I lost my glasses so the "I" looked like a "!" and I only click on it because I wondered what the fuck "TM!" meant. Long story short I wish I didn't loose my glasses so I didn't have to read your disgusting little comment you filthy ugly bastard I hope you penis turns black and falls off.

Well, I hope you get what you want real soon.

I'm going to go get in the sack with my man now.

I feel like this might turn into embarrassing admissions thread because I'm really not sure what I should post without it sounding like a confession.

A confession implies a flaw in character. TMI is something more like, "I just popped a zit."

When I piss, I like to see how far back I can step while keeping it landing in the bowl. Sometimes I can press my back fully against the wall. Sometimes I can step outside the bathroom. I always get back in before the stream dwindles down too much. I never miss or make a mess. At night time, I like to piss blindly in the dark like a bat. I never miss or make a mess. I'm a great pisser. One of my favorite parts about getting drunk is how often I have to piss. I like pissing. I love pissing outdoors. In the nature, into the wind. On trees, into the soil. I imagine it's a certain kind of weather storm to the ants who live in the ground. Not quite a regular rain storm because they already have those just as we do, this is something brief and abrupt, something they can't prepare for. I'm sure they have their own word for it. Like, during the spring and summer, they have their own versions of meteorologists telling the other ants that it's Humans Outside season which means large chances of abrupt piss storms, because it's going to be sunny and warm all weekend. They can predict that with their antlers or whatever those things on their heads are, and if they can sense the oncoming weather with those things, can they sense oncoming piss too? Can they sense it coming between the time of the piss leaving the man and hitting the ground, sense it flowing through the airwaves? Like a broadcast? What about as soon as my dick comes out into the air? Does the phallicness act as a satellite to their antennas, and that is their warning to go inside? Kinda like how we have grey skies to tell us that? Oh dear, I have stepped out too far this time! Better get back in there before I make a mess!

*edited*

If anyone remembers what this said, I just checked today (hadn't in years) and I can report a happy never mind to you all.

This is the best book I've ever read.

I just cooked dinner in a tshirt and underwear. no pants party.

TMI: I've been having really bad gas this week...it's embarrassing.

It's been far too long since a beautiful woman cooked me dinner wearing just a tshirt and underwear.

Also.

My penis is 17 inches of pure terror.

On a completely unrelated note, I exagerate wildly to overcompensate for my insecurities and to make myself seem more interesting than I am.

Also, I have a small penis.

I'm talking small. As in "Oh, shit, really?!" small.

On an unrelated note, I tend to exagerate wildly.

He's lying.

But, I *do* have a penis.

And now you know that.

And you are thinking about my penis.

So, really, that's a win for me.

My penis is so average, current national averages should be ashamed of how far off they are. I also tend to exaggerate wildly.

I am not thinking about your penis. Dirty old man.

Who are you and what have you done with Melody?

I understand you're terribly insecure and make outrageous claims just to make people like you (they don't) but why do you have to be redundant (this is the internet after all) and state that you're exaggerating. Right there is an excellent spot for self-improvement. All you have to do is let your words speak for themselves and stop retracting every sentence you write. However from the mere thirty or so seconds I've been aware of your existence its clear you live a meager existence. The only highlight being is one you are able to string enough words together to mildly insult someone to the point of annoyance. Since self-improvement isn't even an option your goal in life must be improve your linguistic skill so that your tongue could be considered a dangerous weapon. That too will involve you no longer being redundant. So either way stop being fucking redundant.

What the fuck are you babbling on about?

I think.. He's calling out Tuffy..

Aren't you dead yet?

Absolutely nothing at all. Ranting about nothing is one of the minor joys in this cruel universe.

Who the fuck are you?

I also like to piss in the shower. Not in the tub, but straight into the drain hole. It doesn't touch anything else. That would be disgusting.

I mean, I stand outside the tub and piss into the drain.

Can I answer that in multiple choice? Well I am anyways.

1) I'm you from the future trying to warn you about the impending doom facing mankind.
2) I'm Lucifer and I'm bored.
3) I'm your sub-conscious, who the fuck do you think it is?
4) I claim ignorance.
5) I am everything and nothing. I'm Alpha and omega. Heaven and hell. Order and chaos. Life and death. Energy and oblivion. I am the time that refuses to move forward. The mountain that won't peak. The fire that won't burn. The water that won't quench your thirst. I'm the eyes that follow you but are never there. The sounds you hear when you're all alone. I'm the ground that shakes. The sky that falls. The sun that collapses into itself consuming all around it. I'm the end of days but just the beginning. I make you shiver when your warm. Scared when your calm. I make you laugh when you should cry. I'm everything you tried to make and all you've destroyed.
or
6) Peter Lillycrop.

Bill Burr was saying the other week how someone told him your shower water goes down into the drinking water so when you do that, you are pissing into your own body. I did not know they recycled water. That is disgusting. I don't need to drink the rest of the world's dirt so since then, I have started recycling my own water in a private well with my own conversion system.

Then again, Bill Burr doesn't understand how an airplane works. Then again, neither the fuck do I.

They even made a song about you.

Seriously, despite all evidence to the contrary, I do, still, even now, hold out hope that we may someday have an influx of newbs that are actually cool without trying so fucking hard and add something to this place more than just trolling.

Mchatin's no noob. This your 4th or 5th banning coming up, buddy?

Nah, you're right; pretend you're really someone else this time promise. That's always funnier.

You do that.

I haven't yet had sex in my college, and my classes have been over for a month now. In secondary school I made out and got fingered for the first time, the last day of classes; in high school I had sex in the school magazine "headquarters" aka a classroom I still have the key to, the day I graduated. So what now? My graduation is July 2, but it's in the Law School building as that one has larger halls.

If this isn't the very definition of TMI, I don't know what is.

This song came out in the summer or '91, I was born approximately fourteen months latter. I had no idea Matalica prophesied my birth. Thank you for this information.

I'm cynical, nihilistic, facetious, bastard, insults everything and one (including myself), go off on random tangents for no reason, suffer from a insurmountable amount of mental illness that have for as of this time gone completely untreated, and last but not least have only one testicle. If I could be anyone else, even pretend, I would.

But great loaded question anyway.

18-19 year old nihilist troll?

You must have so much to teach us.

What about kidney failure?

^my thoughts exactly.

You are either an alt of a banned account or you are just some random douchebag here to piss us all off. For your information we all rather like each other around here, so why don't you do us all a favor and either do something to get banned all ready or just go on and fuck off?

Lib made me laugh in my pants.

I was wondering why this thread had so many posts.

TMI: I almost shat myself last night after having a conversation about butt sex and some chick shitting all over her friends car because she had butt sex. That's not why I almost shat myself though it was because I ate some greasy food and my stomach was hurting and I had to pee and shit really bad while we were on our way to the race track and some cops hit on us while we were looking for a restroom and I wanted to straight up tell'em that i didn't give a fuck because I really had to take a shit and piss. I was so happy once I made it to the restroom.

Hahahaha