handed compliment. Just an insult.

Wowowow! My grandma always insinuated that I have a multitude of boyfriends. And by "insinuate" I mean she comes right out and says it.

I think of this frequently, and laugh.

I don't know how many times I've heard "You are so hot." Like, a gazillion. I have also heard "Your tits are like baby melons cute and yummy."

I'm so sorry people find you attractive. Your life must be so difficult.

You don't know what its like.

Being attractive sucks. They all stare. Please stop staring.

It's like i'm a celebrity and everyone else is a papparazzi. Also, I hate when dykes hit on me.

It's exactly like being a celebrity. I feel really sexy sometimes.

Wait, weren't you ranting about this exact thing like a week ago?

Yeah I have the same problem. Its like I'm a celebrity. Everywhere I go people look at me strange. They tend to walk on the opposite sides of the street than I do. They even change to the opposite side of the street when I walk towards them, they must know I like my space and privacy. Must be all the tattoos...

I hate when girls tell me that my penis is too big. Also they can stop telling me I'm the best looking guy that has ever talked to them. It would be nice if they would just stop washing their clothes on my awesome six pack once in a while too.

The worst thing though, is when I get free food and free clothes everywhere I go.

FML

Yeah I totally understand....