What makes you horny?

When you jump, and you eventually land, that's science. So believe in it because it's real.

Germs? I don't believe in germs. Little tiny things floating around in the air that make you sick? That's ridiculous.

Um. Can't you see germs under a microscope or something?

I can't believe we're even having this conversation. Science exists, period.

It was a joke. That was my sorry attempt at paraphrasing 12 Monkeys. I haven't seen it for a while so my memory is hazy.

When I jump and land it's the work of evil gnomes that have invisible ropes tied around my ankles to prevent me from escaping this hellish slave colony of a planet.

Am I the only one who sees the sky as a great blue wall to a prison?

I think what makes me horny the most is chicks. See, they got boobs and all the pussies, so I don't have much of a choice in the matter. See, fat people, they don't get horny like I do. They get horny for food. See, it's either food or sex. Blind adoration makes me so horny! Bring me a saucy wench!

Black guys playing chess. Motorcycle helmets. Easily distracted types with bad fashion who make exaggerated statements and touch me without asking for permission. Hottttchaxxxzza

[QUOTE=Maddetchke Malorkus]Black guys playing chess. Motorcycle helmets. Easily distracted types with bad fashion who make exaggerated statements and touch me without asking for permission. Hottttchaxxxzza[/QUOTE]

oh! i CAN DO THAT TOO! LET ME TRY MY HAND AT THIS!

Um... like what makes me horny is, like, hot thin chicks with eating disorders and a fat stepkid and giant boobies in a frumpy sweatshirt the color of split pea soup buzzing in my ear about coconut tanning lotionsand seedless sunflower seeds at bargain basement prices outside the prison where they are visiting their rapist drug dealer son who is some older dude's bitch because he has no balls and asks his mom stepmom for cookies to appease the beast so he won't get assraped again without lubricant like the last week!

But, I was being serious.

You know what though, all that stuff is just garnish on something that already does it for me for other shallow reasons like looking good. I'd like to have odd, complicated, quirky things about my personality but I don't.

[QUOTE=Alex]Am I the only one who sees the sky as a great blue wall to a prison?[/QUOTE]

Just stunned me into total immobility.

Thanks, dude.

Ankle jewelry, but I don't know why, I definitely do not have a foot fetish. Henna "tattoo" on hands and feet is sexy, too.

[QUOTE=Maddetchke Malorkus]But, I was being serious.

You know what though, all that stuff is just garnish on something that already does it for me for other shallow reasons like looking good. I'd like to have odd, complicated, quirky things about my personality but I don't.[/QUOTE]

I just question the whole black men playing chess thing. Either you have a Bryant Gumbel black man who acts like white man fetish or you are into black men who can prove they are not dumb by playing chess, as if it takes smarts to play chess, or maybe the chess pieces contrast with their black skin in some way that makes you think of louisiana trouser snake pants python or youjust like big black dongs...

I'll get horny flipping by the Spanish Channel. Or an informercial. I don't need porno.

[QUOTE=Brother Supremo]I'll get horny flipping by the Spanish Channel. Or an informercial. I don't need porno.[/QUOTE]

Everything makes me horny too. I don't need porno. I like it though cause it's got pictures of poon!

[QUOTE=Brock Landers]I just question the whole black men playing chess thing. Either you have a Bryant Gumbel black man who acts like white man fetish or you are into black men who can prove they are not dumb by playing chess, as if it takes smarts to play chess, or maybe the chess pieces contrast with their black skin in some way that makes you think of louisiana trouser snake pants python or youjust like big black dongs...[/QUOTE]
When I was in college this afro-centrist pseudo-scientist gave a talk titled something like "The Effects of Melanin in the Brain." She then spent the whole time saying things like "only white people can be racist" and "white women like receiving chocolates with nuts in a heart-shaped box because it reminds them of a black man's scrotum." It just went on and on like one big, nutty, rant with nary a mention of any actual neurology or research or brain chemistry.

[QUOTE=Six On The Dot]Boys with ok teeth and no facial hair.[/QUOTE]
That would be a pretty high percentage of the pre-adult male population I would think. Do you like get horny at the drop of a hat?

[QUOTE=Six On The Dot]Boys with ok teeth and no facial hair.[/QUOTE]

It's times like this when I wish I wasn't such a man! Damn! My problem is I keep forgetting I can't recapture my youth by fucking it and my idea of a relationship is talking to someone after I have fucked them. You know at birth when the doctor cuts cut the umbilical cord... what would happen if, like, if it was never cut? It'd probably be pretty fucking embarrassing, wouldn't it? Especially at my age...

[QUOTE=Brother Supremo]I'll get horny flipping by the Spanish Channel. Or an informercial. I don't need porno.[/QUOTE]
LATINAS! They make me crazy!

I like facial hair...only if it’s clean and short. I love accents! Preferably Irish!

Nothing makes me hornier than being with a girl who is as horny and ready to go as I am. It takes two to have great sex. She can't just lie on her back and expect to come unless she's willing to put something into it. Talking, rubbing, kissing, something. You get what you give, folks.

Nothing will make me go limp faster than someone who just isn't into it. Like this one time this escort was trying to rip me off for $500 on top of the agency fee, which is utter bullshit. She wasn't gonna leave and I had already given her the fee. All I had was an extra hundred and all that got me was a hj. She pulled out some green herbal lotion shit. C'mon, if you're gonna stroke me off with lube of some sort it should at least be Vaseline or AstroGlide. Not lotion. What was that line from Choke, "Anything meant to soften the skin seemed counterintuitive." The job itself wasn't all that great either. She was giving me this weird intense stare. I'm guessing she was doing "sexy". Or trying to anyway. The only thing that got me to come was seeing her Double-D's. Plus, she let me slide a finger in her and that helped. Yeah, nothing worse than someone who ain't into it.... Wait, did I just say all that?! *runs away in shame*

Oh, and Latinas, too. Good answer meatthinker.

[QUOTE=meatthinker]When I was in college this afro-centrist pseudo-scientist gave a talk titled something like "The Effects of Melanin in the Brain." She then spent the whole time saying things like "only white people can be racist" and "white women like receiving chocolates with nuts in a heart-shaped box because it reminds them of a black man's scrotum." It just went on and on like one big, nutty, rant with nary a mention of any actual neurology or research or brain chemistry.[/QUOTE]

I admit sometimes I get horny when I think about white woman fucking black men... as if in some wierd way all white women are my girlfriend and all black men are stealing them away from me withtheir far superior penises and sexual bag o' tricks. It's kind of the same way the idea of being cuckolded seems fun in theory. Some of my horniest moments are when I think a chick is cheating on me. It's more of a angry horny, but it really makes me fucking hot. Whereas the actual deed, the actual finding out you are being cheated on, sucks. I mean, I know I'm awesome in the sack, but still the idea that somewhere out there is some dude with a bigger dick and better technique weighs heavily upon my mind in a really horny sort-of-way, like I need to try harder and work for that impossible dream of the perfect lay. It's times like this when I want nothing more than to be a teenage girl confused by her sexuality with buddingbreasts and a pink juicy vagina the color of bubblegum saltwater taffy that juices up and soaks through her white cotton grandma panties pulled up over her naive stomach ful of agsty butterflies and curling freaky-deaky sensations at the mere hint of a horsey ride atop my bouncing denim-shrouded knee...

[QUOTE=ALP]I like facial hair...only if it’s clean and short. I love accents! Preferably[/QUOTE]

TEXAN?

[img]http://img35.photobucket.com/albums/v107/succotashmoon/brock01.jpg[/img] howdy!

[QUOTE=Brock Landers]TEXAN?

[img]http://img35.photobucket.com/albums/v107/succotashmoon/brock01.jpg[/img] howdy![/QUOTE]

Brock...is that you? Cute!

[QUOTE=For Serious]Nothing makes me hornier than being with a girl who is as horny and ready to go as I am. It takes two to have great sex. She can't just lie on her back and expect to come unless she's willing to put something into it. Talking, rubbing, kissing, something. You get what you give, folks.

Nothing will make me go limp faster than someone who just isn't into it. Like this one time this escort was trying to rip me off for $500 on top of the agency fee, which is utter bullshit. She wasn't gonna leave and I had already given her the fee. All I had was an extra hundred and all that got me was a hj. She pulled out some green herbal lotion shit. C'mon, if you're gonna stroke me off with lube of some sort it should at least be Vaseline or AstroGlide. Not lotion. What was that line from Choke, "Anything meant to soften the skin seemed counterintuitive." The job itself wasn't all that great either. She was giving me this weird intense stare. I'm guessing she was doing "sexy". Or trying to anyway. The only thing that got me to come was seeing her Double-D's. Plus, she let me slide a finger in her and that helped. Yeah, nothing worse than someone who ain't into it.... Wait, did I just say all that?! *runs away in shame*[/QUOTE]

I'd rather jerk-off than be with a chick not "into" the sex... paying for sex is nothing new... it's called dinner and a movie... hot buttered handjob optional...

[QUOTE=ALP]Brock...is that you? Cute![/QUOTE]

My recentest pic on the site. It's from January though. I gotta get some new ones. I gotta mail them to someone with a webcam or something. That's what I did with that one... sent it to Washington and Succotash Moon, those are her fingers on the edge...

[QUOTE=Six On The Dot]You Have Giant Fingers![/QUOTE]

Funny. Succotash Moon Web Cam fingers. Smartenheimie!

I am from Lakeside [url]http://www.lakesiderodeo.com/[/url] AKA "Hickville"

[QUOTE=Six On The Dot]Also, whacking off. My boyfriend, naked and beating it violently...uh...excuse me...I have to go uhm...away...from this thread...[/QUOTE]

You beat your boyfriend violently? Poor kid!

I really don't much like a chick doing any handjive on my unit. Chicks suck at handjobs. I only had one that was any good from a chick, and even then it was only good because she was licking my balls at the same time...

[QUOTE=Six On The Dot]Older guys. Like, rapist tutor older guys. Rape in general. And incest. Not like, my actual family, because that's fucking disgusting in every which way possible, but like, pretending that my boyfriend is my cousin. Captian Jean Luc Picard fucking me with his foot. ANything really really wrong.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, the fantasy of incest is sorta hot. I remember one time I was looking at really questionable porn, like it was right on the edge of being illegal, and I stumbled upon some kind of russian lolita incest site and I think it was illegal or maybe they just said ILLEGAL! real big on the screen toget people to come and check it out, but whatever, it made me feel horny in a this is really wrong sort of guilty bad way, which in reality is the best and I think is why Ipush the boundaries of my own sexuality so much, open to pretty much anything, forgetting porn for a moment, it's like the more wrong it is the better it feels, and it's so true, the dirtier the better,and I blame the fact that I feel this way for not growing up ina sexually healthy environment and being raised catholic, I dunno, I like it I guess, still I hate how everytime I masturbate i get images of dead people watching me, all perched on clouds with harps and shaking their naughty finger at me and clicking their tongue and shaking their headsin disgust...

[QUOTE=Brock Landers]Chicks suck at handjobs.[/QUOTE]
See also: My previous post.

[QUOTE=Six On The Dot]BUTTCHEEKS!

leavingnow.[/QUOTE]
I've been told that I have a nice ass, more like a black man, not a flat white guy ass that leaves blue jeans sagging in the back. But OMG am I hairy! When I win the lottery I'm gonna get "alased."

[QUOTE=Six On The Dot]Older guys. Like, rapist tutor older guys. Rape in general. And incest. Not like, my actual family, because that's fucking disgusting in every which way possible, but like, pretending that my boyfriend is my cousin. Captian Jean Luc Picard fucking me with his foot. ANything really really wrong.[/QUOTE]
What about produce? Like cukes and bananas and radishes and stuff?

[QUOTE=meatthinker]I've been told that I have a nice ass, more like a black man, not a flat white guy ass that leaves blue jeans sagging in the back. But OMG am I hairy! When I win the lottery I'm gonna get "alased."[/QUOTE]

you got a fat ass like a chick! black women have nice butts! not black men! all the women go ga-ga for white men with good butts and maybe one of those bald black models witha name starting with a t...

It could be hot to do it on the altar, kind of like those scenes from [I]Choke[/I] but actually go through with it, then have the priest and people from the parish show up and be all shocked and horrified.

So back to incest, I had a pretty hot and heavy session with my older cousin when I was in my teens and I still have the hots for her, rather think about her. I think she is my mom's sister's other sister daughter or something, but she's married now and I haven't seen her for years...

[QUOTE=Six On The Dot]I had a dream I fucked a corn cob once. It was hot.[/QUOTE]

[img]http://www.discreetshipping.com/Merchant2/headerimages/barelygroup_05.jpg[/img]

A few months back, there was an issueof Lollipops magazine, which had on the cover a chick in overalls in a barn with corn stalks around her, and on the inside of the mag, she had the corn cob up inside her. Theoretically-speaking, it was hot, but it did not inspire a boner... I guess I'd have to be a chick into produce...

I really don't get the appeal for women of men's butts. The reason guys like women's butts (besides that they're nice to look at) is a nice big ass is handy during sex. When your girl's on top it feels good to reach around and get a good handful of flesh. Also, if you're doing her from behind, standing up, the extra cushion feels wad-blowingly splendid. Plus, there's anal too. Can't forget that. Plenty o' reasons.

[QUOTE=meatthinker]It could be hot to do it on the altar, kind of like those scenes from [I]Choke[/I] but actually go through with it, then have the priest and people from the parish show up and be all shocked and horrified.[/QUOTE]

See, again... it SOUNDS hot and all, likeit did in Choke, but in reality, I don't think that shit is hot or even dirty. Doing it on an altar in a movie about the antichrist is fine and all, but actually doing it on an altar in a church would just be a waste of time in my opinion. I'd much rather get it on the confessional while pretending to be a priest and giving people penance... like UH-HUH OH YEAH THAT'S GOOD DON'T STOP SAY 100 OUR FATHERS AND 569 HAIL MARY'S AND CALL ME IN THE MORNING BITCH...

[QUOTE=Six On The Dot]I get parinoid about this sorta stuff though. Like, what if my boyfriend's boning his cousin everytime she comes over? And the whole sleeping in the same room thing....It'd be too easy...But if he was my cousin, I'd hit it[/QUOTE]

I'm confused. You have a boyfriend who's cousin you want to bone? So is his cousin a he or a she? And if it's a guy, does this mean your boyfriend is bi or something or if it's a girl are you some kind of lesbian incester? You lost me... you HAD me, then you LOST me...

[QUOTE=Six On The Dot]Hard, tight, day glow white teenage buttcheeks are the hottest fucking thing in the world. So good to bite and scratch and nibble.........ohh...[/QUOTE]
Are we gonna have to splash you with cold water?

[QUOTE=For Serious]I really don't get the appeal for women of men's butts. The reason guys like women's butts (besides that they're nice to look at) is a nice big ass is handy during sex. When your girl's on top it feels good to reach around and get a good handful of flesh. Also, if you're doing her from behind, standing up, the extra cushion feels wad-blowingly splendid. Plus, there's anal too. Can't forget that. Plenty o' reasons.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, you are so right, man, those gay guys never have anal sex!

It's just an ass. It looks nice. But I'm more concerned with orifices than flabby flesh. It's like tits. I love to look at tits and touch tits and suck on tits and fuck tits and cum on tits, but in the end, tits are not a warm mouth or a vagina. I need hot AND wet... or at least a little moisture... sweaty tits work I guess, all I'm saying is I'm not a buttman but I will analingus in a second if the chick is hot enough and I will get hot from it... i mean, hell, Prensa has the kind of butt I could really go wild on...

The thing about cold water, it makes girl's nipples excitingly hard but it makes men's cocks embarrasingly small.

[QUOTE=Six On The Dot]No. His cousin is a she. But if I was that she, and HE was MY cousin, I'd have sex with him, too.

Did someone say cold water? yes please.[/QUOTE]

I never understood the cold water thing. If I'm horny, jumping in a cold shower won't get me less horny or less hot or anything. I will not ignore the horny! I hate when people say MAYBE WE SHOULD COOL YOU DOWN or something. Why? What's wrong with being horny? Shit gets down when people are sexually frustrated! The egyptian pyramids were built on horniness!

[QUOTE=Brock Landers]Prensa has the kind of butt I could really go wild on...[/QUOTE]
Pictures?

[QUOTE=Six On The Dot]I was just going to type that, but you did. So.[/QUOTE]

Whateverah!

[B]itty-bitty teenie-weenie yellow polka-dot bikinis. [/B]

that, and my friend's mom.

[QUOTE=Six On The Dot]I fducking hate everyone that likes moms. Especially mine. You can all rot.[/QUOTE]

is your moms some kind of milf?

oh ok