TMI
Post 1000 in this thread.
What TMI has come to.
Quoting it for the sake of preservation.
Isaac is okay with that. I'm making an educated guess.
It was self-inflicted though.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
I can't stop laughing. This site is amazing! Thank you.
Just ONCE I'd like to have sex without having to "sit" through more than twelve female orgasms.
You're welcome. Pretty surprised it's to your liking, actually. It takes a special kind of person to sit through most of those, y'know?
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Then again, this is the official Chuck Palahniuk site. I forget that sometimes.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
I love Efukt but sometimes it really saddens me. There's some great shit on there though.
This one girl, they ask how much she weighs. She says - 135. They bring out a scale and then it goes over 200. lmao
One of my favorites was this guy who looks like Robin Williams with a wimpy little voice, and right in the middle of ass-fucking some girl while she talks trash and insults him (and I think she spits in his face or something), he snaps and feigns like he's going to punch her face in...but he can't so he just punches the bed next to her face and she starts laughing at him.
you people are sick.
and that's why I like most of you
A recent hook up of mine seemed pretty inexperienced and I think he was trying to do the whole "what I saw on some porn video" at first
Puts an ideal and idea of how it is into boys, and girls too, heads that just leads to personal dishonesty of what is or should be fun and creates disappointment.
I totally agree with this. I can't imagine porn star sex feeling very nice.
and that's why I like most of you
A recent hook up of mine seemed pretty inexperienced and I think he was trying to do the whole "what I saw on some porn video" at first
Soooo that 17 year old was more charming than he let on at first.
This was before the 17 year old 
and yes he was a younger man too.
Puts an ideal and idea of how it is into boys, and girls too, heads that just leads to personal dishonesty of what is or should be fun and creates disappointment.
I totally agree with this. I can't imagine porn star sex feeling very nice.
I think when people are just figuring it all out they are all "It was so hot my head was banging the wall hard enough to get a concussion with every thrust!"
and then you get older and you are all "Hey Babe Babe! Hold up a second here let's readjust all I can feel is my head being smashed into the wall!"
and yes he was a younger man too.
You were with a 17 year old recently?
eeeww ewwww
God, I am getting old. 17 looks like a baby to me.
It is weird in my head sometimes, James was 17 when I met him and I can think back and it isn't gross to remember at all, but looking at a 17 year old now all I see is a child.
Hahaha I was not with a 17 year old. I think a 21 year old is a baby. Anyone born in the 90's is a baby to me. I had just posted that some 17 year old had the balls to hit on me the other day. It was so much more awkward when he finally told me his age. I couldn't stop laughing.
My son will be 17 in a week or so....
Yeah, see that's weird. In the kid's defense I do look 16-17 and I always ask for ID before sleeping with anyone.(Not literally but I do make it a point to find out how old the person is before getting involved with them).
EWww Ewww I'm all grossed out now.
I literally ask for ID.
Things have ... happened ... in the past.
Bad bad things.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Things have ... happened ... in the past.
Bad bad things.
Well I have literally asked for IDs but not right before the act that's too weird.
Mine is just a couple weeks shy of 16.
Things have ... happened ... in the past.
Bad bad things.
so... you have seventeen year old girls throwing themselves at you regularly?
My Jack turned 17 in September.
Whatever Whore!
She was pretty good in that Soderbergh flick.
Speaking of Sasha:
http://thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=i_hate_sasha
Si vis pacem, para bellum
I always want much more sex than my wife will give me....I'm always pawing at her. I think she likes it, but apparently not enough.
“The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
She was pretty good in that Soderbergh flick.
That movie is like half of why I dont like her
So strange that you say this Zack, but me and my husband just had a conversation that relates to this. I'm not happy with our sex life right now, to be honest, and I told him this yesterday. Not to be mean to him, but because I've been holding it in for a while now and had to get it out. I was also hoping to be able to let him know some things I would like. Not in the bed, but out of the bed. I feel like he thinks we don't have enough sex either and when I made the comment I made about not being happy with our sex life, he asks why and I said I don't know. So tonight I asked him if he thought that we have enough sex, after being married for 24 years. He said we don't have too much, or not enough, it's just right. But sometimes he wants it and doesn't get it. I told him that he would be getting way more sexif he would just do a few things out of bed that he probably doesn't even realize. He said like doing the dishes for you or vaccuming. I said yeah, those actually are good ones, but there's also other things that would actually make me WANT to have more sex, or make me feel like it. I told him I would like him to show me more attention. He said I'm always grabbing your ass and stuff. I told him that that does not actually make me want to just jump in the sack. I said NO, some real attention like foot or back massages, loving on me and cuddling me and it not always have to go to sex.
I mean the pawing is okay, but I like touching that doesn't always involve my dirty parts and it always leading to sex. I do not in anyway know you or your wife's relationship and don't mean to pry, but just thought I would let you know about that since it related.
Try doing some housework for her, watching the kids, after you draw a candle lit bath for her to enjoy in complete quiet and just see what that does.
Whatever Whore!
Affection just for the sake of affection is really helpful.
Foreplay starts long before any touching or implication of sex is made.
My husband comes up to me often and just presses against my back when I am doing dishes or cooking and hugs me and kisses my neck and touches my hair and whispers something sweet that has nothing to do with an expectation of getting any later, just giving me love for the sake of it because whatever it is in the moment then inspired him.
He now and then also comes on to me so strongly, when we are completely alone, that it is very clear I will be hard pressed to get out of it, or want to get out of it either. Not a forcing himself thing, but just a dominant look in the eyes and way of being that says I Want You and I Want You Now and I Am going To Take You Now Unless You Scream.
So, yeah, be sweet and be dominant and don't grope.
^I like this.
Yeah. I like it too.
Why do you think I'm not hard pressed to find another lover?
TMI: I've been giving up the rest of everything I want in life for years because the sex is so fucking good.
*okay, DISCLAIMER, do not take my sense of humor as the truth in this thread*
My friends tried to give me a double handjob tonight.
Unfortunately I'm pretty hard to get off so after half an hour they gave up.
I gave them an A for effort.
You have nice friends.
I would say.
Whatever Whore!
Unfortunately I'm pretty hard to get off so after half an hour they gave up.
I gave them an A for effort.
Sucks being hard to get off, doesn't it?
"We're developing a new citizenry. One that will be very selective about cereals and automobiles, but won't be able to think."
— Rod Serling
"Chuck calls Noah fortnightly on his bakelite rotary phone and gives him publisher's insider information and stock tips."- Tuffy
Unfortunately I'm pretty hard to get off so after half an hour they gave up.
I gave them an A for effort.
Sucks being hard to get off, doesn't it?
I learned that I need to just shut my thoughts off so I can get off. It's hard finding someone that you just click with in bed. When it doesn't click and I have to think about what has to happen next sucks hard.
My menopausal Kooka is making getting off easily, not so easy!!! Menopause causes soooo many issues with your lady bits!
Whatever Whore!
I thought you said...
Like you get a pet koala while you're going through menopause. And koala is a jerk.
Caught my bits manscaping. Not a good feeling.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
It's funny how I've turned from this scared little chinchilla who dreaded eye contact and only learned how to greet people in highschool to this person who can sustain eye contact for seconds on end. I blame sex. Sex has changed me for the better, a lot.
Sex is great. Confidence goes up. Better times are had. Cme to Portland we can go on the prowl together.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
.
Just be bold.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
.
Do you think it's because you're 22?
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Oh speaking of age, I am 25ish how young is too young for a casual thing? Atleast 18 I know that much.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
Yes, it definitely is because I'm 22.
Noah, if it's casual who the fuck cares? Just make sure she's at least 18.
Okay good, She was 19 with a fake saying she was 22. So we can still go to all the bars.
TMI, oh man, we were all talking at the bar about sex and the normal strange conversations I have. And she mentioned she doesnt come from sex just oral. And then when we were going at it she got this really amazed look in her face, a couple times.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy
I had a decent orgasm this morning.
As your attorney, my advise to you is to start drinking heavily(er).-Tuffy