TMI
Are you sure you had to pee?
Just me and my paranoid prostate.
Fuck yes! Sex!
Sorry about your tough pee situation, Mike.
"We're developing a new citizenry. One that will be very selective about cereals and automobiles, but won't be able to think."
— Rod Serling
"Chuck calls Noah fortnightly on his bakelite rotary phone and gives him publisher's insider information and stock tips."- Tuffy
four
Way to rub it in our faces. I just have a major headache. Stupid pony.
FOUR FUCKING TIMES!!!!
Wow.
Before my last boyfriend moved out of town we spent the weekend together (from noon till noon) and we did it 9 times. That's my record.
Thirteen.
Over 24 hours.
She would not let me sleep.
This is why we can't have nice things.
I totally empathise. I can't sleep at all if I'm not alone in the bed, so I'd always peck at the guy until he woke up and had some more sex. Figure it's better than just tossing and turning until the morning.
show offs. I get too stupid to count or even keep track of time.
Actually, I suspect that she tried to have sex with me at one point when I did fall asleep for a bit. Though I didn't include that in the count.
This is why we can't have nice things.
THAT'S RAPE!
I think eleven is our record.
My friend told me he was raped once. It was a little disturbing to hear since he isn't a small dude. But he sounded like he was really violated by this girl.
THAT'S RAPE!
Technically.
This is why we can't have nice things.
I feel back to normal today for the most part. I don't know if I should still make the appointment.
How do you count how many times. I had a 5 hour session with 2 girls but that kind of counts as one. Or does it. I have had sex 6 times in a day, well. I came 6 separate times she came a bunch more. Tuffy explain.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
How many times the man comes, including when he doesn't because sometimes he's too tired and it just lasts a lot but no actual ejaculation.
You guys should be happy you have it so easy.
You guys should be happy you have it so easy.
I always thought 1 Sex = 1 Girl Orgasm.
Though the other way around makes a lot more sense. Otherwise I guess there'd be a lot more virgins in a world, right?
Ha ha ha... ha...
I knew of a guy who was raped by a girl. It can and does happen, and the even though it was an actual legitimate rape, and he was totally a victim, it was still a pretty funny story. There's something about those kind of things, where it's horrendous if it happens to a girl at the hands of a guy, but hilarious if it happens to a guy at the hands of a girl. Like a girl beating a guy up or raping a guy. Bill Burr said something about it once, where a woman could cut a man's dick off and it would be funny to other men even though they would deeply sympathize. The poor bastard would limp into his local bar and hear - "HEY! STUMPY!"
I find things like that deeply sexist towards men. Something so horrendous if done to a woman. But cut off a man's dick and you have Sharon Osbourne on TV laughing at how funny it is.
We need to rise up.
I think it's equally horrendous if done to a man.
Who the hell would laugh at that? There's nothing funny about a dick that isn't attached to a person anymore. At all. Unless youfind blood funny, I guess.
A lot men do though, so i say it's all Mike's fault again.
Oh absolutely. I should have clarified, I was talking about society's point of view, not my own. One of the reasons so many girl-on-guy rapes go unreported, I think, is because people generally tend to not take it as seriously as the other way. I even mentioned earlier about how I laughed about one, because for a minute, when I heard him tell the story, I was like, "Come on." And he had to be like, "No, really." Until we met a medium somewhere of, "Oh, wow. Yup. You were raped. Oh my god. Are you alright?" And as for the castration thing...I was quoting a comedian who was making a point about male sympathy for women versus male sympathy for other men. Personally, I would never ever laugh about such a thing, but I think it's more the shock of hearing that Kenny's ex-wife stabbed him in the dick with a Japanese hair-pin.
"Oh my god. That's the worst thing I've heard all week. 
Jesus. No."
"Yeah he's fine, I think. He's gonna be in the hospital for a couple days. But...man...Heh...shit."
Because we knew how Kenny and his crazy wife were and still are. We all should've saw this coming in one extremity or another but instead we chose to make jokes about how Kenny can't come out tonight because she has him locked in a dog cage again hahahaha. Alright, Jess? So it's not like I'm sitting alone in a dark room, laughing about images of severed genitals while drinking a three day old paper cup of kool-aid.
The smiley face edited itself in. I'm keeping it there.
If I was raped (non-anally, and I'm not sure how the other way would be done), I'd be pissed, and maybe I'd sue and stuff, but I wouldn't think I'd need therapy or anything. I'd probably be laughing about it at some point after. So, I mean, I get the society thing here. It's actually kinda funny (not "haha" funny) that me and a friend were just talking about how he got roofied and raped a year ago, and he was crackin' jokes. Funny jokes.
But yeah, on other hand... anally? Damn. That's just... man, that's just downright not cool. I'd be all up in therapy bills from that.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
You guys are really confused about rape.
This is why we can't have nice things.
It's bad. No matter who it happens to.
"Oh my god. That's the worst thing I've heard all week.
Jesus. No.""Yeah he's fine, I think. He's gonna be in the hospital for a couple days. But...man...Heh...shit."
Because we knew how Kenny and his crazy wife were and still are. We all should've saw this coming in one extremity or another but instead we chose to make jokes about how Kenny can't come out tonight because she has him locked in a dog cage again hahahaha. Alright, Jess? So it's not like I'm sitting alone in a dark room, laughing about images of severed genitals while drinking a three day old paper cup of kool-aid.
I forgive you.
Alright... I laughed. But only at "with a Japanese hair-pin" not at the violence.
Jesus. No.
I don't really like having a sig. So I'm not happy about this.
Look, don't take this the wrong way- I certainly do not want anyone's junk to be detached from them unwanted- but I am pretty sure if I found a penis, say in the reeds in a nice meadow whilst on a walk, I would be laughing about it for the rest of my life.
I'd have to call my sister about it, there would be "you won't believe what happened today's..." "wait, who do I think I am talking to's..." and "Yea, yes. You will totally believe this happened while I was minding my business on a stroll's"
It'd be that time I found a... That time I found a detachable penis.
She ask me if I actually found it at a party last night while drunk and tried to sell it on a blanket downtown.
I'm keeping all my penises away from you. You and Ritt. And his comedian friend.
I once found a deer leg in a meadow.
Nothing else, just the bottom half of the leg.
fairly freshly killed, or detached, or whatever.
Did you laugh it or did you eat it?
She called her sister of course.
My pony arrived this evening and she kicked me all over 
sorry Hattie.
I haven't had a period since I came off the pill in November. I know I'm not pregnant, but should I be worried? I guess I should probably see a doctor or something. I hate going to the doctor in this country.
Probably your body adjusting to not being on the pill.
TMI:I shit internationally a bit ago.
Ever since my problem over the weekend, I've had to pee every hour and a half at least.
I think you should have your prostate looked at. Or felt, or whatever they do. That doesn't sound good, Mike.
You probably have a urine infection, Mike.
Go to the doctor. Cranberry juice helps.
Kit, you sure your not preggers? You should go to the doctor too.
I don't think I could handle more than one pregnant Cultie at a time.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Whoa, glad I finally got to check this thread.
Is Mike okay? Please go see a doctor, man! Did you know that you can get severe hemorrwar!hoids from straining every time you pee? Like your butt will fall out your butt!! It will be hanging out by inches. Like that guy in the swimming pool with the babysize penis drawing/Guts. Am I being dramatic? Yes. Is it really possible to get severe hemorrhoids that way, though? Double yes. Just using a true scare tactic to get you to see a physician post haste. That's how I care.
But, pepper just made me miss sex and quite possibly my husband.
Damn, I don't even dream about it anymore. For months now, I'll wake up and be like - REally? Not even 2nd base? Smurf you sandman.
edit*
Oh goodness. My oldest daughter just woke up and tried to read over my shoulder. How embarrassing about the sex stuff. I'm going to censure my words a bit more. maybe edit later today.
I have a patch of the head of my bits thats dry. Its from falling asleep in skinny jeans. Ug
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
That's not good. I'm surprised you can sleep in jeans though, especially tight ones. I fall asleep in jeans sometimes but I always wake up 3 hours later and feel like my legs are being roasted in an oven. Even if the room is cold.
Don't be too jealous Sema. We spent the next two days arguing terribly over the most pathetic things.
Bliss to Hell. It was miserable, that is what I get for boasting things were wonderful.
Someone explain to me the pathology of this.
This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm worried that I might have to go to the emergency room. Ever since 2 AM last night I can't pee without pushing ridiculously more hard than I should have to.