When you grab the bull by the horns today...what exactly are you going to do with it?
Huh? Will you try to wrestle it? Try to leash it up and make it your pet? Or will you just grasp helplessly in the clutches of near death, hoping for some divine intervention to guide you through the next step? Do you even have a point to grabbing it? Do you know how you're going to grab it? It is a bull, you know. They just tell you to grab the bull like it's such a simple thing to do if you believe hard enough. One of the hardest things you could ever do in life is grab a damn bull by it's horns. Infact, for YOU, it's impossible. That is a feat you will never accomplish in life. Can't you just ride the bull instead? Even that's probably not a good idea. Are you at least going to try? Well that's good. Idiot. Who are these lifeists? These people, just telling you to do these things? Are they trying to kill you? Are these lifeists actually deathists? All these fitness gurus and born-agains and YES YOU CAN YES YOU CAN folk...are they actually stone cold killers on a psychotic idealist's mission to end humanity? Is it all a fraud? What's that country where they unleash the bulls in the street and run from them? They do it as a yearly annual event. A sport. I forget who does that. Brazil or Spain or something. Then you got those psychos who climb a mountain cliff face with nothing but a bungee cord and booty shorts to improve their IQ. Motorcycle speeders who want to feel the planet. Street lugers becoming a piece of wind. Cave spelunkers hunting for spiritual enlightenment. Deep sea divers who need to swim with the rapist dolphins as a form of yoga. Jungle explorers ready to get up close with the face-ripping monkeys for a better libido. Somebody put all these ideas in their heads. They read somebody's books or saw somebody's TV spot and absorbed these suicidal messages cloaked in POSITIVE ENGERY and SECRETS TO LIFE IMPROVEMENT. This is a PSA. DON'T GRAB A BULL. STAY YOUNG LONGER. GET AWAY FROM THAT LEDGE. PUT SOME PANTS ON. Don't even go into the bull pen. There is nothing good in there. I guess if you survive, you'll win ten thousand dollars or something. (LINK REMOVED) We are the life gurus and we care.