What did YOU find on the Internet today?

That can't... that can't be real...

If it is, nothing in the realm of fiction has ever painted such a perfect portrait of poetic justice.

That was one of the cases mentioned in the beginning of the movie Magnolia.

That's right! I knew it had sounded familiar.

These pickup lines are funny and I will try them.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euthanasia_Coaster

Yup.

From a reddit user:

I'm not white, but I've seen every Wes Andersen movie and I just went
to Coachella so I basically have a PhD in white people right now.
Basically, being white is like this: think of the most socially
awkward situation you've ever been in, and make it last your entire
life. That's being white. Everything is awkward for them. White people
try so hard to not be awkward that they end up being awkward as all
hell and honestly it's soooo cute. It's like watching a dog with socks
on.
White people have a hard time being comfortable in the skin they're
in. If a white person is proud of being white, they are labelled a
racist. White people have to carry the burdens of all the douchey
things their grandparents did to everyone else. This makes white
people very sensitive to social situations because they are obsessed
with not perpetuating negative stereotypes. Unfortunately this overt
self awareness hinders them from doing activites that require an
accute lack of fucks given (such as) dancing, playing sports, being
cool, etc.
But even with all of this, I think that all of us have a little white
in us. Sometimes there's days where you just wanna hop in your Honda
civic, turn on some Smashing Pumpkins, and drive the speed limit.
Sometimes I wanna go to Starbucks and overpay for bad coffee.
Sometimes I wanna pretend I know what's going on during a David Lynch
movie. Sometimes I wanna non ironically listen to Garth Brooks.
Birkenstocks are comfortable as fuck. NPR is the only news source you
can really trust these days.
Just read perks of being a wallflower. It's like the white people
manifesto. Lays everything out for you.

"Hipster Racism"

http://jezebel.com/5905291/a-complete-guide-to-hipster-racism

Discuss.

I personally think it's a pretty lame article, but some of my friends seemed to have been pretty taken by it. It's complaints like this:

"But it's a JOOOOOKE."
Here's the thing about jokes. They only work when they're aiming up. I wrote this in another piece recently, but I'm just going to plagiarize myself: People in positions of power simply cannot make jokes at the expense of the powerless. That's why, at a company party, you never have a roast where the CEO is roasting the janitor ("Isn't it funny how Steve can barely feed his family? This guy knows what I'm talking about!" [points to other janitor]). Because that would be GROSS, and both janitors would have to work late to clean up everyone's barf. Open-mic comedians, I know you think you're part of some fresh vanguard in alternative comedy who just discovered that a lot of black ladies don't like it when you touch their hair, but pleeeeeeease just stick to stuff about how your stupid girlfriend is a bitch. (Just kidding. Please never speak again.)

I mean, she's kind of saying black people are inherently down the ladder to white people, so it's not allowed to joke about them, apparently even by using cultural references like "thuglife".

This article cries for colorblindness, but, as has been established by many authors on the issue, that's not the answer.

That article is the worst.

Terrifying.

I bet sleeping under that thing is nice.

Yeah, sorta like dying.

I like how in the end he barks, like, "Let's ride!"

I want one.

W.T.F.

That's disgusting but do you ever try to miss the water when you pee because it's too loud? You go around the walls in clock-like rotation and it looks like those charity things they used to have at the mall where you drop a coin in and it spins round and round in to the funnel? How great were those when you were a kid? You raced pennies. Yeah, just like that but be quiet because people are sleeping.

Yes! Yes, on everything you just said.

I would make a mess if I tried to do that.

I mean what Ritt said, not that pooping in your hand business.

Hehe I was wondering... well not wondering but... nevermind.

I don't believe that anyone does the pooping thing.

I want to believe no one does that.

EDIT:

Fix'd... kinda. Just the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=5mYbLFD_BwE

Posted it on FB.

I also aim my pee away from the water to avoid making noise. I'm a good person.

Statistically, with over 7 billion people in the world, not only does someone do that, someone is probably doing it right now! Yay math!

Haha, dork.

Hey, math is cool.

My favorite part was the way she said cligh-toros.

That is not what the Greeks do. lol

audreythirteen wrote:

I'm still laughing.

Thats pretty good.

This guy.

I think that was the one and only time he got to use "romantic mode" and the "emergency party button". Otherwise, pretty cool.

Ha, I concur.

It's pretty good.

I'm pretty proud of how this came out. Still learning the ropes of OpenShot video editor.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0sexte4kJw

it's an old meme but no one's posted it yet, so..

Wow that poor frog's got some identity issues.

Not a Tom Waits fan but found this amusing

This elephant paints a self portrait. He's a better artist than me!

Wow!

That elephant is a shitty painter.

YES.