What a wonderful world it would be
I don't know exactly where to put this so I will just put it here and if it's moved... so be it.
I found this http://news.sciencemag.org/sciencenow/2010/08/mamas-boys-get-the-girls.h... on FB today which got me thinking about evolution and animal behavior in general and specifically how our behaviors are influenced by our biology and the role genetics play in those behaviors.
I am not sure if everyone knows this, but our closest relatives are the Common Chimpanzee and the Bonoabos (which are technically also chimps, but not the ones you think about when you hear the word chimp).
What I find so interesting is that we humans model our social structures after the Common Chimp for the most part. We form patriarchal, aggressive societies that settle disputes by violent behavior culminating in the idea that whoever has the biggest stick, gets what they want. They murder each other, and smaller animals. They lie, cheat, steal and only have sex for reproductive purposes. It's like they're Catholic.
Bonobos, by contrast, are matriarchal and they settle disputes by copious amounts of copulation. Also, that's how they greet each other. And say goodbye. And show gratitude. And just plain hang out. Ultimately, they just take their minds off the issue at hand and deal with it when everybody feels better. By then everybody is much more relaxed and willing to share whatever it was the common chimps would have been violent or sad or just plain bored over.
So, the questions I pose to The Cult are two fold.
#1. How would human society be different if we had taken after the Bonobos instead of the Common Chimp and what do you think they would have to pry out of Charlton Heston's cold dead hands?
#2. Why did they not include any Bonobos in The Planet of the Apes movies and would they have been better for it?
Go.
Gravedigger, when you dig my grave, could you make it shallow so that I can feel the rain? - D. M.
They're our closest relatives, but we didn't evolve from them. The similarities in behavior are comparable to that of humans and many other mammalian species. The common chimp only stands out in the fact that it is the only other animal capable of organized warfare. Without this violent nature, we wouldn't have progressed as far as we have. It's what drives creation, the will to dominate through better living. Otherwise, we'd end up like those no good, unproductive hippies! ^^^
Si vis pacem, para bellum
This is what I read the first time through that post and almost sprayed coca~cola out my noseholes!
also, aren't pigs, like, 90% identical to humans or something? That they can use them for the heart valves because of that or something. there's a societal comparison there as well i think. Although The Planet of the Swine probably wouldn't have been as good.
#1. How would human society be different if we had taken after the Bonobos
I was actually thinking about adding a line or two in about whether or not LSD may just turn on the Bonobo codes in our genes, but I didn't because 1) the op would have been way to long and 2) what Libby said about us not actually being directly descended.
Gravedigger, when you dig my grave, could you make it shallow so that I can feel the rain? - D. M.
Fucking killjoy. Being right is not the point! The point is imagining the United Nations gathering Bonobo style! Just think of the Football games! And "Pop" quizes. And Fucking The Planet of the Apes... Literally!!!
Gravedigger, when you dig my grave, could you make it shallow so that I can feel the rain? - D. M.
I'd fuck a monkey girl.
Fucking killjoy.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
as usual i have almost no time. but i like this.
"Bonobos, by contrast, are matriarchal and they settle disputes by copious amounts of copulation. Also, that's how they greet each other. And say goodbye. And show gratitude. And just plain hang out. Ultimately, they just take their minds off the issue at hand and deal with it when everybody feels better. By then everybody is much more relaxed and willing to share whatever..."
so far, i love that.
Alright, alright. If we were to behave more like bonobos, then not only would we NOT have football games (although, if we did, it would be the WNFL that we watch, if there is such a thing, and the women playing would have to be playing for the lives of their children to do well), but The Planet of the Apes would prove to be not as populated, since most of the members of the species would've died due to natural predators picking off the inbred ones. Like mena said, they fuck anyone and everyone. The only taboo is mothers riding their adult sons. Other than that, they don't give a shit.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
gross
The United Nations is, like, almost entirely male. That wouldn't be a pretty site. Also, if you were trying to picture football games with all the players fucking on the field before the match, you should just salt my eyes out, yourself. Pop quizzes? Hmmmmm. I've only had one teacher that ever made me pop a tent.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
This is all a pretty negative view of humanity.
"Bonobos, by contrast, are matriarchal and they settle disputes by copious amounts of copulation. Also, that's how they greet each other. And say goodbye. And show gratitude. And just plain hang out. Ultimately, they just take their minds off the issue at hand and deal with it when everybody feels better. By then everybody is much more relaxed and willing to share whatever..."
so far, i love that.
That's like, 3/4 of the way down. It would have taken you less time to read it than to post about not reading it.
Gravedigger, when you dig my grave, could you make it shallow so that I can feel the rain? - D. M.
This is what I read the first time through that post and almost sprayed coca~cola out my noseholes!
also, aren't pigs, like, 90% identical to humans or something? That they can use them for the heart valves because of that or something. there's a societal comparison there as well i think. Although The Planet of the Swine probably wouldn't have been as good.
BTW, this would be Epic. But they made the Lord of the Flies... that was kind close, right?
Gravedigger, when you dig my grave, could you make it shallow so that I can feel the rain? - D. M.
If you ask me, we got the best of both worlds. I love our competitiveness, our aggression and passion, while still having the ability to fuck in the kinkiest of ways. The problem is that we try to mix those worlds.
EDIT: At the same time, mixing them can be amazing.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
It's called the Lingerie Football League.
"...I will take solace and comfort in the fact that I can help others..."
thank you so much for the accunting of me!
thank you so much for the ac cunt ing of me!
you said a bad word.
It's called the Lingerie Football League.
I would so do that. I love playing football and well i don't really get to wear lingerie so I guess that would be a plus. Seriously though where do I sign up?
"Everyday takes figuring out all over again how to fuckin live."
thank you so much for the accunting of me!
Well maybe I am helping you in ways you just don't realize. I can be pretty sneaky at times.
Gravedigger, when you dig my grave, could you make it shallow so that I can feel the rain? - D. M.
I just looked up the highlights... Christ, they can play football!
Si vis pacem, para bellum
yup. And the fact that they play in underwear is impressive because pads hurt when you get cracked and they aren't secured under something. They pinch, scratch, cut when you get tackled a certain way and that's while wearing a jersey.
Fuck! I need to get back in shape.
"Everyday takes figuring out all over again how to fuckin live."
If you think people who play football are tough, you guys need to watch a rugby game. What happens in a scrum, stays in a scrum.
"The rat inside your brain rules the world."
Citizen Kane SUCKED!!!!!!! True fact.
Alcoholism is the cure not the disease.
No one was dissing or talking about rugby. And who's to say football isn't tough? Just like hockey, soccer...and each sport has it's own challenge.
"Everyday takes figuring out all over again how to fuckin live."
If you wanna see tough, you aughta check out dat dere bare-knuckle boxin'!
Si vis pacem, para bellum
No one was dissing or talking about rugby. And who's to say football isn't tough? Just like hockey, soccer...and each sport has it's own challenge.
Yeah, it's really tough to play in ten second intervals. Football is the weakest 'tough' sport out there. And soccer, don't get me started on soccer.
"The rat inside your brain rules the world."
Citizen Kane SUCKED!!!!!!! True fact.
Alcoholism is the cure not the disease.
Back to the topic on hand. It's really tough to actually compare ourself to another species. In truth there is just to many variables to come up with a solid conclusion.
"The rat inside your brain rules the world."
Citizen Kane SUCKED!!!!!!! True fact.
Alcoholism is the cure not the disease.
No one was dissing or talking about rugby. And who's to say football isn't tough? Just like hockey, soccer...and each sport has it's own challenge.
Yeah, it's really tough to play in ten second intervals. Football is the weakest 'tough' sport out there. And soccer, don't get me started on soccer.
By bringing up soccer, when nobody had claimed soccer to be a tough sport, I can assume you're trying to say a sport can be judged by how tough it is. You should just go balls out with a NEW sport where two people headbutt each other until one falls down.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
No one was dissing or talking about rugby. And who's to say football isn't tough? Just like hockey, soccer...and each sport has it's own challenge.
Yeah, it's really tough to play in ten second intervals. Football is the weakest 'tough' sport out there. And soccer, don't get me started on soccer.
By bringing up soccer, when nobody had claimed soccer to be a tough sport, I can assume you're trying to say a sport can be judged by how tough it is. You should just go balls out with a NEW sport where two people headbutt each other until one falls down.
Have you ever seen a scrum? Only two other sports with a higher chance of you getting punched in the face without any penalties; MMA and boxing.
"The rat inside your brain rules the world."
Citizen Kane SUCKED!!!!!!! True fact.
Alcoholism is the cure not the disease.
No one was dissing or talking about rugby. And who's to say football isn't tough? Just like hockey, soccer...and each sport has it's own challenge.
Yeah, it's really tough to play in ten second intervals. Football is the weakest 'tough' sport out there. And soccer, don't get me started on soccer.
By bringing up soccer, when nobody had claimed soccer to be a tough sport, I can assume you're trying to say a sport can be judged by how tough it is. You should just go balls out with a NEW sport where two people headbutt each other until one falls down.
Have you ever seen a scrum? Only two other sports with a higher chance of you getting punched in the face without any penalties; MMA and boxing.
Dude you are totally missing the point. Just because you see blood does not make that sport "tough". Football is challenging not only physically but mentally. You have to memorize a shit ton of plays, know angles, have dexterity, agility, strength, speed and be able to take a hit. I didn't say I didn't respect a good rugby match but you are comparing apples and oranges. Just because they are both called sports doesn't mean they are comparable. It really pisses me off when people who, without really knowing what goes into actually playing in such a sport, think they can talk shit because it doesn't live up to their standards of the ultimate "tough" sport.
"Everyday takes figuring out all over again how to fuckin live."
Dude you are totally missing the point. Just because you see blood does not make that sport "tough". Football is challenging not only physically but mentally. You have to memorize a shit ton of plays, know angles, have dexterity, agility, strength, speed and be able to take a hit.
And that isn't necessary in rugby? For fucks sake, getting trampled is part of the game.
"The rat inside your brain rules the world."
Citizen Kane SUCKED!!!!!!! True fact.
Alcoholism is the cure not the disease.
Dude, now you're just trolling.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
"Everyday takes figuring out all over again how to fuckin live."
Isn't rugby just a more organized version of Kill the Man with the Ball?
there's not much strategy or mental toughness to a bunch of pituitary retards bumping skulls together.
You mean Smear the Queer?
"Everyday takes figuring out all over again how to fuckin live."
My computer is a lot better than that.
"The rat inside your brain rules the world."
Citizen Kane SUCKED!!!!!!! True fact.
Alcoholism is the cure not the disease.
You mean Smear the Queer?
As long as the queer is running around with some sort of ball. otherwise, it's just a hatecrime.
There really is only one manly sport.
How do you know the chimps didn't model their society off of us? That whole "Monkey See, Monkey Do" thing had to come from somewhere.