TMI
I have never cum from head before, atleast not with a little manual labor on my part to finish the job. But today BAM it was great. I had to share
Yay!!! Now it's my turn to be happy for your sexual accomplishments.
I must be everyone's damn muse. Haha
"We're developing a new citizenry. One that will be very selective about cereals and automobiles, but won't be able to think."
— Rod Serling
"Chuck calls Noah fortnightly on his bakelite rotary phone and gives him publisher's insider information and stock tips."- Tuffy
This is why we can't have nice things.
It was my birthday. Back in the spring of 2012... we were just kids and thought it would be our last. I started the celebrations early and woke up some time in the late afternoon on my friend's bed. I realized I was wearing different pants. Like stretchy yoga pants that I'd kinda wanted to buy I know I did not own and certainly wasn't wearing earlier. I ask my friend why I'm wearing these pants. She tells me that I forced her and a few other people to go to Old Navy (of all places) and buy me those pants and also a hoodie because "I didn't feel comfortable." They also bought me an expensive smoothie, which I reportedly tasted and then threw out the window. My friend's boyfriend did not know me very well and asked, "Why are you friends with such an asshole? I don't wanna buy her pants. Fuck her pants."
I tried to pay her back but she told me to consider it a birthday present. The group of people who were there also chipped in to get me a $50 gift card to Old Navy on Christmas. I'm going to get 50 pairs of flip flops this summer.
Do you still wear those pants today and feel guilty or ashamed? I would never wear them again. I'd feel disgusted. But you can't just get rid of them. They were a birthday gift. This is why I hate getting gifts at all. They just pile up in a closet or a corner until it's time to clean out the space and now you've got a whole pile of things you can't just throw out because they were gifts, instead of just one thing you can't just throw out because it's a gift...so instead of just bearing the guilt of trashing each item separately, at different times, you now have a mountain of guilt hoarded up in your room and it's not psychologically healthy.
Stop buying me shit!
"Stop asking!"
Stop listening! You never listen to me!
I talked about testicles and breasts on the radio.
"We're developing a new citizenry. One that will be very selective about cereals and automobiles, but won't be able to think."
— Rod Serling
"Chuck calls Noah fortnightly on his bakelite rotary phone and gives him publisher's insider information and stock tips."- Tuffy
Do you still wear those pants today and feel guilty or ashamed? I would never wear them again. I'd feel disgusted. But you can't just get rid of them. They were a birthday gift. This is why I hate getting gifts at all. They just pile up in a closet or a corner until it's time to clean out the space and now you've got a whole pile of things you can't just throw out because they were gifts, instead of just one thing you can't just throw out because it's a gift...so instead of just bearing the guilt of trashing each item separately, at different times, you now have a mountain of guilt hoarded up in your room and it's not psychologically healthy.
Stop buying me shit!
"Stop asking!"
Stop listening! You never listen to me!
I can't relate to that. I love birthdays and gifts and above all, I love my birthday and people giving me gifts.
I wear the pants to bed because while they do make me feel guilty, I grew up Catholic and find it easier to sleep if I'm loving enveloped in a layer of my own shameful regrets. It's like my fetal position.
Jess is so funny and is my hero!
Yesterday Sheldon, the kitten, threw up on the sofa throw and in the sick was a live, wriggling parasitic worm! I thought I was pretty unshakable when it came to gross cat stuff by now but this was too much. He was wormed when I adopted him from the RSPCA and wasn't due for another tablet until next month according to his forms. I'm so disgusted. It wasn't tapeworm because it wasn't flat. It was yellowish white and very thin and gross. I keep thinking and thinking about it, I can't get it out of my mind, it's so awful. He's going to the vet Wednesday but I can barely look at him! Ewwww. Ugh.
POOR SHELDON!!
Oh, that's so fucking gross.
If you think that's gross wait till you have kids and THEY have worms. There are so many horrid aspects to being a mom.
I'm not having them!! I don't know. I don't think I'd cope with kids, I'm too emotionally attached to my cats so I dread to think how I'd behave with children. I'd create obsessive serial killers who keep my corpse long after I died and wear women skin suits.
Eek, poor Sheldon, good thing a vet's going to look at what's going on inside him.
TMI - I have stepped in vomit with my bare feet. Good times.
EDIT_ Not today, by the way. Just.. Once upon a time. I don't care to share more than that.
I LOVE THAT NAME - SHELDON! Had to yell it, because that's one of my fav names. I always think of cute nerd, when someone says that name.
Last night fucking SUCKED. On top of having left my card at the bar, I had terrible sex with a crazy, drunk, yet sexy woman to help a friend of mine get some. She ended up puking by the bed. My friend's bed. Then she denied having sex with me when they got home, because she suddenly had a boyfriend, and was incredibly rude to the owner of the place. Now I've gotta go clean up puke, pick up my card, and explain things to my friend.
It's settled. I need to find a decent woman to date so shit like this never happens again.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Do you belong to a frat house?
I couldn't read past the first line in Amii's post!
It was like moving spaghetti!
AAARRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!! STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!
Why did I come back here? 
I have never cum from head before, atleast not with a little manual labor on my part to finish the job. But today BAM it was great. I had to share
Yay!!! Now it's my turn to be happy for your sexual accomplishments.
I must be everyone's damn muse. Haha
Hahahahahahahahaha, no really this made me grin.
And Lib, What the fuck, What in the literal fuck.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
Isaac amuses me so much.
I had a mishap with the bikini trimmers. This should be NMI.
It's settled. I need to find a decent woman to date so shit like this never happens again.
Boy, if I had a nickle...
This is why we can't have nice things.
Nope. This is pretty much why.
Yeah. It sucked. But it could've been worse. Someone could've punched me in the face. Ha
I'm glad someone is. (edit: amused, that is)
Somehow I guessed you'd make this exact reply.
Well, there's a fun part to all of this. The whole story's a long one, but I'll just say that pretty much all my brother's friends, the people I went out with, saw me naked, and one of 'em said I was well hung. That's a nice pick me up. There's my silver lining.
It was pretty liberating. I'm usually rather modest.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Also, thank gawd my sister had left town just an hour before these shenanigans ensued.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Fuck my face.
Its still a mess.
Getting laid on the regular is nice though.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
Good Lord, I'm glad for the both of you on that one. I haven't seen my brothers naked since they were little. I think the last time I saw one of them naked was during a fire drill at Catholic school. We all had to get in lines by class, and when I realized my brother was missing from the Kindergarten line his teacher said he'd been in the bathroom when she last saw him. Well, I knew what that meant. BOTH of my brothers used to strip down out of all of their clothes to poop, so he'd been going number two and pretty much froze when the alarms sounded. I went into the boys bath and helped him get himself together.
Actually, I saw my other brother naked a few years later when I was a teenager. (I'm 11 years older than my youngest brother). When he was learning to wipe his own butt, I'd be one the phone with my friends or boyfriend and hear "SISSY, COME CHECK MEEEEE". Good times.
Good Lord, I'm glad for the both of you on that one. I haven't seen my brothers naked since they were little. I think the last time I saw one of them naked was during a fire drill at Catholic school. We all had to get in lines by class, and when I realized my brother was missing from the Kindergarten line his teacher said he'd been in the bathroom when she last saw him. Well, I knew what that meant. BOTH of my brothers used to strip down out of all of their clothes to poop, so he'd been going number two and pretty much froze when the alarms sounded. I went into the boys bath and helped him get himself together.
Actually, I saw my other brother naked a few years later when I was a teenager. (I'm 11 years older than my youngest brother). When he was learning to wipe his own butt, I'd be one the phone with my friends or boyfriend and hear "SISSY, COME CHECK MEEEEE". Good times.
hahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahah
My boss took my little girl and me out for Mexican yesterday.
And today, her 3 yr old (that kicked Issy in the tummy before) gave my 2 yr old a practically new Disney lunch box(looks perfect), and a little hug. It really touched my heart, and got all misty eyed.
I have been staying at work doing extra stuff, and today I showed her oldest girl how to use a sewing machine. She is really smart, I keep forgetting she isn't a teen yet.
I'm posting this in TMI, because if it goes in Hooray everything may get jinxed.
Lols for you, lols for you, lols for everyone.
After his first sachet of worming powder Sheldon puked up 3 dead worms. This time I was on my own so had to clean it up myself. I still feel like I might throw up. Felt like undercooked spaghetti. I'm so glad we use settee throws so we can just chuck them in the wash and know they're clean, I couldn't use these chairs again if he puked directly on them.
Poor Sheldon though, he must be riddled with these worms. I wish there was some way of knowing sooner that his first worming treatment in November was ineffective.
Yuck! Still queasy from last night.
I'm so glad he is getting treatment. Thank goodness for modern meds.
It's gross. The RSPCA have been so useless that I wonder if they really did worm him or if it was just not a big enough dose or something. It just seems so odd that he has a bad parasite but was given to me with the all clear. He also coughs a lot and the vet gave him antibiotics and he seems a bit better but he wasn't in great health when I got him. He was let down by them I feel. He was a really young kitten when they got him and he was still put in a cattery rather than a foster home like the other kittens. He was there for a month, too. It seems kind of cruel to me. He kept getting held back there in favour of other kittens/nervous cats going to foster homes and on the website he didn't have a picture up so people weren't asking to see him. Poor guy!
Amy, I'm so glad that you're Sheldon's mom now. My heart breaks for all the cats out there who don't have homes.
I wanted to take two others too =( it's so sad when you hear all the stories. The other two were found together, a boy and girl cat, and their owner had moved out, locked up the house and just left them to starve to death. It's awful. And the boy cat was really relaxed and cuddled around the girl like he was looking after her. I begged Rhys to let me have them haha They did get rehomed together so that made me happy in the end.
Sigh - More dead worms when I got home. Disgusting.
I miss my cat, but dead worms is helping. haha
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
I have a perfect rectangle of bumps on the bottom of my bum to the top of my thigh.
"We're developing a new citizenry. One that will be very selective about cereals and automobiles, but won't be able to think."
— Rod Serling
"Chuck calls Noah fortnightly on his bakelite rotary phone and gives him publisher's insider information and stock tips."- Tuffy
Sit on a bed of nails?
This is why we can't have nice things.
Every day.
"We're developing a new citizenry. One that will be very selective about cereals and automobiles, but won't be able to think."
— Rod Serling
"Chuck calls Noah fortnightly on his bakelite rotary phone and gives him publisher's insider information and stock tips."- Tuffy
Sex.
Three times today.
^5
I'm, like, in love and stuff right now.
I mean... ^15
I'm a little sore, but I think I could go again if he is up to it later. (pun intended)
Niiice.
Wow! Go you guys! Testing out that no baby vagina thingee?
Hahah. yes, exactly.
No stress sex all up in the house.
Okay. my brain doesn't work completely rationally right now. Forgive the silliness.
We had a few moments too...
One, he was messing with his bass and telling me something he learned about the scales and octaves, I told him I could have told him that if he had listened a year ago and I leaned over showed him something else, he was surprised that though I don't play a single instrument I still know a couple things he never knew I knew which I retained from my (brief) musical training.
Funny after seventeen years he might notice things he never listened enough about and I might notice I have never mentioned.
Some other moments, as well.
Only three?
This is why we can't have nice things.
http://cf.chucklesnetwork.agj.co/items/9/4/8/2/1/son-i-am-disappoint.jpg
This is why we can't have nice things.
Tuffy, quit living up to your sig. Good for you, Amber!
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Well, I'd sort of decided that my own TMI would be indeed TMI and let it go.
This is why we can't have nice things.