Ways in which you are failing yourself

Your life sucks.

I am not using my feminine wiles to their fullest extent.

I'm not as fast as I once was, but I'm stronger than I was when I was faster than I am now; however I've been stronger than I am now, but at the time I was slower than I am. I've been healthier, because I smoke too much, but when I was healthier I didn't eat as good as I do now.

I have trouble balancing things. Doing everything perfectly in key to all of my designs, but at the same time. I juggle. When I'm writing I don't read enough, when I'm working out I don't write enough, and when I'm doing everything right for a stretch, I can't sleep; I become into a silence that demands introspection, because to sleep would propagate my coming awake in the same bed, opening my eyes to the same place, and I can't continue the cycle until I've taken a moment to roll a joint, to breathe in deep and hold it until all the world fades to black, with me the bright white center of it all, and then I have to walk to sober up and drink a liter of water because my brain fluid is contaminated, and thus the cycle repeats itself, because nothing tastes as good as water when you're dehydrated, because there's no fight in the world and I need a demon to shake.

teehee

I haven't fought or argued in awhile but I don't leave my house much so its kinda hard to do. Other than that I'm pretty fucking perfect.

By age 23 I didn't become a carny, a ride jock, or a roustabout. Nor have I scored any sawbucks off of any marks or mooches.

By refusing to answer the question.

I've devolved 4 years and developed a college version of senioritis. It's all real stressful. I just spent 8 hours working on a project I have a feeling isn't going to go over well tomorrow, me waking up at 6:40.

I haven't read any of Chuck's essays today.

I'm not done with college yet.

I enrolled in real college at 18 but never showed up, as I decided there would be too much math involved.

I wouldn't know where to start. Or how to end it.

How is this an example of you failing yourself?

I'm failing myself because I find it really hard to stick with things. I've never managed anything that requires a lasting commitment, like learning a language or a musical instrument, because I'll do it two or three times and then lose interest. When it comes to something that I'm stuck with, like with my course/job, I find I've got a decent memory and pick things up fairly quickly. Basically I feel like I've got potential to learn a lot of stuff, but it's going to waste because I'm too flighty.

I procrastinate on a daily basis. My attendance at university over the past few weeks is probably about 10%.

I'm gonna be a party-pooper here.

I just wanted to clarify that parody-threads are still a no-no. However, these last few threads are actually interesting enough to stand on their own so we'll let them fly.

Just wanted to smack down some of you clever-types before you got any wise ideas.

Ways in which I am failing myself:

• I have a giant stack of books I want to read, but end up playing Xbox instead
• I really want to start working out, but am lazy (at least I am honest?)
• I have several websites that I need to work on but keep getting distracted
• I need to start meeting some sweet mamas, but suck at it

I had a pretty funny acid trip involving the movie of kirks avatar. I thought all white people were aliens and I tried to hold up a Denny's with no weapon whatsoever. Long story short, i was arrested and put in a nut ward for the weekend. I obviously escaped.

Now, i fail myself by not ruling the whole fucking world yet. I'm gonna wait till 2012 and if anyone tries to conquer me then they'll be posting how they failed themselves.

i'm not getting laid as much as i should be. there's no real excuse for it.

Who is though?

Not me!

I'm bad at being alone. I used to be really good at it, and I got to the point where I preferred it, but now it's something I dread. I have to re-condition myself for it.

i get plenty of attention from girls, i get chased a lot. i'm just not turning it into rail sessions like i should be.

big s isn't getting laid, but he could anytime he wants. Is this freaking anybody else out? Its like having a house but sleeping outside in horrible weather. WTF?

No.

it seems like too much work maybe? i don't know, it's been bothering me for a while.

Thats cuz you're female. You all live your entire lives being able to get laid almost anytime you want. His post shoulda been in the failing his gender thread.

I am letting my personality disorder (Schizoid) consume me and I am withdrawing from anything and everything. And even though I know there's something wrong with it, it feels very comfortable.

I sure am.

No, it's because someone being able to get laid but choosing not to isn't worth freaking out over.

Also, people sleep outside when they have a perfectly good house all the time. It's called camping!

I'm kinda in the same boat, cept for the Schizoid thing. Thank God for the Cult.

This, yeah. Christ. Can I use your gun to shoot myself after you bite a bullet?

Start. Really. I'm so glad I did, it does a lot for me.

And, I have no friends, but I absolutely should. I'm a nice guy, and I'm really friendly and fun around people, but I get shy/nervous about asking people to hang out.

The same can be said in terms of having a girlfriend.

Everytime I drink coffee I spill it on my crotch.

My penis must be terribly caffeinated.

I always wanted to be a realist.

I never fail myself.

Year One was horrible dude.

I got friends. In fact, whenever they tell me something that they don't want others to know about themselves it creates the best feeling in the world to know that they don't trust anybody but you to know it.

My problem with getting girls is that I can barely differentiate who is worth asking out or who I only want because I'm so damn lonely.

Like this one girl, she's cute and we're into the same stuff but she recipricates nothing back at me so I end up disliking her more than liking her. Not hate, just annoyance.

There's another girl who has like nothing going for her but she's nice. I'm sure if I asked her out she'd say yeah. But I don't want to.

A girl I had a crush on years ago is finally single again, but I don't see her anymore so...not an easy feeling.

You guys have complicated lives.

I'm not sure what exactly "failing myself" means.

On one hand, the years keep passing and I'm still not in school learning all the great stuff I want to know about from someone qualified, still not traveling, I haven't been painting or writing at all the past few months, I'm still a paranoid and neurotic freak peeking out my curtains more and more.

On the other hand I take immense joy in reading and learning new things and do so almost daily.

I'm content in the knowledge that all my children will be legally grown by the time I am 42, which is also around the age the majority of people start to really be financially set, and I will still be plenty young and energy filled to do all the globe wandering my heart desires. In the mean time, I'll, shortly, be experiencing the satiation of my boys bursting in the door from school to to the aroma of, hot out the oven, made special for them by me and my daughter, pumpkin cookies filling our house.

I've taken up painting after years of thinking about it and I'm in love with the art.

I have discovered that I have a passion and hone-able gift in placing together written words into stories people seem to appreciate.

And so the fuck what if people think I'm eccentric, this is me and yes I am going to spaz out on stuff, so there.

I never work as hard as I should on anything: schoolwork, reading, writing, social life, mental health, family. I am slowly becoming more and more insular, and possibly paranoid, as the days go on. I also have a rather strong guilt complex, which I can't shake or define.

I'm trying to get some balance back, but I seem to fail more often than I succeed at it.

You never learned / the rules have changed since we were 9
This isn't school / boys don't assault the girls they like
the taste of blood / the claim of love
these two will here on cease to be
sprouting from our fists and tongues 'cause Carolina waits for me

I wish I could find the person who started this urban legend and punch them in the stomach.

Jane, you've been watching the Godfather. I'm sure you could come up with something more appropriately sadistic.

I wish I could find the person that started that urban legend and burn down their entire family.